All She Knew Was Pain

By Essence Love

Its a Biography about the life of a woman with many trials of the past abuse..molestation,.no dad ....teen parenting...failed relationships, rape, she knew pain but headed to victory. This is an inspirational book to reach others that have suffered the pain.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Oct 28, 2020
• ISBN: 9781665506021

Essence Love

Essence Love is a Author, Inspirational speaker, Mother, Sister, Friend, Child of God, she was born in Illinois, October 1980 prior to writing she was in the beauty industry her passion is for the people

Book preview

© 2020 Essence Love. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 10/23/2020

ISBN: 978-1-6655-0566-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-0602-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020921303

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

1 Why Am I Here

2 I’m Watching You Momma

3 What is Love

4 The Man of Her Dreams

5 Lord Do You Hear Us

6 Going Back to Kentucky

7 Learning Life

8 A Single Teen Mom

9 A Strippers World

10 This Must Be A Blessing

11 It’s Just Abuse

12 Loving Myself

13 Back to My Ky Home

14 The Secrets He Kept

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This Books is dedicated to my Lord and saviour Jesus Christ, and my Son and Daughter

This is to every person who impacted my life, rather positive or negative.

In Life, I have been tested (sometimes failing) and been through struggle after struggle most times, I didn’t deserve.

I celebrate today because I know my past is a testimony and my right now is a blessing.

To all I say live as if you have never lived, and love as is you’ve never been hurt. Do not let your past predict your future, never settle for anything other than your best, remembering life’s a journey its not always easy but its worth it, And live like you have a heaven or hell to inherit.

You may wonder who is Essence Love, and why should I read about her life? Why should I care?

Actually I have asked myself the same questions so many times before. Will they judge me? will they understand? Will they consider the message between the pages? I believe God will open your heart, eyes and minds also. My prayer is that this story being told will set some man, or woman free. I believe you will see yourself in the pages of this story, and realize if she can make it I can too.

This is my chance to expose the ugly truth in our closets that we hide in our heart.

I am going to tell you things I was ashamed of most of my life, and afraid to live each day.

I will speak of smiles, and tears, times of courage and times of fears. My friends this is a tribute to all the people who have went through, anything that almost stopped them from becoming who they were meant to be!

I wrote this for the many boys and girls who suffer at the hands of those who they were supposed to trust, For the child who thinks it’s their fault, I want to let them know its not your fault (please do not! take the blame me person who violated you was wrong). My main purpose is to give someone the courage to come forward, and deal with the issues, and demons of their past so that they may have a greater future.

I also am telling my story to let you know we all have habits that we could do better with, I want you to know that we are not perfect, so therefore we should not judge others we are just imperfect people, striving to follow a perfect God.

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Why Am I Here

Thank you for coming along the journey inside my 40 year closet.

Brace yourself and open your minds!!

I will go back as far as i can remember, I mean the places I have’nt blocked from my mind.

As a child being around 3 years old i was always told how stupid, and ugly i was (Its amazing what we remeber i dont have a bunch of great day memories, the traggic, hurtful things I remember as if it were yesterday) I was always being hit for no reason, and called ugly names.

I was reminded daily how black and ugly and stupid I was. (i thought stupid ass was normal to be called).

My mother and father were still together. (To this day i do not know if hes my biological father) However she would run around on him, he was in his 20’s and immature. so he would beat her when he felt the need to keep her in line he said. he had plenty of women, im assuming this had reason to do with why she disliked me.

I grew up seeing her be treated this way by men. I could not understand, why, she still wanted to be with him?

I hated all the arguments and fights. (very unhealthy for the kids)

I believe, at this time i saw how a man treats a woman the last time my mother stepped out on my father was when she got preagnant with my little brother. by another man.

My momma still wanted to marry him. Afer all he had put her through they went to the courthouse to be married.

The wedding never happened before they went into the courthouse he let her know he would marry her but, if she cheated on him while married to him he’d kill her, they split up after that.

(My outlook on this is, when a relationship is so toxic should not be. there’s more damage to the woman in an abusive relationship and her chidren so leaving is necessary.

My mother moved on her own, and at this time with five children.

Things got hard for