Gotta Be Shifting Me

By Candy Madonna

Candy Madonna is a bold young woman who views life with strength, courage, enlightenment, and love. Yet surprisingly, she once believed otherwise about herself and her path forward. Candy felt unworthy, unloved, uncool, and underappreciated. So how did she positively transform her life, and then become a light in the darkness for those struggling to find their purpose and happiness?

In a self-help guide, Candy shares real-life stories that disclose the challenging situations she faced and how she overcame them, followed by short exercises that help others fall in love with themselves again. Her stories not only detail the overwhelming losses of those dear to her that included her mother at a young age and Candy’s first-born son, her battles with crippling emotions such as anxiety, fear, and depression, and her seemingly never-ending search for her purpose, but also how she eventually shifted her thoughts and habits from negative to positive, identified complex issues that had been holding her back, and found the silver linings that led to a happier, healthier life.

Gotta Be Shifting Me is a guide that intertwines stories with exercises that will lead anyone struggling in life on an empowering journey of self-discovery to realize their full potential.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Jun 22, 2022
• ISBN: 9798765229064

Candy Madonna

Candy Madonna is a yoga instructor and life changer who is full of inspiration and adventure. After years of hard work, research, and dedication, she became the alchemist of her life by turning the negative into positive. This is her first book.

Book preview

Chapter 1

27228.png

We spend so much time wondering—wondering who we are, why we are here, and what our purpose truly is. So many books and movies tell us that we have a purpose. So many different sources guide us. So much knowledge out there for us to just reach out and grab, yet so many of us don’t. Some of us finally do and then give up. Then there are some who reach with everything they have and never stop reaching.

Do you want to know who you are? Do you want to know what you are doing here? Are you ready to be happy and live the life you were put here to live? Are you tired of living in fear—fear that keeps you feeling like you won’t be good enough or smart enough or whatever enough? Are you tired of living in a pattern? Do you want more out of life? Are you ready to be excited about life and everything that it has to offer? Are you ready to become the you that you are here to be? It took me so much trial and error before I was able to reach my dedicated path. I spent years taking detours—detours that led to so much growth, so much disappointment, and tons of unnecessary pain, which continued to be a vengeful cycle that proved, later on, that I was doing all of it to myself.

Do you keep living a pattern where occasionally something good happens, but then a bunch of bad things happen and keep happening, and then, maybe after a few days or even weeks, something good happens again, just for a second, to keep you hopeful enough to allow you to keep going? Then the pattern repeats over and over for the good and mostly bad things—or maybe the pattern is stable and consistent because you don’t do anything to disrupt the balance of life. Nothing ever happens to you. Nothing outstanding and nothing horrible. No up or down like a heartbeat, just a straight, flat line.

You could live a life as Edward Norton did at the beginning of Fight Club, where he just kept to himself, with single servings of life and no real living involved, with nothing to gain or to lose. Or you could be the extreme and live like Tyler Durden (who was meant to be the inner being of Edward Norton’s character in an overly dramatic way) and have tons of ups and tons of downs. There is an easier balance between the two; you just have to decide if you are ready to navigate that balance and grow.

Life is all about the ups and downs. Just like a lifeline on a heart monitor, life goes up and it goes down. You are not living if there are no ups and downs, figuratively and literally. You are either dead or not living a life to your fullest ability.

You create your own fears. Did you know that if you can create fear, you can also create happiness, love, abundance, and positivity? You just need to change your mind and change your habits. That is exactly why I wrote this book. It will give plenty of examples and techniques to help you change your mind and your habits to live a happier, healthier, more fulfilling, abundant, positive life. It may sound crazy—if it’s so easy, why doesn’t everyone just do it? I used to think that way. I would see people like me with that negative mindset and think, What the heck is wrong with that person? No one can be that happy all the time. They have to be fake or on drugs. There is just no way! Well, there is.

I am now that happy person all the time. I was total goth, skater, nerd, redneck (just to name a few of the things people called me). I was fighting all the time and causing total chaos in my life. Then I flipped a switch and decided to create total peace, love, and harmony. I was tired of waking up every single morning with horrible anxiety and going to bed every night with even more worry and anxiety. I was totally over it. I hated depending on pills to make me feel better. I hated the fear and worry all of the time. I absolutely hated the feeling of anxiety that I had for 90 percent of my day and feeling as though the only way to get through it was with a pill or a drink or a smoke. In fact, when I sat down and thought about it, those things that I thought were helping me actually created even more anxiety and stress in my life. Alcohol is a depressant that causes tons of sadness and anxiety. Smoking causes the same, not to mention that it’s horrible for your body—your body thinks, with every inhale, Why do you hate me so much? I do all that I can to heal you and keep you alive. Then your body generates more stress and anxiety. And pills? Well, pills for anxiety create more anxiety by the simple thought of not having them when you need them, not having enough—what if you run out? What if the supplier runs out? What if you go somewhere and forget them or don’t bring enough with you? The thoughts of not surviving without them cause their fair share of anxiety.

So many things band together to create this disruption in our lives, and we allow it without even knowing it. The people we talk to, with every negative thing they say—have you noticed how a negative conversation with someone makes you feel whatever they are saying, making you feel anxiety, anger, or disrupted inside? Same thing with the television; do the shows or movies you watch create peace and happiness within you or crazy excitement, anger, or anxiety? Social media is the same. When I first noticed that everything I read on social media was negative, I adjusted it. I changed my settings in my social media to see only the positive things I followed (which wasn’t very much and from very few people I was actually friends with). That worked for a bit; then I noticed I was spending too much time on my phone and not enough time enjoying life. Once I grasped that realization, I decided to stay off social media, except to post inspiring advice for others, to guide others and help them navigate this journey. Again, I found myself always checking comments to see if others had asked questions or needed additional guidance and there I was on my phone just the same. That was when I gave up social media completely and found different ways to inspire and help others that did not involve the use of social media and constantly being on my phone.

So many things work together or against each other to create peace in our lives. A special balance needs to be in effect so that it all works seamlessly to generate a peaceful, happy lifestyle. If you begin to feel disruption in your life, something is off balance that you may not even be aware of. A few things to consider would be your finances, your family, your job, your home, your spiritual side, and yourself. Where do you have an insecurity? Do you feel secure that if you got a flat tire, you would have the funds to pay for a new tire? Do you feel secure in your job—do you perform in your job to the best of your abilities and give an honest job well done? Do you feel safe and secure at home—do you feel secure that no matter what happens, you’ll have a roof over your head to protect you? Do you feel safe with your family; that they honestly know everything about you and that, even in anger, they will never leave you? Are you secure in your spirituality—do you know that no matter what, something is guiding you and taking care of you? Are you secure with yourself—are you always honest about everything and about who you are so there is no anxiety that the truth might slip you up or the true you might show through after you created a false version of yourself? All of these things work together in our lives, whether we are aware of them or not.

If ever you feel any emotion lower than happiness or peace, something is off. If you feel jealous, it stems from insecurity. Even if someone has done things to make you feel unworthy, the insecurity still stems from inside of you. Maybe you feel insecure about your money or job. You can’t give from an empty cup. You need to fill yours first. Once your cup is full on all spectrums, take a better look at the emotion and see what the root is.

Be real with yourself and real about who you are. Yes, we all wear masks at times, but at your core, always be true to who you are. Don’t belittle your core values just to fit in. Always stand firm with your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. Do not wear a mask of personality even if you feel it’s needed, it is always best to live as your true self. One day, you might wear the wrong mask to the wrong party and create anxiety that could’ve been avoided if you had just been true to yourself. Being true to yourself is also being true to others. Don’t create a false version of you for the comfort of others.

My friends and family come to me when they don’t want a bullshit answer to their questions, realizations, or problems. They come to me because I will give them my honest opinion and I won’t bend to agree with whatever they have to come to terms with. I stick to my core values and honor my true perspective with honesty, dignity, and integrity.

When someone comes to me with a question or a problem, I offer my guidance and solutions for generating a remedy. I don’t sugarcoat what I say; I am kind yet firm with my guidance. After all, they came to me for my honest opinion. I did not search them out. I offer my guidance, and they can either accept it or figure out another solution on their own, including not doing anything. However, if they continue to come to me with the same problem, I will eventually stop offering my advice. If I offer a solution but they argue that it will not work, eventually I will stop offering solutions. That person obviously doesn’t want a solution to their problem.

I am the one who says, Don’t come to me with a bullshit excuse. I don’t do excuses. Excuses are total bullshit—all of them. Excuses are the easy way out—the easy ways to not change. I’m the one who will tell you to stop complaining and get off your high horse to change it. That’s me; that’s who I am. You may think people don’t love me for it, but I’m here to tell you that I am loved by many people, because I am true to myself. I am always open, honest, and upfront. I am also loving, kind, and generous. People enjoy that about me. I have also learned that I enjoy that about myself. I never have to wear a fake mask. I never have to try to keep up with something I’m not. I have zero anxiety because I have nothing to hide. I am an open book.

If someone doesn’t agree with a solution I have offered or guidance I have given, that is on them. There is no reason to argue about it or give excuses. Just move on from the situation. Someone arguing over an answer that was given shows the disconnection they have, the turmoil they feel inside, and the truth they are not ready to face. That is on them.

It took me years to reach this point—years and tons of hard work and dedication. When I say it has paid off, it has really paid off. I know it was all about divine timing, but I wish I had begun this journey many years earlier. That, however, is not how any of this works. I didn’t have the tools I needed then. I am still learning new tools for navigating this life. The work has been worth it and it has also been tough. I never said the work would be easy but I promise it will be worth it. Now, I live the life I was put here to live.

Yes, I have a past—a rough past. Most