I've Been Conned: Book for Dummies

By Suzana Thayer

This self-help book is based on the true story of what happened to me; it will help you and your family spot a con in time. It will assist you in the awareness of what you should look out for before it's too late. In reality, it becomes a domino effect that you lose all your money, lifestyle, family, dignity and self-respect. Knowing how to gain insight of what to look for will help you regain your life and save you from a world of betrayal and loneliness. Because of my inquisitive nature, I needed to know how he did this, and why it happened to me. Many people, mostly family, wanted to understand and help but became lost and unaware, only to find out the truth when it was too late.

When this all started happening to me I felt empowered and capable of doing anything. My emotions were high; I was in love and felt like I could achieve anything, do anything, get whatever I wanted. I felt high on life. I never realized how unhappy I was with my life and how lonely I really was.
But it came crashing down hard, leaving me devastated, broke, and alone. My family changed how they felt about me; I became labeled because in reality they felt robbed and cheated because of what the con did. They didn't know how to handle the pain and rejection, because I became someone they didn't know and the impact was traumatic and devastating.

I feel it is my duty to stop you from making the same mistake I made. It's surmountable and very lonely when you end up losing yourself, money, and your family in a blink of an eye. I guarantee it will happen if you do not look at the warning signs, and as hard as it was for me to write this book, I had to, because I believe that your life is worth saving. You deserve better than what the con is playing you for, because the outcome is that you end up feeling like a fool. You deserve better and I don't want what happened to me to happen to you. I never felt so empty, vulnerable, and alone, and sadly, when you are conned on the internet—even though at the time you think you're a princess or queen or a king in a fairy tale—you keep going. You don't want it to stop. I don't want you to believe every word they say.

Then one day what you perceived to be real with all your heart and soul becomes a darkness, a shadow that will haunt you with great remorse and suffering. I wanted you to see how hard you will or could fall if you don't stop, if you don't look for signs and warnings that it will be too late. You will lose yourself if you don't. My hope is that you will try to find out what these signs are before you become a victim of a terrible crime, because that is what it is: a crime, without any chance of ever seeing a cent of your money again. Everything you have, gone.

The worst part is what it does to your family. I was never a materialistic person, but I love my family with all my heart, and the fact that this happened and how they feel about me has crushed my spirits and left a hole in my heart. I just pray that you take time to think about the actions of what it will do to you if you don't look at the ramifications. Take the time to look at the consequences before it is too late, before you lose the most precious thing you have in this world: your family.

I wanted to create a self-help book to give you the knowledge to grow and become aware of what is really happening. I was naïve. I want you to have a better chance at life that the one I live in now. In closing, I don't what you to live in the darkness, I want you to live in the light, and most of all I don't want you to get conned. I want you to have the foresight and knowledge to be able to see past what I would have loved to have known before this happened to me.

You deserve better, remember that.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tellwell Talent
• Release date: Jun 15, 2022
• ISBN: 9780228875284

Suzana Thayer

I realized when I was young that I was never a normal child. I was very different indeed. My life change dramatically after my dad passed away when I was only 11. He was my mentor, my friend, my dad. I was the last one to talk to him, and my world changed. That's when I closed off a big part of my heart. In saying that, I ended up meeting my first love, who ended up becoming my husband years later. My life with him wasn't a bed of roses, but I believed in marriage and my vows and to always be faithful, so I stuck it out and never complained. I believed that one has to respect their spouse, to be there for them always. He was controlling, manipulating, and a cheat, which in turn ended up being a catalyst or a part of what made it easy for me to be manipulated. And I was used not just by the con, but by my family and friends over all the 45 years we were together, and this played a major role in why I was so overwhelmed by the good doctor. You could have called me the ugly duckling; my sisters and my mom never looked at me as part of the family. A big part of my life was spent helping people financially, physically, and emotionally. To many people I had a heart of gold. They loved how consistent, caring, and loving I was and still am. That part of me never changed. I always felt like I was a humanitarian, caring about those around me, never judging anyone for their words or actions. I believe that it's important to look at the good in others and have faith, understanding, and compassion regardless of their actions. When I was young I would help my sisters by doing their chores, and one day my dad looked at me and said, "Why are you doing their chores?" I looked at him and said, "They asked me to help them, and I have nothing else better to do," so you see, I have always been a giver of time and effort. After my dad passed, this only became stronger and more prominent than ever. Don't get me wrong, I loved my husband very much, but I think that was something that came with time and getting comfortable with him and my life. Oddly, I didn't even realize that I never got jealous or upset with him about what he would do, I was always able to forgive him for everything and just kept moving forward. To me, the most prominent thing were my children. I would give up the world for them to be happy. I love my children to the moon and back. They were and are my world to the day I die. I know they grew up go out on their own and live their lives to do what they want. I respect their wishes to no end. How they live is not for me to say or interfere with, because to them it is the right way. My heart will always be open to them, even though they may not feel that way about me. Because of being conned, it is theirs forever.

Book preview

Chapter One

Self-Reflection

There is a time for love of family and life. I’m sure that you are aware of all the facets of daily life. When it comes to what you do, after a while it becomes normal, a routine that you just do every day. Being a mom for many years or a dad, for example, because no one is immune to things that just happen to us each day. We all wake up, do our morning rituals, eat, and get ready for the day. Not knowing at times what the day will bring, but there are always fires to put out or things that pop up unexpectedly, and we just take care of it to the best of our abilities and forge ahead to make the day go as smooth and as easy as possible.

I want to start off telling you a little about myself. I’m 63 years old, and I think analytically and intellectually for the most part. I have had many different jobs over the years, mostly because we moved a lot. I try to think outside the box, stay happy and cheery for my family and friends, and always help when I need to or am asked to. I believe I’m a true humanitarian by nature; I believe that everyone has good in them, and that some just might not know it yet and need a person to use as a sounding board. That’s me the sounding board—ha ha, yeah; it can be a good thing but also a bad thing.

Many times people came to me for help even if I didn’t know them; I would help them, my heart just went out to them. Mostly because I wear my heart on my sleeve. People are just naturally drawn to me and talk, as if I have known them their whole lives. Yes…that is because I care about people and somehow, they sense that from me as soon as they look at me.

Now I met my husband when I was 13, he was 12 and we just hit it off, from the first time we laid eyes on each other; so yes, I do believe in true love. I believed in love, we all do, or we hope for love to open the door one day into our lives so we can feel whole. Now I was married for 45 years to Jim, the love of my life. My dream man, my soulmate and my friend. It was him and I against the world. Both sides of the family resented the fact that we were together. Both of our mothers wanted us to pick sides…but which side to pick? We didn’t pick either side, we made our own side together. It was the most logical move, really. Without thinking we became us, him and I against the world. We got married four days after his 18th birthday. We had both sides attend (he didn’t want any of the parents there, I did, because that way they knew for sure, yes…we are married) in our small apartment in Scarborough on the 23rd floor, way up in the sky. I wanted both sides there just to prove to them we were legally married. Our oldest daughter was 10 months old at the time, and is in our wedding picture. I always believed being open and honest was the right way to treat others. You see, I hate lies and betrayal more than anything in life.

Now when we got married my husband worked in a factory, but always wanted to be a policeman. But he was still young and couldn’t even apply for a job with them till he was 21, so he bided his time till he could apply. Just before his 21st birthday he applied and believe it or not he got a job with the local police department. We were so proud and it was an exciting time for him. Our home life was full of love, happiness, and joy. We were happy a couple, so much in love and being parents, we felt like we were on top of the world really. We did everything together. We enjoyed doing things as a family.

Now my husband ended up going to police college; it was paid by the police department and he was paid to go. He spent three months in Almer for the course and passed. When he got back, he was on the road taking care of people; that’s why he wanted to be a policeman by the way, because he wanted to help people. I thought that was a commendable reason for him to be one and I backed him up 100 per cent. I think you would do the same as I did, for sure.

Everything was going great and there is a reason for this story, so bear with me please. He was working, and just after about 18 months of being hired on we had a very tragic incident. You see, my husband was on the police baseball team; he was up to bat and the pitcher threw a wild ball. I was tending to our second daughter at the time as she was just a few months old. I knew he was at bat, and I heard the sound of a pop, like he had hit a long drive ball out of the field. I turned to look and there was my husband lying on the ground, motionless. I darted over to him and he started to stir a bit, but I knew he wasn’t right. Without thinking I ran off the field and darted to get the car. I even drove it right onto the baseball diamond so that we could load him in the car. Funny thing, none of the police officers even thought to come help me with him.

Off I went to the doctor’s office a couple of miles away; I knew he had to be seen right away. When I got him there the doctor said he needs to go to the hospital, but instead of saying we are sending him by ambulance he gave me the option to drive him, and I said yes, of course I will take him. They had called ahead to Newmarket to expect us there. When we got there, they started to assess the injury; they decided to send him to a hospital in Toronto that specialized in head injuries.

He went by ambulance, and I drove to the hospital to be with him. The specialist came in, who happened to be the top neurosurgeon in Canada, and he told me that he had a star fracture to the skull and cerebral hemorrhaging, and that he would have to do burr hole surgery to relieve the pressure on his brain. But now because of the medications given to him, they had to wait till they had dissipated out of his system. Then due to negligence (an intern who felt bad that my husband was in pain), two hours before surgery an intern gave him a shot of pain killers, which delayed him being able to have the surgery. In the meantime, the surgeon gave him pills to counteract the swelling on his brain. Because of this, they canceled the surgery altogether, as for some reason the swelling was reducing on its own. But he would have to take these pills forever.

He ended up having paraphasia, which is something a two-year-old would have, where they have difficulty saying words. He would twist the words around; like instead of Pontiac he would say Pontipac. He had to go for speech therapy for six months. At least he had job security, which was lucky because he had only just passed the probation period. So they couldn’t do anything but pay for his work and benefits. Now I’m coming to why I told you this; you see, that head injury changed the man I married.

He became abusive and angry all the time (but only with me). It didn’t matter what it was for, he was just angry. If the children did something he didn’t like he wanted to strike them, and I would jump in front of them and get the blows. I had to protect them, and also save my husband somehow. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t tell his work because he was a police officer, after all. Both sides of the family hated each other and would have loved for him and I to break up. I was embarrassed to tell our friends because they were friends to both of us, so you see I had no one to confide in at all. I was alone on this one, without help or aid. I also mostly believed in our vows: for better or worse, in sickness and in health. I had his back. So logically I had to help him, protect him, and above all love him, till death do us part. Also, after he was cleared to go back to work he was warned that a sudden blow to the head would kill him. So that was playing on my mind for the 25 years he was on the force, too. Because according to him, the pain was so bad that he started drinking. He became a closet alcoholic; yes, and a bad one at that. He was an angry and abusive drunk, and I lived with that for the whole time he was on the force.

I think you’re starting to see the picture I am trying to draw for you. He was jealous of every man that showed me any attention, on top of everything else. I ended up only being allowed to go to work, home, and to buy groceries, nothing more. Oh, and to the liquor store. I was used to abuse and being mistreated; it was my new norm.

My husband passed away on December 21, 2016, and my life stopped that day. I was lost and alone. Basically, I hid from the world after that, till the spring of 2021.

It is important to look at who you really are. Knowing yourself is a key way to prevent a con from happening. A good exercise here would be to write down things in your past, good and bad, to help you understand who you are. Please take the time for yourself, because the people running a con are going to want to know everything about you. Yet they won’t tell you anything intimate or personal about themselves.

Chapter Two

First Contact

Now to tell you the why and the how of how I was conned. What happened to me? I’ll tell you in hopes that you will learn from what I uncovered only after I realized it was too late to fix the damage the con did to me. Please take note of this because I don’t want you to go through the pain and suffering I had to go through, and still am going through to this day. It was almost four and a half years after my husband passed away. As usual I was in my room, keeping away from my family, basically keeping to myself. I felt numb and was feeling very uninvolved with everything. Basically I felt like I was only existing, but I didn’t realize that till much later, because I wasn’t aware of my own thoughts.

It was the spring of 2021, an early summer day. I’m an early riser and went on my Facebook because that is how I see what my children are up to. That’s when I noticed a request from the person I will call The Good Doctor. I was attracted to his looks, to be honest. I wanted to see what he was about; I found out he was a doctor. Wow, a doctor! A neurosurgeon, at that!! Yes, that intrigued me a lot. I love a man with a brain. In all honesty I had a sexual attraction to him almost instantly. That to me was something I never felt in my life towards another man except my late husband, and I really wanted to get to know him. He was a widower, just like I was a widow, so I felt an instant connection before I even accepted the friend request from him. It felt like we had things in common, really. I thought to myself that maybe we could be friends.

I even started thinking maybe I could find someone who would love me for me, be there for me, and I could love them too. This was something I really wanted more than anything. I wished for it a couple years after my late husband passed away. I had it written down on a paper; it was my wish list: to have someone again to make me feel whole. I’m sure you have felt that way, too. We are human, after all, and we all have needs. I was captivated from the get go; wow, a doctor and a humanitarian working for the UN on a diplomatic mission. When I read that he had been a widower for six years, and had lost his wife and daughter in a tragic car accident, I thought to myself, he knows how I feel. I should talk to him. I thought maybe he could help me in my situation, and I could help him the same way. So, I accepted his friend request. However, I really didn’t think he would talk to me. I figured this was a mistake, he was not going to accept me as a friend, as I to him was just a simple plain ordinary woman.

Now, this was kind of a surprise to me. No sooner did I say yes to the friend request, than he texted me back almost instantly. It was like a heartbeat away. He said hello and said that I was beautiful and he had to know me. Well, I laughed and said that picture is really old lol I’m old. It was a picture my sister put on for me when she set up my Facebook, from when I was in my 20’s. He said well how old are you? I said 63. He said well so am I 63. That’s not old. I said that’s not what I look like at all. He kept saying, you are beautiful. I don’t care what you look like now, you are beautiful. Well, I don’t know about you, but those words did seem nice to hear. Don’t you think? When was the last time anyone said that to me? I was already liking him, being naïve. Well, in honesty it has been many years, too many years really. I liked the fact that this guy was kind of flirting with me. Wow, a doctor FLIRTING WITH ME. That was something I hadn’t had in a very long time. So now what do I say to this doctor who seems to be coming on to me, in a way? I thought okay, well I will have a friend, someone who knows what I am going through.

I basically got my composure back in the situation, and proceeded to tell him, listen, for one thing I’m not looking for a relationship. I am not ready for one was going through my mind. This was so new to me. I never thought that I would ever want to start something just for me. I was busy watching my grandchildren, helping my family, doing what was needed to help people. How can I even think of myself when I am needed to help those around me? I said to him, look if you’re a con trying to con me out of my money for me forget it. It’s NOT going to happen. You can just stop NOW.

I asked him how did he find me? He said he was looking for a relative and came across my name. He said he felt he instantly had to know me. Remember, I felt that too; plausible, right?

Well, then he started saying, look, we were meant to meet, we belong together. God has made us meet. We are somehow connected. It’s fate. I told him it was an accident, I shouldn’t have clicked on his name and that I was very sorry. But he persisted; he didn’t stop, just kept going on about what a beautiful person I was. That I have something special to offer. When a man does this, you somehow become powerless because in fact, you really didn’t know how lonely you really were. In just a few quick sentences, he has you in a very good spot for him, one that is going to in time take your breath away. He now has your full and undivided attention. Now he keeps on going, he changes the subject and starts asking questions about you. Here are a few of the questions he asked me:

What’s your favorite color?

What’s your deal breaker?

Do you work?

Do you have children?

What do you do for fun?

Where do you live?

Do you own your own home?

Now I did answer him honestly, but I did ask the same questions back to him. Some he answered, and some he omitted. The one question that stood out was my biggest deal breaker. I told him I could not tolerate lies and betrayal. He jumped in and said that he was the same way, that he hated that above all. When I asked him about his wife, he said that it was too tragic, and he had to go for therapy for a long time because the trauma was so hard on him. He said he doesn’t even want to think about it because it was too painful for him. Then he said something very strange, which I didn’t believe at first; he said he was very rich and that he would never ask me for money. He did say that after his wife died, he signed a agreement with the United Nations for a nine-year contract, and that he has been there for six. But now that he met me, he wanted to retire and be with me forever.

I really did believe that he had signed a long contract. He seemed so genuine that he was very hurt after his loss, that it was something he didn’t care about. You see, I felt the same way, I just was going through the motions of existing, really. The trauma is very real. So, I believed him.

My thought at this point was why would someone of his stature want someone like me. Well, he then ended up spending several hours texting me; he apparently owned several houses, and sent me pictures of the houses so that I could see them. He also sent a picture of himself sitting in a white coat at a desk, so I could see what he looked like. He wanted to make sure I knew he had money; for a long time, I didn’t believe him and I thought he was just giving me a line.

After a while he said we are connected, we are meant to be together. It’s fate, God wants us to be together. That was why he said we met. He said he knew I was the one for him, that he was told this, by God. He was very consistent with his words; then he asked me if I had Hangouts. Well, I didn’t even know what it was, I’d never heard of it. He said he would send the information to me and how to download it. He said being who he was, he couldn’t stay on Facebook because of the terrorists. So The Good Doctor insisted that we chat in Hangouts, which is used by the military because it is encrypted and safe.

Out of respect for the person I believed to be a real doctor, I felt it was my duty to comply with his wishes; after all, he did seem quite nice and caring to me. I had to get to know him, if you follow me. In a way I was becoming quite infatuated with the man. So, I complied and open an account with Hangouts and accepted him into my life, so to speak.

Chapter Three

Hangouts

He seemed very honored that I accepted his invitation for a one-on-one communication. Now he had me where he wanted me, in one sense—away from distractions like friends and family, to be exact. I just thought he wanted someone to talk to and still be safe in his part of the world, from terrorists.

Let’s go through some of the information I have divulge so far, shall we?

1.First thing he did was pique my interest. How? Glad you asked; he sent a very attractive picture of a man that any woman would find handsome.

2.Then he kept saying how beautiful I was, even when I said I was old. I told him I was 63, but that didn’t seem to bother him, because he was also 63, as he told me. I told him I was overweight still nothing. I said that I had false teeth and was damaged.

3.Well, he said it didn’t matter what I looked like, that it was fate. He said that it was meant to be, and that we were connected. He said the three words that make any woman feel a soft spot in their heart: I love you.

4.I told him I wasn’t a normal-minded woman, that I look at life differently and that I care about people, that I look for the good in everyone. I said in a sense I was a humanitarian. He said that I was just like him.

5.I told him I didn’t like liars and betrayal, he said he the same way.

6.He asked me to connect to a site that would keep him from harm and terrorists; I did just as he asked.

7.He said that he believed God has brought us to be together, and that it was truly love.

8.He used the love word a lot, and soulmate and that fate kept saying it was meant for us to be together.

9.He had to determine whether I had some money.

This all happened in a four-week period; I was starting to fall for him bigtime. But saying I love you back was something that did not come out till the fourth week. Once I said those words was when he started saying he wanted to retire and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. He would send me morning messages that would melt anyone’s heart;, at this point he had me not going on Facebook, and I wasn’t watching TV. He had me on the phone texting him from when I was up right until I went to bed, and even in the middle of the night. I was very much in love with him at that point.

But how did he get me to fall in love online? How is it possible after a month of talking to someone to just fall in love.? Now, one thing about me, once I realized I was conned that bothered me and I needed to find the answers. I needed to know how he did this to me. Because to tell you the truth I felt like a fool. So, I started researching.

Then came the first request from him. He wanted me to write a letter asking for a leave for him. I thought okay, that’s fine with me. He said he wanted to come to me and had applied for retirement. So, I did as he asked. About a week later I received a reply stating that I would have to pay just over $16,000 Canadian for the request to be processed. I argued with him about that and I even blocked him for two days. He sent me an email begging me to reconnect with him. Because my emotional state was anger and love it was easy for him to convince me to go back on Hangouts. I said to him I thought he was a con, and just using me to get money. He was there on my phone all the time so I couldn’t even talk to my kids about it; he told me not to, and that he would be a surprise for them all. Little did I know that I was the one who would be surprised. He used the push me-pull me technique to get me to do his wishes; that made him very happy, and he would say heart-melting words to me. I had the money and I sent it to him through a wire transfer.

That was the start of how I was conned out of $206,000. So, if I were you, please keep in mind what they do to get you to where you can’t stop, where you believe in the con more than you do your family. At one point I went to the bank to try and

Reviews for I've Been Conned

[Milott Requillo · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

The author is very sincere in her intention which is to help.