I Found …: Spiritual, Social, Intellectual, and Practical Musings from Prison

By Tony Morris

The next time the answers to your questions about your core beliefs may not come from a place you may expect.

Tony Morriss colorful and scholarly narrative brings readers inside the world of the incarcerated. It is an environment where the average person would never expect to receive answers to some of the most life-altering questions for their lives.

While he was incarcerated, Tony Morris never imagined his life would be positively impacted in prison, where he met men from all walks of life and various cultural backgrounds. His perspective on those experiences gives insight and empowerment to those who may be facing challenges in their lives.

Tony Morris takes us on an extraordinary journey with fascinating eyewitness accounts of courage, endurance, and discovery as he served his forty-month prison sentence. In one of the most challenging environments a person could experience, Tony Morris discovers that God, faith, and life are just as real in prison as they are outside of prison.

As you read his account, it becomes clear that you can gain a wealth of experience wherever you are if you remain open to the opportunity to learn and discover what you believe and stand for.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Jan 29, 2016
• ISBN: 9781504348126

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Copyright © 2016 Anthony Morris.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-5043-4811-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-4813-3 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-4812-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016900370

Balboa Press rev. date: 01/28/2016

Contents

Foreword

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1 I Found ... God

Chapter 2 I Found ... A Devil

Chapter 3 I Found ... Light And Darkness

Chapter 4 I Found ... The Genius'

Chapter 5 I Found ... Good And Evil

Chapter 6 I Found ... Success And Failure

Chapter 7 I Found ... Life And Death

Chapter 8 I Found ... Myself

References

Foreword

Throughout human history thinkers, writers, artists, doers, builders, creators, inventors, explorers and such have marched to the beat of a different drummer. They have shifted paradigms, altered perceptions, and challenged our fundamental assumptions. Bold, fearless, insatiably curious men and women of great wonder and stamina who have been willing to pursue big ideas, insights, discoveries, revelations, and concepts wherever they might lead. Tony Morris is such an explorer. His is a brilliant thinker, a visionary builder, a developer of leaders, and now an author, whose life exemplifies both the great gifts and the great grace of the Infinite Creator. In 'I Found' the reader is pushed to new levels of thinking conceiving, imagining, and believing, as Tony takes us deep inside the heart and mind of a deeply spiritual and passionate thinker, and an ever evolving lover of God and truth. Tony's openness, honesty, integrity, and vulnerability are exemplary and set a standard for new leadership and new conversations across the board.

In 'I Found' you will be challenged, enlightened, awakened, inspired, and provoked to invest all of yourself in being a solution, a creative problem solver, to think outside the box, and to realize that your true spiritual evolution and unfoldment have only just begun. Let us follow Tony Morris into a future of the remarkable!

James L. Giles

Winter 2015, The Carolinas

Invictus

Acknowledgements

To my beautiful wife and best friend Renee...I am thankful for you being in my life these past 36 years. I respect and appreciate your strength and realness. I love you!

To our daughters Naomi and Candace...both of you continuing to pursue your goals is admirable and a testament of who you both have become as women. I am thankful that you both are committed to being who you were created to be. Thank you for your unconditional love for me.

To our granddaughter Karina...you were a source of joy and strength for me while we were going through a difficult time in our lives. Your enthusiasm and zeal for life keep me motivated and inspired.

Thank you...

To my mother Jill Morris for all of your support and love.

To my father Walter McGowan Jr. for your encouragement.

To my mother-in-law Elouise Richmond for your love and encouragement.

To John and Akida (Jonathan) Nurse for everything that you have done for my family. I appreciate you.

To Prophet James Giles for being a brother to me.

To Bishop and Mother Drayton my spiritual parents. Your support has been a source of encouragement.

To my father-in-law Willard Richmond Sr. you said it would be over quickly and it was.

To my in laws Clay and Veronica Breland for looking out for my family.

To my brother Jonathan, his wife Debora, my nephew Tyell and niece Aspen I enjoyed our visit.

To the New Covenant Christian Center family. Your commitment to God, my family and me is greatly appreciated.

To Pastor George Noble for your letters of encouragement and support.

To Pastor Royce Shorter Sr. for your letters of encouragement and support.

To Coach Al Roberts for your weekly letters. I appreciated you taking your time to write me each week.

To Kathryn Baker for being a part of our family.

To Mrs. Lavern Baker for your letters. They were a source of tremendous encouragement to me.

To Minister Annette Hammonds for the emails and books.

To Elder Charles Frazier for your all of your support.

To Sheila Phillips for all of your support.

To Martin and Nona Brazier your friendship is appreciated.

To Robin Jones for your friendship.

To Dr. Lucile Richardson you helped to pull this book project together. Thank you.

To all of you who emailed or wrote to me. Your encouragement is appreciated.

To all of the men that I met and connected with while at Herlong. My you discover your purpose for life and live it to the fullest.

Introduction

On Thursday, May 24, 2012, I self-surrendered to the Federal Correctional Institution at Herlong, California. What happened to my life that had for the previous twenty-six years been spent serving as the senior pastor of a thriving local church in the most ethnically diverse community west of the Mississippi River?

I had never been arrested nor had I been incarcerated. I was forty-eight years old and had been convicted and sentenced to a forty month prison sentence for the crimes of wire fraud and money laundering.

Before being convicted, I had already been scrutinized in the court of public opinion through the media for what many considered to be inexcusable actions. I was considered by some to be a liar, a thief, a con-artist and a manipulator.

The process that I experienced prior to incarceration started an inward journey to discover or rediscover what I really believed. I had been a pastor, a community organizer, an entrepreneur, and more importantly to me, a husband and a father. Had I lost my moral compass or was it simple human ambition that caused me to make some wrong decisions? Was I as deviant as I was being portrayed? You may ask why would I need to ask myself these types of questions; wouldn't I already know the answers if I was simply honest with myself? This inward journey led me to closely examine my personal belief system, motives and intentions.

I understand from these types of questions that life is not always congruent, and life becomes an accumulation of our choices. There are often corrections that we must make in our lives to live as our best selves and this is done while we are living life. Life doesn't stop simply because there are things that we must change or address. This may include even examining our most fundamental beliefs. It can also mean that we will have to challenge some of those beliefs to see where they began and why they have been so deeply held. Our perspectives or how we see our experiences in life have everything to do with what we will do and why we will do it.

Perspectives are influenced by perceptions. Perhaps you have heard the adage, Your perception is your reality? What is perception anyway? According to the dictionary, the word 'perception' comes from the root word 'perceive.' The word 'perceive' is defined, to grasp mentally, to take hold of, discern or comprehend. Perception is ultimately the level of awareness or understanding that we have of someone or something. Our understanding is directly influenced by our knowledge or lack thereof of a thing or a person. It is influenced by the environments that have shaped us. And, it is determined by our exposure or lack thereof to people, places, things or experiences. Perception governs a person's beliefs, attitudes and ultimately our behaviors.

Our capacity to understand a particular aspect of our lives is often buried underneath the social, cultural, religious and ideological expectations of others that can restrict, discourage, and even hinder us from reaching our fullest potential.

This human experience is wrought with twists and turns that can cause us to ask questions such as, Who am I? What do I really believe about life? And How will I live a life that is well lived? This is the human experience...

Rocco Errico one of my favorite authors described the human experience this way, "In our essence we are spirit and in our expression we are human. We are divinely human and humanly divine. As human beings, we can soar to great heights and fall to extreme depths. Through choice we may either terrorize or tranquilize ourselves. We are born sensitive and strong. Yet we are vulnerable, and we possess astounding potential for anything we wish to be or do. However, we also possess a potential to error. It is unfortunate that fallibility is often equated with failure and evil. The thought of fallibility does not mean that we are, in essence, failures. Nor is it valid to equate fallibility with evil.

Fallibility helps us to realize humility. It also provides us with an opportunity to grow in compassion, understanding, and love for ourselves and for others. When fallibility is accepted and not resisted, the vulnerability creates a pathway of compassion where fear no longer dominates our minds. When this idea is fully comprehended, we become free to make mistakes without guilt, shame or condemnation.

When we truly understand ourselves as God's image, we learn to forgive and release ourselves from self-imposed oppression. Then we discover self-contentment."¹ (Rocco Errico)

Chapter 1

GOD

When I arrived at the Herlong Federal Prison Camp, several men approached me with a variety of gifts. This initially made me extremely uncomfortable since prior to going to prison I was told that you should not receive any gifts from anyone, because all gifts come with some type of expectation. So to say the least, I was reluctant to receive their gifts, and at the same time I didn't want to offend anyone who brought them. One prisoner gave me a sweat shirt and a pair of sweat pants. Another gave me a