Solving the Mystery of You

By Ann Sawyer and Susan Kurz

"Solving the Mystery of You" is a unique guide taking the reader on a transformative journey to greater self-knowledge and to the authentic self.

Focused on the reader's own life and experiences, the beauty, strength, talents and virtues of the self, previously unknown, will be discovered. This work is an antidote to the modern malaise of

• Language: English
• Publisher: Garnet Drake Publishing
• Release date: Jan 12, 2024
• ISBN: 9798218264529

Ann Sawyer

In her psychotherapy practice Ann found when her clients were empowered with greater self-knowledge and a deeper connection to their authentic, inner self, they embrace life more. The disorders of being depressed, anxious and stuck are diminished and lose the power to upset and disturb these clients' lives. This insight inspired Ann to more study into biography work, spirituality and self-psychology, resulting in a desire to share the value of self-knowledge for greater health and happiness. After finding a partner who shares this passion, Susan Kurz, "Solving the Mystery of You," was born.Throughout her life, helping and caring for people has been Ann's vocation shown in her career as a clinical social worker doing therapy with many people from all walks of life over the years. Helping and caring are also her avocation, as even her diagnosis with Multiple Sclerosis led her to help others. Finding a way to reverse symptoms and restore health from this degenerative disease, Ann shared her journey through her book, "The MS Recovery Diet," Avery/Penguin (2007) so others could obtain the same recovery. There is wisdom and beauty in everyone's story. Much can be learned and experienced through this transformative journey into self, opening one's heart, mind and soul. Ann is also a better person for having walked along with her clients on their journeys."Solving the Mystery of You," offers the opportunity of self-determination, courage, confidence, and freedom to pursue independence in thought and action, and chose the life path that leads to your best self and living your best life.

Book preview

Introduction: Solving the Mystery of You

This guide is all about you and your quest to ‘know yourself’. It is a journey that requires you to let go of all assumptions, all protections, and artifices, known and unknown, as you examine every aspect of your biography, your personality, values, behaviors light and dark, to find your true self. It will bring surprises which for the most part will be uplifting and inspiring. As indeed, you are more than you think you are.

Science and theory cannot guide this journey as academics address the whole of mankind with overarching statistics, trends, and generalization. But the facts that the average man worldwide is 5’9, or woman 5’3, or that 33.3% of women and 20% of men worldwide will experience major depression, tell us nothing about you. Knowing yourself is not about what you have in common with the rest of mankind, which is a given, but what is unique in your configuration of thoughts, feelings, actions, traits and talents.

Who are you? The usual answer is to give your name, where you live or are from, marital and family status as well as your occupation and profession. Biography work makes a helpful distinction between three elements: fixed, free and elusive. The fixed elements are the tangible, concrete facts like where you were born and the native language there, the family you were born into and their social/economic position, your appearance and size, and endowments such as intelligence. The second element is the free element, basically what you have done with what you have been given, your fixed elements, including education level, marital status and children, profession, hobbies and pursuits. Lastly is the elusive element, the events, or people in your life, perhaps seeming random or even unimportant, which prove to have a real impact, shaping your values, choices and direction. Important people or events can lead to an epiphany or a turning point in your life. Biography is the visible part of your being. Biography work is the study of the visible to discern the true self, operating underneath.

You are unique and complex, multi-faceted and multi-layered, requiring the wisdom of all fields of study be used in this quest to know yourself. The wisdom of biography work and of psychology will be especially referenced to stimulate your thoughts and give insights for greater understanding. Great thinkers and their ideas will be referred to and if some idea presented especially speaks to you, their work can be found for further study.

Most of all, the sum of your history, experiences, behaviors, relationships, thoughts, strengths, frailties, values, and feelings gathered from your work following this guide will yield a treasure trove of data and insights towards building an understanding of you. In each of us is an inner drive to grow and evolve, and even if very subtly, we change. Acknowledging and using this, we can foster conscious transformation and self-directed change.

The advice ‘know yourself’ has echoed throughout history: Aristotle said that Knowing yourself is the beginning of wisdom. Carl Jung wrote, To the extent that a man is untrue to the law of his own being and does not rise to personality (an aware self), he has failed to realize his life’s meaning. A contemporary thinker, Otto Scharmer, refers to individual transformation as ----- a journey from self to Self, necessary in building concrete pathways of transformation not only for individuals, but also institutions and larger systems.

Life presents many obstacles and pressures that counter knowing yourself, in this even our biology works against us. Daniel Kahneman, in his book ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow,’ contrasts the two types of thinking with the default being the easier fast thinking. Fast thinking is instantaneous being based on habit, learned behaviors, societal and family conventions, requiring no real effort. In many ways it is following the crowd, conventional wisdom. While slow thinking is analytical, considers all aspects and facts, even those that don’t fit the prevailing conventions or understanding for creative and deeper solutions. The answers are more uniquely tailored to the individual and more likely to be outside the box of conformity. Better solutions are found with slow thinking, but it takes time and effort. Comparing the energy used in slow thinking to running a marathon, it is natural that the mind prefers fast thinking as it is less draining, taking less calories. A comparable to the energy required for slow thinking is total infatuation, which also burns a lot of calories to sustain and so it is time limited. As you can see, the natural tendency is to follow along the expected, usual way though this path doesn’t feels right, partly because we don’t know ourselves, or have the confidence or courage to follow or trust our own thoughts or choices.

On a more personal level, there are often expectations to conform to the family identity, follow a career path to the same occupation, or think and behave consistent with the parents’ beliefs. Bullying, the cancel culture, the existence of named influencers, censorship, and the requirement to hold certain beliefs to be accepted in the workplace or community abound, again overriding considerations about each unique individual’s needs, desires, and beliefs. There are correct opinions that fit with the cultural narrative with sanctions applied to people who don’t conform. This is now more easily accomplished with the internet. The consequences of not conforming are public shaming, name calling, character assassination and bullying, even ostracization. It takes a lot of personal strength to stand up to all this with independent thoughts, feelings, and actions. Yet that is what the authentic self yearns for.

Most of the great people throughout history did just that, break with convention and rigid expectations. Galileo, Newton, Darwin, Einstein, all stood up for their ideas and suffered the consequences of a rejecting society. The conventional wisdom of those times was proven wrong; time has shown the new discoveries of these men were correct. A horrifying example of conventional wisdom gone wrong is eugenics, the ‘scientific’ belief in the selection and encouragement of people with superior traits to reproduce and the discouragement even sanctions against people deemed inferior not to reproduce. In the late 1800s and into the 1900s eugenics was almost universally embraced by the scientists, politicians, academics, and the general populations. Sanctions were imposed by anyone questioning this belief, yet it too, was not only proved wrong, but its intrinsic cruelty caused many people to suffer as a result. It takes individuals who through