Culvert Story: 3

By Funk a Punk

This book is the third installment about my life, at least the first part. The Culvert Story 3 rounds up the first two installments of The Culvert Story. The rest of the book contains some clever thoughts for you to be inspired by.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 1, 2019
• ISBN: 9781796013146

Funk a Punk

Funk a Punk is an artist, & a poet. He likes to write down true stories about the weird things that seem to happen to him daily. Every now & then, some truth escapes he wishes he wouldn't have said, but isn't that life, nobody's perfect.

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Culvert Story

3

Funk a Punk

Copyright © 2019 by Funk a Punk.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 01/31/2019

Xlibris

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

791509

Contents

How To Destroy The World: Tender Invalid

Gun Control

A Good Skit

Nazi?

Cigarettes

Facebook

Oversedation Opiate Addiction

Patriotism

Not Sorry, Not Forgiven

Sharps

The Art Buisness

Worlds Biggest Problem

The Government

Why I Hate Rap Music

Tunnel

Smart Phones

New Information On Jesus

I Hope We Come Back From The Dead

Farming

Dyslexic Drivers

Cops Do A Really Bad Job

Cloning Soldiers

A Light In The Sky

THANKS TO TRI DEE, & RICHARD OLMSTED.

THANKS ALSO TO LYME & CORY FOR BEING MY FRIENDS.

High School ended in a bad way. I went to the graduation practice, & pulled up in front of the school with my gown, but I was feeling a little left out since my whole class was inside, & nobody would seem to miss me if I just put my truck in gear & went off somewhere else. So, that’s what I did. I put it back in gear, & wen’t & got stoned with some friends from lower grades.

I went home that night rather than going to the graduation party, & my mom was really pissed. Where were you? Didn’t you want to graduate with all your friends? What friends, I thought as I layed on my bed all stoned, & unhappy.

The next day I went out to the country to Girl Scout Headquarters. That’s what we called the place where the girls used to hang out. We (the boys) used to hang out at Sideroad Headquarters. As it turned out Girl Scout Headquarters was moving into the city, & Sideroad Headquarters was closing down.

Everybody’s mom Margie needed one or two of us kids to help her move. I was the only one willing to do it. She gave me a music lesson & I decided to help her.

First she had me go under the stairs to a big spider web. She asked me, Are you scared of spiders? Without thinking, I squished the spider. It was almost as big as my fist.

Second she had me clean one of her kids rooms. I had to vaccume it with my fingers. She just goes, I’m gonna clean up this room as fast as I can. So I picked up all the stuff off the carpet.

Third, She had me stand on top of the stove, & clean all the grease from the rack where she normally kept her pots, & pans. I wiped everything on my pants, & thought, She must have cooked a lot of bacon.

Then she said, You can go, & I left in my truck.

A day or two later, I was running out of gas, & trying to find someone elses house out in the country, I got fed up with the truck & left it in a farmers field. This made my mother angry & she kicked me out. So I was homeless from the get go after High School.

I still snuck in though that summer, & would eat when nobody was there, or they were asleep. The slamming of doors started to really reek havok on my nerves, & I couldn’t take it. I started yelling at my mom. She was always yelling at me, & just sat there & listened. Finally I got fed up & started yelling at her back. My little brother was rather bothered by this, & used to cry in his room.

The cops started getting called & one night I got thrown in jail, & in the morning a cop took me to the psyche ward at the hospital. I spent two weeks in there, & then when it was time to go home, they needed a place for me to go. I asked to go to my grandparents.

My grandparents drove all the way in from the Island. My last smoke before they got there a girl gave me 3 packs of smokes.

My grandpa needed to go to the store first thing because they didn’t have any food. I was waiting in the car with my grandmother, & I got out & smoked. Nobody knew I smoked yet. Grandpa then needed to go back to the hospital & get my meds. I got out & smoked again, & decided to illude them. It worked & I