I Didn’t Deserve This: The Shot That Brought Me Pain and Took Me to Purpose

By Joshua Jones

The title of this book is I Didn’t Deserve This: The Shot That Brought Me Pain and Took Me to Purpose. It entails my life, leading up to the night of December 11, 2017, which is the night it happened. It deals with all the events that took place that night—my feelings, the people who were there with me at the hospital, and the experiences at the hospital. Also, it goes in-depth about my life after I got out of the hospital—me dealing with PTSD, unable to really talk and eat and all the follow-up doctor visits; me being scared to go out at night; and other things. I end the book with my life now, with my goals, and what I plan to achieve from writing this book. This book is to inspire people who may or may not have been through something dramatic as this but has had something to happen to them that may have made them lose hope. I want to show people that everyone has a purpose and a voice. I want to show people that no matter how difficult your life may seem to be now, God loves you, and as long as you are still breathing, you have a purpose.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 30, 2019
• ISBN: 9781984548856

Book preview

Copyright © 2019 by Joshua Jones.

ISBN:                  Softcover                     978-1-9845-4884-9

                            eBook                           978-1-9845-4885-6

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Unless otherwise indicated, all scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®). Copyright ©2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 01/29/2019

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Contents

Introduction

The Beginning

Middle School Experience

Highschool Years

The Pursuit of Purpose (College Years)

Family Man

The Change

Ministry Life

Life after Divorce

Finally There

Back to Alabama

Attempted Murder

Life after the Hospital

Conclusion

Introduction

911 what is your emergency? While being unable to talk, lying here trying to figure out what just happened, how do I tell them that I have been shot?! While on the ground, I see all my blood on the curbside, struggling to breathe, blood overflowing out my mouth, barely unable to see or recognize what’s going on, I am mad! I am mad because I did nothing wrong. I am mad because I was sitting in my car at my house minding my own business. Did I deserve this? I am thinking, is this it!? Am I about to die!? No! I don’t deserve this! While trying to move around and see if I can see anyone in sight, I feel weak and not healthy. Can you imagine seeing tremendous amounts of your blood and not knowing if you will live or die? There is nothing I can do but sit and wait. Waiting and hoping that someone will get to me in time, hoping someone may have heard the shots, hoping a car would pass and notice there is a body lying on the side of the road. What can I do at this point, nothing! Nothing but wait! As I am lying there, I’m thinking what did I do that was so bad that something like this had to happen to me? Did I go through all of the life experiences for it to end like this! I’m screaming at God in my head, Lord why?

Why have I been left here for dead? Why have I just gone through the very thing I hear on the news all the time? Why would someone want to murder me? Lord why!? Then I hear sirens; see police cars, the paramedics come, first responders, are all on the scene. They ask sir what happened? Are you okay? I wanted to say, what does it look like to you. Then they begin to count all the shell casings, and they counted 5! I could hear them say this was attempted murder. As they start to rip my shirt off to check for bullet entrances and exits, they tell me someone shot you in the face, and it appears you may have wounds in other places. There have been people that have died from that type of injury. What do you suppose to think? How am I supposed to respond to getting shot in the face! As I look back now, there is a scripture in Isaiah 54:17 that states, No weapon formed against you shall prosper! (New American Standard Bible)

My physical appearance and outlook on my entire life changed on December 11th, 2017, me out of all people, someone tries to murder me! Not just one shot, but a total of five potential deadly shots. I’ve heard of stories where people have gotten shot more and even less than the number of times I was shot but yet I lived! One hit to the face, 2 grazed my right thigh, one grazed my spine, and one missed. I couldn’t believe this! I was not doing anything wrong, just sitting in my car at my house. Just like that, I saw my life flash before my eyes literally. You can only imagine the thoughts that were going through my head, the anger, and frustration I was feeling on the inside.

For years I have wondered why bad things happen to innocent people. While I have not yet come up with a valid explanation, I rely on my hope in Jesus Christ. I live by scripture that is stated in Romans 8:28, And we know that in all things God works for the good to those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (New International Version) Purpose, a word that many people seek to a understand. Purpose is a word that will change your life once identified. As I’m getting older, I’m learning that purpose is a discovery as you experience life. I believe now at the age of 33 I’m starting to fulfill my purpose.

Purpose does not always merely reveal itself. Purpose does not always show itself in the early stages of life. If you pay attention to the details of your life, I do believe at some point in your life you will discover it. Purpose can sometimes cost you your life. There have been many pioneers before my time, including Jesus that has given their lives up for a higher purpose. My prayer has always been that I do not die before fulfilling my purpose. I am willing to do whatever it may cost to fulfill the assignment that God has called me to do. Does this mean getting shot!? Is it caused for me to be a victim of attempted murder to walk into my destiny!? Those are just a few questions I ask myself to this date.

In this life, you have