Dear Queen, Volume II: How to Wear Your Crown, Walk in Authority, and Authenticity

By Dr. Eddie Connor

In an age of hypermasculinity, misogyny, and alpha male affinity, have we forgotten how to uplift women and celebrate the beauty of femininity in society?

"Dear Queen, Volume II" is more than a book. It's a literary love letter that empowers women to wear their crown, walk boldly in authority, and authenticity.

Dr. Eddie Connor unveils jewels of wisdom to maximize your purpose, embrace your royal identity, heal from hurt, identify your gifts, and achieve your goals.

"Dear Queen, Volume II" is an eye-opening read for every woman and the men who love them. Discover practical principles and a balanced perspective on love, dating, relationships, and much more.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Mar 8, 2022
• ISBN: 9781733281195

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

It seems like yesterday that I was putting pen to paper and word processing my thoughts, to write Dear Queen in 2017.

I wrote this love letter in book form as a celebratory ode to women. Dear Queen has been my magnum opus. It was also the impetus for my two books that followed in succession, WOMAN and WIFE, which eventually became a trilogy.

I remember being a shy, skinny kid in high school and yes even in college, writing love letters to young ladies who caught my eye. No, my love language was not always requited. I didn’t always have a chance to hold the hand of my love interest or hug her, but the language of love from my letters did that for me.

I discovered that one of my love languages is words of affirmation. The encouraging words I gave to others was oftentimes what I needed the most but rarely received.

As a man, wearing your heart on your sleeve much less expressing your heart on paper has never been the macho or masculine thing to do. Yes, we are men of strength but not men of steel. The mythical Superman stories or comic book characters don’t replace the essence of our character which is to feel, communicate, express, verbalize joy or even pain. I understand that I’m more like Clark Kent than Superman. I’m more like T’Challa than Black Panther.

There is more to a man than anger and rage. We even desire more than just sex, silence, and a sandwich. Within us is compassion, vision, and responsiveness. Sometimes you have to dig a little deeper to unravel what has been buried.

Sadly, vulnerability and masculinity rarely coexists in the same space. Our vulnerability is oftentimes castigated as femininity. I realize there is still more work to do as we make strides to inundate healed masculinity in society.

In a time of toxic masculinity, chest beating bravado, and alpha male affinity, we must still tap into our true identity and authenticity. It only transpires when we see love as an asset rather than a liability. Love mends hearts, heals wounds, and empowers us to wear our crown. Love leads and lifts us to our highest form of authenticity and authority.

I don’t do this for the likes. I do it for the love. This is book number thirteen and I feel like I’m just starting. The first edition of Dear Queen touched so many lives locally and globally and I know this one will do the same.

I may not always receive a tag on social media or credit when someone shares my tag line, but I love to see how my definition for queen has been embraced in the literary lexicon. In the first edition, I defined QUEEN as Quintessentially Unique Empowering Everyone Naturally.

At a book signing someone asked me, "What does DEAR stand for?" I told them it will be defined sooner or later. As I was writing, the words began flowing to define it as Divinely Effervescent Authentically Resilient.

So, why did I write Dear Queen Volume II? Simply because I have more on my heart to share with you. In the back of my mind I knew the book wasn’t a finalization but more of a continuation. This book serves as a conversation. I hope you will find this literary love letter, to be one that lifts and empowers you to level up in every area of your life.

Your value is not contained in valuables or being connected to somebody. It’s in realizing that you are somebody who is special and significant. For every heartbreak there is healing. For every loss there is a lesson and a blessing. There is a jewel in you and this is your season of restoration.

In our social distancing society our image is masked publicly, but far too often we have worn a mask privately. Our masks beclouded our identity even pre-pandemic because we always hid behind clout, money, relationships, fame, and notoriety.

When we remove our internal masks we can heal from our past, wear our crown, and receive God’s freedom to walk in our authenticity and authority.

Thank you for supporting and I pray this book is a blessing as you’re reading. Since sharing is caring, spread the word throughout your network and via social media.

Please post a five-star review on online retail sites (smile). Reach out and let me know how this book has empowered you. I often say, The revolution will not only be televised. It will be digitized.

Please join my empowering digital community by visiting www.DrEddieAcademy.com. Connect with me on social media for more royal inspiration and insight on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter: @EddieConnorJr.

In addition, be sure to take a selfie with your book. Post it on any of the social media sites and use the hashtag #DearQueen.

So, without further ado, let’s flip the page and write a new chapter. Your next is now. It’s time to wear your crown, create opportunities, and seize your vision with clarity.

CHAPTER 1

What’s Your Love Language?

You are worthy of love. You are beautiful and valuable in God’s sight.

If you don’t love yourself, someone will come along and show you how to hate yourself. As a result, you will ascribe to their philosophy internally and transmit that negative energy to your loved ones and family.

It’s true that you can’t expect anybody to love you, if you don’t love yourself. How do you love yourself, if you’ve never had love expressed to you? How do you express love, if you have never seen an example of it? These days, the word love seems to just be a feel good phrase, a tattoo on someone’s arm, a heart emoji when you text, or a hashtag to search on social media. However, very few find it in real life. Love seems to be lifeless and meaningless because so many people have abused it in a reckless manner.

Do you love someone how they need to be loved or do you love them based on how you decide to love? How do you know how to love someone, if they don’t know how they need to be loved themselves? It’s something to ponder and consider. This is the unique dichotomy of love in the matrix of relationships.

Love is just a word, if there is no action associated with it. In fact, love demands a response expressed through actions. The Bible says, For God so loved the world, that He gave (John 3:16). If you notice, God’s action of loving is followed by giving. You can give without loving, but you can’t love without giving. Don’t confuse giving with only receiving something tangible.

I know when you go on a date to dinner or a movie, he pays for you. However, does he pray with and for you too? Don’t get so blinded by tangible things, that you fail to see intangible attributes and qualities. You can’t put a price on someone giving their time, compassion, consideration, encouragement, respect, support, or even treating you like a queen. Don’t take them for granted because you can’t find that quality of person everywhere. You may think chivalry is dead but a real gentleman always keeps it alive. Holding doors, holding hands, and holding your heart with tender loving care is in his DNA.

FREE YOURSELF

Free yourself from anxiety, bitterness, and negativity. The power of forgiveness frees you from strife and mess. You love yourself by freeing yourself. When you really love yourself, you don’t stay attached to people who debilitate you. When you love yourself, you don’t hold grudges and continue to think negatively. Your past is a prison but your future is freedom.

Don’t allow a bad relationship, abuse, haters, financial woes, addiction, or depression to keep you bound. The bitterness of being bound will eat away at your health and peace of mind. Being bitter will keep you stressed but getting better makes you blessed! Love yourself enough to let it go. Bitterness, anger, animosity, and revenge is like picking up a hot coal, to throw it at the person who hurt you. However, you got burned before it left your hand! When you don’t free yourself and forgive somebody, it doesn’t hurt them. It hurts you. It takes more work and hardship to get even than it does to forgive. Let it go, before you go too far. If God can forgive you for what you have done, then surely He can forgive them and empower you to forgive them too. Free yourself for yourself!

IT’S EN VOGUE

The sultry and sophisticated female singing group En Vogue, was one of the premiere voices of the 1990s. The group had a chart topping song, Free Your Mind. The lyrics conveyed, Before you can read me, you gotta learn how to see me. Free your mind and the rest will follow. As you know, artists and singing groups come and go. They can be famous today and infamous tomorrow. However, En Vogue understood a key principle and that is a free mind can never go out of style.

Nelson Mandela, the first black President of South Africa, was great because he forgave. He was a man of peace, in a time of war. In an age of apathy, Mandela took action. As a political activist, he opposed a government that inflicted violence on its people. He challenged the archaic ideologies of injustice. As a result, Mandela was sent to prison on Robben Island for 27 years, by the apartheid white government. Can you imagine 27 years in confinement, being incarcerated, and isolated? Mandela was separated from his home, his wife, and his children. During his time of imprisonment, Mandela was forbidden from attending his own mother’s funeral. He was also not allowed, to attend the funeral of his son who was killed in a car accident.

Mandela spent his most productive years incarcerated as a political prisoner. Many of our brothers and sisters, know what being locked up feels like. Here in America, which is incarceration nation, black/brown men and women are disproportionately warehoused in prisons. Many are given harsh sentences and incarcerated, based on non-violent offenses. On the contrary, many of their counterparts of other races are given little to no time for the same crimes.

Imagine the anger that they feel, even the anger that Mandela harbored. It’s one thing to be angry, it’s another thing to stay angry. It’s one thing to be mad but it’s another thing to make a difference. If anybody should have stayed angry, it should have been Mandela because he was incarcerated unjustly. However, Mandela didn’t allow Robben island, to rob him of the power to forgive. He decided to make a difference. In 1994, Mandela became the first black president of South Africa, at the age of 75.

QUICKER DOESN’T MEAN LONGER

I don’t care how late it seems to be in your life. You haven’t missed your time. Other people seem to have what you haven’t received yet. Whether it’s a car, a spouse, or a house. Don’t give up and get complacent by comparing. Remain laser focused on completing your assignment. Just because they got it quicker, doesn’t mean they will keep it longer. Your destiny is not delayed or denied. Everything you have experienced, prepared you for where you are going.

Mandela brought reconciliation to a nation. Regardless of your stage or age, it’s not too late to be great, neither is it too early to get started. This is why Mandela could say, It always looks impossible, until it’s done.

No matter how difficult it seems to be, continue to push forward with faith. Lead with love and overcome every obstacle. Adjust your vision, to see every Impossible as I’m Possible. Find the Can in every Can t and grow through every situation.

Before he was granted freedom, Mandela found freedom in prison. Some people are in a psychological prison without bars. The chains and shackles are not metal, but they’re mental. Mandela freed his mind which opened the door to his freedom. How many doors have been closed because your mind was locked up? You can’t expect to achieve your unlimited dreams with a limited mindset. A closed mind will never open BIG doors. Free your mind from the prison of your past, so you can walk boldly into your future.

It’s about more than your three snaps and a neck roll. More than your beauty, encompassed by your hips and lips. It’s about more than you pulling up to the scene with your ceiling missing. More than you strutting in your red bottom heels. More than you going on a girls trip with your sorority sisters. More than you having a ring