It Started With A Kiss

By Stanley Sipka

The 63-year journey for Joanne and Stan was written because everyone should have the opportunity to see how Joanne spent her life helping everyone. I surprised her with an ever-so-gentle kiss on our blind date. She said she doesn’t let guys kiss her on the first date. I replied, “there is always a first time for everything.”We were married on June 28, 1958, on a beautiful sunshiney day. As the days turned to weeks to months and then years, our love grew. She didn’t want the attention, was our cheerleader for all of us and was the center of the family. Together we were a team that lived the American dream. Joanne made me what I am today a guy who loved her and misses her and will work to be with her in heaven.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Dec 12, 2021
• ISBN: 9781982277635

Stanley Sipka

Stan Sipka was Joanne’s boyfriend for two years and husband for 61 plus years. Her presence blessed his life. Jo encouraged Stan to attend Kent State University, and he obtained two degrees. His career in machining, both working and teaching, made their marriage near perfect. She encouraged him to write “Memoirs of a Shop Teacher,” and he did after her death. “Memoirs…” is about Stan and many stories about Joanne and how she helped him become what he is today. “It Started with a Kiss” is about Joanne. Stan wants the world to know what an outstanding person she was to him, our family, friends, and everyone else. She wanted to be a nurse but was not allowed because of a chemistry class. In her last 60 + years, she cared for people and realized she was a nurse without a diploma. She didn’t want attention and enjoyed our successes. She was our number one cheerleader. She is not present, but he talks to her each day and believes she is helping him until they meet again. She is in heaven, and Stan has to work at getting there to give her another kiss like the first one. He knows the details because he was her boyfriend for two years and husband for 61 years.

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Copyright © 2021 Stanley Sipka.

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

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and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-9822-7762-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-7763-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021923390

Balboa Press rev. date: 04/16/2024

Contents

Epigraph

Preface

Acknowledgments

Prologue

Introduction

How did it happen? How did Joanne and Stan fall in love?

From Hello to Goodbye?

Dating experience

a) Joanne liked two other guys

b) Stan’s few girlfriends

Our First Date

Was She Ok With Me Kissing Her? Or Not!

How Joanne and Stan’s Love lasted 61 years

Bench Seats in the Old Car versus the new Car’s and the Consoles

Joanne enters the world of work.

Liberace

Meeting Her Old Boyfriend

Buying the Ring

The Dinner at the Smorgasburg Restaurant

Visiting Joanne while in bed, not feeling well

Entering The Army

Joining the Army

The Crazy Trip Home Soon After I Arrived at Fort Belvoir

Letters

a) Letter #1 from Aug. 31, 1956

b) Letter #2 from Dec. 31,1956

c) Letter #3 from June 1, 1957

d) Letter #4 from Nov. 2, 1957

e) Letter #5 from Aug. 5, 1958

The Day I Proposed

Planning the Wedding

Drinks - Almost Going To Jail

Our Wedding on June 28, 1958

Honeymoon

My Return To The Army For Four Weeks

Joanne and Family Coming to Fort Belvoir

Joanne and Her Work

How She Spent Time

Trouble in Marriages (not our’s)

Joanne, After Working for Dr. Rogers

How She Helped Families

Out of the Service - Living at her house

Kent State University - the need for more education

KSU

Miscarriage

Joanne Is Laid Off

Christine

The House Plans

Student Teaching

Being Hired

Joanne Working Part-Time

Start The House

Moving In

Cathleen

The Early Years

Third-Year at KSU

Senior Year at Kent State

Jaycees

The Ten Years That Made Us A Family 1963 - 1973

The Trouble With Mortgage Payments

Carol

Uncle Happy

Aunt Helen

Life With The Family at 508 Southeast Ave.

Girls Going To School - David Bacon

Tallmadge Middle School and The High School

YMCA

Belly Dancing

YMCA and Swimming AAU

Joanne Will Drink A Beer

Swimming After High School

Swimming Even Today

We Purchase A New Van For Our Trip

a) Las Vegas

b) San Diego Zoo

c) Swim Team of Placencia S.T.O.P.

d) Salt Lake City

No More Vans!

Trips To Italy (1973)

Joanne’s Second Trip To Italy

Joanne Working -Tallmadge Middle School

High School in Cuyahoga Falls

Mrs. Sipka, can you help me?

My Experience With A Student Joanne Always Talked About

Wedding Anniversaries

a) First Anniversary

b) Second Anniversary

c) A Special Anniversary Dinner

d) 50th Anniversary

Life After Retirement

We Tried to Kill Each Other

Eagles at Fort Myers

Field of Dreams

Class of 1954

Slot Machines (computers)

Real Slot Machines

The IPAD for CHRISTMAS

Christmas and Other Holidays

Caplets for Christmas

Becoming Grandparents

Angela, Our Angel in Heaven

Grandma Jo’s Best Work Was For and With The 8 Grandkids

Stories from Family and Friends about Joanne

a) Mrs. Diane Kempton

b) Christine Daughter #1

c) Cathleen Daughter #2

d) Carol Daughter #3

e) Justin Spicer Grandchild #1

f) Monica Sincel Grandchild #2

g) Corey Spicer Grandchild #3

h) Joey Sincel Grandchild #4

i) Julia Sincel Grandchild #5

j) Katie Simmons Grandchild #6

k) Nicholas Spicer Grandchild #7

l) Melissa Sincel Grandchild #8

m) Mrs. Marilyn Barber Joanne’s Friend

n) Mrs. Sue Wells next door Neighbor

Comments From the Staff of Roberts at Joanne’s Retirement Party

a) Mrs. Jeanann Aikens

b) Mrs. Becky Devereaux

c) (unknown)

d) (unknown)

Joanne’s Health

Joanne’s Daily Journal

a. #1 Jan 1

b. #2 Sunday, Sept 27

c. #3 Monday, Sept 28

d. #4 Monday, (date unknown)

e. #5 Mood Inventory

f. #6 Another Example (2 pages)

Caregiver --- Mother’s Death

Joanne’s Life after Julia’s Death

88days ---- From July 18 to October 11

Schedule of Joanne’s Days in the Hospitals

Background Information

Julia Living on Seattle Street

September 22, Sunday

Close To The End

Where Did She Go?

My Million Men Goal and The Reason For The Goal

Time To Close This Adventure

Final Period

Epigraph

"I have been the Nurse I always wanted to be, after all. I guess

I don’t need a diploma on the wall to prove that"

Words Joanne said to Cathy when she was in the Hospice facility hours before she died

Mrs. Sipka, can you help me?

This was the sentence that was heard constantly by Becky Devereaux and Jeanann Aikens as Joanne did her job helping the special education students at Roberts Middle School.

I hope you haven’t changed your mind about me!

This sentence was in letters I received during my two years in the Army. I would hurry, write a letter, and send it so Joanne wouldn’t wonder how I felt. Those words made me feel good to know I had a woman who wanted me. I wrote almost daily and ensured Joanne I didn’t change my mind about her.

Stan, don’t worry, together we’ll make it work!

These types of words were typical of Joanne as we met daily challenges. She made me think I was the boss, and it worked. We were typical newlyweds wondering how we would live our lives and how long we would be together. Children? Grandchildren? Where would we live? What type of job would I have? Would Joanne have to work? These are just a few questions we answered over the 61 years. We were so engrossed in our duties as parents and spouses that the days turned into weeks, months, and years. Occasionally, we would sit, look back, and go ahead. She would ask me if I was her little boy. I would show her how much I loved her by extending my arms to the left and right and saying, this is how much I love you. I told her early in our marriage that she was like that catcher I had, who made me a successful pitcher because he knew how to call pitches. He knew my strengths and weaknesses and didn’t care if I got all the credit. There were changes in our plans regarding our daughters and parents. We begin to experience those medical conditions like – glasses, heart attacks, hip operations, cataracts, gallbladder operations, muscle loss, hearing aids, and weight gains. She, standing behind me, nodding no, convinces the Doctor to send me to the hospital just to check out this little pain in my neck that I thought was nothing. The next day, I had a stent placed in my heart.

Preface

This book is necessary to tell the world what an outstanding person Joanne Christine (Braghieri) Sipka was during the 83 years she lived. She was my loving wife and partner from the first day of our marriage, June 28, 1958, to October 11, 2019. Our blind date, with my quick kiss at the end of the date, led to 2 years of dating and 61 years of marriage. I, like most men, felt I would die first and worked to make Joanne’s existence financially sound. We moved in with Joanne’s mom in 2002 because Joanne worried about her mom at age 91. After Joanne’s mom died in 2015, we became a couple again. Our advanced age limited our activities, and different medical problems arrived: hip and knee problems and the need for canes and walkers. Joanne worried about her blood counts and her medicines and was anxious and concerned about her diabetic condition. Jo didn’t take insulin but was afraid of diabetes. She visited medical personnel who prescribed medicine that controlled her life. There was a constant battle to arrive at the correct dose of the mind-altering medication. There was a chart of when and what pills to take daily. She took her blood every morning and worried when her number was over an acceptable number. There were times when I would prick the finger, tip the little blade into the blood, and tell her the number. I would say it’s under or over. I would say it’s OK a couple of times when it was just over the number.

Joanne’s passing is hard to imagine. At a couple of bereavement sessions for men, I heard stories, looked at the men, and saw me in their grief. One man mentioned he could not enter their bedroom; he slept on the floor next to the couch she slept on for many months, sick with cancer unable to go upstairs to their bedroom. I could stay in our bedroom after telling myself that’s what Joanne wanted me to do. I had to keep the family together to get through this upsetting event. What would I ask Joanne to do if I had died? For me, October 11 will be a quiet day with a visit to the cemetery. November 2, her birthday could be different this year. The family might plan something, and that’s fine with me.

Returning from visiting a funeral home to pay respects for one of our friends’ showing, we talked about what would each of us do if the other died. We joked about, Would you let your new husband use my golf clubs? her answer would be, No, he’s left-handed! or would you let your new wife use my Ipad? No, she has her own!

My world is turned upside down, and I must continue for my family’s sake. I feel responsible for them. Please help me, Joanne!

Acknowledgments

To my family and friends for their encouragement to continue this project.

My daughters and grandchildren and Joanne’s Sister, Diane, helped by writing, reading, and making suggestions, adding their Tributes to Joanne – Mother and Grandmother.

A special thanks to Julia Sincel, my granddaughter, who helped combine the text with the documents.

A special thanks to Mrs. Sue Wells, neighbor, for her advice, suggestions, and article

To the Roberts Middle School staff and students for acknowledging Joanne’s work as an aid in their program.

To Joanne’s friends, Phyllis Falkenstein and Marilyn Barber

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Prologue

TRIBUTE TO JOANNE

Joanne C. Sipka, My Wife of 61 Years

Everything I have is the result of meeting Joanne on a blind date in the spring of 1955. My first thrill was seeing her as she opened the door to greet me and Steve, who arranged the date. Silently, I said, Wow! She’s pretty!. We played miniature golf and did not care what our scores were. As the night ended, I walked her into her house, leaned over, and kissed her. I backed away, looked at her, and she said, I don’t let guys kiss me on the first date. I replied, there’s always a first time for everything!. That was not the last kiss.

She attended Akron University and then worked for a doctor. We talked about marriage, but I had a six-year military obligation. I volunteered for the draft because we didn’t want to be married and separated. We married on a beautiful, sunshiny day on June 28, 1958. I completed my Army responsibility, and we lived with her parents. She encouraged me to obtain more education, even though I attended Hower Vocational High School and lacked confidence in my academic background. She worked long hours while I attended Kent State University, and I worked part-time. In 1961, Joanne gave birth to Christine, Cathleen in 1963, and Carol in 1965. She had difficult and painful pregnancies, but after, she enjoyed happiness with her three beautiful daughters.

She enjoyed watching her daughters and grandchildren in sporting events and school activities, and in later years, encouraged me to return to playing baseball with the old bad news bears,

Her most rewarding accomplishment was she and I moved in with her mother after her dad died. Joanne mothered her mother and allowed her mother to enjoy life to the age of 103.

Joanne was always concerned about me, the three daughters, eight grandkids, and everyone else. All of us are who we are because of her.

Thank You, Joanne; I want to see you again and give you a kiss like the first one.

THERE SHOULD BE 2 PARTS TO THIS STORY. THE MAIN PART IS ABOUT JOANNE AND WHAT A GREAT PERSON SHE WAS TO ME, OUR DAUGHTERS, GRANDKIDS, FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND EVERYONE ELSE.

THE SECOND PART IS A WARNING ABOUT THE DEPRESSION, PANIC ATTACKS, AND THE MEDICINES PEOPLE TAKE TO OVERCOME WHAT JOANNE HAD. IT’S LIKE A WARNING TO OTHERS TO TAKE THOSE FAMILY MEMBERS’ CONDITIONS SERIOUSLY AND WORK ON CORRECTING THOSE CONDITIONS. DON’T WAIT UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE. IT IS NOT EASY.

Introduction

Christine, Cathleen, Carol, and I walk down the hallway and enter a room with a single bed. There are few items of furniture. The one recliner chair was used by Cathy, who stayed all night. We walk to the bed and see Joanne breathing without devices assisting her. We greet her, kiss her, express our love, and each offers one hand to hold her hand. The five of us held hands and recited the Our Father together for the last time. I don’t remember if anything was said; I was quiet. We wanted to take her home even now; I thought she would awake and return home. Her breathing was exciting to me. There was that normal rhythm, but it paused, and we all stared at her. The breathing continued, and we relaxed but stopped again. I kept saying silently, keep going! but it ended. We all cried and wanted her back; I wanted to go with her but couldn’t. I went to a chair, sat, and thought this was a bad dream, and I would awake and see her next to me in bed. It was not a bad dream. That was October 11, 2019, at 1:30 in the afternoon. Joanne died.

What Now?

Joanne was in the hospital and other facilities for 88 days. I thought she would return home for the first 86 days. The last two days were a nightmare. My mind was thinking about what now? Who is going to help me make decisions? I felt alone. Yes, I had three daughters, eight grandkids, and other family members, but I was alone.

The first month, I was too busy to grieve because my daughters and I were responsible for handling the funeral and the numerous things related to the funeral. I realized what a wife has to go through when her husband dies, and I felt sorry for every woman who has that job. My daughters had a metal made with her fingerprint on one side and Joanne’s handwritten name on the backside. The metal was fastened on a chain, and each grandchild wore it at the funeral.

Keeping busy was first on my bucket list because working on these tasks would make me tired and fall asleep faster. I had been working on a book about my teaching and was in no hurry to finish. Joanne would tell me to get it done because she would not complete the work if I died, and all my work