Broken Since Birth!: A Reality Check on Your Relationships; Recognising, Identifying and Understanding the Destructive Behaviour Patterns of the Unconscious Mind, Turning Your Relationships Around and Understanding How Relationships Become Violent.

By GEOFFREY PECKITT

We have a ‘Relationship’ with each person we interact with each day on a Personal Basis. Be it at Work, in a Business, Social situation, at the Store Checkout, or at home in our Close Personal life.
And for their success each of our relationships depend on our ‘Self Perception’, and whether we unconsciously perceive ourselves to be Acceptable, Loveable and Worthwhile to the person we are relating to at any given point in time.
This book is a product of the Authors personal life Journey, the personal courses and studies he has undertaken, and all the people he has had the privilege work with along his journey. And still, there is more to learn about Human Relationships.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Nov 16, 2021
• ISBN: 9781984508737

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Copyright © 2021 by Geoffrey Peckitt.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 10/14/2021

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CONTENTS

Introduction

Foreword

The Enemy Within Each One of Us

Emotional Energy

How Did I Get This Way?

The Process of Creating Our Reality

Games that People Play on the Emotional Playing Fields of Relationships

On Being A Victim

The Issue of Domestic Violence

Breaking Through the Barrier

What Is Happening to Us All?

On the Subject of Bullying

Relationships

E-Motion = Energy in Motion

Decoding Behaviour

Why is it I Never Felt this Way Until You Came Along

Is There A Way to Fix It?

The Creation of Our Personal Reality. (Choice & Free Will)

Domestic Violence

Completion of the Past and Letting it Go

Creating the Perfect Partner

The Evolutionary Process

Travelling the Road to Reality

Epilogue: The Snowballs Run

A Glossary

The Lesson!

Love

The Change

About the Author

INTRODUCTION

"Whether we like to accept it or not, Life is all about Relationships, how we as a Human Being relate and interact to our personal environment, every person and animal (cats, dogs etc) we come into contact with in that environment every waking minute of our lives.

We have a relationship with or experience relating to our Parents, Partners, with our Relatives, with our Friends; with each Person we work with, get close to, socialise with or have anything to do with on a personal or Intimate Emotional level, right down to the girl or boy/man or woman on the checkout counter at the shop or supermarket and our personal pets.

And the most important Relationship we ever have; is the one we have with ourself, the person who greets us each morning in the bathroom mirror. The problem is, that this relationship we have with ourself depends on our own ‘Self Perception’, and began at the very time we began to feel conscious of our being at some later stage of the time we spent in the womb of our mother, and also how we felt about ourself at the time of our birth. We have no ability to measure the emotional stress being felt by a baby at the moment of birth, nor have we any way of knowing or mapping what the baby is feeling at that time. The one thing we can be sure of is that the baby, on its way down the birth canal is totally overloaded with ‘Sensory Input’. And, even though the baby cannot understand what is being said by all the people attending the Mother’s birthing experience, it ‘Feels’ what is being said on a very deep emotion level.

Make no mistake, the baby being born is more emotionally open and sensitive at the time of birth than it will ever be again. Its experience at the time of birth, and the type of birth it is subjected to, leaves a lasting and painful imprint in the developing memory receptors of the infant’s brain. Just because you cannot remember your experience of birth does not mean that you did not experience any pain, its just that the immature brain became overloaded with sensory information and went into a state of momentary shutdown as the birth progressed. There will be, I believe, many people who suffer with a form of ‘Post Birth Traumatic Stress’ without knowing where their emotional issues stem from. This stress remains locked into the developing memory banks of the rapidly growing baby, and very quickly becomes unreachable under normal circumstances, and it is this issue which affects our ability to relate to ourselves and others throughout our lives on a conscious level of awareness.

All other relationships flow from this damaged relationship with ourself, and thus; if our relationship with our self is not as it should be, then as a matter of course; no other relationship in our life will be as we want it to be, because our later Marital and Close Personal relationships will not be based on mutual Love and Acceptance, they will be based on Need, and become Unstable Co-Dependant Partnerships which can and do subsequently become abusive and or violent when it is perceived that those needs are not being met, ignored, disregarded or derided.

The most important lessons we must learn in our life are those of ‘Self-Acceptance and Personal Responsibility’; Acceptance of Our Self as we are, warts and all. And responsibility for all our actions and behaviour.

If these two lessons are not learned early in our lives, we will spend most of our lives seeking that acceptance from others, whilst placing the responsibility and blame on them for all of the hurt that we are feeling, and denying all and everything that we ourselves have created. Being or feeling emotionally hurt is an internal decision ‘We’ make based on how we ‘Receive’ another’s communication or behavioural reactions to us at any time.

In our relationships with the people around us, it is our behaviour towards them which they react to, creating their behaviour towards us which we react to. When those behaviours are based in unfulfilled needs, rather than self-love, then the only result will be the generation of disappointment and resentment, and when that disappointment and resentment is never dealt with, resolved and let go of, then the only result will be the resentfully abusive or violent termination of the relationship by one or both participants in the relationship.

Through this book, I have attempted to take you the reader on a personal journey to look at your own relationship with yourself and concurrently with all your personal life relationships, so that a greater awareness of your present life circumstances may be ultimately reached. Allowing you to have an understanding of the reasons and unconscious promptings which have created your present perceptions of reality.

Geoffrey Peckitt.

Realisations are always personal, and the best ones are always deeply profound in nature

Geoffrey Peckitt. 1990.

As human beings, we perceive through what we hear, what we feel and what we see, this is hard fact; however, ‘what’ we perceive is not a fact of the same kind, because we ‘learn’ what to perceive through parental conditioning and our own personal experiences, based on our own self perceptions and ideas about ourselves, and our feelings of ‘Self-Worth’ or ‘Self-Distain’. And, the more ‘Aware’ we become; what we perceive, and the way we perceive it changes greatly.

Geoffrey Peckitt. 1990.

FOREWORD

Relationships are, and always will be difficult experiences, as they are inextricably linked and attached sub-consciously to our ideas about ourselves, and any of our unresolved childhood relationship issues with our Parents and any siblings, together with our sub-consciously remembered feelings and thoughts about our experience of birth and what happened to us immediately afterwards, which get unconsciously transferred and projected onto our later relationships with Partners, Workmates and Friends, often with disastrous results.

As human beings, we generally believe that all our behaviour and experiences are due to; and created by our ‘Conscious’ awareness and thought patterns. However, in reality we all operate from at least three levels of awareness. At the moment we are born, we are operating on a level of consciousness that’s main job is to get whatever we need to remain alive, survive the process of birth, and the first days of our lives. And what we need at this time is food and, loving and gentle touch, which under normal circumstances would all be supplied during the process of breast feeding, and if it is not supplied in this way what then? What thoughts and feelings might be constructed within the primal mind and body of the new-born baby from the deprivation of one of the most natural processes of human reproduction, the first nourishing contact with the body of the babies Creator, its Mother?

There are a number of therapeutic processes which can allow a human being to get in touch with how they felt at, and just after the moment of birth; an emotionally invasive process itself, which can leave the new baby dealing with insurmountable sub-consciously anchored physical and emotional feelings and memories for the rest of its life. We see children with a myriad of emotional and developmental problems, and find it hard to link these with the mentality and problems of the Parents at the time of the conception, the life and attitudes of the Mother during the pregnancy, and the actual timing and process of birth, which if we are truthful with ourselves, is where the life and mentality of the baby begins, as it is at this point in time that the baby will be the most emotionally open and emotionally receptive that it will ever be.

At the time of birth, the new born baby has no ability to reason out what is happening to, and around it; and its understanding of what it is experiencing comes through its sensory messages only; does it feel comfortable or uncomfortable? Is it pleasurable or painful, life sustaining or life threatening? Is the body stressed/Tense, or is it relaxed?

It is at this level, very early in the baby’s life that its ideas about itself are formed through the intense level of sensory input experienced on that very deep level of awareness. All Life sustaining, pleasurable and comfortable feelings are accepted and integrated within the newly formed portions of the brain, and do not create any conflict or problems for the baby. However; anything felt, which is assessed as being Life threatening, stressful or uncomfortable, and cannot be dealt with at the time, is stored away and ‘Gated’ out of consciousness by the brains own self survival process, and life goes on, the everyday unconscious fight for survival goes on, without us consciously knowing anything about it, it just happens.

We need food to sustain our life energy and to help us grow, and loving touch to allow us to feel accepted and loved. This primal or first level of consciousness then, deals with all non-verbal body functions, the growth of the body organism, development of all the internal organs, and functional development, as well as all instinctive behavioural responses like suckling and crying to get attention and fulfilment of the baby’s needs.

Not long after the birth, as the baby begins to grow and develop, there is a maturation takes place in the constant development of the brain, and with this maturation and development the second level of consciousness or awareness begins to take over the thought processes within the baby’s behaviour, and the baby begins to relate what is happening within itself to what is happening on the outside. Its survival has also now ramped up to a new level, as it begins to become ‘aware’ of what it needs to do to remain alive. This level of consciousness begins to relate what is happening in ‘Outside Circumstances’ to what it is ‘Feeling’ on the inside. The first or Primal level of the brains maturation now becomes the developing child’s unconscious awareness.

Around about the age of two and a half to three years old, the baby will go through its last important maturation of its developing brain, at which time we see the child now beginning to develop its personality. The time that is regularly referred to as the ‘Terrible Twosies’, This maturation now heralds in the abilities of ‘Rational Thinking and Problem Solving’ and ‘Integrative Reasoning’. And this now becomes the child’s normal conscious awareness, and the second level becomes the unconscious level of awareness; with the Baby Brain, that first primal level of consciousness now relegated to being what is known as the virtually unreachable ‘Sub-Conscious’ level of mind. Unfortunately, it is this level of memory, the sub-conscious, where our deepest and most powerful emotional memories are stored, which is why they are so hard to deal with and let go of.

Our very attitude to life itself depends on our own relationship with the person who looks back at us from the mirror, whether that mirror is a reflective piece of glass, a Husband or Wife, or a friend, everywhere we look, there ‘we’ are looking back at ourselves. And it is this first and deepest level of memory where our ideas and feelings about ourself, and whether we feel acceptable and worthy of love reside.

In every group of people we are personally involved with in our later life, whether they are our own workmates, or some committee, working group or panel, social group or sports team, we will always project on to certain members of that group any unresolved emotional issues which we have been unable, or unwilling to deal with during our life, as our sub-conscious mind, for our own sense of survival, tries to get us to deal with and let go of the old emotional issues. So within the personality reflections of the people we are close to, or the groups we associate with on any level in our life, we will find our Parent/s, our Siblings, and the reflection of anyone in our childhood who hurt or maligned us in any way, and we will react to them, or that person in the way we really needed to have done originally in our childhood.

However, what usually happens is that, through our own perception of the other person’s reactions and behaviours to our projections and behaviours around them, we usually end up creating more proof and justification through their reactions to us for how we feel about ourself. And so, we continue creating what we don’t want in our relationships, and never really understand what we are doing, because the roots of the behaviour we use to create what we get are anchored so deeply in our sub-consciousness that we hardly ever get to touch them. And we usually continue to blame the other person or people in our lives for what has happened to us, rather than accepting the responsibility for the pattern of behaviour we have used to induce the reactions from the other person, which has triggered and created the feelings within us.

Many millions of Dollars are spent each and every year on research into the ‘Medical/Physical’ causes of Cancer and other life-threatening illnesses, and it seems that most of the funding for this research is used up in the creation of more drugs, chemicals and genetically altering cures, rather than any investigation into how and why the ‘body’ as an organism, allows the illness to invade the body in the first place.

We need to accept and understand that the body organism, under the right emotional circumstances, has the ability to accept conditions and illnesses which unconsciously align with, and support the persons unconsciously held ideas and beliefs about themselves; and we need to do some research on what influences our unresolved emotional issues, and personal unconsciously held mindset, have on the illnesses and conditions we end up with in our life.

Post Birth Traumatic Stress is a condition which can result from what the baby perceives about what is happening just before and