Leading the Way: A Memoir

By Yonie Bermoy Malig-on and Soledad M. Manaay Ph.D.

Leading the way tells the true story of Yonie Malig-on, a woman born to an impoverished family whose beauty caught the eye of a man from a wealthy and influential family in their town. She fell in love with him, not knowing that she would become a victim of emotional and physical abuse. Blinded by her love, she really believed that his violent actions were nothing but expressions of love. Years later, after she had broken up with him, her uncle in Hawaii showed her photograph to a man who vowed never to marry again after his wife divorced him. But as fate had it, he was drawn to the lovely face in the picture. He traveled all the way to her hometown in Tagbilaran City in Bohol, Philippines, to meet her. They fell in love at first glance, and within a week, he proposed to her. Alas, her abusive former boyfriend would rather see her dead than married to someone else. It was a matter of luck that she survived her ordeal.

Her marriage to the man she thought was her “knight in shining armor” was fine in the beginning. Four years into the marriage, he became ill because of diabetic complications. She stayed true to their wedding vows despite her joyless marriage and the many temptations she faced being young, beautiful, and with a happy disposition. She took care of him dutifully while also acting as the sole breadwinner. Years later, while providing care for her terminally ill husband, cancer struck.

The book tells of the inspiring story of a woman whose struggles in life motivated her to become a community leader and volunteer. It also offers inspirational and valuable tips on how to have a happy and meaningful life despite life’s challenges.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Mar 9, 2020
• ISBN: 9781728350394

Yonie Bermoy Malig-on

Yonie Bermoy Malig-on is a modern-day warrior who gracefully survived the physical abuse she has received from the man she loved and the ordeal she suffered years later. Born to an impoverished family in Bohol, Philippines, she realized early on that she wanted better things in life. Despite her family’s poverty, she earned a degree of Bachelor of Science in Commerce, major in Accounting with the help of a generous aunt. Yonie suffered years of physical abuse from the man she loved. At twenty-three she married a man, twice her age, who brought her to the United States. But their joy was short-lived as he became terminally ill. While caring for her sick husband and also working full-time being the family’s sole breadwinner, she was diagnosed with cancer. She feels very lucky for being alive today to tell her story. Her hardships in life inspired Yonie to succeed in her career as Payroll Coordinator of Nordic PCL Construction, Inc., and motivated her to become a civic leader and volunteer as Vice President of Filipino Chamber of Commerce of Hawaii and Chief Operating Officer of FAMES Hawaii. In this book, she shares her fascinating story and her experience as a community advocate. She also provides tips on how to make a difference in the world, how to be happy, and how to have a meaningful life. Dr. Sol Manaay, Yonie’s friend and mentor, helped her write her story. Dr. Manaay is an International Psychologist, a published author, inspirational speaker, and organizational consultant.

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© 2020 Yonie Bermoy Malig-on. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse  03/09/2020

ISBN: 978-1-7283-5040-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-5039-4 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Acknowledgment

Introduction

Childhood Reveries

Bittersweet First Love

The End of the Road

The Real World

My Knight in Shining Armor

A Matter of Love and Death

Life with Junior

Sweet Temptations

Surviving the Big C

Community Work

Perspectives

Leading the Way

Conclusion

About the Author

This is a memoir of events, some of which happened many

years ago. Some names and characteristics have been changed,

and some of the dialogues have been recreated.

This was not intended to hurt or harm anyone.

I lovingly dedicate this book to my beloved husband, Martin

Pacatang Malig-on, Jr. (1943-2019), who expressed how

proud he was of me and my accomplishments.

In honor of my loving

parents, the late Mr. and Mrs. Mauro and Lourdes Bermoy.

Acknowledgment

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I  would like to acknowledge many people who have contributed to my story and helped make this book possible.

First in my list are Junior’s daughters and their families: His firstborn, Lynne, and her husband, John Patton, and their two children, Tara and Zack; Junior’s younger daughter, Misty and her husband, Stephane Hoffman, and their son, Gabriel. I appreciate your support when Junior was sick, and I know that your father loved you very much.

To my two sisters who are now my guardian angels in heaven, Teodomira and Necitas, I will keep your memories in my heart forever. My other sisters, Erlinda and Marcela, and brothers, Jovencio and Marcelo, you have made an impact on my development as a child and as a young adult. Thank you for being there for me.

My life is full of adventures from the very start until the present, thanks to the contribution of many individuals including Marychu Quibir, the late Angie Kudemus-Lariba, Lilith Galan Sarabia, Mercedes Opada, Corazon Cardino, David and Sally Mumar, Esther and Frances Rapadas, Lisa and Dalmacio Inting, Jr., Lily and Saturnino Sarabia, Livio Sarabia, Victoria Wallace-Sandidge, Ami and Mike Trevett, Claribel Powell, Glen Kaneshige, Ken Spence, Atty. Blake Bushnell, Joni Redick-Yundt, Rose Mendoza, Alma Caberto, Marivic Dar, Captain Gregg Patch (Navy, Retired) and Claire Patch, Amelia Casamina-Cabatu, Sarah Hosaka, Bennette Misalucha, Nancy Walch, Lilia Farinas, Vina Morales, Emie Alcain, Imelda Joaquin, Nancy Rosales-Yaplag, Tess de Jesus, Armi Farinas, Lorna Estrada, Jess Lindow, Felomina Arnegard, Ben and Guadalupe Jumawid, Angelita Jumawid, Bert Solis, Flor Calacat, Echy Lopez, Nilda Quindara, Firmo and Olivia-Solis-Dayao, Antoniete Apalisok, Lita Resabal, Mary Cordero, Stephen and Angeli Callo, Josephine Malig-on Lang Former Honolulu Mayor Peter Carlisle, Atty. Bradley Coates, Peter and Narsi Ganaban, Lito Alcantra, Jean Jeremiah, Nelly Pongco-Liu, Lourdes Garcia, Elsa Ugat Montegrande, Ching Cimafranca, Rosalinda Malalis, Charlie Ching, Mina Brinkoft, MJ Castillo, Kristian Lei, my nieces & nephews, Ann May, Dailene, Lito Jay, Francisco III, Ryan, Joseph, Jennifer, John, Josephine, Donald, Joan, Marlou, Jomar, and Cyril. I appreciate having you in my life.

I also would like to recognize Junior’s nephew, Bert Solis, and niece, Sarale Jumawid-Lii, who took care of my husband while I was away and were on Junior’s side when he breathed his last. Thank you, Bert and Sarale, for making his last days comfortable.

Last but not least, I acknowledge and thank Dr. Sol Manaay for her help in making this book a reality. She is my mentor and a very good friend who inspired me to reach for my stars. Her encouraging words helped me realize my potential and increased my self-confidence.

If I miss anyone, I apologize. Just know that you are important to me and I thank you for being a part of my life.

Introduction

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I  decided to write a book about my life because I truly feel that my story could inspire others. Inspire to act, inspire to dream, and inspire to reach for their stars. But most of all, through this book, I would like to share my experience as a community advocate and volunteer, because this aspect of my life had given me so much joy and fulfillment. I hope my story will inspire others to advocate for their community. Those who will follow my path, I guarantee, will experience the same joy and fulfillment, and will live a meaningful life, as I do.

The world today is more complicated than ever and chaotic, but we can make it a better world by doing our share. And we can start by making our immediate world, which is our community, a kind and pleasant haven for us and our family. We have the power to make changes if we incorporate kindness and understanding toward others in our daily life. Kindness is contagious and to understand is to care. If everyone has these traits, peace and grace will reign in our world.

I have survived many things including cancer and domestic abuse as a young girl looking for love. I have struggled as my husband’s caregiver while also suffering from my illness. Through these challenges, I have learned that there is always a silver lining in every cloud no matter how dark the cloud is.

My roles as a wife, family caregiver, and a career person left me feeling overwhelmed but I wouldn’t change a thing. I realized that love knows no bounds and hard work is part of love. My experience taught me it is possible to be dutiful and selfless without losing yourself and your freedom.

I am blessed to have had a husband who appreciated me and, in his deathbed, continued to profess his unwavering love for me. He also expressed gratitude for the care I provided him. He encouraged me to continue with whatever I was doing and he provided support through affirmation and positive reinforcements.

There’s so much to appreciate about life and its oddities, and that is something that I have incorporated in this book to show that anyone can navigate in this complicated world by being courageous and kind. And if nothing else, through this book, I would like to share my experience as a cancer survivor, as a family caregiver, as a volunteer, and as a community leader.

My life is an open book within my circle of friends, but as in everything else, the little details make a difference. There are aspects of my life that my friends don’t know about because I chose not to divulge. Here, I will be open and I hope that they will continue to love me for what I am.

I may not be a millionaire, or a CEO, or an inventor. But I am a multi-millionaire, maybe even a billionaire at heart, and I am the CEO of my life foundation. I also have invented many ideas, both big and small, that resulted in something meaningful. Though not profitable, the endeavor helped my life worth living. And this is what I would like to share with my readers—how to have a life worth living.

Childhood Reveries

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M y mother chose the name Leonarda for me, a name she found in the Almanac, because she thought it would suit her soon to be born youngest child. Leonarda, which was originally a German and English name, means strong like a lion. She wanted me to be strong in spirit, and in everything else. I like my name, especially when one pronounces it the Italian way, with the r rolling in the tongue. Friends call me Yonie.

I was born on November 6, 1963 to a loving and caring couple, Mauro and Lourdes Bermoy. My mother was the disciplinarian in the family. She believed in corporal punishment, not the violent kind, but the kind that made my siblings and