Experienced: Life Encountered

By Becky Mustapha

This book will like to serve as a lesson to parents that they should please be supportive to their children be their first teacher in life create time and awareness for them, be their mentor, morally guided, most importantly direct their attention towards religious to some extent.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Dec 17, 2019
• ISBN: 9781984592231

Becky Mustapha

The writer was destined to make it in life but ignorantly but ignorantly due to lack of support from her parents, her journey to the process of achieving her destiny started to become shaken when her mother could not looked after her due to ill-health and she had to moved in with a relative of and according to the says that no one else can care for a child better except his/her parents and this affected her education, the writer happens to be a caring and hardworking child so it was easy to use her regularly for domestic chores however her secondary and primary are not met. Eventually she has to leave and returned to her father's house haven't reached the age that she can take decisions by herself but her mother is no more alive so struggle continue for her she has to give herself moral lessons and no one to stand in as a mother even though many are around that she has run errand for them she was able to complete secondary and further to higher institution after which she got married to the citizen of UK and she relocated, little did she realised that more evil encounter ahead to face. Traditionally, many families make findings on behalf of their child/ren when about to get married or about another issue this was carried out from her in law and the discovery arouse bitterness towards her Which made them to use evil attack to arranged for her in order to prevent her progress. She is a hard working lady while working at the same time engaged in buying/selling, later on, further enrolled in college and further to study in B.sc in Social science level while she was preparing to apply for Master's she lost her husband after sometime she could not managing working life with four children therefore re-sign and focus on her children with the lump sum and pension received from her late husband working place she was able to continue with life while looking after her children

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Copyright © 2020 by Becky Mustapha.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 12/16/2019

Xlibris

800-056-3182

www.Xlibrispublishing.co.uk

799198

Contents

Chapter 1 Life after Marriage

Chapter 2 Being a Widow in Her 40s

Chapter 3 Sometimes Friends Are Better Than Family

Chapter 4 Beginnings

Chapter 5 Education, Education, Education

Chapter 6 Making It Work

Chapter 7 Finding My Religion

Chapter 8 First Love

Chapter 9 Changes

Chapter 10 Courtship

Chapter 11 Vows for Life

Chapter 12 Thunderstorms

Chapter 13 Sons

Chapter 14 Work, Work, Work

Chapter 15 The End

Chapter 16 Keeping My Head Up

Chapter 17 Hopes

CHAPTER 1

Life after Marriage

In 1998, I became a married woman at age 20. My husband was 35. I attended institutions of higher education and was a student of financial studies. I ran out of maintenance money while at school, so I decided to visit home. On arriving, I was informed that my fiancé had sent a message from the United Kingdom saying he was planning to visit Nigeria for the nikai (marriage) in a week’s time, and that they were already planning to send my sister-in-law to visit me at school. It was during the exam period, so I decided to return to school and come home again in a week.

After he arrived home, I visited my fiancé. We didn’t say much to each other. Later that same day I had to return to school. The wedding date was set.

After another week in school, I travelled back to Ijebu-Ode (a town in Ogun State) from Offa (in Kwara) for my wedding. I couldn’t leave school on time because I had schoolwork that I needed to submit before leaving.

When I arrived home, I discovered that all the arrangements has been made for my wedding. The canopies, chairs, and tents had arrived, and the cooking was underway.

The following day, I dressed to meet my husband at the registry for the court part of the wedding. Things went fine, except for some grumbling in the background from my husband’s relations when I danced to show my joy afterwards.

The following day, I returned to my school in Offa because I had an exam. My husband returned to the United Kingdom the day after that. What an arrangement! Before my husband left, his family gathered in the sitting room, waiting to learn the outcome of a local tradition: My husband was supposed to show his family a white cloth stained with blood. Instead, there was no bloodstain. According to tradition, that could only mean one thing: the wife had lost her virginity before marriage and therefore deserved to be punished. The punishment entailed smacking her with a light stick and then inserting chilli peppers into her privates to make the husband abstain from getting close or having sex with her and to make her tell the family how she lost her virginity.

My husband