Sex and the Soul: Overcoming Temptation

By Dr. Samuel White III

Sex and the Soul is a must read for everyone who wants to abstain from sexual immorality and live in purity. It shares how God forgives, heals and delivers us from our sexual sins.

Are you struggling with sexual temptation? How does God help a person abstain from pre-marital sex and remain celibate? How does God liberate someone who is addicted to meaningless sex or pornography? What would Jesus say about homosexuality and same-sex marriage? What does the Church do when the pastor is involved in a sexual scandal? How do you counsel a sexually active teenager, a person struggling with their sexual orientation, sex addict, a victim of rape? How does God heal someone whose spouse has committed adultery? What biblical wisdom does God offer us to ensure we do not commit adultery? How does God’s sanctification process cleanse and heal us of our sexual sins? These questions are answered in Sex and the Soul which is an excellent resource for Bible Study, group therapy, individual counseling sessions, and sermon preparation.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Dec 12, 2018
• ISBN: 9781973647539

Dr. Samuel White III

Dr. Samuel White, III is a graduate of Harvard Divinity School, Pastor, Spiritual Care Manager, prolific writer of 14 books, and founder of Agape Theological Seminary. Dr. White wrote this self-help book to inspire readers, to love themselves, live in the moment, have an attitude of gratitude and enjoy life with Jesus.

Book preview

Sex and

the SOUL

OVERCOMING TEMPTATION

DR. SAMUEL WHITE, III

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Copyright © 2019 Dr. Samuel White, III.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Unless otherwise noted, scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Scripture quotations marked ESV taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), Copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®, Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked NRSV are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Bible, Copyright © 1989 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked RSV are taken from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, Copyright © 1946, 1952, and 1971 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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ISBN: 978-1-9736-4752-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-4754-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-4753-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018914442

WestBow Press rev. date:   12/12/2018

It is God’s will that you should live holy: that you should avoid sexual immorality. (I. Thessalonians 4:3)

Other books by Dr, Samuel White, III

Hope for Your Soul: Words of Encouragement

Healing for Your Soul: Christian Self-Care

Caring for Your Soul: Improving your Life

It is Well with My Soul: Spiritual Care for the Dying

Dying in Peace: Preparing for Eternity

My Brother’s Keeper: Church Ministry for Young African American Males

Capitalist Christian Contradiction: God against Greed

Aging Gracefully: Spiritual Care for Aging Adults

No More Tears: Comfort for the Grieving

TO OU

R LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST WHO HAS FORGIVEN OUR SINS AND ANOINTED US TO OVERCOME OUR TEMPTATIONS

ENDORSEM

ENTS

In Sex and the Soul, Dr, Samuel White, III has developed several strategies for ways to overcome temptation. Each chapter concludes with a series of discussions that I believe could be helpful for small group discussions in both a Church or secular environment. I commend Dr. White for the thought he has employed in writing ‘Sex and the Soul’ – Overcoming Temptation."

Rev. Dr. Nick Hood

Plymouth United Church of Christ

600 E. Warren Ave., Detroit Mich., 48201

"It was my honor to review Sex and the Soul. I complement you on taking on such a task of tremendous need. It was painful but educational to witness how far we are away from where God wants us to be. Sex and the Soul was very much needed in the past, present and the future."

Dr. Uriah Beverly

Former Director of D, Min. Program

Former Professor of Pastoral Care and Counseling

Ecumenical Theological Seminary

CONTENTS

Preface

Acknowledgments

Introduction

One

Sex and the Inner Struggle

Two

Sex and the Savior

Three

Sex and the Sanctification Process

Four

Sexual Problems and Spiritual Answers

Five

Sexual Temptation

Notes

Bibliography

About the Author

PREFACE

If you asked anyone who knew me in high school if I would ever become a pastor they would say, No way!! The class of 1977 will tell you that Samuel White, III was too worldly to be a Christian, let alone a Pastor. At Brighton High School, I was not a Christian, did not attend Church, and did not have much of a moral conscious. The only thing I thought about was girls, playing sports, the size of my afro, the bellbottom pants I wore and the party’s I attended. I thought I was cute. My narcissistic hedonistic personality had very little boundaries and sex was my greatest vice. Ironically, my pursuit for pleasure only made me feel empty and miserable.

After I graduated from High School, I attended Brockport State College. On the campus, an elderly white man gave me a small Gideon Bible. I constantly read it searching for spiritual answers that would satisfy my empty soul. My younger sister invited me to Mt. Zion Missionary Baptist Church and I discovered who Jesus Christ was through the powerful singing of the gospel choir. I was baptized on my birthday and received my calling from the Lord. Praise God! Jesus Christ forgave me of all my sins and shortcomings and gave me eternal life. He looked beyond all my faults and saw my needs. He saw beyond my hedonistic heart, narcissistic attitude and lascivious lifestyle and filled the emptiness of my soul. Glory to God.

I no longer chased after young ladies. I pursued the Word of God. I stopped dancing at parties and disco-techs and began dancing and praising God in the Church. I no longer carried a black book with the names and phone numbers of woman. I carried the Bible with the names of the saints of God. I was no longer led by the flesh but was led by the Spirit. Lust no longer ruled my heart. God’s love reigned supreme. I was no longer a wannabe playboy, but a preacher of the gospel of Jesus Christ. God gave me a new walk, a new talk and new song, Amazing grace how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me, I once was lost but now I am found, was blind but now I see.

However, my spiritual metamorphoses did not take place over night. It has taken a long time to battle my fleshly cravings and become a new creature in Christ. I had to constantly crucify the flesh and mortify the misdeeds of the body. It was not easy. I made a lot of mistakes. I struggled with X-rated thoughts, and a lustful heart. However, God’s sanctification process slowly but surely cleansed me of my unrighteousness and anointed me to live for God. I am far from perfect. I am not what I need to be but thank God I am not what I used to be.

Sex and the Soul records how I was able to overcome some of my sexual struggles and temptations and the wisdom I gleaned from them. I have come a long way since my high school days, but I still have a long way to go. God is still in the process of sanctifying my soul. I am encouraged by the scripture, He that begginneth a good work in you will see until the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6)

I am not the only one who God is doing a good work. There were people who I have counseled or conversed with, who shared their testimony of God’s deliverance. Some of them were homosexual, bi-sexual or transgender. Others were swingers, adulterers and fornicators. To protect their privacy, I have changed their names and circumstances and recorded how they were able to overcome their temptations. The stories used in this book were fictionalized composites based on hundreds of counseling sessions.

It is only by the grace of God that I can write about the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit and how God empowers us to overcome sexual promiscuity. I hope that everyone who reads Sex and the Soul will be encouraged to Flee from sexual immorality (I. Thessalonians 5:23) and become holy as he is holy. (I. Peter 1:16)

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I must acknowledge our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who saved and sanctified my soul. He forgave me of my many sexual sins and called me into ministry. It was only by his grace that I overcame my temptations and wrote this book.

I praise God for my dear mother, brothers David, Van, and sisters Dee Ann, Cherise and Renee. They knew me before I received my calling and can testify how the Lord miraculously changed my life. I thank them for loving me before and after my transformation.

I thank God for my lovely wife Sandra and children Alexandria and Samuel IV. I truly appreciate their support. I am especially thankful for Alexandria and Samuels youthful perspective and constructive criticism.

I am grateful to be happily married to Sandra for twenty-four years. I truly love and admire my wife. She is the Golden Lady that Stevie Wonder sings about, and our relationship is summarized in the lyrics of the British Nigerian singer Sade, You’ve got the biggest heart. Sometimes I think you are just too good for me. Every day is Christmas, and every night is New Year’s Eve…

I am grateful for the wisdom, insight, and experiences shared by Friendship Baptist Church Bible Study members, clergy, Ecumenical Theological School faculty, seminarians, family, friends, clients, and strangers. Thanks to Mrs. Rainey, Dr. Uriah Beverly, Dr. Hood and everyone who contributed to the development of this book. May God bless you and keep you..

INTRODUCTION

One of God’s greatest creations is sex. There is nothing more beautiful and pleasurable than the sexual union between a married man and woman. The Canticles, or Song of Solomon affirms the fact that sex is good. This poem has been interpreted as a dialogue between a bride and her bridegroom. It is a hymn that speaks to the essential goodness of sexual desire. In his discussion in The Jerome Biblical Commentary, Roland Murphy notes this special focus: The lover and beloved are simply enjoying each other’s presence and affection.

The Song of Songs praises sensual love with no minor strains of prudery or shame to mar its melody. The most cursory glance makes it perfectly clear what romantic love is. O that you would kiss me with the kisses of your mouth! The song opens, For your love is better than wine (1:2). Behold, you are beautiful, my love: behold, you are beautiful; your eyes are doves. Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly lovely…. Your lips are like scarlet thread, and your mouth is lovely. Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate behind your veil… Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle, that feed among the lilies…. You are stately as a palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters. I say I will climb the palm tree and lay hold its branches. Oh, may your breasts be like clusters of the vine, scent of your breath like apples, and your kisses like the best wine that goes down smoothly, gliding over lips and teeth. (Song of Solomon 7) So speaks the groom to his bride.

The bride is not shy or reticent. My beloved, is all radiant and ruddy, distinguished among ten thousand. His head is the finest gold; his locks are wavy, black as a raven. His eyes are like doves beside springs of water, bathed in milk, fitly set…His lips are lilies, distilling liquid myrrh. His arms are rounded gold, set with jewels. His body is ivory work, encrusted with sapphire. His legs are alabaster columns. (Song of Solomon 5)

This ancient marriage cantata, sung by soloists and chorus antiphonally reveals that erotic love is natural and good. This lyrical poem celebrates romance and the inherent goodness of sex. Love, lust, or romance has its place in Hebrew literature. The scriptures testify that sex between married couples is good. St. Augustine was right when he said that everything that exists is good precisely because it is the creation of God. It is only the intrusion of nonbeing, of what Augustine called de-gradatio, which is evil. All things are good, and sex is no exception.

However, everything that God made can be misused and abused. Humanities fall from grace has brought about the degradation of the sexual union. Sin has sickened our souls, debauched sex and corrupted love. Separated from agape, sex becomes distorted and demonic, descending to the realm of mere instinct and sensual lust, transforming us into something subhuman.

Consequently, our sexually saturated society has defiled sex on the internet, music, Wall Street, politics, athletics, entertainment and even in sacred houses of worship. Sex lies at the heart of the most vexing social problems of our day: sex texting, rape, incest, adultery, pornography, substance abuse, sexual slavery, pedophiles, political corruption, religious hypocrisy, public scandals, sexual harassment, prostitution, teenage pregnancy, abortion, STDs and AIDS. We misuse sex to abuse others and degrade ourselves. Too frequently our bodies are instruments of disorder, co-conspirators in our worst behavior.

Our preoccupation with sex pervades almost all facets of our contemporary life-styles. Many people look at others and life through sexual lenses and have idolized the sexual experience. Everything and everybody are understood or measured in sexual terms. Sex and the market place are inextricably bound to one another. Sex sells clothes, cars, liquor, music, entertainment, athletic events, politics, television shows, movies and even religion.

Many establishments feature topless and bottomless entertainment to bring in patrons. The advent of the internet has added many new dimensions to hotel rooms, and even the bedroom. There are R-rated movies and X-rated movies, porno shops abound, erotic art has been legitimized, and nude beaches are no longer uncommon. Prostitution has become legalized in many states and permeates the entire society. The internet and cell phones offer all kinds of sexual pleasures and perversion. Taken altogether, a veritable sexual smorgasbord exists to tantalize, tempt and degrade even the most faithful saints of God.

The industry of pornography feeds this fantasy, but it thrives in more respectable forms as well- in advertising, in the media, in entertainment. Our national preoccupation takes sex out of context, separating pleasure from the accompanying dynamics of mutuality, sanctification, responsibility, holiness and Christian commitment.

Sex is a source of our greatest delights and our most painful confusions. In the experience of sex, we can come to a profound awareness of our own goodness and worth. In sex we can also come face to face with the inner conflicts and compulsions that drive us. In the sexual counter we sometimes experience communion so profound that it shatters the illusions of our isolation. We can also use sex to punish ourselves, to control other people, to diminish joy.

Our society exalts sex as the peak experience and primary focus of life. Some people have become sexual addicts and view sex as being more important than anyone or anything. Consequently, they live lonely, isolated, empty lives. Some people view sex as recreational; they focus on pleasure, as a diversion and delight. They believe there is nothing morally wrong with consenting adults having casual sex if no one is hurt. However, to view sex as primarily recreational can lead to sin, ungodliness, immorality, promiscuity, sexual addiction, sexual disease, dysfunctional relationships and spiritual emptiness.

The late R&B singer Marvin Gaye sang, "And when I get that feeling I want sexual healing. Sexual healing baby is good for me. Sexual healing is something that’s good for me." Our sexually oriented society has promoted sex as a drug that uplifts our spirits. The joy of sex is seen as the rightful pursuit of everyone. To be