Abused Love: Abuse Is Not Love, and Love Does Not Hurt!

By RoseSharon Stripling

Abuse is not love, and love doesn't hurt!

I believe that this book can be used as a powerful tool for organizations, churches, schools, police and sheriff's departments, business owners, and healthcare practitioners to provide information and education on the growing epidemic of abuse and domestic violence.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Feb 28, 2022
• ISBN: 9781637694435

RoseSharon Stripling

This book is based on the author's life story of the severe abuse that she suffered as a child and as a young adult and how she was almost successful in taking her very own life. In her book, the author states as a child, all she wanted was to be daddy's little girl.

Book preview

Disclaimer

This book is a story of the author’s life and does not intend for the information to be used as any medical advice. Although the author has every attempt tried to ensure that the information and resources in this book are correct to the best of the author’s knowledge. This book does not intend for it to be used as any medical advice for counselors, therapists, nor physicians. The author has also changed the names to protect the innocents. The author does not assume and hereby disclaims any liabilities to any party for any loss, damage, or disruptions caused by errors or omissions, result from any negligence accidents or any other cause.

Acknowledgments

To my dear husband, whom I love with all my heart, I thank God for sending you to me. You are my best friend, my coach, my support, and my biggest fan. Especially when I would cry while writing this book and feel ashamed and embarrassed, you would say that you are so immensely proud of me; I also thank you for being so patient and understanding. I remember when I was feeling low, thinking that I could not finish writing this book because of the pain of my past, and you would encourage me to keep going. For that, I am so grateful. I thank you for always being there for me.

To my darling son, Marcus: I thank you for supporting me. Even when you were going through pain yourself, you would put yourself on hold, just to encourage me. I remember you saying, Momma, little boys do grow up and become men so their mommas can lean on them. You are the best son that any mother could have, always helping someone else and putting yourself last, and for that, I am most grateful and honored to have you as my son.

To my daughter Shemaiah, whose name means Jehovah has heard. I truly thank God for you being the young lady that you are. I can tell that you are holding onto the things I taught you about not being selfish, having concern for others, and even having a big heart. I remember when we were driving, and you saw someone standing on the street corner, hungry. You had us stop, and you gave them some of your money. Shemaiah, Momma thanks you for also supporting me.

To my daughter, little Miracle, who always tries to look out for your dad and me. When you were little, you would try to mimic me. I thank you for your big smiles, big hugs, and your love. You are a joy for any mother to have. You are genuinely like an angel sent from heaven above. Momma loves you with all her heart. Daddy and I are so immensely proud of you.

Table of Contents

Preface 1

Introduction 5

Abuse Is Not Love, and Love Does Not Hurt! 9

My Earliest Years Experiencing Abuse 13

Cycles of Violence 17

Religion and Domestic Violence 25

Cycles of Abuse… 37

Teens and Youth at Risk 41

My Years as a Young Woman 45

Why Women Stay in Abusive Relationships 49

The Mindset of an Abused Woman 61

Preparing You Emotionally to Leave an Abusive Relationship 67

Developing a Plan of Action 75

What Are the Warning Signs of Domestic Violence and Abuse? 81

What Is the Risk of Being in an Abusive Relationship? 85

What Are the Harmful Effects of Abuse and Domestic Violence? 89

Are There Laws Against Domestic Violence? 93

Resources and Information about Abuse and Domestic Violence 99

Second Amended Chapters of My Book Abused Love 101

Appendix 113

Preface

I hope that people’s lives will continue to be transformed, touched, and changed from being the victim to being the victor who is not experiencing any type of abuse. This book can be helpful, informative, and resourceful for women’s groups dealing with domestic violence or abusive relationships or for anyone who has ever been abused in any way.

This book can be used as a vehicle transporting you from a life of living in bondage to a life of joy, peace, and purpose. Everywhere people’s lives—especially those who are hurting and feel hopeless or that cannot have a life of happiness—can change by informing and educating themselves in domestic violence. Perhaps you are a victim; you might feel as if you cannot start over again. Maybe you are feeling that you cannot free yourself or your children from the bondage of abuse or past issues of abuse. Maybe you are in an abusive relationship right now, or you and your children have been the victims of abuse. I want all victims to know that with counseling, your local church family, your state domestic violence agencies, and support groups, they can make it and shall overcome.

I know that it was my destiny to write this book, even though there were times when it was painful. I am honored to have been chosen for such an assignment, to be able to help and educate all those who are hurting. I feel that for greatness to be achieved, one must not be afraid to ask for help by seeking guidance and direction from God. This book will inspire you to pursue your goals and dreams and to realize that your painful experiences were just steppingstones to embrace your future. And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).

I will continue to do research concerning domestic violence. I can see why it was so important for me to write this book and complete it. There are so many hurting women and children (and some men) who are in severe pain because of abuse. I have found that there are certain people in our society who think it is so easy for women just to walk away from an abusive situation.

The Bible lets us know that wives are the wicker vessel (1 Peter 3:7). That is why they need all the strength and support that they can get. However, I have concluded that we can come out of any dilemma that has caused us pain and shame and be more than a conquer through Him that loved us (Romans 8:37). But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ (l Corinthians15:57). We can change things with the proper help of our church family and our local and state support groups. I realize that it would not be reality to ignore the fact that things will and can happen. Nevertheless, I must stay focused on what is important. If God is on my side, who can be against me? It is so important to have faith in God and yourself. There are so many people suffering today because they will not allow anyone to help them. I see this all the time. It is easy for me to identify these behavioral traits because I also have dealt with some of those issues for years. It can be exceedingly difficult to overcome being the victim of a batterer. That is why it is especially important to seek spiritual help from your local Church family or any agencies that provide the support and help you need.

It took years for me to believe that I was special and unique and that my life is worth living. In addition, no one will ever take that away from me ever again. I ask you, as you are reading this book, to always believe that you can achieve anything that you set out your heart and mind to do or be anything you want to be. So, reach for the stars. Pray and trust God. It is not going to be easy, but one thing I know for sure is that you shall make it. Just take one day at a time. I believe that everything that you lost shall and will be restored back to you a hundred times over.

It may not seem like you are gaining any ground, but please do not give up! Keep trying. Moreover, if you fall, just get back up, dust yourself off, and try again! I do not care how many times it takes. Just keep going and do not look back. I promise the best is yet to come. I know you can and will make it, and the rest of your years will be the best of your years!

Introduction

My desire is that this book will be a wake-up call for anyone who is going through any type of abuse, whether it is substance abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse, domestic violence, or physical abuse. My hope and prayer are that this book will bring awareness about abuse and domestic violence.

Our juvenile system today is running over with our youth that have committed crimes. A certain percentage can be contributed to domestic violence and abuse. We must ensure that our youth know that they are our future. Therefore, we cannot afford to stay trapped in our past of abusive relationships. It is also why we must prevent a future of abuse. Whether the abuse that you encountered was rape by a stranger or abuse by a friend, someone you trusted, or someone you knew,