Warrior Queendom: Creatively Conquering The Battles Within

By Candace Hanna

There's a place inside you that is fueled by your desires. You get butterflies at the thought of it. Secret desires you dismiss as too big, or ambitious, yet all your life you've craved in silence. Did you know those desires were deliberately placed within you, specifically for you to fulfill? You are on assignment. No one else can do, what has bee

• Language: English
• Publisher: Warrior Queendom Publishing
• Release date: Jan 27, 2023
• ISBN: 9781737858218

Candace Hanna

Candace is the mother of 3 fun-loving adult children, a brilliant and precocious 7-year-old, and most recently upgraded to "Nona" status by a beautiful 5-month-old granddaughter. She resides in a suburb of Atlanta, Georgia and practices creating her heaven on Earth every day. Warrior Queendom is the first of many books she plans to birth.

Book preview

1

Dedication

Let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need. Hebrews 4:16 CSB

This book is dedicated right back to the One that assigned it. The Most High within us all. Infinite Wisdom. Vast and Powerful. The Great I AM...

Jehovah

Allah

Jah

Yah-Wey...

ALL,

I feel you. It took many years, but I understand my responsibility to, not just acknowledge, but yield and comply with that seemingly insatiable urging within. All. The. Time. Writing this book has been spiritually introspective, highly challenging, and an extremely fulfilling journey. I've been writing it all my life. I know that now. Dredging up memories of the countless mistakes I've made and desperately trying to forget the error of my ways, simultaneously grappling with the guilt and shame that accompany them. And for some reason, I chose to allow the latter pair stick around long after each mistake had passed. These last few years have challenged my entire way of thinking. I learned that had I not experienced failure, I wouldn't have these words to write. I actually had to 'get it'. Had I not, I wouldn't have responded nor submitted to the beckoning of Your Holy Spirit as It gently guides me. I wouldn't feel the immense Joy that I feel. The blessing of sharing Your message. What a satiable gift. For this gift satisfies me whole and complete. You wrote my story first.

My prayer is that the Warrior in me reaches the Warrior in every reader. That my ego not infiltrate Your message. That it is clear. That each Warrior reading, realizes the battle that they face is within. That they make the decision to dig deep for the inner strength and tenacity it requires to answer Your call, as it is the only way to evolve. Thank You for making me first acknowledge who I was created to be, which I had never fully done, because I never fully knew. Showing me the power of my choices has made me more discerning. It saddens me that I drowned that person out in order to play up to the expectations of others. I set aside Your perfect Will for my life, to satisfy the imperfect desires of others, to my own detriment. You helped me realize that every decision I made was directly impacted by lack. A lack of understanding, leading to a lack of self-esteem, resulting in a lack of respect, and ultimately and most significantly, the lack of alignment with Your perfect Will for my life. Trying to merge who I'm expected to be, with the person You created me to be, has been a tumultuous internal battle. By Compassion and Grace, the terrain of this journey only detoured my life, when it could have completely derailed it. You helped me to recall that I have always been a warrior that only gets stronger with Your guidance. I am humbled and eternally grateful that You permeate every living cell within our infinitesimal universe into the immeasurable unknown beyond, yet you still love...me. You tenderly evoke within that I am still significant. Still able. Still worthy. Still loved.

The God in me acknowledges the God in each one reading. He didn't tell me to write this book. He told me to live it and share my notes.

Acknowledgements

There are so many people that I would like to thank for supporting me. Not just for the encouragement to compete this book, but in my life period. I tend to go long, but for the brevity of this page I will keep it close to home. My Creator, with every living cell in my body I offer my gratitude because without You the people I am about to mention would not be.

You'd never allow me to celebrate you the way I’d like to, but guess what Mama? You have no choice. This segment is in celebration of you. Your life, growing up in an era where black people were fighting to be able to drink from the same filthy fountain as our white counterparts, compounded by your silent struggle within. I just want you to know…I see you. I protect and comfort the traumatized child, I befriend and embrace the depressed teen, I feel deep compassion for the anxious adult, and I completely love and admire the elderly stroke and cancer survivor. The Will-fullness of you. The Warrior in you. Our Creator made something amazingly tenacious, powerful, and wise when He created you. You have earned, repeatedly, the title…Queen.

Daddy. You're incredible. Growing up the oldest of five, literally dirt poor, with no connection to your biological father, the odds were not in your favor to become the unconditionally loving father to the five of us. You made the deliberate choice to always be there. They were definitely not in your favor to become the first black man in the state of Alabama to become an Air Traffic Controller. You were the first example of living with intention. I have nothing but the utmost respect, immense pride, and forever love for you Daddy. Thank you for not judging me for being human. Thank you for your unyielding support, encouragement, and love.

My 4 heartbeats. Motherhood has been the most joyful and exciting ride I could ever experience. Every time I thought it was smooth, another loop jerked me off balance. Y'all really keep me on my toes. Pea, you have no idea how proud I am of the man you continuously prove yourself to be. You took it upon yourself to figure manhood out by observing those men that you wanted to pattern yourself after and sought their counsel. Follow your heart. Stick your chest out son. Clarke, I couldn't have given you a better-suited name for your unique personality and style. I held you close to me for so many years that it seemed foreign for you to leave the protection of my nest, but apparently, I prepared you well. You are woman. Brilliant, intelligent, creative, and beautiful, woman. Elijah Alexander. There's always that one. The one that goes against the grain. You've always been under my arm charming me with those bright, full eyes. But I've watched you over this last year creating the life that you want by following your heart, honing your skills, and working hard to become the highest version of yourself. It's amazing to witness first-hand you becoming a loving father to Harley, and soon to be husband to your beautiful fiance. Gifting me legacy. Keep speaking into Existence Eli. My Cogent. You are the unexpected gift that keeps on giving. You light up my world with your deliciously dimpled smile and brilliantly creative mind. I can't wait to see all the exciting things you bring to fruition. 

Prologue

War has existed since the beginning of time. Simple disagreements have escalated to some of the most gruesome and bloody battles over centuries. The reason for the conflict often loses significance to the clawing, the scratching, the trudging through each battle. In the middle of chaos, bruises may go unnoticed and cuts unfelt; but afterwards, body still pumping with adrenaline, heaving through sweat and tears, the singeing sensation is finally felt beyond the skin's surface. Upon inspection, you notice the blood sacrificed in battle. Some wounds are simple. Nothing a pat of antiseptic and band-aid can't handle. Others require a bit of pressure to stop the bleeding before cleaning and covering to heal. The deeper the laceration, the more attention required, and even though our bodies are brilliantly created, there are some wounds that we can't handle alone. Open, gaping wounds that gush blood with every breath taken. So shocking to see that we hyperventilate, which only increases its flow. The only viable option is professional medical attention, but what happens when we don't choose to seek it? What happens if the only doctor in the area is untrustworthy and notorious for treating you poorly, snatching your money that day, and again in collections. What if you procrastinate and the wound begins to coagulate and heal on its own. Often that wound would need to be reopened to suture it adequately. However, if you've ever seen yellow puss oozing from a red, swollen juicy scab, that's infection. Without proper care, the toxins from that infection could ultimately seep into your bloodstream and become fatal. Whether you've properly attended the wound or not, the body is magnificently made, and will attempt the healing process itself. A person laden with conflict and dis-ease is a projection of his own internal war. He shifts calamity upon others because of his own doubts, fears, lies he’s told himself. For him, war within never ceases because he makes no advances, acquires no wisdom, entangled in his own self-deceit.

Your healing is determined by the level of attention and patience invested into nurturing your wounds. Healing is vital because battles never cease. Resistance relentlessly presents itself in various forms. Understanding how to skillfully master and courageously conquer each battle, creates the powerful warrior within.

I have a scar that stretches the length of my left thigh. I will never forget how it happened...

2

Battle of Fear

It was Saturday morning in Decatur. The choir of chirping outside my window confirmed what I felt before I even opened my eyes. It was gonna be a Bill Withers kinda day, lovely. I peeked through my handsewn, ruffle-edged curtains to scan the block for signs of activity. Each brick home, littered with its own aromatic and voluptuous trees, was perfectly still. As I opened my window, a fusion of freshly cut grass, tall prickly pine trees, and sweet Honeysuckles rushed into my bedroom. Aside from the distant buzz of a lawn mower and the occasional squeal of brakes nothing was happening, yet the neighborhood I loved was very much alive.

Saturday was the day we cleared away the debris of the past week to prepare for the next one and we couldn't leave the house a minute sooner than it was done. My older sister cranked up the volume on V-103 as we sang and danced to the rhythm of our chores. Our house sat on the large corner lot directly across from Columbia Elementary, the school I attended. The schoolground was the place to be after school, but on the weekends, it was like a block party close enough to experience from my bedroom window. A party that always started with a single bounce of a basketball. The more bouncing we heard, the more productive we got. I couldn't wait to link up with my friends to play freeze tag, climb on the jungle gym or test my upper body strength on the monkey bars. I was a middle child among my four siblings at home, plus that weekend my oldest sister was visiting from Birmingham, so the house was poppin’. We finished our chores and bolted across the street to our respective tribes. My big brother and dad ran consecutive basketball games on the concrete court. Guys with huge afros slappin’ five over impressive hook shots and debating loudly over fouls. It always seemed the larger the fro, the louder the roar. Music pumping from a boombox, skaters doing tricks on their boards, and bikers on bikes. This particular day, the thing everyone wanted to do was spin on the Merry Go Round. Some older teens were there, willing to push the wooden wheel as fast as it would go. It always gave me the same slap-happy, out of control, tickle in my belly that roller coasters did. On an ordinary day, my sisters wouldn't be caught playing on the playground with me. They were older and much too fly. But this was Saturday. The boys were out, and they were lip-gloss cute, and I wanted to do everything they did. Instead of sitting down on the platform and holding the iron rails, they laid down on their bellies and held onto the edge of it. It seemed to take the ride to a whole new level. Seeing them attempt it gave me the courage to believe I could too. Completely convinced,