Love Is Forgiveness

By Jyoti

To my mother: your life was taken brutally, leaving me the gift of courage. Thank you.

This is the story of how I overcame the murder of my mother and found peace after decades of suffering from a traumatic life of abuse and memories that haunted me. It is the story of how I put an end to a tragic event that didnt end just that night, but instead continued on, affecting my generation and the generations of my children and grandchildren.

I hope that reading this book will show you there is another waythat it is possible to find peace after insanity. With this book, I explain the exploration of self and the consequences of the human condition. I tell how each and every knot can be taken apart so that we can attain the freedom of our soul and be happy.

This book brings the hope that what once was fear can shift into love. It can help you to recognize the capacity inside of you to transform your life.

You can find this books website at
www.LoveIsForgiveness.com.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Jun 24, 2014
• ISBN: 9781452516516

Jyoti

This is the story of a woman and the journey she embarked on that took her from “surviving to thriving.” It details her struggle, her resilience, and her transformation. When she was only two years old, her father killed her mother. She was placed in an orphanage, where she suffered mental and physical abuse. At nineteen, she married, only to discover more abuse. At the age of twenty-four and after having four children, she found the courage to choose happiness.

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Copyright © 2014 Jyoti .

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4525-1650-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-1652-3 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-1651-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014910255

Balboa Press rev. date: 06/17/2014

CONTENTS

Introduction

Acknowledgements

Preface

Chapter 1 The Wakeup Call

Chapter Two Calling For Love

Chapter Three The Quantum Healing Center

Chapter Four The Attachments And Fears Of Letting Go

Chapter Five A Course In Miracle Lesson: I Am As God Created Me

Chapter Six The Process Of Undoing And Discovering The Miracle Of Love

Chapter Seven The Root Of The Ongoing Struggles

Chapter Eight A Little Of My Life Story

Chapter Nine The Expectations And The Disappointments

Chapter Ten Surviving – The Second Stage Of My Life

Chapter Eleven The Decision, The Divorce, The Violence, The Fright, And The Strentgh

Chapter Twelve The Struggles To Thrive And Not Just Survive

Chapter Thirteen The Root Of The Unconscious; The Confusion Brought To Light

Chapter Fourteen How Is Healing Accomplished?

Conclusion

INTRODUCTION

This book is about my story, including the people, the principles and the practices that have changed my life and inspired my vision. This book was written not with the intention to impress you; instead, my intention is to inspire you and help you find the courage and strength to seek another way. I want to encourage you to let go of fear and trust your Divine Intelligence, a gift from our Creator, and use it to gain your personal power so that you can be all that you were meant to be.

I don’t know if many of you could really imagine what it would be like to have your mother die after being murdered by your father, and then to be placed in a Catholic orphanage while suffering from mental and physical abuse. This was my experience. At age 19 I married, only to discover more abuse, and by age 24 I had four children that led me to take responsibility for the family well-being. It is not easy to conceive what a horrible trauma this would be, how it would affect those involved, and what the struggles to find peace and forgiveness would be because of it. Yet, this is the story of how I overcame the murder, found peace and I was able to forgive and find Love after decades of suffering from a traumatic life of abuse and memories that haunted me.

I hope reading this book will show you there is another way. That it is possible to find peace and freedom after insanity. With this book, I explain the exploration of self and the consequences of the human condition. I tell how each and every knot can be gracefully undone so that our Souls can fly.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

My journey began as I joined the Florida Institute of Complementary and Alternative Medicine, a four-year journey into healing. Once I began studying and learning the quantum process of healing, my healing began with the understanding that the only person I needed to control and change in order to have a life I wanted was myself. With much gratitude, I share this information with you that you so may benefit from the work I have done and heal your life also. To this school, a four years into the study of the human mind, conscious and unconscious, I owe the knowledge I have gained that transformed my life, the understanding and the work involved in removing any hidden blocks, and developing the awareness to see myself as the source of this repetition of negative patterns. I learned how to access my power to change and to let go of what was not congruent with my True Nature, embrace my birthright with clarity, and make changes so that I can live an extraordinary life and open myself to the flow of miracles in all areas of my life.

To heal, we must face the dark side of our mind that is unknowingly repressed in the unconscious mind/body, and embrace the confusion, emotions and pains accumulated in childhood that are now frozen energy held in the body stopping the natural flow of pulsation.

As I write this book, I am filled with passion and love, and it is my intention to inspire you and, if nothing else, perhaps create an opening for a glimpse of light to come in and allow you to see your potential and overcome struggles along the way as I did.

I dedicate this book:

To my mother, your life was taken brutally, leaving me the gift of courage.

Deep gratitude to my children, and my grandchildren, the lights that keep my light on at all times. You are my best teachers, and it is because of the love I have for you that I searched for another way.

MANY THANKS TO

My father and the people involved in my upbringing, the nuns who raised me, my relatives, and my ex-husband, who lived unconsciously and had their own pain that they transferred to me. Because of them, I learned to stand on my own two feet and find my own gifts in life.

Thank you to my older sister Rosalia, the only stream of love in my childhood. Despite your own pain, you placed my sister and I much younger, first. I love you.

To my two sisters, Francesca and Pina, I feel your presence in Spirit. When your suffering became too much and destroyed your body, I was given the awareness that it was up to me to heal and take the steps to achieve a healthier life.

To Nick, with your sense of humor, you taught me that laughter heals all pain even when tragedy strikes unexpectedly.

To a dear friend of mine, who wrote to me one day and said: I am trapped living a life that is not my own. May this book inspire you to find the courage to use the key you hold to unlock the prison door and set yourself free to live a life of abundance and peace.

To my clients, there are so many thank you for trusting me with your homes and offering sincere friendship, especially Roxy and Richard, Muriel and Donald, and Beverly and Warren. You made my struggles lighter, provided the work I needed to support my children, and lent a listening ear upon which to dump my laments. Friends: God’s selection to substitute family.

Thank you to my teacher, Brian, for never allowing me to give up and for being what I call a noble friend. You let me know that if I wanted changes, I needed to take responsibility for the way I was feeling. Thank you for seeing in me the light of my creation.

One day during A Course in Miracles class, I shared my confusion and I asked you, Who am I? I don’t even know. My family calls me Lina, I call myself Antonietta, and my birth certificate says Luisa.

Calmly you looked at me and responded, You are Jyoti.

I was not familiar with that name and with an egotistical response, I replied, What? Jyoti who?

"You are Jyoti, in Sanskrit language meaning the Light. You are Knowledge and the Knower," again, words unfamiliar to me. In order to find answers, I later attended the Florida Institute for Alternative and Complementary Medicine based on mind, body, and spirit. There I learned the tools to cope with the confusion while on my journey of transformation, and I learned to turn coal into diamonds. I got to know Jyoti. Also many thanks, Brian, for your encouragement to write this book.

To my first therapist, you gave me the first glimpse of light-love and self-worth.

To my children’s high school counselor. While we were trying to survive, and a time of confusion you noticed the gifts I passed on to my children and celebrated our family values with encouragement while strengthening my children’s self-esteem.

So many authors who contributed to my growth, expansion and happiness: Eckhart Tolle, Don Miguel Ruiz, Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Robert Dilts and Robert McDonald, Caroline Myss, Deepak Chopra, Tony Robbins, Louise Hay, John Bradshaw, Michael A. Singer, Daniel Goldman, Richard Bandler, Alexander Lowen, M.D., John E. Sarno, M.D., Milton H. Erickson, Daniel Goleman, Bruce H.Lipton, PhD, Stanley Keleman, Sigmund Freud, the father of psychology, and especially Helen Schucman with A Course in Miracles book, a professor of Medical Psychology at Columbia University’s College of Physicians and Surgeons in New York City. This book taught me that, with God, all things are possible, and with the practice of the lessons in the book, old beliefs in me were removed and replaced with new empowering beliefs.

To Robert Holden (one of my favorite writers) for the elegant simplicity in your writing, for your gentle yet powerful messages, for the authenticity of your words, and for the heartfelt love you share in your teaching. As I listen to you, mostly on YouTube, I’ve come to believe that I can live an extraordinary life and really grasp the difference between the two selves: my higher self and my lower self and the message of my essence (Love) which brings me closer to the Source.

To Oprah Winfrey, my model of excellence, for your courage and for your generosity, for being an example of talking and walking the talk, and for the topics on your talk show that made it possible for me to hear the voice of courage and strength.

Thank you to my Higher Self, as once I began writing, a stream of words came flowing to me and through me with a sense of peace in my heart and a closure that brought me an understanding that what I once feared has shifted into love, and that I can use it as a gift to be present and live in the now while inspiring others.

Thank you to my son in law for your technical support. I came to you so many times for help and I loved your honesty when you said: This is the only book you will be writing, right?

PREFACE

THE PURPOSE FOR A CHANGE

After many years of inner work, I felt the transformation, and I went from Surviving to Thriving. Ha! With the power of choice, the transformation began when I made an agreement with myself to develop the discipline to work toward a goal, and to live a full life, with getting well not being my only goal. More importantly, I began to learn to live without fears, to accept and be at peace with the past, and to put an end to a tragic event that didn’t end with just that night, but instead, continued on, affecting my generation, and the generations of my children and grandchildren.

That magnificent moment of epiphany came to me on Tuesday, July 1, 2005, while driving on my way to the hospital. A song came on the radio—"I Will Always Love You", by Whitney Houston. I felt the beating of my heart, the expansion of this magnificent muscle getting larger, fireworks in the air, a day of love. My daughter was going to deliver my first two grandchildren, a set of twins—two times the love, a boy and a girl. That early morning, on my way to the hospital to welcome their entrance in this world, I felt love and happiness come to life more than I could ever imagine. My grandchildren had not been born yet, and I could already hear my voice whispering in their ears, I love you. A sentence they later returned to me. A sentence that ignited a flame, which amplified, and gave a new meaning to my world as they whispered in my ear, I love you, Grandma, and love, transformed my life.

Today I have six voices whispering in my ear, Grandma, I love you! I love you! and each time a new grandchild was born, the same wakening feeling of love palpitated with each beat of my heart. I can’t ask for anything more. These voices whispering to me, I love you, are God’s way of saying, I love you letting me know that together it is never too late to have a happy childhood.

This stage of my life became a time of resilience, and I made a decision to work toward a goal of rediscovering the Love inside me buried underneath shame, anger and resentment and to reclaim as mine that which had been lost. My intention was pure; the love I felt for these babies was real and begged the question that led me to work toward transformation: How could I give something that had been lost?

Well, I asked! Be prepared to receive the answers to your questions, because if you really mean it, you will be exposed to lessons through events that will happen only for the purpose of your personal development. The work began.

The first and most important key was to understand that the power lay in my choices. Victim no more was a choice I made. Using the experiences of pain for a good purpose was a choice, to be victorious was a choice, not to let a crisis be an excuse to stop living a full life was a choice. To use my experiences to help others was a choice, to take responsibility for my being was a choice. It was my life and, despite the suffering I went through, I made a choice to heal, take charge, and face the shame and resentment that haunted me forever. There was nothing I could do to change the past; there was something I could do in the present to connect to love, to stay alive, to live up to my full potential, and to be all that I am meant to be.

How did I get there? Resilience, resilience, resilience…breaking free from the limitation with the understanding that it didn’t matter how long I had been that way. I gave myself permission to open up to new opportunity. The quality of resilience is something that can be compared to a jewel covered with fungus and debris, glued and stuck from years of neglect that becomes invisible and forgotten. Imagine chipping away this debris, now turned into stone, with a small tool. It is difficult at first and almost seems impossible, but soon with persistence and the resilience to get back to the original state of nature, with fatigue and dedication, you chip away to regain what once was: a Jewel of love and innocence. As you get rid of old beliefs, you can now start anew. The brain will accept a new file; the brain mirrors your thoughts, beliefs, and anything you dwell on.

A Course In Miracle says it well, What you dwell on you become. The power of choice lies in the decision of what you want: Light or Darkness,"