Inside the Life and Mind of an Autistic Sufferer

By astronautboyforsure

I’ve been to hell and back, I’ve dragged hell to it’s deepest darkest nightmares to the point of it saying your not welcome here. I don’t want you to pick this book up for the sake of it. I want you to pick it up and take it home with you only if you will pay attention. I didn’t bring up all of my traumas and nightmares for nothing. I have done so only to help people who have been and who currently are in the places and situations I’ve horribly found myself in. Welcome to my World of Autism, Welcome to my struggles with ADHD
(Attention Deficit HyperActivity Disorder.) See how Bipolar affects me, look into the effects Depression and Anxiety have on the human mind. All of this might well seem like a lot, but really it’s not. But above all remember this was done to try and let people know that life is in fact a bitch of a struggle. Not only that, but to make people aware that you can get through life’s struggles in the very world we live in.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Jan 31, 2019
• ISBN: 9781543494433

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Copyright © 2019 by astronautboyforsure.

ISBN:              Softcover              978-1-5434-9444-0

                        eBook                   978-1-5434-9443-3

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Rev. date: 01/30/2019

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What Do You Do When Everything Was Going How You Felt It Should, I’m Not the Best Person to Answer That. Because It Is Not Just When Everything Was Going Good, No, What About When Bipolar Kicks In. How About When Depression Wants To Peak It’s Creativity In The Form Of It’s Only Knowing, Misery Masked By False Hope. It’s Not Everything, Anxiety Brings It’s Cards to the Table, It Is Not Here to Play Fair That Is For Sure.

Do you want to wake up one day and find out that you are the one thing that the world does not appreciate, nor does it welcome you with open arms? Above all it will have zero tolerance towards the question of accepting you for being that one thing. A misanthrope is what I am talking about. For those who do not know of this term. A misanthrope is somebody who hates human society and humankind itself. If you are still having difficulty realizing what I am on about then I’ll break it down in even more simple terms for you. Your next door neighbor, your loved ones, the people in your circle, those that you hold close to you above all. You will no longer feel what you used to anymore, it will turn to one thing, pure hatred and disliking to say the least. Sounds eerie? I hope so. Because it is not a nice feeling one bit. It is in fact an eerie feeling for sure, a freezing cold eerie type of feeling.

No emotions felt for those around you, no empathy for a soul in the world. Just empty, dark, lost and callous emotions, thoughts and feelings.

Listen, before you read any further, don’t be a jerk off Johnny. Don’t spit you’re coffee out in shock and ruin all of that lovely paperwork that you spent ages on. (Oh, I hope you wasn’t wacking one out either). It’s my story, it’s about my life, my struggles and my history.

Creativity is all amongst us, everyday something is created, whether it’s a newborn baby. I myself have a newborn baby, a 4 month old Daughter as I write this. But creativity is also around us in different ways, such as ideas, when you have an idea and you go ahead with it and it is successful, even if it is successful to some extent it is creativity which is a creation.

This creation of which you should be very proud of. This will be said a lot of the time throughout my journey you are about to carry on reading, but yes a lot of it might be of incoherence in some parts, it also might be of immature nature, it might even be of disgust to you, it might actually inspire you or others you may know. I don’t know this as I’m not you. But what I will say is it took a lot out of me to produce it for you.

My Mind Is My Studio! My Pen Is My Voice!

The Ink Is My Production!

My Disabilities Are My Assistants!

My Work Is My Creation! Said by me.

I am not a fountain of knowledge, I just have a lot of shit I wish to say. For those listening with their minds whilst reading, for those with ears for eyes and eyes for ears, I will say hello to you and welcome to my journey, welcome to my very rocky adventure. In fact welcome to my world.

My very messed up but at the same time, my traumatic lesson learning life story. Because I did go through all of this, it is all 100% as it is written. No ghostwriting, no assistance from others. Only the inspiration from my mind and my disabilities and their powers.

I love space and the universe and its surroundings, the planets the stars, the Astronauts and the moon. As I find all of this very interesting. Interesting so much that I often daydream that I have my own space rocket, which I take my own journeys whenever I feel like it. Maybe it be because I have Autism & ADHD, so it has been said that people that suffer with these conditions can be over creative. But is there such a thing as over creativity, you might be reading this and thinking, why is this Man using all these words and add- ons for them. Such as over creative and over creativity the latter being an -add on. Well actually no I am not doing this, I am trying to show the audience if you call it this, that creativity is not a lifestyle, it is not a way of life, and it most certainly isn’t an opportunity. But it is in fact a very special thing to achieve. A moment where you stand back and take a drag on that cigarette, the sort of drag that when finished you realize you’ve puffed the whole thing. Nicotine isn’t for you? So you down the double Whiskey in front of you. You stand back and say to yourself, shit, shit I really did it, but how. Through all the stress, through all of the effort you decided to take the opportunity. You also payed hesitation no fee and grabbed that opportunity by the horns and shook the absolute shit out of that bitch, by doing that you did achieve the very thing you always told yourself that you would achieve. You did that, yes you did, so you give yourself another double of whatever or another drag on whatever you decide. Because here is a fuckin toast to achievement and nothing but achievement. If you don’t think so that’s your problem. I’m sure others will. You see it’s a big world, a very big world at that. There are a lot of critics, there are a lot of negative Jeeves out there. But just because the first one says no sorry not for me. Don’t you dare give this a reason to say to yourself I quit, failure is no option.

So let’s talk about success and achievement. Let’s talk about how it starts, but let’s also talk about how it is achieved. The journey going towards it and trying to climb that ladder can be tremendous yet overwhelming. But it can also be a horrible effort if unsuccessful. I myself have done many things in my 25 years of living on this earth. A lot of which I have failed it. Which I tell myself its just life’s way of declining you credit. Which brings me to my point of my fascination for space and its surroundings, along with its planets, as well as also what could be living on them and even inside them. This is