A Practical Approach to Life Satisfaction: Powered by Emotional Knowledge and Grit

By Robert Ott

Grit—defined as persistence and passion despite obstacles—has received much attention, yet books on this theme often idolize achievements at the expense of mental health. For instance, by the time Ernest Hemingway earned the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1954, he had demonstrated true grit by enduring an injury of war, witnessing the Spanish Civil War, and writing fifteen groundbreaking volumes of literature. Yet by 1961, he had divorced three women and died by suicide.

This book shifts the paradigm around grit away from accomplishments to a far more attainable and pleasing end: life satisfaction, which results in a deep, abiding, and overarching sense of contentment with life. A Practical Approach to Life Satisfaction argues that constantly striving to pursue accolades is more likely to drive individuals into the ground instead of leading them to fulfillment. However, when grit works together with emotional intelligence, it can yield marked improvements in life satisfaction.

Written in an engaging style, this book is an essential resource for teachers, parents, and others who shape the next generation. It weaves academic content with personal narratives and reflective questions so you can hone the tool of grit with emotional intelligence to achieve life satisfaction.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Archway Publishing
• Release date: Feb 10, 2022
• ISBN: 9781665716758

Robert Ott

Robert Ott earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology from Stony Brook University and a Ph.D. in psychology from Capella University. He studied and researched the constructs of grit, emotional intelligence, and life satisfaction while working on his dissertation. At the same time, he worked as a psychology instructor at Indian River State College and Fort Pierce Central High School.

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Copyright © 2022 Robert Ott.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

Archway Publishing

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-6657-1674-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6657-1676-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6657-1675-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021925652

Archway Publishing rev. date: 1/31/2022

For my parents’ unconditional support

throughout the years.

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

—Joseph Campbell

CONTENTS

Foreword

Part 1: Empirical Evidence for the Intersections among Grit, Emotional Intelligence, and Life Satisfaction

Chapter 1 Introduction

Chapter 2 What Causes Life Dissatisfaction?

Chapter 3 My Story

Chapter 4 A Novel Study on Grit, Emotional Intelligence (EI), and Life Satisfaction

Part 2: Cultivating Grit and Emotional Intelligence to Improve Life Satisfaction

Chapter 5 Learning Grit, Expanding Emotional Intelligence

Chapter 6 Passion

Chapter 7 Perseverance

Chapter 8 Consistency

Conclusion

Bibliography

FOREWORD

Robert’s work is like a fine blend of a very good wine to be sipped, swirled about, and enjoyed over time. I’ve known Dr. Robert Ott for almost eight years. He came into the Academic Institute (AIE) at Indian River State College to learn how to use the Learning Management System. I watched Robert quickly grasp new information and put it to use. When he couldn’t figure out a required process, he knew where and how to reach for technical assistance and then apply the information to both his face-to-face and online learning environments.

In 2016, I was fortunate to be a part of the flawless trip he planned and executed for thirty-eight fantastic people, twenty-five of whom were exceptional high school students, to Europe! Ms. Alessandra, our tour guide from the moment we landed in Rome, gracefully gave way as she too listened and learned from her storytelling client. For the next fifteen days, Robert Ott educated and entertained this entire traveling contingency with facts and rumored anecdotes about kings, queens, tyrants, and heroes, recalling names and soliloquies from the ancient Senate floor near the Roman Colosseum to historical ramifications of the decisions from the Vatican and the explicit horrors of the death camps of Germany. His words and enthusiasm brought history to life for everyone who had the privilege to hear his active recreations.

As a high school teacher, I’ve seen how his students trust his words and acts of both fairness and kindness in the classroom as they seek transparency, acceptance, and relevant information with Dr. Ott as their instructor for multiple courses, such as student success and AP psychology. He has taught over ninety classes at Indian River State College, with subjects ranging from human development and psychology to student success.

His passion for teaching is omnipresent and permeates his writing style, reaching the active reader through active and provocative, personal ways. The reading seamlessly employs his extensive applicable knowledge of literature, world history, and financial literacy, weaving his tale of strengths and accomplishments while exposing his life of perilous lows and delirious highs. His personal journey of discovery is supported with emotional tours as he measures his own contentment of life and accomplishments through the triangulation of grit, growth mindset, and emotional intelligence.

My friend and colleague Dr. Ott is passionate about how to help his readers achieve their individual paths of success. Supported with an extraordinary amount of empirical evidence, he weaves the reader through a cross-cultural exploration of how people throughout the ages have studied the effect of how true success can be measured. For example, in an attempt to define what is found in the Finnish culture, you will explore sisu, the elusive latent power of a person. Through historical studies in psychological advancements of Francis Galton and his study of ties between ability, passion, and hard labor, to the most current references of Angela Duckworth and her findings of grit, perseverance, and growth mindset, readers are treated to a thorough exploration and careful explanation of what passionate professionals have discovered and documented. These references are present, footnoted, and available for your own perusal for further study.

Then through a hands-on approach, Robert provides guided activities that will ask readers to activate their own positive potential, exposing the innate tools of personal power as he provides a guided pathway for readers to participate in your own journey and to define and create your path to life satisfaction.

I hope you enjoy this journey of self-discovery and internal reflection of how and why you can find, define, and deserve life satisfaction. Be educated. Get motivated. Find and define your sisu, and like a fine wine, sip and enjoy the read.

Sincerely,

Michael Pelitera, EdM

Indian River State College

PS: friend and colleague of Dr. Robert Ott

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PART ONE

Empirical Evidence for the Intersections among Grit, Emotional Intelligence, and Life Satisfaction

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CHAPTER 1

Introduction

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When we think about the quality of our lives, it probably goes without saying that we all want to be satisfied. This degree of life satisfaction is more than a transient state of happiness. The concept of life satisfaction implies a deep, abiding, and overarching sense of contentment with the lives we lead, which persists despite the challenges we experience. Often, the idea of life satisfaction can feel tied to circumstance. While many of us fall into the trap by saying, If I only had X, or achieved Y, I would be happy. We should avoid unrealistic comparisons while remembering that we cannot fill a void with intangible items or people to improve our happiness.

Nevertheless, fewer people consciously acknowledge knowing that active tools and behaviors may advance our contentment with life on a practical and lasting level. The purpose of this book is to provide evidence-based research and practical recommendations that will enable you to hone the tools of emotional intelligence with grit to achieve life satisfaction. While we’ll unpack each of the concepts, the first point of order to address is that the ultimate goal of this book’s advice is not achievement per se but contentment and well-being. Of course, honing skills of perseverance, passion, and consistency will help you achieve your goals. However, the paradigm shift from achievement to life satisfaction is key to this book’s aims. By developing emotionally intelligent versions of grit components, achievements become a waypoint—even a beneficial by-product—of the journey toward a more holistic form of life satisfaction.

When most people think about the concept of grit, it is about hard work, productivity, and overcoming obstacles to achieve both short- and long-term goals. Grit is associated with perseverance, passion, and consistency, which—particularly in our achievement-oriented culture—tend to have connotations related to pursuing career, financial, or personal success. While both academic studies and personal development texts have addressed the use of grit in relation to human performance, its role in life satisfaction has received very little attention. However, when grit works together with emotional intelligence, it yields marked improvements in life satisfaction. This thought prompts a fundamental question. Can we create and cultivate the type of grit and emotional intelligence that will help us achieve our goals while improving our satisfaction with life?

Before answering this question, it is essential to define the key concepts at play, a brief overview of research related to the topic, and recommendations for using this book. Notably, this book constitutes a novel intervention in current research with advice on this subject. As a result, this book brings grit and emotional intelligence into the academic conversation to delineate their effect on life satisfaction rather than achievement. Therefore, the following section provides brief definitions of the relevant concepts to explain what each concept means individually before piecing them together into an applicable framework.

Definitions

Grit

Philosophers have long tried to explain human performance. Eventually, the discipline of psychology was born from the related field of ancient philosophy. From as early as the nineteenth century, researchers utilized the scientific method to research factors that could help explain the success of some individuals but not others. Early research pioneers wondered why some people seem to excel and others do not, even when there are no easily discernable differences between them. Many have attempted to explain the individual differences in success to talent. The reason for this is obvious. It is much more palatable to suggest that more successful individuals have achieved their aims because they have an ineffable, innate quality that has enabled them to do so. Human nature means that we—scholars included—would prefer to suggest, She has more talent and intelligence than I do, than imagine, She works harder than I do and cares more than I about achieving her aims.

More recently though, researchers have suggested that factors like hard work and dedication tend to play a more significant role than those indefinable and innate qualities like talent and IQ. Indeed, fields of psychology and self-help tend to favor theories that focus on behaviors and their concrete causes rather than on innate and difficult-to-discern traits. Most notably, for the purposes of this study, Angela Duckworth proposed the concept of grit to explain individuals’ ability to persevere toward long-term goals—while retaining interest and passion in a project—even in the presence of obstacles and challenges.¹ While Duckworth’s work and how her study relates to this one will be discussed in chapter 3, it is most important to note that grit is not innate. Instead, it is a skill that can be improved and developed throughout your lifetime. It is not a You have it or you don’t concept. It requires only passion. Passion is understood as consistent, sustained interest in an endeavor over some time and perseverance. Perseverance is the ability to show up consistently and to work hard.

If you’ve just read this statement and thought, But I find myself lacking in passion or I struggle with giving up on my goals when things get difficult, this book is for you. Passion and perseverance are not unattainable or inherent characteristics but traits that can be developed at any time and in any area of life. Notably, the tools of grit are applicable to work or academic domains and apply to the pursuit of hobbies, parenting and relationships, and educational capacities, among other applications. Significantly and uniquely, as a concept, grit tends to allow for an even broader range of applications than other similar psychological characteristics.

The Philosophy of Grit

In both philosophy and psychology, ethical researchers have argued, many have found it helpful to liken the will to a muscle, in that it can be stronger or weaker, toughened with exercise over time, and depleted with overuse.² So while my expertise and the direction of this book overall are psychology-centric, developing our understanding of grit through a more theoretical, philosophical lens makes sense. Moreover, this concept of grit as a muscle is a helpful metaphor to ground our notion of the concept. Finally, it illustrates one of the fundamental tenets of this book: your grit can be improved in the same way as your abdominal muscles. Not without effort or endurance, but it is not an inherent characteristic that you must do without if you lack now. Quite the reverse, in fact.

However, as Morton and Paul point out, while the idea of will as a muscle alludes to the fact that we have the capacity to develop grit over time, the metaphor lacks something of a complete philosophical understanding of grit, the crux of which is why some people tend to give up in the face of obstacles while others persist and eventually succeed. Excepting circumstances in which individuals reevaluate the value of their intended action was of interest to Morton and Paul. They aimed to discover why some individuals have more of a tendency to abandon their goals than others. As a result, they worked from the hypothesis that in many cases the failure to persevere has an epistemic explanation: it is attributable to a significant decrease in confidence that one is likely to succeed if one continues to try.³ While this philosophical thought experiment differentiates the idea of the will as muscle from the more complex concept of grit, the idea of confidence is also key to my overall premise in this book: that grit can be developed with the right knowledge and appropriately applied effort. However, this with the caveat that there is a certain amount of confidence—grounded in the belief that it is possible to grow your grit—required before this becomes true.

Noting the importance of hope and optimism to the achievement of grit (and citing researchers like Martin Seligman and Angela Duckworth), Morton and Paul move into the more philosophical and ethical realm. They suggested, Take it to be a virtue if the epistemic dimension of grit can be vindicated without appeal to the controversial assumption that we can or should hold our beliefs on the basis of considerations showing them to be useful or good.⁴ Interestingly, this type of idea takes grit from the idea of being good for you, which is what we will focus most on in this book, to being inherently good. While the more important application of this idea is that grit can help you achieve your aims and advance your life satisfaction. It is also worth highlighting that developing grit can be considered—from a philosophical perspective—more objectively and broadly good or even an ethical pursuit.

These ethical scholars suggested that people who lack grit tend to give up on activities based on sour grapes or adverse experiences that don’t change the individual’s perspective. Rather than changing the value of their goal, they decide to give up entirely. More specifically, they note that such instances may count as a failure of grit, in that grit involves the avoidance of sour grapes.⁵ They note too that grit often requires some degree of irrationality because it is closely associated with perseverance in the face of immense obstacles. In other words, in a philosophical sense, grit has to involve a degree of pushing sour grapes and logic itself aside in favor of moving toward a goal. They suggested that grit must be a matter of persevering even though one assigns a higher expected utility to another option, or of maintaining optimism by ignoring or failing to respond rationally to any countervailing evidence.⁶ They do not suggest that grit cannot be rational, but that just as we have need of the ability to make lasting commitments in the face of equally or incomparably valuable alternatives, we have need of the ability to make lasting commitments that can survive periods in which one’s prospects appear gloomy.⁷ Thus, grit is a delicate mental balance that involves choices—whether rational or irrational—rather than innate skills or talents. Suppose we begin to conceptualize grit as a series of intelligent decisions concerning our perseverance and sustained levels of passion. In that case, we can ignore sour grapes, overlook the easiest or even most logical option, and persist even when prospects are dim. As a result, we realize that we have all the agency we need to grow grit even when it hasn’t been present in us before.

We can think of grit as a way of exhibiting confidence in ourselves and our will to succeed rather than thinking of it as a lack of logic. Rather as long as an action is up to the agent and he has sincerely resolved to do it, he ought to believe that he will do it—even if there is substantial evidence suggesting otherwise.⁸ Philosophically, we might think of grit as this type of radical belief in ourselves. And importantly, hope and optimism are crucial to such ideas of confidence and success. The researchers note, Perhaps the gritty agent need not actually believe that success is likely, or have a reasonably high credence in the proposition that she will succeed; she need merely be licensed to reason and act as though she does.⁹ Again, this suggests that finding cause for hope in the ultimate achievement of a goal is key to sustaining grit over time.

The researchers ultimately propose an evidential threshold to explain how grit can operate without contravening logic. Still, for our purposes, the reason for attending to the philosophy of grit is to account for a more abstract view than that usually addressed in the psychology field of how it functions and affects individual behavior. Moreover, by building our understanding of grit on its ethical and philosophical implications, we are more equipped to understand that it involves a delicate balance of logic, self-belief, risk management, and hope. More importantly, if we apply these ideas of the philosophy of grit in our own lives, we can engage in a crucial process of self-reflection that will help us understand how we currently exhibit or fail to exhibit grit and how to improve it.

Grit-Adjacent Concepts

The term grit may feel familiar as a casual descriptor—perhaps alongside rugged or tough—of a person or film but more abstract as a psychological concept with its ineffable qualities. Indeed, it was not until I became a psychologist that I understood how grit, emotional intelligence, and life satisfaction are interrelated. Grit is fast becoming a well-studied, noncognitive construct in the field of positive psychology and adjacent specialties. In addition to philosophy, as discussed in the previous section, and positive psychology in the school of Angela Duckworth—as I’ll discuss in more detail throughout this book—there are understandings of grit (sometimes by other names) in both other fields and in various cultures.

In The Finnish Way, Katja Pantzar addresses the Finnish attitude to activities and lifestyle choices that involve a high degree of resilience and mental fortitude. Most emblematically perhaps, the practice of winter swimming in frigid, nearly Arctic waters is closely related to the concept of sisu. She quotes a friend, Tiina, who explains the ubiquitous Finnish concept as involving a kind of daily stamina and resilience to keep everything running, even through life’s gray patches.¹⁰ Even at this early stage in our process of understanding grit, this definition should feel extremely familiar. However, this offhand description of a well-known cultural concept connects quite closely with the consistency of passion and perseverance grit requires and accounts for the need to sustain this type of attitude in both positive and negative circumstances throughout life.

In further attempting to understand the Finnish concept of sisu, Pantzar cites an article concerning the glossary of happiness. This article addresses the story of how the term sisu inspired positive psychologist Tim Lomas to create and catalog words with favorable traits to sisu with no exact equivalency in English. As a result, the lexicography now contains words that are comparable to sisu. The article noted, Sisu is similar to what an American might call perseverance or the trendier concept of grit, but it has no real equivalent in English. Furthermore, while it alluded to the fact that the term described a universal human quality, it is recognized particularly well by this untranslatable term in Finnish.¹¹

This positive lexicography project was inspired by a talk by Emilia Lahti, a former student of Angela Duckworth. Her academic work focuses on the concept of sisu. Lathti first broadly defines sisu as an age-old Finnish cultural construct traditionally used to describe the ability of individuals to push through unbearable challenges¹² and notes that it has been used to describe Finnish ethnic heritage and similar concepts. Its derivation is from sisus, or the guts