A Mother's Hope Restored

By Deanna Gott

It's no secret that being a mother may be the most difficult "job" you will ever work at.

This journey of motherhood has a way of taking a turn at times that can become an all consuming cycle of pain and regrets if we allow it.

I've been there. I understand the shock, the confusion, the anger and the moments you can't breathe.

But because of the grace of Jesus, I have also experienced the moment when air was allowed back into my lungs and my thoughts became more clear.

My prayer, as you walk through my story and then the added stories of eight different mothers, is that you, my friend, may experience life giving peace that floods your lungs with oxygen and your spirit with hope.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Apr 4, 2022
• ISBN: 9781667828336

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Copyright © 2022 by Deanna Gott

A Mother’s Hope Restored

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopy,

recording, or any information storage and retrieval system now known or invented,

without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer

who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review written

for inclusion in a magazine, newspaper, or broadcast.

Print ISBN: 978-1-66782-832-9

eBook ISBN: 978-1-66782-833-6

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Forward

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1

The Blindsided Moment

Chapter 2

Losing My Mind

Chapter 3

The Trees

Chapter 4

Infusions of Hope

Chapter 5

Crawling Out

Chapter 6

Bringing Others Hope/ Breaking the Silence

Chapter 7

Keep Walking

Chapter 8

Keep Praying

Chapter 9

Keeping Hope Alive

Conclusion

My Thoughts About You

Regret’s Redemption

By Karen Walker

Adoption: Our Dream Come True

By Julie Bates

The Words That No One Wants to Hear, You Have Cancer.

By Grace Shea

Surrendering Control

By Vicki Hilliard

Redemption

By Kari Harris

Before, After, and Going Forward

By Amy Sandlin

Faith on Trial

By Julie Giordano

She Hath Done What She Could

By Sara Hutto

Forward

I first met Deanna, several years ago, in the parking lot of a church. That day she made an impression on me that I will never forget. She was so full of life and boldness; Her zeal for God was also so contagious. She has a way of connecting with people that makes them feel like family, and she truly is one of the most authentic people I know.

I have watched her through pain, tears, and true grit. I’ve seen her press through to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment. Her journey, though marked with scars, is beautifully penned in this book and will no doubt inspire you to stay the course, press into Jesus, and trust Him no matter what our natural eyes may see.

She has been an incredible friend to me and many others. Deanna is that steadfast, loyal friend who will show up, step up, and help in any way. Because she is a prayer warrior, she has had my family’s back in prayer time and time again. I’m so grateful to have a sister in Christ who is a beautiful example of perseverance and tenacity coupled with grace. It’s truly a blessing to call her my friend.

In this book you might laugh or even cry, but what I’m most assured of is this: you will be ENCOURAGED. Encouraged to keep moving towards Jesus; encouraged to stand on the promises of God, the Word of God, like never before. And finally, you will be encouraged to trust HIM like never before.

Now, go and get that cup of coffee and get started on this journey of hope.

Sincerely,

Lori LaFleur

Women’s Pastor of Victory Worship Center

Sulphur, Louisiana

Dedication

To my husband Tony, who makes me feel like I can do anything I set my mind to and always encourages me to do so.

To my sons Nekoda and Jay, who stand with me in belief and prayer no matter the hardship.

To my friends who have prayed, encouraged, and sometimes pushed me into telling my story of restored hope.

And to my girl Abbie, who is more courageous than any other person I know. Thank you for giving me the freedom to write it all down and share our story with the world. You are a gift.

Acknowledgements

Lamour Sandlin – Your patience to edit all of my thoughts, emotions and let’s not forget all the commas, is what made this book a reality. You are a blessing to me and the world around you.

Jo Tartaglia – You took my vision of the cover art and made it happen. Your attention to detail along with your deep love for me has brought me to tears more times than I can count. Thank you.

Nekoda Derouen – Your willingness to jump in and help edit was a relief to me as well as to Lamour. Thank you for believing in your mama.

Jay Derouen – The cover… just wow. Thank you for listening to my heart and my desires. It’s truly beautiful. Also, your hugs during all the emotional moments of this journey have been deeply appreciated.

Lori Lafleur - Thank you for your friendship. Thank you for your belief in me and valuing what I had to share with other mothers. But most of all, thank you for your own vulnerability with not just me but every single other mother that comes into your path.

To all the ladies who share their stories within this book – Your heart to join me in this project was wind beneath my wings and strength for my journey. May the Lord bless you for your willingness to be vulnerable.

Introduction

Confession: if you picked up this book thinking it would answer all your questions, I think you will be disappointed.

I don’t know all the answers.

In fact, I feel I know very few.

But I do know the pit that you may have found yourself in if this title intrigued you.

I know that pit well. I have even left some claw marks that you may see if you look close enough.

I am not far ahead of you in this journey of mothering. Well, you actually may be ahead of me. I have let this fact keep me from sharing some truths I have learned along the way for far too long. But I know that there is a mama out there somewhere who is waking up in the middle of the night and walking down to her child’s room to check on them.

I know that there is a mother out there somewhere who is wondering how they will actually live the next years with this new looming reality.

I know there is a mother out there somewhere who doesn’t know how to function anymore.

I know.

And I want that mother, perhaps you, to know what I have learned. Because it may make a difference to you, to your child, and to both of your futures.

I hope you cry in the next chapters.

I hope you laugh.

I hope you see joy and find hope.

Because these things are what got me through, and my belief is that they will also get you through as well.

Chapter 1

The Blindsided Moment

A mother always knows. They may not know details, but they know. We have this insane innate ability to pick up changes in the atmosphere that rivals any weather satellite ever created.

We just know. It’s probably one of the things our children detest the most when they are teenagers and struggling to get free from our grasp.

One Thursday morning while texting with my friend Jordan, I confided my most recent knowing with her. Something was going on with my daughter, Abbie, and it was creating a knot in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t know what it was, I just knew it was there. My friend shared with me how I could forward all of my daughter’s texts to my phone.

Before you judge me for my invasion of her privacy, know that everyone’s circumstance is different, and I would’ve totally judged someone for doing the same thing just a few years prior to this. But now I totally one hundred percent get it. That morning, I completed those necessary mom spying steps in the settings of our phones, and I waited. Most of what came through was teenage drama and conversations that didn’t heighten any concerns.

The following Wednesday, she and I did our normal run together, and she hopped in the tub when we got back to the house. I was sitting on the couch balancing my checkbook when the conversation between her and her friend began.

My whole body flushed with the now actual knowledge of what was going on, the depths of the situation (even though it was worse than I realized at the time), and the coming confrontation. I immediately called her out of her room and began questioning. The hardness in her eyes, the determination of her jaw, and the harshness of her words all felt like waves of nausea flooding over me.

I honestly don’t remember much of what transpired between that morning and that evening when my husband, Tony, arrived home from work. I know I confiscated her phone and cut off all communication (or so I thought) with the outside world. But I don’t really remember much of the day past that.

When Tony arrived home, I began to tell him what I had found out. The boy she was involved with was well known to our family as bad news. Even she herself had recently spoken of things she knew about him that were horrifying to us.

Tony decided to do what any father in his position would do: he called the boy’s phone. Tony told him that he was not allowed to have a relationship with his daughter or even talk to her. Their relationship had been started in deceit and kept alive in lies, so it was now over.

To our surprise, the boy began to use incredibly foul language with Tony and told him that, due to the fact that Tony was just her stepfather, he had no real authority. He then had the audacity to add that he would continue to see whoever he wanted to, and if that was our daughter, then we just had to deal with it.