How to Successfully Fail Your Marriage: A Scientific Explanation to Why We Divorce

By Marlon O Cole

In the United States, approximately forty to fifty percent of marriages fail. The joining of two lives into one is only the beginning of an intricate process. Keeping the love alive through all of life’s challenges can be even more difficult.

In a fascinating presentation, Marlon Cole touches on the complexities surrounding marriage and divorce while exploring scientific theories, calculating the risks that help determine the success or failure of a marriage, and asking tough questions such as why the divorce rate is so high, what are the main causes of divorce, and why it is so difficult to maintain the black nuclear family. Additionally, Cole offers insight and advice on finances, education, ways to manage the mind, and much more that could potentially save a rocky marriage and keep a family intact. Included is a list of practical dos and don’ts from a father to his daughter.

How to Successfully Fail Your Marriage reflects on marriage and divorce through scientific analogies and powerful questions that candidly explore the marital failure epidemic.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Dec 15, 2021
• ISBN: 9781664251137

Marlon O Cole

Marlon Cole is an authentic writer, poet, motivational orator, stockbroker by profession, he is a father and a man of God.

Book preview

1

The Science of Marital Failures: The Second Law of Thermodynamics

IN THE UNITED STATES, 40–50 percent of marriages end in divorce. But why do so many marriages fail? Well, let’s take a scientific hammer to nail down this marital failure epidemic.

The second law of thermodynamics states that all closed systems tend to maximize entropy. Reversing this ever-increasing tendency toward disorder requires the input of energy. Let’s decode this bit by bit.

Let’s imagine that a closed system represents your marriage. A marriage is also called wedlock; in this sense, your marriage is a closed system. How so? It’s supposed to be a union of only two people, closed off from any outside influence (for example, friends and in-laws should not be in marital business). When two people marry, they are closing a door to dating, to courting, or to any other sexual pursuits and/or partners. (It’s supposed to be this way.)

If closed systems maximize entropy—and for the purpose of this analogy, closed systems represent marriages—then we need to find out what exactly entropy is and how to combat its effects. Entropy is defined as a lack of order or the gradual decline into chaos. Another definition of entropy is that everything goes from order to disorder or chaos. In other words, things fall apart and crash.

Let’s go off the beaten path for a moment and have some internal dialogue: What? Is this scientific law telling me that when we get married, we increase the likelihood of divorce and raise the risk of introducing chaos and dysfunction into our lives? The moment we say, I do, are we unknowingly activating minuscule forces and setting into motion the erosive forces that immediately begin to corrode the framework that supports the marital institution?

This law is a natural law because we are all dying immediately after birth. Every day, we gradually age. We are all on the decline, and each day brings us one step closer to death, so this entropy law is consistent with death’s natural law.

In short, marriage, like life, must come to an end. The key, then, is this: we cannot stop the aging process, but we can slow it by the lifestyles we choose.

The second part of the law says reversing this ever-increasing tendency toward disorder requires the input of energy. The input of energy can be defined as you putting in constant work. In thermodynamics, work performed by a closed system (marriage) is the energy transferred between both parties. The science states that marriage (a closed system) needs constant work in order to slow and reverse the natural impact and effects of entropy. What does this work look like? What type of energy are we transferring between each other? In other words, are we pouring positive and constructive energy into the marital institution, or are we feeding and allowing destructive, negative energies? Do you allow others (in-laws, relatives, etc.) to infuse negative energies into your marital foundation?

Do you see how the science works?

2

You Are Marrying and Divorcing Your Spouse Simultaneously

MOST OF US DON’T REALIZE that when we marry someone, we also potentially divorce them at the same time. Why? Because of the law of polarity, which states everything is dual. That is, everything has its pair of opposites; like and unlike and up and down are of the same continuum. They’re just opposite sides, like a coin with heads and tails. According to this law, marriage and divorce are the same; they are just on the opposite ends of the spectrum. There are ever-present elements that decrease and/or increase the success of the marital union, as well as elements that present an unyielding threat to your marital bliss. The reasons you marry your spouse will be accompanied by the reasons you will divorce him or her. You can’t have up without down, left without right, or death without life. These are unerring scientific laws.

If we were tuned in—truly tapped into the higher states of awareness—we would perceive that while we are obtaining the marriage license, we are simultaneously procuring the divorce documents in some alternate universe. While you are saying, I do, in this realm, you are saying, No, I don’t, in another. You are inhaling both the pleasures and the cancer of nicotine from that same cigarette. Your drinking causes both the tipsy feelings and the kidney failure that comes in that same bottle of liquor. You are getting both the high and the neurological brain damage that comes with snorting that same cocaine.

The human mind occupies multiple states, phases, and places all at the same time, yet it is still localized to a particular area (within each individual). This is one of the many phenomena of life that some of the scientific greats have been showing us for years.

What does this phenomenon look like? you might ask. Have you ever sat at your desk or workplace cubical and daydreamed about getting off the clock and being with friends at a bar, sharing drinks and laughs, and watching and rooting for your favorite football team? Then, seconds later, you’re thinking about that vacation coming up and where you and your spouse will go. Should we lay out in Jamaica or the Cayman Islands, or should we spread out in Bora Bora with alcoholic or nonalcoholic beverages?

You fantasize about that blue-green seawater, the right amount of sunlight warming your skin, the exotic foods, the music, and so forth. Then you hear a loud voice calling your name. Suddenly, the sun disappears, and dark clouds come in. You hear a loud bang and a weird ringing sound coming from the blue-green water. You’re confused for a moment. You question who is calling your name in Bora Bora. You’re suddenly snapped back to your office-desk reality, and you realize you are being called by your boss; the loud bang was boxes of files being slammed on your desk by a coworker, and the ringing sounds were phones in the office.

This is an incredibly basic explanation of a far greater and more profound science called quantum entanglement. This is the idea that an electron can exist in two or more places simultaneously—see yourself as the electron. In the world of quantum physics, you were existing in all these various places simultaneously. While still existing at your office workspace, you visited the bar after work, drank with friends, watched the game, and lay out on a beach in Bora Bora. On a deep, emotional level, you were actually experiencing being at the bar and the beach, and you actually experienced the game. Why? Because your feelings, sensations, and submind aren’t capable of distinguishing what’s real from what’s illusion—of separating facts from fiction. While you were in the daydream state, floating around on fantasy land, on a subatomic level, you were truly experiencing each state as an actuality, yet you were localized to your physical body at your physical cubical. You had the encounter without the actual material encounter. You unknowingly entered other sublevels of life; the more intense and vivid the imagining, the deeper you will go into the supersublevels of life.

Do you see how the science works?

3

Probability of Finding the Particle: The Wave Function

FOR LEGAL AND COPYRIGHT REASONS, I cannot use quotes or names of some of the brilliant minds of scientists who have given us this profound and wondrous glimpse beyond the false veil of perceived reality. Should you not be satisfied with my explanation of the wave function, by all means, feel free to research wave function for yourself. It is a wonderful science, but I caution you that it is a brain twister.

I will oversimplify this subject; to discuss it in its natural jargon would be too perplexing, confounding, and confusing. It involves advanced calculus, and you would literally throw my book out the window at this juncture. So in overly simple terms, what is the wave function? It is a mathematical formula used in calculus to describe the probability (the likelihood) of finding a particle/electron in or at a particular area in space and time.

Using very complex formulas and applying detailed mathematics, we increase the probability of finding not only the particle but what it is doing in space and time. In short, the wave function gives you the probability of knowing everything there is to know about the particle/electron, such as its position, momentum, and spin.

Let’s define these three characteristics of the particle. Spin is the constant rotation of an object in space and time. Position defines the particle’s point in space and time. Momentum, simply put, is the continuous direction an object is going if it is not affected by external forces; it is measured by an object’s velocity and mass. OK, stay with me because even simplifying this subject can be complex.

Now you might be wondering, What does any of this scientific