Mystery of Stereotypes: A Guide to Self-Understanding and Empathy

By Dr. Tsahai H. London

This book coincides with a momentous period of disturbing world events.

While the seeds of hatred, long sprouted, have burgeoned into plump but rotten fruits, we are all looking for answers.

None of us is innocent.

We all contribute in subtle, conscious, and unconscious ways to dilemma of judging others without understanding th

• Language: English
• Publisher: Pen Culture Solutions
• Release date: May 26, 2022
• ISBN: 9781638122685

Book preview

Mystery of Stereotypes

A Guide to Self-Understanding and Empathy

Paperback ISBN: 978-1-63812-267-8

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-63812-268-5

All rights reserved. No part in this book may be produced and transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Published by Pen Culture Solutions 05/26/2022

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To my parents,

The Late Rev. David London

and

Centenarian, Mrs. Eliza London

Contents

About the Book

Introduction

Chapter 1Types of Observations and Our Need for Stereotypes

Chapter 2Inherent Dangers of Stereotype Formation

Chapter 3Sources of Faulty Premises

Chapter 4Culture and Philosophy

Chapter 5Points of Attack

Chapter 6We Go Everywhere—to the Heart of Your Relationships, to Work, to School

Chapter 7Some Possible Changes

Bibliography

About the Book

This book

•accentuates the notion that we pay attention to things that are important to us

•accesses understanding of our role in overcoming the perpetuation of stereotypes

•draws a fresh outlook on the impacts of stereotypes in news, neighborhoods, workplaces, and society

•crafts a tool for understanding the origins, mechanics, and functions of stereotypes

•communicates some observations I have made about life

•challenges all of us to dig deeper within ourselves to live more nobly, more honestly

•explains the dynamics of stereotypes

•exposes the double-edged nature of stereotypes

•examines how stereotypes barge their way into our consciousness and affect our interactions in society

•increases awareness that promotes conscious, deliberate actions we can take to combat stereotypes and their effects

•inspires as many people as possible to live more consciously by being introspective and reflexive about the way they view the world

•offers a touchstone for everyone interested in contributing to a harmonious world

•underscores our critical role in changing societal dialogue about stereotypes

The book at once alerts us to the mechanisms of ferreting out the various types of misconceptions so deeply ensconced within us. Social sensitivity and deliberate reluctance to cause pain to groups that have been the laughingstock or suffered insults or disparagement at the hands of others do not save politically correct people from struggling with stereotypes.

Introduction

My name is Stereotype. I have been doing a lot of soul-searching for years now, and I want to tell you all about myself. I must warn you that I come from a large family. We Stereotypes are spread all over the world, but you can trace our roots to the same sources because we have many features in common. I will share with you a self-portrait so you can see how I look.

Before I get much further, let me introduce myself properly. A stereotype is what you think of a person or group of people; based on this thought, you treat that person or group a certain way. In essence, stereotypes are labels. The problem is that labels are supposed to be reliable. But not every person conforms to what we stipulate. You humans are free-thinking individuals, not sheep, not predictable, at the individual level. You break the rules. You defy labels. But even after saying this, I will be the first to admit that we cause adverse reactions, making liberals cringe and conservatives smile, justified. Maybe you have not noticed, but we fill your lives at once intellectually, emotionally, and socially. Nobody is immune. Whatever your religious persuasion; your national, racial, or ethnic origin; or your socioeconomic status, we affect you.

Generally, people look at us from a narrow angle and, at initial glance, perceive us as bad, but we are not necessarily bad at all. People misunderstand us. That’s all! From microcosmic to macrocosmic levels, we play a significant role in arranging. Without boasting, we are robust measuring tools to help you interact with and evaluate society. We sharpen your sensibilities as you look at cultural, societal, ethnic, racial, and other forms of injustice. We give you the courage to face uncomfortable feelings, especially when you realize that you are not the only one experiencing them. If you begin to reflect and introspect, you will recognize that you play an active or even passive role in helping us spread.

Until now, most of you have tended to focus on a few of our relatives—perhaps those you find amusing, annoying, or even repulsive. You seem to have your go-to list. But it is time to enter our world analytically, scientifically, consciously.

Ask yourselves why we stereotypes work you up the way we do. Can it be that we are hitting on some exposed nerves? Are we revealing the presence of delicate feelings within you that are looking for protection? Why are you so eager to use us? Is the hard and cold truth about your-selves so shameful that you want to blame other people?

You can be quite sure of one thing. Just about every member of our stereotype clan has at least a grain of truth. That’s all we need to do our work. Come on! We have to work with something.

In this book, I describe how we stereotypes are born, where we live, the environments that sustain us, what we do, why we exist. I am making a point of giving graphic and well-researched details because I know that many of you may doubt my claims. Most people give credit to our noticeable and better-known relations while taking most of us for granted. Yes, they use us, but they do not accord us the recognition that is our due. I will tell you little stories, present research, and engage you in discussions so you will learn to identify us and learn all about us. There should be no surprise that most of us do not parade as our more brazen relatives. We disguise ourselves and live where you will never expect to find us. We are quite clever. But by the time you are through reading this book, if you witness one of us committing a crime, you will be able to give a graphic description and have us apprehended.

As I said, I am committed to exposing us for who we are.

CHAPTER 1

Types of Observations and Our Need for Stereotypes

As I promised you, here is my self-portrait. As you examine the anatomy of a stereotype, look for the significant elements that I will present in six chapters.

In this chapter, I will explain who we are. I do not hesitate to thank you for your essential role in contributing to our very existence. In other words, without you, we do not exist. We just cannot. We live in a symbiotic relationship with you. Naturally, we need each other. I will discuss how the four types of observations you make—admiration, conceit, keen interest, and disgust—contribute to our birth. When you look at my self-portrait, you will see that these observations involving the senses make up our heads.

An Example of How Stereotypes Work

As Norm’s wife, Sue, goes off to her high-paying job, he kisses her warmly. He is happy for her. He is comfortable with himself and his children. Just a few months ago, he used to bring home the bacon—big, hearty slices—enough to feed everyone. They had initially agreed that Sue would stay home to take care of the kids. And she did just that for eighteen years. Then, Norm’s position in information technology was outsourced. And Norm is not alone. According to one report from Global Research, roughly fourteen million American jobs are still at risk for outsourcing to other cheaper workforces around the world. Norm had dismissed over fifty employees because they cost the company too much. Then it was his turn, his third layoff since he turned fifty. He has never been able to recapture his peak salary. He found the social stigma associated with his job loss even more painful than the financial discomfort itself.

As more women wind their way higher and higher up the spiral staircase in today’s workplace, increasing numbers of men are feeling lost and pushed out to pasture. After all, it is supposed to be men break-ing new ground and heaving on their bare backs the catch of the day that will feed their families.

Norm used to feel validated. He used to feel like the man he was raised to think he should be—a man providing for his family, taking care of his responsibilities. But with the economic downturn, his role reversed. Fortunately, Sue’s degrees came in handy, and she was able to land a fantastic job in marketing and sales. Her income is even better than Norm’s was at the height of his career. Norm has had to wrap his mind around the shift in roles.

One morning, as the sun cast its first rays on his face, he found him-self standing in the driveway, scratching his head. Half of him admired the sheer intelligence and spunk that had garnered her such a position; the other half seethed in anger and an admixture of utter disgust and envy. He was filled with sadness and an irrepressible urge to sabotage his wife’s focus on the job.

What was going on? He could not explain this onslaught of emo-tions that descended upon him like an avalanche. Norm! he heard himself say. Snap out of it! The shock and shame of his descent into these raw emotions left him motionless and perplexed. He stood in the driveway for another half hour.

Job hunting had become his new preoccupation. He was not going to lift a finger to do any unattended household chores. He had already submitted over eighty applications with no success. Perhaps abject pov-erty would have forced him to feel differently. It would have been better. The family would at least suffer as one. But his wife rescued them all from the jaws of poverty, eviction, and living with relatives. Logically, it was better. But in his gut, he hated it. In this case, enough was not as good as a feast. Fate, his country, and, most of all, his wife had betrayed him. But was this the way to celebrate his wife’s success? Was this the way to demonstrate his joy that his life partner, the other half of himself, was fortunate enough to find employment to support the family?

If women go out and win the living for the family, what is the man supposed to do? Even more distressingly, if they both go out hunting and she consistently brings home the bigger catch, how is he supposed to feel? Is he supposed to be happy for her? I mean, really? Is he supposed to say, Well, our entire family is reaping the benefits. Why focus on who is doing what? Even if he gets to that point, he still finds himself thinking about how he imagines other people perceive him. Is he man enough? With this drastic role reversal, is his self-esteem going to take a hit? Is his wife now in charge of the family? Has her tone become a bit more authoritarian lately? Or did he imagine it? Is she secretly judging him? Does she think that the temperament flaws he displays at home may have been put on full display at work? Was that what led to his present job displacement? Will he become a statistic and have his job dissolution morph into his marital unfitness?

Such conflicting emotional upheavals partially result from us, ste-reotypes of what roles men and women play in society and the home. This view of the man’s role in the family is highly resistant to change. Men pin their identities, to a considerable extent, to this societally ex-pected and approved position.

Stereotype Confession Time

In Norm’s story, I represent a set of beliefs about the way a person or group is supposed to behave or act under certain circumstances. Norm believes in me. He respects me. Norm thinks that men are supposed to go to work and women are supposed to stay at home and take care of the kids. Even though Norm is an educated man and his circumstances have driven him to the edge of poverty, he finds it difficult to give me up. He thinks that I am his friend. He maintains that believing in me makes people think of him as the head of his family. So far, he has been the head. Norm concludes that if his wife goes out there, not just to work, but to bring home the money that will sustain their family, she will start wearing the proverbial pants in the family. She may begin to become bossy, and that will affect his pride.

The way I operate goes something like this:

Level 1—Women usually stay at home to take care of children. Here is a simple description of what many women do. I am still flexible, still fluid, just organizing and putting things in categories for simplicity. Level 2—Women always remain at home to take care of their chil-dren. You note that I am stepping up the pace from usually to always.

I am switching the role of a woman from a description to a demand. I am almost locking her in the position.

Level 3—Women should remain at home to take care of their children. Now, I have moved entirely to a different level. My tone has become more aggressive, and I have started prescribing a woman’s be-havior. Now, I lay down the law. I bang my fist and insist that this is the new way things are going to be. At this point, I say, "Somebody needs to stay at home to take