Male and Female Made in God’s Image: Rediscovering the Masculine and Feminine Principles of the Human Order

By Frances O'Dair

In this era of distorted ideas about our inherent roles, identities, and purposes as men and women, it has never been as important that we seek reconciliation in marriage and families so there can be a more rational approach to the real problems the whole world suffers. We must disseminate God’s truth and extinguish the lies and myths that Satan has embedded into the hearts and minds of many people.
Building on these ideas, in Male and Female Made in God’s Image, author Frances O’Dair offers her perspective on dating, marriage, and family, which she believes reflects the experiences of most married couples before the sexual revolution of the 1960s. She encourages men and women to reflect on the wise or self-serving natures of their past dating and mating choices. If we can stop the reckless self-gratifying use of human sexuality with our children, our loving direction and understanding of God’s truth can set them free from the temptations that have been passed down to recent generations. We must be ready to admit that sexual freedom is a myth and isn’t intended for the well-being of men, women, children, and the unborn.
This faith-inspired treatise explores the true source of happiness, meaning, and fulfilment that God has planned for everyone within the sacrament of marriage and the family circle.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Apr 4, 2019
• ISBN: 9781973657231

Frances O'Dair

Frances O’Dair and her husband, George, have two sons and six grandchildren. Their successful marriage of fifty-five years serves as the inspiration for Male and Female Made in God’s Image. She is also the author of two unpublished works reflecting on her experiences as a teacher and parent. She currently lives in Cornwall, Ontario.

Book preview

Prologue

This book is a personal testimony of my catholic faith. My perspective is that of a person truly convicted in the loving intent of God’s Ten Commandments. I interpret the life of Jesus as a testimony to these laws as inherent to God’s purpose for our existence on this earth. Each of us is designed and intended to acknowledge and affirm the inherent dignity and potential for good for which we’re all created. We are all God’s children.

I fully recognize how God’s Holy Spirit has dwelt in my heart, mind, and soul since I was a small child, even in the times when I chose to ignore His presence and wisdom. I recognize the simple message of loving others, as we want to be loved, repeated throughout the Old and New Testaments. There is nothing more I need to know.

I don’t feel it necessary to quote scripture. The source of my personal truth is alive and well in the divine truths, imparted throughout my life. My family life, Catholic education, participation in the Church, and fifty-five years of married life have brought me to a blessed place when I’m at peace with God and those around me. I believe I speak for many of my contemporaries who have experienced similar upbringing and lasting marriages.

I believe the Holy Spirit has a unique purpose for everyone. I responded to His inspiration to write a commentary on the brokenness of marriage and family life. My intent is to help the reader understand the need for reconciliation and understanding between men and women concerning our shared-purpose on this earth. I believe it’s time to inspire people to stand on our strong beliefs in our triune God. We should be open to the Holy Spirit, Who desires Christians to be reconciled with our heavenly Father and His Son.

Jesus knows all about the frailties of human nature and the complexities that come into our lives as the consequences of our self-serving free will and that of others. The benevolent nature of the Holy Spirit wants to help each of us overcome the things that drag us down and frustrate the peace He intends for each of us. The Holy Spirit is whispering to each of us who are aware of His presence in our lives, to become fully alive in Him and be inspired to change the world.

Throughout the centuries, the Church provided the masculine rationale for following the Old and New Testaments. In this age, when the beauty and truth of femininity is denied by women themselves, in response to the myths and lies of modern feminism, it’s time for wise women to speak out. Although many of us had careers outside the home, our roles as wives and mothers were paramount to our happiness and fulfilment. We need to help men rediscover the meaning and fulfilment that comes with fidelity and loyalty to one’s wife and children. Men and women are created for each other. God intends us to become the best versions of ourselves, through a complementary exchange of who we are as male and female.

Introduction

Our Human Being

T his book has been a continual revisiting of a commentary on the changing status of traditional marriage and family. My perspective is that of a happily married woman and the mother of two young sons, at the onset of the sexual revolution that began in the late 1960s. Each time I think my book is complete, the Holy Spirit inspires me to be more-attentive to His truth concerning the human condition. I can no longer delay presenting information that addresses our critical social problems. This book recognizes the root causes of modern-day social problems and suggests ways to address some of them, so we can bring about real change for men, women, children, and the unborn.

Most of my original text comes from the perspective of the Judeo-Christian values that once guided Christian marriages and families. My generation grew into adulthood during the 1950s. We shared a common sense of what is good for society as a whole. There was an implicit understanding of the common good that all social institutions attempted to achieve for family, community, and country. My life experiences, Catholic background, and firm conviction in a magnificent, generous God provide the basis for my writing.

In my first attempts, I searched for an understanding of marriage through the eyes of God. In order to achieve this, I knew I needed to first come to understand His one being in a triune relationship. In that period, I imagined many different versions of the interior being of God. The Holy Spirit gave me sufficient time to realize I was going around in circles, and I couldn’t know God completely if I didn’t surrender to His authority.

The Holy Spirit helped me realize I must search my own truth first and discern how and when He has been with me throughout my life. He helped me appreciate how I’ve been blessed since my childhood and in my marriage. He would help me reach the minds and hearts of people, rather than allowing me to pontificate without providing real solutions to the social dilemma of our times. The Holy Spirit expected me to be patient and allow Him to direct me to a new understanding of marriage, according to Catholic and Christian theology.

I’ve always been aware of the differences between my husband and myself. Our personalities and family backgrounds are very different. As I reflected on our lasting marriage, I recognized how we’ve been able to appreciate our individual strengths, while accommodating our different needs. The Holy Spirit was preparing me to discover how our relationship reflected certain masculine and feminine principles that possess the absolute truth of the natural order and purposes of our innate natures as male and female.

The Holy Spirit has used my personal experiences, the positive and negative, to help me understand His divine plan for the marital union and the family dynamic that ensues from the mutual love between husband and wife. These guiding principles reveal the reason and purposes for our unique, engendered identities and roles that are designed and intended to be manifest in an intimate and committed marital relationship. This unique relationship brings the potential for new life, a child who will bring mutual joy and purpose for our love and life together.

The Holy Spirit directed me to the latest scientific discoveries concerning the physiological or emotional-biological aspects of the human bonding process. Man’s intelligence comes from God. Science is a collective intelligence, inspired and revealed in response to His will. Scientific discovery and technological innovation are man’s sharing in God’s divine intelligence, which is expressed for our good.

God intervenes in human affairs according to His time. I firmly believe the whole world has arrived at a time when it’s both crucial and relevant for everyone to come to know and understand the intent and meaning of the masculine and feminine principles of the human order. It’s time for people to realize we are created in God’s image. He is all for the good. He is all for our good. The Old and New Testaments aren’t the complete story of God. The Holy Spirit is with us now, to guide us in the final chapter of God’s magnificent everlasting love story.

Chapter 1

The Holy Spirit Within

A nyone might rightly ask how I might claim to understand what God intends for marriage and the family. I’m as surprised as anyone that the Holy Spirit would inspire me to be one of His spokespersons for His truth concerning marriage. How did I arrive at the place I am today? All I can say is, if a person surrenders to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit, only good things can come about. The Holy Spirit can’t be sought for one’s own benefit. He is devoted to the part of me who is in loving relationship with you and open to new relationship with others.

Unknown to me, my personal relationship with the Holy Spirit truly began in my last four years of teaching in a junior kindergarten classroom. One evening, I had an unexpected surge of creativity, a simple concept that propelled me forward. The event might be understood as a defining event, an aha moment, that captured my imagination and inspired me to develop an early learning program. At the time I laughed and suggested it must be the Holy Spirit. I had never experienced such an exhilarating moment. It wasn’t until several years later that I realized my first reaction was true. He was my inspiration. He is my inspiration. The Holy Spirit had a special purpose for my love of children and my deep desire to help all of them learn with confidence. He sparked a proactive need to make this a reality.

After retirement, I produced a marketable product and spent almost two decades attempting to reach the interest of publishers and the Ontario education system on the merits of the program. At the turn of the century, I received an interesting publication from one of my peers. The Early Years Study, compiled by the Ontario Government, provided neuroscience and psychological enlightenment on early brain development. There was an emphasis on the importance of parental communication and interaction with a child from infancy and during the first three years of a child’s life. Parents are, in fact, the first and most important teachers and programmers of their child’s brain.

My new understanding of early brain development and of the specific windows of opportunity during which different parts of the brain are most effectively developed made me realize my learning approach would be even more effective and relevant in the child’s preschool environment than at school. I realized the critical importance of the parents’ interaction and communication in the early brain development of the child. Enlightened and inspired once more, I decided to write a parents’ manual based on my knowledge and experiences as both parent and teacher. I continue to believe the insights presented in this manual, Focusing on the Basics, will make parents aware of their critical importance in the early formative years of a child’s brain, the developing intelligence and the effects of their efforts on their child’s life potential.

During intense introspection about both works, I was able to see the full potential the Holy Spirit had foreseen in my earlier work. He knows what is in the deep recesses of my mind. In light of the severe learning problems found in modern classrooms, He showed me that this early learning program actually provides a format that can teach, reach, detect, and address individual learning strengths and needs. There is no need for any child to be lost in the school system. What a period of exhilaration and hope!

After a few more years trying to demonstrate the value of the early learning program and my parents’ manual, I had another of my aha moments. I realized the Holy Spirit was inspiring me to return to writing my thoughts concerning sexual freedom and its impact on heterosexual relationships, marriage, and family. I was completely satisfied with my steadfast attempts to share my experiences as parent and teacher. My disappointment was for the children and parents who could and can benefit from both teaching aids. However, it was time to move on, and listen to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit.

In an earlier attempt to write on the decline of marriage and family, I was in a more negative place, trying to be hopeful when it seemed there was little hope for change. This time, I was in a good place where I acknowledged the blessings in my life, rather than focusing on situations I couldn’t control. I believe the Holy Spirit makes His presence known in our peaceful moments. After all, He comes to bring the goodwill, harmony, and peace that coexist in our triune God. He comes to justify our own being as children of God.

I believe the Holy Spirit has used my steadfast, unyielding personality to go on a journey with Him back to the beginning of my own life, so I would eventually be inspired to go back to a time when there was only God-Good. Throughout my life, I’ve been a firm believer in God, but admit to being more worldly than spiritually inclined. The Holy Spirit has interjected His wisdom throughout my writing, encouraging me to really come to know myself, as He sees I should be. He shows I’m at my best when I’m all about Him. My new self-knowledge has helped me understand the triune nature of God that is revealed through His self-knowledge in His persons as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

I believe the Holy Spirit knows it’s necessary for me to delve into my personal experiences as a teacher and parent, so I can speak honestly. Hence the other two books. Having completed these two major tasks, I willingly follow Him through an examination of my married life. The Holy Spirit, who has been with me, through fifty-five years of married life, has helped me assess the ways my husband and I have managed to get along quite well, despite our polar differences in some areas. Opposites do attract. God has a reason for creating us so differently. He has embedded a profound purpose in the differences of our engendered natures as male and female. Our differences are intended to unite rather than divide us.

The Holy Spirit knows I’ve reflected on my personal truth. He knows I recognize the blessings and the difficulties that arise because of the differences between myself as a woman and my husband as a man. He wants me to realize the importance of those happy, nostalgic days of the 1950s, when I was growing into adulthood. It was a time of relative well-being for most people. There was little divorce and family breakdown. It might be assumed that the majority of married couples worked together for the sake of the children and the family circle. I’m fully aware my life has been blessed, and my personal peace and well-being have been interrupted only intermittently

I truly believe the Holy Spirit is present at all times for our personal benefit, waiting to guide us in the decisions we make. I truly believe a baptized Christian is filled with the Holy Spirit and sealed with Him in the sacrament of confirmation. When we receive the body of Jesus in the Holy Eucharist, He is accompanied by the Father and the Holy Spirit. Each of our bodies is a host to Jesus’s very body and a cohost with Him in the reception of His Father and Holy Spirit. In all the sacraments, we’re reconciled to the trinity of God in our body, mind, and heart.

Before Jesus ascended into heaven, He assured His apostles that if two or more people meet in His name, His Holy Spirit is present. The Holy Spirit makes Himself known to us through our happy interactions with each other. A simple smile, allowing someone to pass in front of you, and offering an arm to someone crossing the street are only a few of the countless ways to express the benevolent nature of the Holy Spirit residing in us.

In His life journey, Jesus embraces the triune nature of God. As the only begotten Son of God and the Son of man, Jesus expresses the goodwill of the Father in everything He says and does, just as the Son eternally reflects the will of the Father in heaven. The Holy Spirit is present in Jesus from the moment of His conception. He guides Jesus throughout His lifetime according to the truths of His Father, who is always with Him. The Holy Spirit allows Jesus to achieve the ideal of the humanity God wishes for all of us. Jesus has left us His Holy Spirit so we might become like Him. The Holy Spirit helps us understand that we can achieve the Father’s ideal for us only by inviting Him in to show us how, just as He did with Jesus. When we accept the truth and are open to the Holy Spirit within, we’re more likely to lose ourselves in His wisdom as we begin to admit our limitations and deny our egotistical ways.

Jesus, the man, is the perfect image of His mother Mary, who is perfectly divine, having achieved the ultimate dream God has intended for all women according to the feminine principle. As God, Jesus is the perfect image of the Son, who reveals and reflects all that is benevolent, good, and right in His trinity. Mary is all that God imagined, pure in body and pure in heart, mind, and soul. Since the moment of her conception, Mary has been married in perfect union with the will of the Father, the righteousness of the Son, and the peace of the Holy Spirit, through which all good things have their beginning. As I write, I envision both Mary and Her Holy Spirit speaking as one humanly divine voice. When I refer to the Holy Spirit, keep in mind that the heart and soul of Mary are implied.

Signs of the Presence of the Holy Spirit

When a person loses a loved one, there’s a tendency to look for signs that his or her soul is at peace. We share all our good memories with each other, envisioning the departed one as worthy to rest in heaven. It’s very comforting to see a butterfly flitter about or some other natural but expressive event. God wants us to be comforted in all the things He has created, for the purpose of soothing our physical and emotional hunger and thirst. The Holy Spirit wants each of us to know that the whole of the universal order has been created by Him, for us. He wants each of us to know He places each of us center and front, gifting us with the potential to love as He loves and exist as He exists, in loving relationship with the Father and Son.

At Jesus’s baptism, the voice of His Father affirms Him as His beloved Son, while the Holy Spirit settles above, signifying the peace that comes in the mutual affirmation of Father and Son, on earth and in heaven. Many people claim to recognize the Holy Spirit in signs of nature. Many people are unaware He might make His presence known in a million different ways through the obedient angels. We can’t command the Holy Spirit to respond immediately or in exactly the way we wish. He discerns the when and the how.

We should be aware that His silence might be His way of responding to something that doesn’t serve our best interests either now or later. The angels await His beckoning to present some sign that the Holy Spirit is really present with us. Many people feel unworthy of God’s attention, so they miss simple, awesome moments intended to be significant to their life. We don’t witness the public miracles of earlier Christian times. The wisdom of the Holy Spirit tells us we need to be open to His whisperings all the time. No matter how unworthy we might be, God looks upon us as being very worthy and dearly loved by Him.

During the last five years, I’ve been aware of His presence, because I continue to actively call upon His wisdom to accompany me in my writing. Sometimes, I feel I’m simply typing the words and thoughts He presents to my mind and heart. At times, I feel an actual warmth and emotional connection to Him. I believe the Holy Spirit has different ways of letting each of us know He is present and truly interested in what we are all about.

I believe He speaks to us in certain ways because we’re each unique and designed for a particular purpose. If we can truly believe God wants to be in us and that He participates in life events, we will be more open and present to His Holy Spirit. I’m convinced the idea for the children’s early program I wrote so many years ago was truly inspired by the Holy Spirit. He knows the lengths He needs to go to arouse a response to His calling. He knows me better than I know myself. He knows I love teaching, so He got my early attention in this way while I was unaware of what He held for my future.

The Holy Spirit Brings Me Peace

The first time I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me was more than thirty-five years ago. The rhythm method of birth control wasn’t viable for my personal reproductive cycle, as I learned in the conception and birth of my delightful second son. I used the birth control pill for several years because my husband was satisfied with our two boys. (I was beyond childbearing before I learned there are more effective methods for tracking fertility than the rhythm method.) In the 1980s, medical studies were beginning to show that the birth control pill was dangerous for women who had a family history of heart disease or cancer. Now that the side effects of abortion are known, I think the studies might have implicated the dangers of the pill and abortion as well.

After careful consideration, I was given the option to undergo a tubal ligation, which would render me infertile. I was satisfied with my decision but knew my choice would require confession. Every now and then, the Vatican spoke on the evil and sinfulness of contraception. Each time, guilty feelings would overwhelm me. I would feel unworthy to receive the Eucharist.

I remember one aha moment as though it happened yesterday. I was brushing my teeth when these words came to my consciousness: You haven’t done anything to lessen Us. You have simply changed what might have been. From that moment on, I recognized just how much God desires each of us to live in peace without worry for the future or regret for things we can’t change. What is done should be left in the past. I became truly aware of God as a holy Trinity in the simple word us.

Since then, I’ve accepted the reality of my frailty and egoism. I realize no one can ever live as selflessly as Jesus. When certain responsibilities weigh upon us, we need to make a decision that might compromise our deep convictions in some way. I believe that if we are absolutely convinced in all the teachings of the Church and are mindful of God’s desire for our peace, we will make the wisest choices possible. We will consider the outcome for ourselves and those we love. Although the Father can’t help but look upon each of us in the ideal image He has created us for, He is able to empathize with us through the compassionate heart of Jesus. God is mindful of the harsh realities and temptations of the human condition because He lived among us, as one of us.

Little Miracles and Signs from the Holy Spirit

In recent years, the Holy Spirit has given me signs of His presence. He knows I love to solve problems of different sorts. The most significant message occurred two years ago. On arriving home from Mass one Sunday, I found a tiny folded piece of paper on the hall table. On opening it, I recognized my granddaughter’s hand-printed name. It was the ticket she’d purchased at an afternoon tea that was held the previous month.

As soon as I unfolded the paper and saw her name, I recognized it immediately as a sign from the Holy Spirit. He was responding in a very direct manner to something I had been concerned about for a while. Unlike her siblings, this granddaughter had not been baptized because of her parents’ separation and their lack of concern for her spirituality or relationship with God. As a parishioner who sent an anniversary card to the baptized children, I’m aware most familial situations aren’t open to the spiritual aspect of life. I questioned the purpose of having a child baptized when parents have no intention to follow up with their responsibility in nurturing the child’s faith. Seeing my granddaughter’s name on this ticket was significant. I knew it was the Holy Spirit’s way of telling me she should be baptized. Didn’t Jesus ask to be baptized?

When I mentioned this remarkable event to friends, they had various reactions. A few women said nothing, and a few shared their personal experiences with the Holy Spirit. One woman couldn’t identify with my experience at all and said I must have placed the ticket on the table myself.

Only the Holy Spirit could arrange such a mysterious event. I have a great imagination, but I couldn’t have manipulated this situation. I need to assume my granddaughter’s guardian angel might have scooped her ticket up from the bowl and held it until directed by the Holy Spirit. I believe small but meaningful miracles are occurring regularly in the lives of people who never give God a thought or, more regrettably, believe He never gives them a thought. It’s a wonderful feeling to know that God is actually here in our life, using His angels in different ways for our personal benefit.

There were two unusual incidents in which my husband and I worked together to solve a mystery. One situation concerned the spare bedroom where a chair had been moved away from the open closet door. In the ceiling of the closet, the access was slightly ajar, and we noticed mice droppings scattered on the carpet below. How could a mouse open or move any of these things? The droppings motivated us to set up a trap, and we caught two tiny mice within a few days. What is the meaning of this incident? I believe the Holy Spirit used this occasion to remind me how my husband and I tend to cooperate in finding solutions to our problems and how we are accustomed to supporting each other in the various aspects of our life.

The other incident was in the search for a key to unlock my husband’s gun case, which stores his prized Luger pistol. When we had searched in every imaginable place, I took one last look in the covered dish where I had first looked. The key was there. My husband is a realist, so I didn’t discuss the situation with him. However, I believe this was another opportunity for the Holy Spirit to affirm our roles as helpmates. He had caused us not to see the key or had arranged for it to disappear for the moment, knowing I wouldn’t give up the search for something my husband wanted.

On one grocery shopping excursion, the credit card machine was out of order, and I couldn’t recall the code of my card. The cashier kindly put my groceries aside while I went home to get the necessary cash. Before leaving the store, I tried to remove the personal token I used to unlock my cart from the others. I was unable to remove the token, so I simply left the cart and went home to get money to pay for my groceries. When I was back with the cash, I told the cashier I would need a new token, so I made the purchase. As I was placing it in my purse, there was my old token lying at the bottom in plain sight. How did that token get there? I now had two. I realize how easily I was able to credit this little miracle as a sign the Holy Spirit is always with me.

Do you ever hit all the green lights, or does a new cashier open when you’re about to stand in a long line at the counter next to it? We tend to have moments when we think luck is on our side. I often wonder if these aren’t little ways the Holy Spirit wants to bring peaceful moments into our lives. He is with us, and we never know when or in what ingenious way He will reveal His presence. If only we knew every little event in which God is giving a helpful hand! If only we could understand the part He plays in our lives, whether we’re aware of it or not! How many times have we been removed from danger or avoided an accident or even death for having responded to a little voice? Perhaps we’re lucky we aren’t aware of all the things that might have been, if not for the grace of God and the intercession of our guardian angels!

Chapter 2

Who Is God? Who Are We?

G od says human beings are created in His Image. A Christian belief in the holy Trinity can guide us to an understanding of how we, self-serving people, can possibly hope to become like God. The word hope is vital to understanding God. Hope came into being when God conceived of human beings. God is perfect and complete, so there is no need for hope within Himself. Hope has its origin in the imagination of God, in which all things are made possible because of His love for all creation. We must believe hope is eternal because God is eternally true to us. He won’t forget the awesome way in which He has created us. He will continue to hope human beings will eventually achieve our heaven on earth through the guidance of His Holy Spirit. It must begin in marriage and the family, where parents and children exist in mutually affirming relationships.

God’s imagination finds its source in the loving affirmation of all that is good. His imagination is pure and full of good intent, a perfectly harmonious blending of good will, righteousness, wisdom, and justice. As human beings, we’ve been created with the potential to discover our personal goodness through the kind affirmation of others. God knows we can’t do it on our own. We must be loved before we can express love. We must feel self-worth in order to affirm the worth and dignity of others.

God possesses a hope unparalleled by human hope. He allows sufficient time to test the potential of our ability to love as He intends human beings to love. From the beginning, He knows He will need to live among us so He might demonstrate His love, which reaches outward to all human beings. Wise parents do this with their children. Wise and loving parents intervene, when necessary, for the sake of the child’s well-being. God knows human beings can’t achieve His expectations unless He intervenes in our lives. He chose obedient people to help prophesy and prepare for His coming. He chose a humble woman and man to bring the prophecy to life.

God’s hope for humankind is renewed in Jesus, who is both God and man. In order to be like Jesus, we must make room for Him in our hearts and minds, so we’ll be motivated to love Him with the good use of our bodies. We need to surrender our self-serving ego, and open ourselves to the Holy Spirit of Jesus, who guided His human nature in perfect agreement to God’s will. God is relying on faithful Christians to open our hearts and minds to the Holy Spirit so we can be like Jesus and inspire others to become followers with us. God’s will shall be done in His good time. We can’t escape His goodness, righteousness, and justice.

***

I believe God is not fully known, recognized, and understood in His triune nature. In fact, He is misunderstood by many faithful believers. Otherwise, Catholics and other Christians would not deny and ignore His importance in our lives. The simplest way to describe His holy Trinity is God’s full self-knowledge as the living, present, never-changing holy benevolent Spirit. There is only good in God’s manner of being. He wishes no less for human beings than the goodness He Himself enjoys. Unfortunately, our self-serving egos impede our own desire for happiness while too often interfering with that of others as well.

The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit exist in the mutual affirmation of God’s total being that is all good, all right, and justified in each person. There is absolutely no doubt in His self-knowledge. God has gifted human beings with qualities we can use to affirm the worthiness of each other through mutual service. The Golden Rule, to love one another as we ourselves want to be loved, should make God’s intent for humankind very clear. If I need help today, I should be willing to help my friend tomorrow. If I expect to be treated with respect, I should be willing to treat others with respect. How many opportunities do we have each day to demonstrate the wisdom of this simple rule of mutual kindness and affirmation, the basis for the commandments?

Throughout history, some people have achieved personal well-being and happy relationships while others have not. The wars that have been fought throughout human history give evidence that the quest of individuals for personal power and wealth continues to trump the desire for mutual harmony, peace, and well-being. People who value marriage and family above all other things are most likely to achieve inner peace, contentment, and the shared-harmony we’re created to enjoy.

Although my mother was a widow, my experiences as a sibling to four sisters and two brothers give me reason to assume most mothers and fathers were doing a good job in raising responsible, well-meaning children. I emphasize the importance of a mother and father in the nurturing and human development of children. I often need to stop and remember I didn’t have a father, but I did have a wonderful mother. I remember how I wished I had a father. I knew things would have been very different and easier for my mother if he had lived while we were growing up.

My mother was exceptional. Somehow, she managed to assume both roles of mother and father. It was necessary for my mother to achieve the potential of her feminine predisposition in order to respond to our needs with unconditional love. She needed to assume male responsibilities as well. My mother carried out her responsibility with the grace of God. She is responsible for bringing her five daughters up to be strong women. We were able to assume our roles as wives and mothers while encouraging and supporting our husbands in becoming good fathers. My sisters and I assumed the feminine intuition and insight needed to understand, respect, and encourage our husbands in their masculine roles and purposes.

***

What happened to begin the decay of the family in the 1970s? When I began to search for answers in my second literary attempt to address the problems in marriage and family, I was in a positive position. I concentrated on the success of my marriage, which has been very fulfilling even with the occasional ups and downs. Although materialism and technology have affected how we live as a society, I believe sexual freedom is at the root of the brokenness in modern-day marriages and the proliferation of single-parent and blended families. The prevalence of abortion springs from the myth of absolute sexual freedom promised by the birth control pill, introduced in the l960s.

As it turned out, the pill wasn’t always successful, and women began to make choices counterintuitive to our inherent feminine nature. God has gifted females with the ability to bring new life into the world. Females are misled, by feminist ideology, to believe we have ultimate control over our bodies. The demand for abortion has continued to be one of the most harmful issues of the modern age. Abortion is no longer just a desperate response to an unwanted pregnancy. Abortion, as a right achieved by the feminist ideology, denies the unconditional loving potential of a woman. Abortion denies the intuition and insight that dispose a woman to bring light and joy into the lives of her husband and children. Abortion denies the right and responsibility of the man to father the child he brings into the world with a woman. Abortion denies the worth of new life when God Himself is the giver of all life. Abortion interferes with the total well-being of the mother and father. Abortion brings nothing good into the life of the mother.

The issues of sexual freedom and feminism became central to my writing. I wanted a professional opinion concerning the connection between sexual freedom and the prevalence of divorce and family breakdown. Via the internet, I contacted a theologian who had written for a newspaper chain. I asked if he thought sexual freedom was at the root of our social problems today. His simple response indicated the feminine principle is now in control. I had never heard this term before but inferred there must also be a masculine principle.

What were these principles? Why did this theologian perceive our present-day society as being feminine? Why would the masculine principle be rendered irrelevant at this time in history? I realized I would need to rely on my own marriage experiences and observations of social issues to discover what this man meant by a feminine society.

Another Significant Sign

Shortly after this email communication, a strange thing occurred. A parcel addressed to my husband was delivered to our home. On opening the package, we were puzzled to see a sample box of baby formula and two bottles. Why would this be sent to a couple in our seventies? Why would these articles be addressed to the man of the house rather than the woman? After a few weeks mulling this over, it suddenly struck me. It’s the man who begets or sires a child. A man’s part in conception precedes a woman’s response. The male is the giver in the conception of new life while the woman is the receiver of this miraculous gift. Adam came before Eve. A woman is designed to be the responsive partner, affirming and reflecting the benevolent intent of her husband. A woman can’t become pregnant without a man’s sperm. A man is designed to be the proactive mate in the act of procreation with God. The idea of a masculine principle became more relevant.

Feminism – Femininity

A social movement originated more than a century ago when women began to assume responsible roles in society rather than conforming to their traditional roles as wives, mothers, and homemakers. The women’s movement continues to have different branches that focus on different women’s and family issues. The terms feminine principle and feminism came to mind. I began to think of feminism as trumping the idea of femininity, which refers to the gentle, more vulnerable side of a woman. Feminism tries to stamp out the gentle, responsive feminine nature that God intends will draw out the softer side of a man. Feminism assumes a reactive stance in opposition to the proactive and perceived controlling nature of men. The difficulty of establishing lasting heterosexual relationships in today’s world gives evidence there’s a contest going on between the proactive nature, inherent in men, and the determination and willfulness of women to deny our inherent responsive nature to men.

Feminism assumes a reactive effort in addressing all that is bad about men. The reality is, women are designed to assume an optimistic appreciation of men, so we’ll be motivated to bring out their best. It’s right for a person to feel self-worth. However, it isn’t wise to attribute all that is wrong or unfair in the lives of women to the bad intentions of the male psyche. We shouldn’t need to depend on men to give us worth and dignity in society. As wives and mothers, we should expect men to give us respect. It’s my role, as a woman, to arouse in a man the awareness that I am worthy of the best he has to offer.

Reflecting – Discovering

These new thoughts concerning the existence of masculine and feminine principles inspired me to discover what they meant. The internet, which seems to possess the knowledge of everything known to humankind, was the place to go. (I believe God is using technology to connect human intelligence so that eventually our hearts will be connected as well as our minds.) There were different websites with their explanation of these principles. For thousands of years, philosophers, theologians, and more recently psychologists have studied male and female relationships. There has always been an awareness of the different dispositions of men and women.

As a Catholic, I concentrated on the Catholic websites. One site presented a comprehensive description of the masculine and feminine principles of Catholic theology. We are told the Holy Spirit guides men and women in marriage, so I might assume it is He who inspires these truths. The Holy Spirit has helped me understand how and why, despite the polarized differences between my husband and myself, we’ve been able to compromise and accommodate each other most of the time. We’ve been able to live in relative peace and harmony through the years, particularly in our later years when we’ve had time to look back and agree our life together has been meaningful and fulfilling. Now, I fully understand why and how male and female are designed to complete each other, according to our engendered strengths and needs.

Throughout our marriage, I’ve had ample opportunity to recognize the rationality, intelligence, and common sense of my husband, as opposed to my sometimes irrational and emotional responses and reactions to different situations. He has a way of settling the meanderings of my overly active and vivid imagination, which sometimes seem true to me but only serve to be unsettling. I truly believe Satan is most effective in the imagination, which is vulnerable to all kinds of thoughts. He loves untruths. My rational husband keeps me grounded in what is real and practical. He is a realist, not a person who gives way to the imagination. My husband doesn’t settle for dreaming about something. He begins to make plans to achieve what he needs and wants to do.

My husband doesn’t react emotionally to the daily news, nor is he easily persuaded by news and events. Before making comments or offering his opinions, he expresses himself clearly without cynicism or negativism. He possesses the common sense the male of the species needs if he’s to achieve the physical well-being of his family and contribute to the common good of society. My husband is well respected in a nationwide organization for the thoughtful, thought-provoking intelligence he brings to the conversation on important topics.

We are so different. I thank God my husband is here to provide a calm approach to my erratic moments and active imagination. I’m able to understand how the Holy Spirit has been priming me to listen to His wisdom now concerning marital relationships. The Holy Spirit has helped me confront my personal truth so that I would be open to His truth and the wisdom of the Judeo-Christian values that guided my husband and myself in our maturation.

I believe the other books I wrote in order to reach the ears of parents and other teachers were the Holy Spirit’s way of preparing me for my real life’s purpose at this late stage. Writing on issues that are very important to me was directing me to realize His end purpose. I was to focus on the subject of marriage and family in this day and age. As I delved into my positive experiences as teacher and parent, the Holy Spirit was preparing me to share my experiences as a wife. He was inspiring me to reflect on my positive experiences, so I might understand how my marriage is a fairly good reflection of the divine truths manifested in the masculine and feminine principles. The Holy Spirit has helped me understand the true purpose for marriage. The Holy Spirit intends that I understand how our engendered differences are relevant to our intimate heterosexual relationship as spouses and parents.

I believe the men and women of my generation will be open to recognizing the truth and relevance of the masculine and feminine principles. The apparent successful and happy lives of most older people bear witness to the truths implicit in God’s Ten Commandments and revealed in and through Jesus. Faithful, convicted Christians believe our heavenly Father knows best. We have the perspective to understand how a human father is designed and intended to know what is best for his family’s basic well-being. In modern society, this is no longer the case. Too often, a father is absent from the family, or he chooses to excuse himself from the awesome responsibility of fatherhood.

In chapter 4, I will give my full understanding of the masculine and feminine principles. It’s unfortunate that websites change from time to time. I’ve been unable to find the Catholic website that provided this insight, wisdom, and truth. The understanding of God’s intent for our engendered natures as male and female in marriage and family is deeply embedded in my heart and mind. I believe I carry God’s truth within me.

These principles reflect and depend on the reciprocal relationship in the persons of Father and Son. Therefore, it’s necessary to contemplate God’s truth that pours forth in His self-acknowledgement and self-affirmation of His perfect being. He is, as He has always been, complete and perfect in Himself. God has gifted all human beings with the potential to achieve what is perfectly-human and good, as He does with His Son Jesus through the power and grace of His Holy Spirit.

Chapter 3

Created in God’s Image

B efore a person can begin to understand the masculine and feminine principles of Catholic theology, it’s necessary to believe in the triune nature of God. God recognizes Himself as existing in a personal relationship that affirms and reaffirms His benevolence. There is no doubt in God. He is naturally perfect. God is fully alive, self-divining, and self-renewing in His eternal triune manner of being. Every human being is created in His image. We are each embedded with traits that possess the potential to achieve a benevolent manner of living among other people. Our personal goodness is measured in the harmony and fulfilment that come to us through our relationships and the inner peace that settles in. We can only recognize the measure of our goodness when we see it reflected back to us in the smiles, happiness, and appreciation of others.

Christianity is all about spreading Jesus’s message of brotherhood and sisterhood. This includes all God’s children, regardless of gender, age, race, color or culture, ability, or status. Christianity is about gathering people together in our common likeness, our deep-seated potential for good. Christianity is opposed to the human egoism that assumes superiority and perceives others as inferior, inconsequential, or less worthy.

In this age of unfettered freedom, I believe the Christian perspective of Jesus’s unconditional mercy has been distorted. The unconditional love and mercy the Father has for everyone has degenerated into the unconditional acceptance of whatever behavior, opinions, and attitudes suit the individual, regardless of the consequences to self and others. Self-affirmation and the lies people tell themselves have displaced the absolute truth. God’s manner of being is ignored in modern society. The true purpose and meaning of human existence is being discarded and exchanged for pursuits that self-gratify and self-satisfy the individual ego. The common good in God and the common good of humankind is exchanged for all that is bad for self and for the common good.

The attempt to serve the common good according to traditional Judeo-Christian values succeeded for centuries, until human rights became a matter of individual entitlement and the eventual denial of the inherent rights of others. Today, my personal rights take precedence over the rights of the rest. Society has assumed a misguided sense of tolerance and acceptance of something we call political correctness. We must never give a person reason to believe they’re being judged as misguided or incorrect in their personal opinions and behaviors. Today, there’s little or no discernment as to the wisdom that is exercised in a person’s attitudes and opinions concerning their personal choices.

If anyone expresses displeasure, censure, or admonishment of another person’s choices, they are judged as judgmental and unloving. It is un-Christian! Faithful Christians are perceived as the wrongdoers when we express our beliefs in what we know to be absolutely good and right. We’ll fit in better if we choose not to live as followers of Jesus in God’s image. Faithful