The Prince of Innocence: Book One

By Mary Groda-Lewis MD

An unforeseen crisis forces multiple worlds to become intertwined in a race for survival. An evil enemy challenges the World of Joy, the World of Behavior, and the World of Psyche. The realms are collapsing due to Sindar’s ability to steal health, justice, and knowledge, and he must be stopped before all existence is destroyed.

Seven people now find themselves drawn together to help regain a sense of oneness and stop Sindar’s odious intentions. Many obstacles are placed in their paths, including each other, but they must continue moving forward in the process of reestablishing their existence and saving all three worlds. To help with their journey, they are gifted with objects that connect them to their ancestors. Three intriguing fairies also join the group.

However, they cannot rely on bravery and brute force to end Sindar’s reign. No, first, these unlikely heroes must discover they cannot be fulfilled until they accept responsibility for their own behaviors, fill their lives with joy, and regain a sense of spiritual wonder. They must pursue the true essence of life and happiness and find their way back to long ago, when the Prince of Innocence was born.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Jun 15, 2018
• ISBN: 9781532044052

Mary Groda-Lewis MD

Mary Groda-Lewis, MD, is a female physician who has spent the last thirty-five years feeling the joys, sorrows, and regrets of many people as she helped bring children into this world and helped people die in her role as a doctor. She now shares some of her spiritual journey in the form of fiction.

Book preview

PRELUDE

M any years ago I lived in a small town called Del Rio, Texas. It was a place that helped me to understand social clues of isolation, such as prejudiced attitudes based on color, creed, and financial status. It haunted me for many years that what we judge to be good, to be healthy, to be right, was set up by the standards of our community, our environment and our culture. The beauty of the people and their diversity was lost by the expectations that were placed on these concept.

The town was divided into three separate communities by race: Hispanics, African-Americans, and Whites. The center of town was where the hospital, courts, schools, and recreational activities were held. You could have friends with all different races when you were in the center of town, but you were not allowed to cross territorial lines of a different community. Crossing lines were off limits. I don’t know what would happen if they had caught me crossing these culturally derived barriers. Just imagining the punishment was a scary thought which I pressed deep into my unconsciousness.

Hopefully, this book will be more than just a fantasy. It is a book about being human with all the avenues of discovery that goes along with the diagnoses of humanity: joy and frustration, anger and sadness, loneliness and isolation, exploration and solitude, differences and similarities, successes and failures, needs and desires, and friendships and enemies. Whatever your life becomes, it begins with the light, and ends with the darkness! We are granted only a limited amount of sunrises and sunsets. Many times we only see the bleakness of the night sky, instead of reaching for the stars and the light of hope.

The shadows of your life walk hand-in-hand with the shadows of your death. Each moment we make a choice to live or to die. We may not be aware of what decision we make. One moment you may be alive and vibrating with all that surrounds you. The next you may be facing despair and loneliness, as the champions of your life. Vibrating, and thrilling, one moment – and the next you question, why? Why am I here? Am I doing something special, or am I just a drop in the bucket of nothingness? No one can tell you what life means for you. No one can live your life. This is a gift for you alone.

Hopefully, the characters in this book will help you look deeper into yourself – to see who you are. So many times we concentrate on others, forgetting to look at ourselves with open eyes of understanding. We look at the behaviors of others, but forget to look at our own behavior. We scrutinize others, but forget to scrutinize ourselves. Those that care for themselves, and others, will look deeply into how their behavior affects others and themselves. They are the ones who define the essence of being.

One day fades into another and we look back. We do not really understand where we have traveled. We forget to take time to see, touch, feel, smell, and linger with the fragrances of life! We get glimpses of our past. We hope for the future and forget to live in the moment. To be honest, this is the only time we really have. This moment with all its energy and feelings. This is where we need to be. It is not easy to be in the moment, for this moment will never exist again. How am I going to shape this moment? How am I going to be?

How do we separate the many aspects of our lives, so we can be the ones we love, and still be present for the ones we honored; to have come into our lives through work, play, and through spiritual acts of growth? I am committed to being in the moment - to be all that can be for the person in front of me. Sometimes the winds of time can blow gently across our world; at other times powerful forces blow us down. It is our reactions to those changing tides that define the experience. One person’s perception might be the way; another may see it differently.

Our perceptions are not immobile. They change with the changing times. One moment our perception can be one way, and in the next moment the complete opposite. I do realize that we are influenced by the environment, our prior experience, and the people in our lives. Our religious beliefs can add or take away from us. We all have some philosophy that forms our lives. My greatest gift is life itself. I pray this book allows you the chance to consider what you would do if you were in their world.

CHAPTER ONE

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I can’t believe your excitement! It’s strange to think you have such a sense of wonder about this and consider it a gift; many consider it a curse! I just don’t understand you at times, Chantelle said as she smiled. Heavenlee knew that Chantelle was speaking the truth. She was very aware of the fears of people and the apprehensions they face. Yet, she knew this was more of a gift than she could ever express. For her, it was life itself. It was part of the core of her being, the expression of her soul, her sensitivity, her traumas and hurts, her joy, her sorrow. It helped her rise in the morning to greet a new day and helped fall asleep at night. It was with her in her dreams and in her daily chores. Maybe, just maybe, it was her. Heavenlee appreciated what Chantelle said was true. Life is a mystery and each person has their own destiny, their own road to travel. Sometimes, just sometimes, these roads cross forming a new path, a new awakening, a new beginning. Yet sometimes, it is just a tip of the hat and on you go.

It had been a long and trying day. Lately the days seemed to be more wearisome. In spite of this, people seemed amazed at the amount of energy generated by Heavenlee. She was involved in life. She was into life. She could not comprehend not being aware of her world; the smallest change that was present each day was a journey of discovery. Each new day was but another beginning for her. She really did exhaust most people.

Chantelle on the other hand was an observer of life; just an ordinary person involved in the ordinary activity of living. This was, at least; what she believed. Time and events would hopefully teach her this was built on false perceptions. She was more like Heavenlee than she knew.

Heavenlee smiled out of the corner of her mouth. She knew people were afraid of the things they did not understand and frightened by those who possessed special ability. She was aware that she stood apart from most people but this did not bother her. She knew people liked certainty but the spirit of life was far from definite. She had the ability to see so much of the world, both the past and the present; she was driven by a desire for change, connected to this desire. She had a drive, a burning need to understand all aspects of life and be involved. Others seemed to toy with only one side or another in their view of the world. Something burned deeply burned in her spirit and she knew that she would have to follow this and see it to the end, whatever this might be.

Chantelle was her close companion for many years. However, there was a distance between them - a world in fact. Just thinking the two of them could, or would, call themselves friends was strange in and of itself.

They were walking down the main street of Middle World. It was the Season of the Water. The avenues were paved in brass and reflected the play of the water and clouds on their polished surfaces. Shadows formed mysterious shapes in the sky for those with imagination, one shape giving way to another. Heavenlee bubbled because she could see so many different shapes in the clouds, shapes that escaped in the blink of the eye. For Heavenlee, imagination was just the tickle of life, yielding so much to enjoy.

A cool breeze touched with a delicate mist penetrated and perfumed the air. The air was fresh with a sense of the breathtaking attentiveness to the day. It was an inspiring time when life bloomed everywhere. This land they knew well, for this was safe ground. This was the only place where friendship could blossom and blossom it did.

Middle World was the center of activity. It had so many buildings and the buildings were named by what occurred inside them; buildings that house books, buildings that house justice, buildings for education just to name a few. Major legislation came from this place. Life had been structured in this manner and it would stay like this, for change was not acceptable. It worked and that is what mattered. Middle World was surrounded by three individual worlds. Each of these subsets of Middle World had branches of activity similar to Middle World, although major rules were orchestrated by the power of Middle World. Each day this part of the world would be jumping with the activities of the people. Things to do, people to see and places to go. One day per week was to be quiet time, introspective time, time for quiet reflections.

In the center of Middle World was a park. The park was called Twilight Land. It seemed to always radiate light which formed great shadows dancing with the trees. There were small lakes. Trees swayed in the breeze with their reflections bending in the water. The flowers added flecks of color to the milieu. This part of Middle World seemed to exist somewhere between twilight and dark, the time where shadows cast their greatest images.

Heavenlee and Chantelle were full of contrast. Heavenly wore her curly blonde hair short, cut at angles around her chin. Her cheeks were always rosy. She was about 5’3" in height but so full of energy. She reminded people of a butterfly – here one moment and gone the next. She had greenish-blue eyes that revealed her world of imagination. Small and delicate, color and vigor were her traits. So bubbly and energetic, she would take the world by storm. The world was hers for the asking, and ask she would. For her, her mind and imagination were the greatest strength that she possessed. For others, Heavenlee was just heavenly.

Chantelle resembled a Polynesian princess. She had long dark straight black hair that lay below the shoulders. Her hair had a perfect cut and would dance in the wind. She stood 5’4 and was thin with well-developed breast. She had aqua blue eyes that seemed to see through the smallest of objects. She reflected the calmness of life. A contrast in texture and culture existed between them. It was amazing, but one could believe that Chantelle, who was always calm, was from the World of Psyche and Heavenlee, who gave off color and vigor, in the World of Joy. However, it was just the opposite. Chantelle carried herself with pride, every step was full of grace. She really did stand out amongst others although she would never have accepted this.

The Middle World was surrounded by and enclosed by the World of Joy, the World of Behavior, and the World of Psyche. Each of these worlds were unique in and of themselves. People, no matter who they were, were not allowed to enter into another world. The entryways were protected and life continued unchallenged for as long as anyone knew. No other type of world or people existed as far as they knew.

The first time they met, Chantelle was eight and Heavenlee nine. This was also the first time Chantelle ever cried. It was a strange day to say the least. It was the day her mother died as well as her birthday. She was so devastated by her mother’s strange death and she traveled to Middle World to cry, for crying was not allowed in the World of Joy. She had to find a place where no one would know her anguish and she could be alone with her memories and grief. She had never felt grief from life like this day, and sharing this was hard, if not impossible for her. She was to rejoice in her mother’s life but she could not, she just felt her absence. Aloneness and sorrow were hers and she had to suffer in her own way.

She went to the park in the center of Middle World. There were so many people enjoying the day and no one paid attention to her except for Heavenlee. Heavenlee was a people watcher. She felt she could learn by the actions of others. Heavenlee watched as she became aware of Chantelle’s suffering. Something deep inside Heavenlee moved her and she felt Chantelle needed someone to just be with her. Heavenlee walked over and without words sat down next to her and put her arms around her. Chantelle initially was startled as she looked up into the eyes of Heavenlee. She then cried more; deep sobs of sorrow and regret came flowing from her. It was a special moment for them, for the memory of this meeting still holds tight the unspoken words of love. This chance meeting had evolved into a life-long friendship. Chantelle never cried since, but the friendship had developed into a shared miracle of life.

This day sunlight hit the land, brightening the trees, every shade of green glistened. Flowers, cared for and trimmed, lined the edges of buildings; hundreds of beautiful colorful blossoms. Water colored buildings washed down with time. The air was crisp and the land was alive with motion. People were busy; exchanges of ideas, motions held tight as life made way for the continuity of existence. To some it was just another day, but for Heavenlee her thoughts embraced her spirit.

Have you ever wondered why we are here? At times I have so much passion for life and then it just fades away and I respond. These passions grow strong within me. Sometimes I am frightened by their intensity. I think there must be more than just this fading sense of reality. I know I am here for a reason but what it is I am not sure. I walk from my world into Middle World as casually as I drink from the cup of life, yet I know not really why I am. Yet the difference is clear. I am restricted from being part of your world and you are restricted from being part of my life. This does not seem fair. This is not right. Life has to have no barriers, no boundaries that isolate man. Heavenlee said with force as the words came from her heart. She wanted to see more than she was allowed. But who made these rules? Are we here just to have a child and to leave this legacy or is there more? Is all mankind held together by the stones of life? Are we not the products of the past and the hopes for the future? Or not the winds of time but a reflection of the whispering love of all? Am I the project of my ancestors or am I the object of my experiences? Does both dwell in me at the same time? Am I yet a soft spirit of tomorrow? These passions grow strong within me. I question the way we use the word my. We do not own our parents, our sisters, even our friends. We are to share this world and be part of each other and not ask as if we are the owner of anything. We are but a part. What are the passions of this world, the secrets they want to share? Are we so busy with the pretense of living that we do not see the secrets of living?

Heavenlee, I don’t think about it. I take life for what it gives me. I delight in the simple pleasures of my life. I smile and I am whole. Chantelle responded. There was a slight quivering of her lips. She seemed unease talking about the meaning of life. This vague sense of wholeness was fleeting.

Don’t you want more? Can’t you feel your life force begging for broader understanding of your existence? Doesn’t the movement of the wind, the clouds, the trees and animals cause your soul to stir? Where is the passion? What is the meaning? Heavenlee questioned. I need more. I want more. I want to fly with the birds and soar with the clouds. I want to feel the flow of energy through my body. There must be more than just the restrictions of the body. Can’t you feel the essence of life flow through you and do you not feel what is not seen? Heavenlee asked with a serious look.

You do seem to be in a rather strange mood today. What happened to bring all this out of you? Chantelle looked at her friend with a questioning look on her face.

Chantelle, after all this time, you would think you could appreciate more the world I come from just as I try to understand the world that controls you. We both let these worlds control us, instead of us controlling them. Heavenlee had more complex thoughts about life than Chantelle ever knew.

Sometimes this upset Chantelle more than she wanted to admit. She responded, That is enough, Heavenlee. You seem to want more than is acceptable. I fear you do not know where or when to stop. Someday, there will come a challenge that might tear you apart and you won’t know what to do.

Chantelle wanted so much to be able to see as Heavenlee did, but this was not part of her spirit. She looked with the eyes of joy, while Heavenlee used the spirit to see the evolving world. There had always been a question about how the three worlds came to be. Stories were passed down over time, but no one knew if they were real. The worlds as they existed formed a barrier between them: a world in fact. This always haunted Heavenlee. She had this habit of trying to convey insights by ancient stories, especially when she was in one of her strange moods.

Well, Chantelle, did you hear about the curse of the ancient winds? It goes something like this: the wind blew through the tribe with such energy that destruction followed its path. Silence followed the wind. The tribesmen were shocked by the destruction. The path it took revealed an empty world. The silence was deafening. A curse of despair was placed over the land and its people. They asked the wind if they had done something wrong to warrant such punishment. The wind whispered, This was but a small sample of my true nature. Learn to respect the gentle side of this world and care or your tribe will see and feel the force of my true ‘nature’. If they continue with their disrespect of this land then the full curse of the wind will be sent for them to feel. Silence follows a strong wind, and all that feels the wind will feel despair, for this destruction is deafening. I think we still fill the curse of the winds today and this is why we are forced to live in these bubbled worlds. I caress the wind, embrace the wind, and need to understand this land. The things we do are either respectful to this land or damage this land. The choice is ours. I feel my small existence is but a moment in the vastness of life. I want to reach out and touch more. I need to feel the passions of life coursing through my blood, yet despair seems to follow it in our failures.

Heavenlee tried to explain more about what it was like to feel despair, but Chantelle would not listen. She replied, You know it’s not true. I cannot and will not ever feel despair. I do not know what is meant by this word - it is from your world. I know you are telling me the stories to try to help me understand but you do not try to understand my World of Joy. It’s full of color and beauty. It is touched by the colors of life, by the pure love of life and the sensitivity of warmth.

Heavenlee replied, Chantelle, you are wrong. Each night I lie on the feathers and try to see the joy, try to feel the joy and experience it, but then I am forced back to my reality. I see the world as it is, as it can be, as it should be - as it must be. It has to change. We need to be able to share in the gentleness in nature, in the spirit of the whispering winds and in the softness of the fleeting clouds to capture the essence of life. We are like a shooting star in the vastness of this universe. The journey has begun and we need to take it into our souls. I believe there is more outside these bubbles. But first, these worlds need to be as one, for only then can we open ourselves to each other. I want to be part of each of the worlds. I want to be able to cross over without fear of punishment. The worlds are meant to be share.

Heavenlee stopped for a moment and thought, and reflectively said, It is as the painter, Mr. Dowson. He is a gift from God for he is the closest to the world of God. He captures the essence and is one with the essence. He tries to teach us to be one with the essence. Can’t you see the world through the eyes of the painter? He is the gentle brush of softness, the splash of color of light, the harshness of life, and the gift of pure spirit. If anything, I wish I was the painter. Things must change for us to be able to be like the painter of life.

Heavenlee, please don’t talk about change. Others might hear you. I fear what would happen if your words were overheard. You know changes are not allowed; that the traditions of all three worlds must stand undisturbed. Heavenlee, why is it so hard for you to see yourself as you are? Instead you dream of things that are not possible, things that do not bring reliability to life. Stop this before someone turned you in and you are sheltered away for life! Chantelle then softly said, I would miss you.

Heavenlee firmly replied, I know you are concerned but I do not care. I do not understand these traditions we are forced to live by. They are from the ancient tribes of each of the worlds. Our world is unique just as you are unique. I am only a representation of the ground, this stone, the flower, the trees, the water, and the sky. I am a mixture of life and life is a mixture of me. See Chantelle, you can feel fear. If pressed, I bet you could feel despair. You need to be able to accept all the emotions that are part of your life for life to be part of you. Emotions are not good or bad, they just are.

Annoyance came over Chantelle, but as fast as it came it fleeted away. She felt ashamed because of this emotion. This was not allowed in her world. She had to turn and flee from these emotions to be strong for her world. She knew her existence was modified by the world she lived in, that joy was to be her emotion, the only emotion. Sometimes, the moment she would spend in Middle World was but a rebound of some former world alien to her. She tried to understand but many times felt confused by the conflict of Middle World and the World of Joy. If she thought too much she would be lost, and this was frightening for her. Chantelle walked in the silence of fear since the death of her mother. Unspoken fear of the unknowing and the unshared. She turned to Heavenlee and said, Hopefully tomorrow you will not be filled with such incongruity. You have been strange for the last couple of days! I am concerned you might let it become you; and I would really miss your spontaneous bubble of life. Please listen to the traditions of your world because this will help you to fight off this strangeness. Heavenlee, I know you seek more, but this strangeness can destroy you. Don’t you understand this?

The day was settling into dusk and the night was just a fleeting moment away. They had to return to their own worlds. The two girls had approached the entry gates to their own worlds. With a smile and a wave they turned and entered into their own worlds. Heavenlee wanted to reach out and hold Chantelle close to her heart, to reassure her that strangeness was not taking hold of her, but she could not; she was not sure of this fact. Sometimes the strangeness was her. She needed to be close to Chantelle for Chantelle was her other half, her other awareness. Heavenlee understood this but this was foreign to Chantelle. Heavenlee had shared more of herself with Chantelle than anyone else, except maybe with Jade.

Heavenlee wondered why they could talk only in Middle World. It was safe to talk to each other there; but it was not safe to acknowledge the deep friendship. What was friendship anyway? Their friendship was alien to the hearts of each world. This thought was difficult for her to conceive and accept. Deep friendship should be allowed to be expressed without fear of desertion. Friendship holds people together, helps society be responsible, yet this was not part of their worlds. You can meet in Middle World, have a friendship only in Middle World, but could not share family, could not share important events, and could not acknowledge friendships outside of your own world. This was a narrow-mindedness and for Heavenlee the world was only as limited as the space allowed. Heavenlee felt her friendship with both Jade and Chantelle was one of the most important aspects of her life. She really cared for them both. She could not picture life without them, not being able to see them daily, but where was Jade today? As she thought of Jade and Chantelle she seemed to fade into another place.

Her feet were on the ground, her head in the clouds and her body somewhere between the past and the future. Her current environment seemed to be indistinct as her spirit became part of her thoughts. She could see the future was full of sadness. She saw the faces of her mother and father. There was hurt written on each one. She felt she was responsible. She could change, but she was not sure she should. For Heavenlee, change was a moment of creativity allowing the spirit to soar high so, why did the thought of change at this moment frighten her? High on life, high on love, and high was what she wanted, what she needed. This high had to be natural, not forced or made by any means other than by herself. She knew that some tried drugs but this was not natural. Life itself was her daily passion. The image of the sorrow from her parents was striking and alarming to say the least. She lusted for a different world, a world where all walked as one.

Chantelle was dancing through the streets of joy. She could feel the love of the land in the peace of the streets. The lay of the land was that of rolling hills covered with colorful flowers. Purplish tones blazed on green grass. There was also a yellowish hue to this world. She was always interested in different flowers. She felt flowers were a special gift from God. Flowers carried the fragrance life. She bent over to smell a flower, but she was suddenly startled and fell back. There was a large foot on the edge of the flower.

So there you are again. Stopping to smell the flowers. It was her father’s voice. She looked up and smiled. She was always pleased to see her dad for she was close to him. He was named Busheron. He was a soft-spoken man so full of life. He was tall with broad shoulders and was well-built. His skin color was golden brown, his hair as shimmering brown with slight streakes of gray and his eyes were radiant blue. The eyes were the insight of his soul. He believed one could read the moments of each individual with a glance of the eyes; the seat of the soul. Today he seemed reminiscent

Well, I have come to see you home. You are late again. I do feel sometimes it is important to walk through life with you and to hear your adventures. I remember when you were younger, you were so concerned about crossing into and colliding with another world. Now you fade in and out as part of life itself. What have you learned about yourself? You have grown into such a beautiful young woman. The olive color of your skin highlights your blue eyes. You look so much like your mother. I wish she was here to share in the beauty of your growth.

Chantelle was surprised. Her father seldom asked her about herself and even less did he talk about her mother. He was into the sky, into the art of life; and now strangely he wanted to know more about her. She wondered what was happening. This is out of the ordinary for him. Somehow there was strangeness in him and she was concerned there might be something wrong. She knew he missed her mother but he was joyful she had lived.

Busheron would say, It is the essence that we leave behind that allows us to be more. As life revolves from day to day, it is the moments of closeness that leaves us with the memories of love. Each relationship, no matter how big or small, comes to us for some reason. We may not totally understand the reasons but this will be put together as the tapestry of life weaves its untold story.

Her father believed individual life weaves a piece of its own tapestry, and each tapestry holds onto it the threads of many others. If you were to line up the tapestries together, one would be able to see the interweaving threads forming the human experience. It is the shared experiences that remain behind after the physical death. The relationship changes its shape but does not leave. It is but a part of our own self.

She was overwhelmed by her father’s interests. Well dad, are you okay? That question is strange I’m not sure what you want? Chantelle said.

He turned to her and said, Oh my dear Chantelle Nicole, I just want you to be happy, to learn more about yourself. Always be true to your own nature. For life is given to us for only a short time and the truth is, you are who you are and I celebrate in your life. I am proud to be your father. I love you.

She was even more concern; for while she knew her father loved her, rarely did he say the words. She was taken aback by his words and his actions. She decided to wait until she got home before trying to understand what was happening between them. He had always been the strong person, one that rarely speaks about emotions, the one to rely on and now his spirit seem to be surrounded by a unique and special essence. Chantelle was not sure what to make of this change.

Chantelle, unlike Heavenlee, was only surrounded with love and joy. She sometimes wished she could feel the silence of the world as described by Heavenlee. She lived in the World of Joy. Her bed was a shower of daisies. Rarely was there rain and never snow -just a summer sprinkle of warm teardrops. Just the warmth of the sun, the sight of the evening dew, and the sounds of the night were the life in the World of Joy. Life was full and rewarding. She could be one with the animals and with creation. She was always pleased by being awakened by the music of the birds.

Chantelle wondered if there would ever be a special person in her life. She wanted to share herself with another just like her mother and father. She wanted so much to cook for another, to clean for another, and to feel the joy in the presence of another. She knew this would be the ultimate joy, or at least, that was what she was led to believe. She would give herself totally to another human and in doing so become part of that life; giving herself to another, losing herself in another. She stopped for a moment and thought about Heavenlee. She knew if she told Heavenlee what she was thinking, Heavenlee would not be pleased, and would argue that life was for sharing and you could not give up your own identity to another. Heavenlee believe that you need to be interdependent with a loving relationship, not totally dependent. She wondered why she felt so close to Heavenlee. They were so different. Was it because she was given the gift of insight that held them together? Chantelle was not sure but there was something so strong that existed between them. Chantelle smiled to herself. She remembered her friend’s description of the unicorn.

Heavenlee would say that the unicorn is unique and priceless. He is the master of mystery. He preserves the peace. Each person has a part of the unicorn in their spirit. The road you travel is special and needed, for the unicorn walks beside you and helps you. Chantelle felt she would someday walk with the spirit of the unicorn; but for now she would walk with the gentle wind. Joy was her destiny and peace it would bring.

The sunset was coming over the mountain range. This particular night there was a brilliant pink and purple sky accompanying the setting sun. It was a perfect picture painted for her to admire. Chantelle chuckled - she could see in her mind’s eye the painter touching the canvas with color and the color was her spirit. She was moved by this moment. She wondered if Jade was watching the sun and if the sun was bright in his world. She felt close to him, knowing this would be a real problem if she let her emotions become a reality. She knew Heavenlee was also close to him. He was so unusual. He stood strong in his beliefs. He lived in the World of Behavior. His skin was dark and he had dark eyes. Those eyes could penetrate deeply. He was soft-spoken and always in control of himself. He had come to them by accident. Many years ago when they were young and playful, Chantelle and Heavenlee were talking as they walked into Java Joe’s for a cup of chocolate. He was there getting a cup of Java. Heavenlee turned quickly and spilled chocolate on him - and all over his new shirt. He dropped his drink. He stood there stunned and stern but no words were said. Heavenlee took a towel and tried to clean him up and in doing so just spread the chocolate more onto his shirt. He did not say much but just grumbled. Because of her persistence, he reluctantly joined them. Heavenlee had purchased him another cup of Java. Initially Jade was stern and critical of the small things of life. Heavenlee once told him, Lighten up boy. If the small things in life leave you so devastated then what will happen to you with the big things? Will you crumble under the weight? This was the beginning of a long friendship. As time went by, Jade did change and now the little things just rolled off his shoulders. Time does change people as they grow, Chantelle thought. She wondered if there could really be more.

She wondered if Heavenlee, too, was watching the sunset. Was it different in her world? She wished she was able, just once, to see the world through Heavenlee’s sight. She imagined Heavenlee, Jade and herself running through the field of daisies holding onto each other’s spirit. She could imagine, and no one could stop this. The setting sun gave way to the night. The crispness of the evening was fed by the humming of the crickets and the babbling of the creek outside her home. Chantelle had dinner with her father, did the dishes and just watched him. Busheron was so mystical this night that Chantelle just wanted to watch. He talked to her about life and liberty but she just could not seem to be in the same space and time as he was. Her mind was elsewhere. She listened for a while and then told her father she was turning in, for she was tired. She thought the change in her father was because of the upcoming event. Chantelle made preparation for the next evening, for this was going to be special. Eyes closed, with a soft smile she laid her thin, short body and her long dark hair on a bed of daisies and fell asleep thinking about her father. What an unusual mood he was in today! She felt he was just anxious about tomorrow for tomorrow she would be 16 and she would be human.

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Heavenlee was pulled between the earth and the sky. It was not known to many that she was a psychic and had the ability to see into the future. She was able to see the world before it opened its arms to the day. Some of the people that knew this about Heavenlee were afraid of her, for she knew they did not try to understand her. They were concerned that she would try to change the normal events of life. She was strong-willed and this was frightening to them also. She knew she did have the power to see into the spirit, had the insight to change things and the ability to hear the cries of the night. It was the cries of the night, the cries from so many souls - that caused her to be uneasy today. Indeed, she was in the strange mood today because last night she walked with the dead. The dead were calling to her. Now she was seeing the continued collapse of each of the three worlds. She saw Chantelle and Jade with fear on their faces. In the distance there was another, but who? She was not sure if they were together or parted, but they were running and hiding. What was happening? Why were there so many concerns? She could not tell where she was going for reality seemed so far away. But what is reality anyway? Was it the perceptions of the ancient people that form the current reality, or was it the threads of need that separated them?

She saw fear on their faces. A small child was beside her with tears running down her face. This child was not an image of her own fear. She felt the chill of despair run through her body, her blood was throbbing through her veins. Her heart was racing and her head was cloudy. She was dizzy. She tried to understand the sources of fear but became startled. She saw herself growing big; big as the night and as dark as the spirit of the night. There was silence in this darkness. Silence of word and silence of spirit overwhelmed her. She was not sure what to make of this. She knew from past experiences this meant something was going to happen; for trips like this always preceded the time of true tribulation. This time there seemed to be so much terror, panic was surfacing. She did not want to walk this path. She felt apprehensive and pensive. Her body stiffened. She tried to turn to see another way, but her body was fixed into the essence of this path. No matter how hard she tried to move away she found herself drawn closer into the bleakness of the night. Her awareness of her environment was sinking deeper into an abyss. There was a sense of suffocation as the world changed and she was falling. She knew where she was going had yet to be found. She wondered if it was yet to exist.

CHAPTER TWO

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C hantelle awoke the next morning with a sense of relief. She remembered falling into a deep sleep thinking about her father. This had been an uneasy night. She felt she had been in a world of darkness with no spirit. She had never had this type of experience before and she was glad to see the brightness of the day. The songs of the sparrows were the tunes of the day. They brought her back to the World of Joy. She was unsure about the night events. Was it a dream or was it real? It seemed real. She wanted to talk to her father about the dream but she knew this was not allowed in her World of Joy. She would share the dream with Heavenlee at lunch time. Hopefully her friend would have some insight about its meaning. Heavenlee had the ability to interpret dreams. She again wondered if it was real.

The morning dew awakened the crispness of the day. The heat from the sun came through the small window and started to penetrate the room. She could feel the difference in the sun on one side of her body and the dew on the other. She had never paid attention to this before - or was this the first time she was aware of the difference in her body? For the body is but a receptacle of the spirit and the mind. The heart was what united them together as one. She smiled at this thought.

There was a strange sense penetrating her nasal passage. The flowers seemed to have a strange fragrance this morning. The fragrance was overpowering, ora was this too part of her dream? Both seemed to be as one. This startled her. She looked around for the flower that was producing the fragrance but she could not find it. This left her with an eerie feeling of ambiguity. She was having a strange pull towards regret and she was not sure why this was so prominent today. Maybe it was because of the upcoming events of this night. She did not have anything to be regretful for. Chantelle shook her body hoping to rid herself of this uncanny feeling. Still the fragrance was familiar and lingered on.

She started to think about her mother. She was not sure why this was so foremost in her mind lately, but there it was again. She was happy thinking about her mother and then she realized the fragrance. It was the one perfume her mother wore all the time. She wondered if her mother was in a far-away world looking down on her, or had come to her in the middle of her dream. Chantelle believed that the spirit of the one gone before her could help with the journey of life. She knew her mother had been watching out for her in the past, so why not now? But why now? What was so important that she would come to her in the middle of the night? Had she really come or was it just a dream? This was a strange and eerie dream. Maybe she was the one that was trying to protect her from this dream.

All of a sudden Chantelle felt a touch. She was convinced her mother was trying to touch her. She looked around but again no one was there. She was concerned, especially in light of the events surrounding her mother’s passage to the far-away world. She just wanted to get out of her room. There was something uneasy here. The walls were closing in on her. She found herself feeling short of breath and breathing heavily. Was this panic? She had never felt this before. No matter how she concentrated on joy, a sense of despair was coming over her. She wondered if her mother felt this way just before she went to the far-away world. She knew she was being pulled into a different space and time. She thought she was being pulled into the far-away world. She did not feel tired; as a matter of fact, she felt elated although apprehensive. She felt the wind pushing as she thought about the curse of the wind. Maybe this was really happening to her. She could not be taken today - not today - for tonight she would be human.

For the first time, maybe Heavenlee was right about her. Maybe she could feel despair. She was not sure this feeling was despair, but whatever it was, she did not like the feeling. This feeling seemed to engulf her. She tried to break away from the room but she was compelled to stay with the moment. All of a sudden, she heard her father’s voice calling her and this broke the mood. She was glad to hear her father.

Chantelle, time for breakfast. Busheron yelled

She almost forgot how special this day was to be for the both of them. She knew that breakfast was a special time. First, because it was a gentle time to share the family and second, because her father was such a good cook. He knew how to make everything. Every meal was a feast. Every meal was sprinkled with his love.

More important today was Chantelle’s 16th birthday, the birthday of humanness. In her world, the first year, the 16th year, and the 61st year where the special birthdays. If the child lived to one year of age, then the child had developed the immunity that was needed to survive within all the worlds. Immunity was very important. This was considered the mark of an innocent life, until the evening of the 16th birthday. That night you received the special gift: a radiant beam would enter the innocent soul and allow the spirit to participate in the celebration of mankind. The 16th birthday marked a change for the spirit and soul. This was different for each person. The mark would remain until the soul was taken to a far - away world.

The knowledge given this night would allow the brain to meld with the soul and then become human. At least this was the belief in the World of Joy. This was why this night would be special for Chantelle as well as for her father. He would be honored because he would became the father of the human.

On the other hand, Busheron was concerned this might change the relationship he had developed with his daughter. He did not want it to be tarnished. He felt this relationship was his gold. He was anxious and he did not want to show this to Chantelle. He also was not feeling well. This was strange for him for he was always healthy and he was not sure why he felt so nervous. This was such a special night for them both. He knew his 61st birthday was coming soon and he did not have much more time with Chantelle. The 61st birthday was your death birthday. In ancient times, if the person reached age 61 then the society would isolate them until they died. Why had this not changed? Did this society not have the ability to help people beyond age 61? 61 was so random! At this age people were expected to place all meaning of their life into the Hall of Lives. This would allow them to always be remembered, as well as to be available to the tribesmen yet to come. Chantelle was able to view the life of her great grandmother, her great grandfather, her grandmother and grandfather, as well as her aunts and uncles. As for her mother, she died in such a strange manner she was not given the privilege of depositing her experiences. This really left an emptiness for Chantelle. Others were able to visit the experiences of their loved ones, but the person Chantelle wanted to know the most was not available. She could just envision the essence and the words of her mother; she longed to hear her voice. Her mother was but a memory. She knew memories faded with time. Memories were influenced by time and events. The question was how accurate were her memories of her mother. Small things if brought to her wakefulness, like the scent of her favorite perfume, would cause memories to come flooding into her consciousness. It was really hard for her today for the memories were strong. On the Day of Humanness, she was sensing a new emotion. She was not sure if it was correct. Others in her world were guided through the experience by their mothers; she would have her father. At least this is what she believed.

Chantelle was going to try very hard to make the morning special for her father. She was on edge because of the dream last night. She would feel better when she was able to talk to Heavenlee about what happened. She was half cold and half warm when she walked into kitchen. She remember thinking her body was but a reflection of her spirit - and her spirit was just half of the whole. Could she be both at the same time? The thought brought a small smile to her face. She could see immediately that her father appeared different. Her attention was directed to her father. She was immediately concerned about her father. He seemed to be acting different than usual and seem to be paler than usual. She thought about the conversation the day before about the flowers and wondered what her father was thinking about. She was an uneasy with this change.

Dad. I was thinking about this evening. Can you and I sit at the edge of the creek and allow the waters to clean the spirit? I am concerned about allowing the radiant light into me without a clean spirit. Chantelle voiced.

Busheron was surprised. He had not been feeling well and he was trying to keep this from her. Why do you feel your spirit is not clean? He asked. I don’t feel this should be a concern. Are you doing or thinking of things that are not of this world? Honey, you need to be honest to yourself first. Tonight will be the greatest gift you receive in life.

Will it be greater than the gift that is shared between husband and wife? Chantelle asked. Where this came from she did not know."

Busheron thought for a moment. The gift shared by two in marriage is the gift of eternal love. It bonds you to life, to each other, and allows you to grow as a person. This is very different than tonight, for tonight, you will receive yourself as a person, as a human. First, you have to be human to really understand the intimacies of marriage. This is the greatest gift you will receive for yourself, for your own essence. This is just the beginning of the discovery of self. The discovery of self is the awakening of life to the fullest! He thought for a few more seconds and then slowly and softly said, Marriage is a gift of fulfillment, a gift of sharing, of intimacy, of life itself allowing you to see more fully who you are. As he spoke these words, he seemed to have a longing for this again in his life.

For Chantelle, honesty was the greatest gift she could receive in life. But she still could not tell her father about her friendships and conversations with Heavenlee, Jade, or about her dream. The problem was that the dream seemed so real. She was not sure whether it really occurred or what its meaning could possibly be. She could not take her mind off the dream. If it did happen then she was unclean in her world. She looked up at her father.

He had such a concerned look on his face, she just smiled and said Oh dad, it is just the jitters about tonight. She felt he needed to be reassured that she was ready for the events to come, but was she? That was her concern.

He forced a smile to give way. He was concerned he had not done a good job trying to raise her alone in the last eight years. Again his thoughts turned to his far-away wife. He sighed and turned as if he was in a distant place and said, I know, maybe…

Chantelle was dressed in a soft purple silk dress. She liked the color purple the best. This was something both Chantelle and Heavenlee had in common - the color purple and all it shades. Maybe this was why last night’s vivid sky still reminded her of the painted picture. She turned to leave the house. She said goodbye to her dad but he seemed not to be listening, just staring somewhere in a distant space. He didn’t seem to be himself. But what is a self anyway? We are one thing one moment and another the next. Are we people who can change like the wind?

I will be home later this afternoon, she said. I think we both need to sit by the creek. I for tonight and you for yesterdays. He smiled and nodded.

The day was very bright, with the sun still hovering over the dome, when Chantelle left the house. The sun and the moon were in her view together. She started to think about the contrast of life; maybe Heavenlee was right. Was the night greeting the day or it was the day greeting the night? Who knew? She was just happy to be able to go to Middle World. She felt joy again for she was from the World of Joy.

The worlds were different bubbles. You could see the edges of each bubble around each world. Heavenlee had told her once why there was a bubble and the need to destroy them. But Chantelle would not listen. She felt Heavenlee had been strange when these thoughts would occur. But today was new and strange for Chantelle. It was as if she’d looked up for the first time and saw the bubbles that separated the Worlds and was not sure of the purpose of these bubbles. She heard Heavenlee’s voice echoes through the corridors of her mind as she turned to see the moon and sun together. This heavenly greeting had passed and they were now in a different space, not visual to the eye. This movement in the sky was like the passing of Chantelle and Heavenlee in the Middle World; it was only for a short time each day. She wished the moon and the sun could stay together. The moon was her and the sun was Heavenlee.

Chantelle had a briskness to her walk. She was sure if she walked fast and smiled at everyone as she passed, she would be perceived as joyful although joy was not a part of her at this moment; just trepidation. A neighbor called Kami yelled out, Chantelle will be human tonight! Chantelle smiled and said, Thanks, see you tonight.

For the night of becoming human was a community event. She did not want to think about the upcoming event for she knew she would feel nervous. Nervous; not because she would be human, but because she would be the center of interest. She was not the type of person to want to draw attention to herself. She saw herself as ordinary and ordinary people just fade into their ambience.

She continued on to Middle World and to the building that housed education. She wanted to see Heavenlee, to share her dream. Chantelle approach the safe ground and passed through the Middle World with ease. She thought the change would add excitement to her life but not as exciting as talking to her friend. Chantelle took a seat and sat waiting for Heavenlee. Others came and the lessons began. To her dismay Heavenlee was not in the building that housed education. Chantelle asked her teacher where she was and he could see her concern. He told her Heavenlee’s mother had called and asked that her daughter be excused because she was in a strange world.

As to what she meant by this, only God knows. I will never understand the World of Psychic, he mumbled.

The concern on Chantelle’s face became more embedded into her spirit. An eerie look came over the professor’s face. Chantelle was able to pick up the change in the classroom.

She was bringing in an important object for our project we were working on, she answered his concern.

Satisfied with her explanation, he proceeded to talk about the ancient Prince of Innocence and future encounters with the Lion of Essence. It was a popular story. No matter how hard he tried he could not remember the end of the story. He had told the story many times before to the students. He thought he was just having an off day. Chantelle knew the whole story because she had listened to it since childhood. As the professor struggled to finish his story, her thoughts turned to her missing friend.

There was no way to get a message to Heavenlee. She would have to wait until they met again. Chantelle started to think her dream was real. In the dream Heavenlee was taken into a strange and forbidding world. Trouble was penetrating the worlds. Now Heavenlee was not present. Chantelle was troubled. What was happening? Jade was not present either. What to make of this she was not sure. This was even stranger. What was going on?

The day went by very slowly. She had trouble being part of the activities of the day. Everyone put this down to the fact that she would be turning human that evening - this was why she was so distant. Chantelle knew this was not true. She did not care to try to explain but let them think what they would. Better to let people believe she was worried about the party than about Heavenlee and Jade. Although friendships were allowed, one had to be careful.

Chantelle left the building, shielding herself from the sun’s bright rays as she was blinded for a second until her eyes adjusted. The sun seemed very bright and her spirits were so dark she could not understand why the world was not representing her spirit. The contrast was shocking to her. She was deep in thought as she walked slowly towards the gate to the World of Joy. She did not want to leave this part of town to return to the bubble for apprehension was her companion now. As she was fixed on