CONFLICT RESOLUTION IN MARRIAGE: How To Quickly Resolve Marital Conflicts Without A Third Party

By William Appiah and Dorothy Appiah

The issue of misunderstanding, arguments and disagreements if not well handled, leads to anger in marriage. Anger is an emotion which is not simple to deal with. You hurt yourself and your marriage when you become held up in anger, bitterness, resentment, and revenge. In the process, you put yourself at risk and experience health problems, sleep

• Language: English
• Publisher: The House Of Change
• Release date: Apr 30, 2017
• ISBN: 9781910894439

William Appiah

William & Rev. Mrs. Dorothy Appiah are Christian Counsellors and Life Breakthrough Coaches. William and Dorothy have been counselling individuals and couples for over a decade. They do face to face counselling as well as group counselling. They also provide their services to some clients via Skype, phone, and email. They also have special skills and interests in Personal development and Relationship Coaching and are also Foccus Inc, USA, trained in marriage preparation inventory. William is an Author, Publisher and a Public Speaker on Sustainable Marriages as well as Personal Development. He is also an Infopreneur, a Communications Specialist, and a Networking expert. He obtained his B.A (Hons) degree and MSc. in Environmental Policy from the University of Ghana, Legon and University of London, UK. He also has a Graduate Diploma in Communication Studies from the School of Communications, University of Ghana.

Book preview

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all Christian couples.

So others may enjoy a happy, sustainable and fulfilled marriage.

We are grateful to God Almighty who gave us the wisdom to complete this book. Glory be to His name.

Acknowledgement

A very big thank you goes to all those who provided information and assistance while we were writing this book. Special thanks to Rev. Moses Asare, General Overseer of Praise Harvest Community Church (PHCC), London, and his lovely wife, Pastor Nana Agyemang, for their spiritual support, advice, and information.

Pastor Bernard Opoku-Preko and his lovely wife Lady Eunice of PHCC, London and Rev. Dr. Solomon Brobbey who proved beyond doubt that a friend in need is a friend indeed. For being there for us and for their encouragement.

We are very grateful to Mrs. Leslie Spurrell and Ms. Esther Adu, for their proof-reading, time and invaluable suggestions.

Stephen Agyei, our in-Law and his dear wife, Mary, our sister, for their support and encouragement.

Special thanks to Rev. Frederick William Koranteng Ayeh and his beautiful wife, Lady Mabel, First Lady of PHCC, Milton Keynes, for their support and prayers.

My brother and childhood friend, Kwesi Aboagye-Atta, and his dear wife, Patricia. For their words of encouragement, proof-reading and editing, their time and making us believe that it is possible to publish this book.

Our daughter Janet and husband Telly Afrik and the three boys, Jesse, Sean, and William, for their understanding and support.

Last, but not least, the GAP Prayer Team of PHCC-MK for their constant prayers and support

Words of wisdom

My son, give attention to my words;

Incline your ear to my sayings.

Do not let them depart from your eyes;

Keep them in the midst of your heart;

For they are life to those who find them,

And health to all their flesh.

Keep your heart with all diligence,

For out of it spring the issues of life.

Proverbs 4:20-23 (NKJV)

Introduction

The issue of misunderstanding, arguments, and disagreements if not well handled, leads to anger in the marriage. Anger is an emotion. It affects marriages negatively. Addressing the issue of anger in a marital relationship is very important. The Bible recognises that we can be angry, but, we should not sin. It is not simple to deal with anger. Therefore, when angry people are advised to get over their anger without effective counselling, management, and prevention, the anger keeps on occurring with time and sometimes gets out of control with serious effect on the marriage.

You hurt yourself and your marriage when you become held up in anger, bitterness, resentment, and revenge. In the process, you put yourself at risk and experience health problems, sleeping difficulties, depression, relationship rifts, and daily confrontation with your spouse among others. You automatically increase your stress level and decrease your enjoyment of a healthy marriage life. The longer you carry the anger, the heavier it gets and therefore affects your marriage.

This book is written among others to inform couples about the day-to-day details of life which are often ignored. It covers three very important issues i.e. misunderstanding on one hand and argument and disagreement on the other and lastly, anger. You must pay close attention to your day-to-day life and make sure you rout any little foxes that may serve to destroy the happiness and intimacy in your relation.

This book, Resolving Conflicts In Marriage, is written to inform and educate married couples about some of the characteristics of anger in the marriage, what we need to look out for and also the effects of anger in our marital relationship. It also talks about the unmet expectations which causes anger and asks important questions which are helpful in your relationship with our spouse.

This book, Resolving Conflicts in Marriage, is also written to inform married couples about the dangers of too much attention to social media to the detriment of their relationship.

The advent of social media has brought several advantages to society. It has for example improved communication. However, the downside which is subtle is that it is creating more distractions in marriages than would be expected. Couples do not have time for interpersonal communication and intimacy. The resulting effect is pushing them sometimes to have affairs due to lack of attention, intimacy, and show of love. If couples do not get intimate, do not have time to talk and listen to each other, then they will be creating problems in the relationship.

Some relationships over rely, for example, on sending text messages to the extent that, even at home, some couples prefer to send text messages to their spouses instead of talking to each other.

This book also details the effects that social media has on relationships. It also details the health effects on individuals and provides solutions.

There have been interesting stories such as men divorcing their wives through text messages and others via various instant messaging programmes. There is one which we read recently, about a man who was so annoyed about the refusal of his wife to have sex with him and the excuses that she gave. The man tabulated the excuses and published them on social media. This attracted several comments from other individuals and married couples.

The failure of individual Christians to prioritise their marriage at the expense of using social media does not help in promoting the marriage. The good book Bible encourages us to let our light shine before men so that they may see our good deeds and give glory to our Father who is in heaven. Our marriage is the only one that others may see and be encouraged to stay married. It is important for couples to give much attention to their marriage.

You don’t have to miss out on the relevance of social media in this modern age. But remember that having a happy and fulfilled marriage devoid of the distractions of social media will help sustain your relationship for a long time.

The book also brings your attention to the issue of conflict resolution in the marriage. As Christians, the Bible encourages us to resolve issues amicably. Two important facts are that; we should not let the sun go down on our anger, and the Bible also stresses on forgiveness. The Bible says in Ephesians 4:26, "Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on