Owner's Manual (Homo Sapiens): Replaces the Missing Instructions You Should Have Gotten at Birth.

By Frank Losik

Unfortunately, we human beings do not come with a ready-made Owners Manual
to guide us through our individual life journeys. So, we are left with the task of finding
or creating one of our own. This book is the result of the authors own personal search
for just such a set of guidelines. He offers it to you, the reader, as a possible starting
point for your own personal search.

Owners Manual (Homo Sapiens) is a step-by-step guide designed to help the serious
traveler on the journey of life to identify his or her life goals, to create a plan for achieving
them, and to begin putting those plans into effect. It is written in plain, every-day language
and is broken down into bite-sized, easy to digest chapters.

The book is divided into a number of segments. It begins with The Basics, which suggests
an overall life goal of personal happiness and provides a review of the underlying principles
of human development. Next comes three segments that help the reader to begin to find
the answers to three important questions:

Who am I? which uses a brief quiz game to identify the readers personality type ;
What do I want? which uses a short, fill-in-the-blanks worksheet to clarify values; and,
How can I get it? which provides a detailed blueprint to aid personal development.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Sep 8, 2015
• ISBN: 9781504933414

Frank Losik

Frank Losik has been a licensed marriage and family therapist since 1986. He is an experienced problem solver who specializes in working with clients who are temporarily overwhelmed by some sort of life crisis. He has worked with a wide variety of clients in many different settings. He began his study of counseling and psychology while working through his own personal crises of divorce, career change, custodial and noncustodial parenting, and remarriage. He strives to achieve two goals with his clients: the first is to relieve their current pain and suffering, and the second is to empower them to develop the skills to resolve future problems on their own.

Book preview

Owner’s

Manual

(Homo Sapiens)

by Frank Losik

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AuthorHouse™

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: [phone]

© 2015 Frank Losik. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse   09/04/2015

ISBN: 978-1-5049-3340-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5049-3341-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015914032

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

The Basics

Preface

On Being Human

Desiderata

Your Life Goal

Happiness

Your Dream

Balance of Oppositions

Centers of Awareness

Your perceptual filter system

Learning

The force is with you!

Both sides of the coin!

Three qualities to assist you!

Who Am I?

Type Game

What Do I Want?

Values Work Sheet

How Can I Get It?

Inventory

Starting Point

Baby-Stepping with the 5 P’s

What Gets in the Way!

Owning your assumptions

Why don’t you use your brain?

Making it happen!

Crises of choice!

More power to you!

Accentuate the positive!

Always more than one!

Smarter not harder!

Your action tool kit!

Creating a safe place!

Type Profiles

Dedicated

to

Linda & Marianne

On Being Happy!

The fault is not in our stars, But in ourselves.

— Shakespeare, JULIUS CAESAR --

"He only earns his freedom and existence,

Who daily conquers them anew."

— Goethe, FAUST --

The Basics

Preface

Most of us spend the first 35 years or so of our lives trying to establish ourselves in some sort of career and some sort of family situation. Lacking our own reservoir of personal experience, we have either bought into our parents’ values and beliefs without really being able to test them, or we have charted our course to oppose them for whatever reason. In either case, we tend to live our early lives, positively or negatively, under the unconscious control of our parents and early care-givers.

Fortunately, most of us experience an identity crisis somewhere around our 35th year on the planet. We seem to be driven to go back to complete a task that we began in adolescence. We want to become more aware of our individuality, to define our own values and beliefs, and to chart our course, consciously, for the rest of our lives.

Resolving our identity crisis requires that we withdraw ourselves, at least mentally, from the hustle and bustle of our daily lives. Our efforts are best spent searching our being for the things that give meaning to our lives, that give us a sense of direction and the will to go on. It is also useful, during this time of reflection, to take notice of the results of other people’s experiences, their recipes for success.

In this book I have set down the results of my own personal search for identity and meaning. My journey led me into the formal study of counseling and psychology and, then, into a career as a Marriage & Family Therapist. It helped me to recognize and to accept my individuality with all of its strengths and its short-comings. I learned how to use my strengths in appropriate situations, how not to over-use them, and how to develop new skills to over-come my short-comings.

I offer you the results of my experience as a starting point for you to work out your own answers to guide you in your own search for meaning and happiness.

On Being Human

The best way to begin the task of creating a Happy Life for yourself is to take a look at what it’s like to be a Human Being. That’s not as easy as it sounds. Our concept of humanity is clouded by many conflicting messages. Many people are bitter, disillusioned and confused. They have developed negative attitudes toward life, and they pass their pessimistic messages on to everyone with whom they come in contact. Too often our traditional philosophies and religions are no antidote for this kind of thinking. They tend to reinforce the idea of the individual as being depraved, unworthy of love, and incapable of changing on his or her own.

The philosophical point of view that human beings are inherently valuable, lovable, and capable is a relatively new concept. It is the product of modern Western thought, nurtured by the rise of intellectual freedom and the prosperity that came from the industrial revolution. Various modern thinkers have given us insights to help us understand our basic drives, as well as our motivations, goals, and the hierarchy of our personal and interpersonal needs. Each has focused on only a piece of the puzzle.

Our task is to take from each what is meaningful and to blend it with the insights of ancient wisdom to form a useful guide for living. In this book modern thinking is blended with ancient teachings to create the basis for just such a Practical Philosophy of Life. But, as we shall see, knowledge is not enough. We must also put our ideas into action. Only then can we create a truly Happy Life!

The best example that I have found of a concise, yet amazingly complete, guide to personal development is a 17th century anonymous tract entitled, Desiderata. That’s Latin for that which is to be desired. It is presented on the following pages for your perusal. The remainder of this text draws liberally on the concepts expressed in the Desiderata to provide a more detailed outline to follow.

Desiderata

GO placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their stories.

AVOID loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as you plans.

KEEP interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many people strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

BE yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

TAKE kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

YOU are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

THEREFORE, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

WITH all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy!

— Anonymous —

Found in a 17th century New England Church

Your Life Goal

The only goal worth pursuing for a

human being is Happiness;

and you have to work at it to get it!

How To Get It

Happiness

BACKGROUND

Maxwell Maltz, the author of Psycho-Cybernetics, tells us that man is by nature a goal-striving being. He further points out that creative striving for a goal that is important to us as a result of our own deep-felt needs, aspirations and talents will bring happiness, as well as success, because we will be functioning as we were meant to function. True success and true happiness not only go together but each enhances the other.

If we are by nature goal-striving beings, then it seems to make a lot more sense to strive, consciously, for a goal of our own choosing, than to be driven by unconscious forces or to live our lives out according to someone else’s idea of who we should be and what we should do. And, it also seems to make a lot more sense to strive for what we really want, instead of some lesser, more easily attainable goal. What I am suggesting is that if we want to live a happy life, then we must make happiness our conscious, over-riding aim. Nothing less will satisfy us.

And, once we have set our sights on achieving personal happiness, we are free to explore the means of achieving that precious goal. With our life goal of personal happiness firmly fixed before our mind’s eye and ever present in our consciousness, we can allow all of our energies to flow into those task that will help us to achieve our goal.

RIGHTS & DUTIES

When we speak about the rights and duties of human beings, we are accepting the point of view that we are social beings who depend on other human beings for our survival and development. We recognize that human beings, each and every one of us, come into being and act out our lives, from beginning to end, not only in the isolation of our own individuality, but also in the ebb and flow of community life. Because we are separate and distinct from one another and because no one can truly experience another’s reality, we must assert our basic personal and social needs in the form of rights and duties.

This starts with a recognition that, like all others, you are valuable, lovable and capable, that you are alone in, the sole occupant of, as well as the owner of your mind and body. And yet, you are connected in some mysterious way to the whole universe.

RIGHTS

• You may run your life at whatever speed you choose, and you may make pit-stops as often as you need for as long as you need.

• You can have whatever you want, so long as it is available or possible to create, and so long as you are willing to make the effort to get it.

• Your primary goal in life is your personal happiness.

DUTIES

• You must respect the rights and privileges of others, especially the weak and the slow-witted.

• You must bargain in good faith for the support of family, friends, and business associates.

• You must honor your commitments.

THE ROAD TO HAPPINESS

The Road to Happiness is marked by the twin guide posts of Creativity and Love. Within their boundaries lie all that is truly valuable in the Human Experiences.

CREATIVITY: Creativity means tapping into the instinctively innovative and productive parts of yourself. It is doing what your hand turns to naturally in your hobbies or in your career. It adds Zest to Life!

LOVE: Love means honoring yourself and others. It is a personal, one-on-one, kind of experience, the cornerstone of the family and of all true friendships. It adds Meaning to Life!

WISDOM OF PARADOX

The twin guide posts of creativity and love are drawn from the wisdom and experience of such diverse thinkers as Bertrand Russell and Sigmund Freud. While they both used the expression, work, they clearly meant it in the sense that we use creativity today.

The idea of personal freedom and responsibility for ourselves is what drives us to develop our individual potential. If that were all there were to life, we would all be, of necessity, completely ego-centric. But, it is not!

Early on we are confronted with a paradoxical imperative that tells us that, while we