"I Am" … from Fear to Freedom: Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Was a Call for Self-Love

By Marie Brunger

I AM from Fear to Freedom invites the reader to enter the inner recesses of the life of a woman who struggled with the news that she had chronic fatigue syndrome. In her personal reflections, Marie Brunger shares her spiritual journey, unmasking and naming her fears, disappointments, losses, traumas, and her feelings of grief, guilt, and shame. In the end, though, she finds a path that leads her from the destructive realm of fear to a place of liberation and freedom.

In the course of telling the authors story, I AM from Fear to Freedom reveals, bit by bit, the major tenets of the I AM philosophy. As the narrative progresses, step by step, the contours of this approach to life that promotes wellness and wholeness come into focus.

I AM from Fear to Freedom holds up one womans account of a difficult, yet ultimately life-affirming transformation. This story may appeal to you because you face life with chronic fatigue syndrome. Perhaps you deal with some other personal challenges. Maybe you know someone who endures travail in his or her life. Regardless of your particular circumstances, I AM from Fear to Freedom passes on the insight that self-love can bring you health and feelings of well-being.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press AU
• Release date: Sep 8, 2015
• ISBN: 9781452530420

Marie Brunger

Marie Brunger received a life-changing diagnosis in 1992, discovering she had chronic fatigue syndrome. Within four years, she became a therapist, teacher, and writer focused upon living by and promoting the “I AM” philosophy, which teaches that self-love is the foundation for all healing and complete well-being.

Book preview

I AM

… from fear to

Freedom

CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME WAS

A CALL FOR SELF-LOVE

Marie Brunger

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Copyright © 2015 Marie Brunger.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Balboa Press

A Division of Hay House

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www.balboapress.com.au

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4525-3041-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-3042-0 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 09/03/2015

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1: I AM … In the Beginning

Chapter 2: I AM … Opening a Can of Worms

Chapter 3: I AM … Above and beyond Religion

Chapter 4: I AM … Above and Beyond Belief

Chapter 5: I AM … The Overseer

Chapter 6: Remembering I AM

Chapter 7: I AM … Beyond the Canvas

Chapter 8: I AM … Seeing Jesus in a New Light

Chapter 9: I AM … A Global Inspiration

Chapter 10: I AM … Love Therapy

Chapter 11: I AM … The Field of All Possibilities

Chapter 12: I AM … Transforming

Chapter 13: I AM … The Call of Your Spiritual Self

Chapter 14: I AM … The Love of Jesus

Chapter 15: I AM … In the End

This book is

dedicated to every one who has ever asked questions like: Who am I? What am I here for? What’s my purpose? What’s the point?

And to those who have exclaimed I just want to be me.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

The Universe has sent a multitude of helpers often disguised as ordinary people, friends or family, and even strangers. Only when I was able to look through the eyes of good could I see the extra in those people and situations and fully recognise the extraordinary blessings they brought.

I am thankful for the powerful and brave teachers who have paved the way before me, creating a somewhat safer spiritual path to venture along. I have come a long way, and the road really does seem to have become narrower, with fewer tracks to wonder off on. I now understand that spirituality is personal for each and every one of us, and there is no right or wrong way to discover or to uncover that unique self.

Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, and Louise Hay are just some of the teachers and leaders who I have followed over the past twenty-three years. I am grateful for their dedication to getting their messages out into the world.

Thanks to my family and friends, many who had no idea what I was doing (how could they? I hardly knew myself) but who still lent a hand, money, a home, an ear, and moral support along the way.

My clients have been valuable teachers to me. I am grateful for the laughs we had as well as the powerful healing that took place. Thank you for putting your faith in me and allowing me to support you at such a vulnerable time in your life.

Thank you to the practitioners and therapists who have played an important role in my growth, healing, and transformation.

I give big hugs of gratitude to the thousands of children, teenagers, and young people who have played a significant role in my life. Each and every one of you came to me as a gift, disguised as students, but were really my teachers.

To the strangers I meet, sometimes on the beach, on the street, in cafés, and in other, more unusual places; you have opened your hearts and allowed me to open mine. Thanks for the exchanges of love, the hugs, and the prayers we have briefly shared along the way.

To those strange-looking, well-disguised angels who have turned up looking like enemies, thank you for showing me what I needed to learn.

My heart felt thanks goes out to every single person who has come into my life because I believe no one arrives without a reason.

Finally, thank you, the reader, for sharing this most intimate part of my journey. I may not know you, but I feel that through this sharing, we will find a common thread of faith

INTRODUCTION

I’m going to find myself, I thought one morning. I had no idea what that really meant, and I didn’t give it another thought until …

In those days I had no idea about the different levels of consciousness, beliefs, patterns, and programming. I wasn’t brought up in a religious family, so God and any kind of spirituality remained out of sight and out of mind; or so I thought.

Only when I became sick and began to look for the solutions within did I realise fear was running my life. It was separating me from my loving self, a loving life, being a loving wife, and loving others in a way I most wanted.

As I look back, I can see that a lack of understanding led to a lack of trust and in turn led me to feeling unsafe. Strangely enough, I was to learn that trying to understand, and the need for proof, stopped not only the healing process but the flow of life. Acceptance, on the other hand, was my greatest ally. It was through my experiences and acceptance that I found the proof and understanding I was looking for, and I found it on a higher level of awareness.

Chronic fatigue syndrome was the blessing that made me turn inward to search for the answers. Many times I wanted to get off the highly emotional roller coaster, but I hung on for dear life – until I found out I was supposed to let go. Hanging on was keeping me tense and exhausted. Letting go and trusting were the keys to opening up and evolving the parts of me that were shut off and unloved.

My writing began soon after I started therapy. The pen flowed across the paper as if it had a mind of its own. Most of the information represented an inner two-way communication. I had no idea where it was coming from. Much of it was beyond my normal way of thinking. However, it made me feel alive, and I loved it. I fell in love with this new aspect of myself, and a new life began. I called it soul talk because it really was as if my soul was talking to me, sometimes gently chastising me, and other times feeding me with the inspiration and the guidance I was looking for. My intuitive and inspired writing was to become a valuable part of my healing, my spiritual development and my work over the next twenty years.

I am not sharing my journey with you because I am proud of my life, but because I am no longer ashamed of it.

This is not a how-to book. It is, upon reflection that I am able to see life, from childhood to adulthood in a new light. I share with you an account of some of the significant experiences, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, insights, revelations, lessons, explanations, divine interventions, and achievements which I now realise came from making that magical statement, I am going to find myself.

I share the things I learned from my time as a client, as a therapist and teacher but most of all from being a willing, even if at times stubborn, student of life. I now see all of the people I meet as my teachers and some of them as very heavily disguised guiding angels.

I AM … from fear to FREEDOM is about my spiritual unfolding, which rose out of the rubble of ill-health, fear, disappointment, grief, loss, trauma, guilt, shame, and blame.

One morning I yelled out loud in frustration, What’s this all about? and the answer came back, not as loud but as clear: We are raising faith and lowering fear until faith is stronger and fear is no longer. I can’t say that my journey has been easy, but I think my journey in this body would have ended a long time ago without the resurrection of faith.

My story is about overcoming the fear of God, and remembering myself as the love of God. It’s about uncovering old haunting hurts, putting them to rest, and recovering the lost memories of who I really am. It’s like I had to peel away the layers of all the fearful and unfaithful beliefs I held about God, love, and myself to find one faithful Self.

I am not here to convince you that God exists because only you can be fully persuaded through your personal choice and experiences.

I have learned that spirituality is not something we can easily teach. There is no right or wrong way to find God or your godly self, only a way that is right for each individual. All we teachers and students can do is to share our story and inspire others to take that leap of faith and to explore it for themselves, and to do the same for others, if they choose.

I am here to encourage you to be open and to explore beneath the surface and beyond what you think and believe, to find what is real for you. And if, like me, you can’t get a handle on God or Jesus or other historic names, then use whatever names resonate with you. It is of no matter what religion you follow or don’t follow because the Divine – whatever you choose to call it – is available for everyone, without conditions.

I feel as if I have been around the world and back only to find that what I was looking for was right here, right under my nose, and right inside … myself.

There is a fine line that separates fear and freedom. The purpose of "I AM" … from fear to FREEDOM is threefold. It is my personal inspiration to cross that fine line, and my passion to be the inspiration for others like you to come with me. It is a valuable part of my life’s mission to raise faith and to lower fear until faith is stronger and fear no longer exists.

I encourage you to join me and to stay with me until I cross that line … for good.

CHAPTER 1

I AM … In the Beginning

In 1989 I moved interstate with my husband. I don’t remember speaking the words so much as thinking I