Welfare to Wisdom: One Woman's Story

By Deanna Norwood

Learn how to escape when you are disrespected and abused, either emotionally or physically by your husband and need to figure out how to plan your escape.

When you get divorced and havent worked in ten years, have no job, no car, not much education, two children to support, and no money, learn how to get your first job. Also learn what you can do if you are turned down even after you have the education. Find out how you can end up with a great job.

If you enjoyed this book or have comments, Deanna would love to hear from you at: [e-mail]. Can you get children to help with housework? It takes some doing, but you can do it. Your children can graduate from high school, not have a police record, not be addicted to any substances, and still be speaking to you. In other words, you can be a successful single parent.

Learn how to figure out how to change what youre attracted to; and why you always pick the wrong guys. Learn how you can go back to school, date, keep up the house, and raise kids. Also learn that dreams really can come true, even when you feel you are down and out and you feel hopeless.

She did itso can you!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Nov 8, 2012
• ISBN: 9781452557441

Deanna Norwood

Deanna Norwood was born in 1945 and lived 2 1/2 years in Germany while working as a Systems Engineer for a major defense contractor. She now resides in Southern California with her Golden Retriever. She lacks 100 hours of client therapy for having a Marriage, Family and Child Counseling Degree in Psychology and 3 other classes for her degree in Computer Science. She was hired full time as a programmer before she could finish her Bachelor Degree programs. She has been the author of several training manuals and has held training seminars to teach people how to use those products. She is available to speak on any and all subjects that she touches on in this book. She believes that anyone can MAKE IT in this world if they just DON’T GIVE UP! Everyone has things ‘happen’ to them. Even little children learn that when they fall down, all they have to do is brush themselves off, look around and see what made them fall, and then just keep on running.

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Copyright © 2012 Deanna Norwood

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012915229

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-4525-5745-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-5746-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-5744-1 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 11/05/2012

CONTENTS

Review By J. Johnson

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1 Deciding to Get Divorced

Chapter 2 Getting It Together

Chapter 3 How I Handled Having to Move to get Better Jobs

Chapter 4 How I juggled children, working, school and dating

Chapter 5 How I Adjusted to the Empty Nest

Chapter 6 Coming Back to the States and Buying My Home

Chapter 7 With a Little Wisdom I Made IT – So Can You

About The Author

An inspirational true story about one woman’s ability to overcome the adversities of divorce from a mentally and emotionally abusive husband, living on welfare with little education, no car and raising two children. She manages to get enough education to enable her to overcome those obstacles, and through perseverance, to obtain her dreams of traveling to Europe and owning her own home.

REVIEW BY J. JOHNSON

I have been blessed to meet Dee Vreeland (Deanna Norwood) and she always has a smile and a word of encouragement. After reading her book, Welfare to Wisdom, I asked her if I could send her this review. This is a must have book. She writes with a style that gives insight, humor and education on daily life. You will laugh, cry and smile all at the same time. You will gain the courage to dream big and go after your dreams. She did it and so can you!

Read this book in peace, unity and love.

J. Johnson – Blessings to you

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I thank God for the following people who miraculously came into my life and are responsible for helping or encouraging me to write this book.

I wish to thank Neal and Betty Macurda for befriending me at a time, when I really needed a friend. They introduced me to Unity San Diego and got my spiritual growth renewed.

Madeline McGowan for teaching an Autobiography class that started me writing and the rest of the class for their encouragement.

Thanks go to Pat Case, Ben Picone and Don Earley for their encouragement and friendship and Diana Proud-Madruga for opening her home and heart to me when I needed it most.

I also need to thank Reverend Blair Tabor and Unity San Diego and its parent organization – Unity Village – for their lessons of love, enlightenment and encouragement to become the best person that I can be and to acknowledge my relationship with God and how He will be the best motivator in my life.

I must also not forget to thank my new friend Esther for spending her valuable time editing and commenting on my original manuscript. Her edits and thoughts were invaluable.

And last but not least, thanks to my son, Ken, for his encouragement, protection and love that literally saved my life. He is now free to continue his life and career knowing I am now safe and have a circle of friends.

I also acknowledge Balboa Press, a subsidiary of Hay House Publishing, for being there to help new authors like myself get started.

INTRODUCTION

It is February 1976, I am a 30 year old woman who has been married for 12 years and has two boys, one 4 and another 8. I have just found out my husband is having an affair with my previous next door neighbor and after serious consideration have come to the conclusion that I would definitely be happier living alone than another day with my lying cheating husband. It has not been an easy decision for me since I don’t believe in divorce. I have prayed every day for the past year for guidance.

I suspected I had made a mistake in marrying him six months after we married, when he got drunk for the first time and threw the phone across the room that I was using to call his parents for help. He had ripped the front door open and thrown the kitchen chair out of the dining room window. However, I figured I had made my bed so I must lay in it. That is what I was told by my Mother, relatives, friends, In-laws, books I had read and clergy that I consulted.

There had been many arguments and problems over the years but it hadn’t been all bad. When he was sober, he was a lot of fun. He was always the center of attention at parties and was the best joke teller in the room. However, when he got drunk, his personality turned violent. He wasn’t violent against me just inanimate objects. He was always sorry when he threw a temper tantrum. I always forgave him, after all, I yelled at him too, so I was partly to blame. We had two children I had to think about. During the ten years we were married, I hadn’t been allowed to work. I had a lot to consider. How was I to support them? How would we eat? Where would we live? He has a great job. How would we survive without him? Therefore, how could I possibly leave him?

He almost had me convinced I was stupid; with his little remarks like: I couldn’t walk and chew gum at the same time, if he weren’t there. Although later I noticed I only had the stupid tendencies when he entered the room, otherwise, I was just fine and extremely intelligent according to a girlfriend. In high school, I remember taking an IQ test and the result was 142. I remember that as being pretty intelligent. I don’t think you just lose that.

I discovered his latest affair a year ago and told him then, that if he didn’t end the affairs, I would leave him. I have spent the last year getting prepared for the worst – just in case. Even God says adultery is a reason for divorce. Maybe I don’t have to lie in this bed forever, after all. I have put some credit cards and a checking account in my name only, and started saving change so that in a year I would have a few dollars of my own. Well, the worse happened. Let the story begin…

CHAPTER 1

Deciding to Get Divorced

My Worse Nightmare Happened

One night I came home and my girlfriend, who used to live next door to us, came over with a date and wanted me to watch her two children. She was going out for the evening and that was fine with me. We had watched each other’s children many times in the past so this was not a surprise. She still lived in the back country so we didn’t get together as much as we used to but we were still friends. She had called and I was expecting her and the children. However, the conversation I overhead in the kitchen between my husband and her was VERY disturbing. He was saying he didn’t want her to go out on a date that night with this man because he was jealous of her going out on a date with someone. My husband was furious with her for doing this.

Can you imagine what went on in my mind hearing that? I never knew they were involved before that - my husband and my friend. Oh, my God! I knew he had affairs – but with my friend! I felt betrayed by them both. What was I going to do? I wanted to scream and yell and throw a huge temper tantrum; but there were four children in the house and two of them were mine. I usually don’t throw fits anyway but if I were going to start, this would be the time and this would be a reason to have one, in my opinion. However, I