Just a Mother of Four

By Kat O’Clysmic

Some people 'find' themselves through God. Others achieve this through long distance travel, either walking the Camino del Santiago or visiting the great pyramids in Egypt. Then there are people (like me) who get to know their real selves through astrology and prior to that genealogy. Everyone though had one thing in common- they all went searching for their selves after trauma or heartache of some description. When I first discovered my ancestors and read about their many trials and tribulations via the ancestry website I was dumbfounded. Their hidden secrets (or so they thought) were now exposed for all to see thanks to the advances in technology, these historical records were now online. There were bigamous marriages, prostitution, many early deaths as well as some who went into the workhouse and one who had spent 18 years in the asylum.

As I transferred the information from the database of my ancestry into my modern astrological software I met many aspects of my own current character, and in fact my own 'shadow'.

Parts of which I was yet to master. Many of the ancestors were gifted in ways we still don't understand, even in this modern age-namely they were psychic, healers and visionaries. As I discovered more about the ancestors through their birth and death charts I also discovered more about myself and 'who' and 'what' was operating within me and through me. Science calls this DNA I call it Karma. Along with their blood and genes I had inherited their unfulfilled desires ,their repressed parts, their unresolved conflicts as well as memories. Let's hope I can bring resolution to these matters that are still outstanding once and for all and by the time I come to pass I have achieved everything that I ever wanted to..just so as my children and future generations can fulfil their own desires and not have to fulfil mine first.

I am not alone, we are all spiritual seekers and how we find our own truth and peace matters not, only that we find it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press UK
• Release date: Oct 26, 2018
• ISBN: 9781982280161

Book preview

Copyright © 2018 Kat O’Clysmic.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Balboa Press

A Division of Hay House

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.balboapress.co.uk

1 [phone]

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-9822-8015-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-8016-1 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 10/25/2018

Contents

Chapter One

The Catalyst

My Unfolding Preseli Journey

My New-Found Knowledge

Old Interests re-surface, 18 years later…

A Foray into FEAR

Bella: The lady of the night

Being rang by ‘The Universe’

No chance to falter on Mothering, Alcoholism or in fact drugs

Father’s explanation of his SUICIDE and why it had taken place

On the right track, (life path).At last, the journey home

Just to Re-cap

Chapter Two

The Discovery of my Animal Totem

Boundaries, Respect and Protection.

A letter I wrote to Ancestry.co.uk

How I nearly ‘lost’ my son - just like the line…

Dan’s lost braces and how they got returned to him

The recovery of more ‘lost’ stuff

Appreciation of having sharp shears

Sometime later

More Saturn tests…

Saturn and his seven yearly Shenanigans

Chapter Three

Saturn in Scorpio or Sex and Responsibility

Pluto musings whilst ‘contemplating’ on the toilet

Many years before…

Mysteries of the lunar nodes…and why did my late father’s and his grandfather’s nodes become my MC/IC?

Beds, the lying in them and the making of them.

Jean: My father’s twin sister

The Game of Life

The ‘Art’ - Where did it come from?

A Blast from the Past

Whilst sat on the ‘throne’…more Pluto

Just to Re-cap…

Chapter Four

My Teacher, her guides and the missing keys

Our line, Unequal partners and continuing bed-making issues

The Fortunate ones: The ones who were not favoured

My many Juno disasters

Juno: The Policeman

More Juno Errors and Narcissists

Fucking Congratulations

Asses and Scalps

Chapter Five

The Making Conscious of Karma

The Come Uppence of the Karma of the Line

Saturn square Neptune, and the eclipse that wasn’t quite an eclipse.

My memorable driving test…and how I passed

Chapter Six

Latent gifts being Unearthed

Drat that family karma. Not again!

More calls from Pan

T.B, Phlitis and Consumption - all the same

Annie and Carl’s Shared Karma

‘The Bungalow’. A Shared Dream

Chiron goes direct

‘Soul bags’ and the relevance of Juno

Neptune and his Agenda

Chapter Seven

Synchronicity: The Universe sends me an Antique dealer as a friend - Pluto regeneration

Help from ‘Nowhere’

Another run in with Pan

Pan revealed himself to me in my dreams

Angels and Protection

Sharing of the same dream again, this time the pleated skirt

Note about future karma and how perhaps addressing the present helps

In follow up

Chapter Eight

More about ‘the line’

The Cancer Moon - The release I needed

More ‘Moon’ and ‘Ceres’

More Insight to do with ‘mothering’

A Timely chat about Children

The ‘Residue’ of Bella’s life

Another fascinating foray: How Gregg and I came from the same soul bag

Chapter Nine

The Mirror: What My Clients Brought to Me

OCD Parents

Lotty: The Old folks home

Lotty: The Inventor

Abracadabra. Sausages.

More ‘making conscious’. The last ditch of Saturn square Neptune - RIP

Chapter Ten

Gregg’s vision. My father’s visit.

A letter to a Professor

Transit Uranus into my Sixth House

A trip to the Optician

A letter to Mother

Chapter Eleven

Parallel lives

A Wake-up call from Pluto

A Re-run of the Poseidon Adventure.

A day out at my Mother in laws

Sandra; A good egg

My Untapped potential

The Favouring and Division of the sexes

My father’s losses were indeed my gains

Chapter Twelve

Blinding Insights

Get in the back!

Talks about Sex – Secrets and Taboo

London - The Big Break and Reward

Like mother, like daughter; Both Scorpio Rising, just one degree apart

Carrying the baton for the line

The Brexit vote – a foot in both camps

Serrapeptase, The miracle enzyme

The Sun is in Leo

Dedication

I dedicate this book, my account, my truth, to my late father John, who after living a tragic and painful life up until this point, decided to end his life and suffering himself by suicide.

It is through this sad loss and his sacrifice that I learnt and understood what was to become my life’s mission.

There have been numerous losses, many of which were karmic inherited from my father and an equal measure from my mother. For him she was a fateful union.

With that in my mind I would also like to thank my mother for the part she played in my life story as without her I would not be the person I am today.

My grateful thanks also go to my ex, the father of my first two children for his abduction of our firstborn and his abandonment of our second child that same fateful day.

My mother’s contribution to this, and her betrayal of both children and of me, her daughter, at that time was the catalyst of my breaking down and subsequent healing.

This book charts my course, my methods, my profound heartache and my recovery.

It’s been an amazing journey for which I am truly grateful.

It is worth mentioning also my husband, my rock, who has stood by me throughout my many (Saturn) tests, steady and dependable.

Our two children who witnessed their mother breaking down due to heartache, betrayal and grief. They grew in compassion, empathy and understanding, as did my other daughter who likewise as above grew but also suffered the knowledge that her father had abandoned her, and that he was truly selfish.

This knowledge is very hard for any child to take.

I am very proud of her.

She is a beacon for other young people with similar problems.

The oldest child (22) at the time of writing is striving hard to overcome her challenges and is paving the way for a bright future despite her many run ins with her inherited karma…

Credits to the following people:

Sue Lilly (Astrologer, Therapist, Counsellor and Mentor)

Also, author of many books including Preseli Bluestone Ancient Healing Stone of the Ancestors.

Crystal doorways by Sue and Simon Lilly and crystal grids also by Sue Lilly.

Find Sue and Simon Lilly at www.greenmanshop.co.uk

Alejandro Jodrowsky and Marianne Costa authors of metagenealogy,psycho magic and the family tree, for the excellent material found in this book. It made so much sense to me.

Penny Kelly for her visionary insights contained in her books; The Elves of Lily Hill Farm and the Evolving human. And because of her material, she led me to find and receive more insight from another book called The Findhorn garden written collectively by the Findhorn community.

Animal Speak written by Ted Andrews was also helpful and has been quoted from.

Remarkable Healings written by Dr Shakuntala Modi was also very informative as her work as a psychiatrist enabled her to first see and then explore a whole new way of treating mental health and how to recover from trauma.

Keith Birch, for his support and mentoring.

To be found at KSC Crystals. Visit www.ksccrystals.com

Excellent healing tools - crystals - are to be found here along with Reiki mentoring of the highest order.

Also, my grateful thanks to the Ancestry website for the mammoth amount of information I could locate and use in my efforts to unpick the inheritance I had received, by way of astrology.

A mind is like a parachute: it doesn’t work if it isn’t open

- Frank Zappa

Preface

Never let it be said that I didn’t warn you, dear reader about what flows from these pages.

You may just arrive at some point between now and the end with a different perspective to life - and of course death.

You may become conscious as I did unconsciously.

It is subtle.

There are many times that I have sat with my old friend Preseli, asking for the truth about the past and how it is affecting my present and therefore my future. I have lamented over my actions at times, as I was not expecting the answers that came.

Sometimes if spirit thinks the whole truth will be too much for me they have told me what they know I can deal with at other times I received nothing.

Occasionally my question has been wrongly worded and then the answer came in garbled.

Everything unfolds at exactly the right time.

Be assured that my theories are unorthodox, unproven and totally unconventional.

Enjoy.

Disclaimer

It is not my intention to force my opinions or beliefs on to others.

If others can apply my findings from my own forays to their lives and gain healing and understanding as to what behaviour they are exhibiting, then that’s what brings me joy.

As you will see as you read on, much information is received from the dear departed through mediumship and therefore I take no responsibility as to what they tell me, they choose what to say and I relay it word for word.

My deep intense love for astrology and what clarity it has brought to me is also evident in my writings. You will notice at the beginning of this journey I have been raw in my pain, inexperienced in my astrological knowledge and a beginner with writing and how to express myself.

I have not edited or back tracked as these gifts were coming in, with help from unexpected quarters: the dead.

It is a journey and will unfold as it did in my reality.

Some people will choose not to believe this, or apply this to their lives.

Most people, thank the Lord, never get backed into a corner by their previous lives or this one and therefore are not compelled to ask truly difficult questions.

There is no shame, there is no judgement.

Only truth.

Chapter One

• The Catalyst

• My Unfolding Preseli journey

• My New-Found Knowledge

• Old Interests re-surface, 18 years later…

• A Foray into FEAR

• Bella: The lady of the night

• Being rang by ‘The Universe’

• No chance to falter on Mothering, Alcoholism or in fact drugs

• Fathers explanation of his SUICIDE and why it had taken place

• On the right track, (life path). At last, the journey home

• Just to Re-cap

The Catalyst

When my eldest daughter was living alone in a rented flat at 17 years old after being abandoned by her father, she was in a bad way mentally.

It was later, after therapy and counselling, that she was to go off to University, when I decided to buy her a crystal angel to stand by her bed in the halls.

Upon searching for big angels on the web, up popped a retailer who had a good selection. As I needed it quick, I rang him and asked for a faster delivery.

We discussed various angels and he suggested looking at the Preseli Bluestone.

I looked, then I read and then I cried.

I ordered, it came and I cried.

I showed my other daughter and cried.

My husband came home I showed him and bloody cried.

What on earth is going on?

I only had to look at this stone online and I would cry?

These days I hardly went out.

It was simply too taxing.

I was just too low.

Overcome by the loss of my firstborn.

Like my ancestors before me.

Only I didn’t know this yet.

This was just the beginning.

My Unfolding Preseli Journey

I gave her the angel.

It would watch over her.

She knew nothing.

As I didn’t then.

For I was unconscious.

After the stone angel left for University and I was still in the same ‘lost’ place, I decided to order a stone for myself.

Many tears flowed.

Many releases followed.

And yet still no understanding.

Until one of the few places I still went to was my cousins, who was my hairdresser.

Spirit wasted no opportunity to reach me back then.

They knew their opportunities were somewhat limited.

As I sat in the chair, having my hair colour put on, I told him about my ‘stone addiction’ which I did most days and the tears that were flowing. He said he was sure he knew a woman who had written a book about this stone, that her name was Sue Lilly and he had met her at a Mind, Body and Spirit event.

Whilst the colour was on, he got online and I couldn’t believe it, there was all the information I needed.

My many questions were to be answered.

As soon as I got home I ordered this book.

Its contents blew my mind.

It’s called Preseli Bluestone the healing stone of the ancestors.

The stone - Preseli, forms part of the inner ring of Stonehenge.

It releases pent up emotional energy.

It heals.

It connects to us to our ancestors, the past, acts as a timeline to our futures by healing us in the present. Truly this is a magnificent piece of stone and could only be a product of nature created by God himself.

The Ancients knew all about this. (the Celts /the druids)

From that point to this, my life has never been the same.

It’s been a remarkable, healing journey for which I am very grateful to both Preseli Bluestone and to Sue Lilly, who likewise shared her knowledge.

My New-Found Knowledge

After my discovery of Sue Lilly’s book called Preseli Bluestone the Healing Stone of the Ancestors and my delight in what healing I had achieved by accident, I decided to get in touch with her via her website and discovered she was also an astrologer of 30 years.

It was arranged for her to do my natal birth chart and from then on I realised just how I was who I am. She threw so much light over my life and what had gone on so far.

She told me I was an excellent medium and that she had no doubt that I was in fact a natural psychic.

It was profound and I was unable to believe what she had told me, this was mad. It was the very next morning I sat with the Preseli on my soma chakra (centre of forehead, on the hairline) and received my ‘Bella’ vision. Although I didn’t know it yet, she was my great grandmother on my father’s side and she was a prostitute. This channel was the most informative, enlightening clear vision that you can imagine, with smells as well as hearing.

I felt all her fears as well as heard her cries.

I was there.

To this day I have never had any other ‘vision’ whereby all my senses were screaming at the same time.

It simply changed my life.

Old Interests re-surface, 18 years later…

Not only had my ‘old’ interest in crystals and stones been re-lit. (Having done a course 18 years earlier at that time I had also studied massage and reflexology), but I now had a new obsession.

I knew the information that was received through the stones was in itself a release, a finality which brought closure and acceptance.

Fluorite was another stone I had a special connection with, one day whilst admiring a beautiful example, my heart (chakra) became just full of warm loving feelings that no words can describe.

That day I could move on from the despair and loss I had been saddled with.

I bought and read all the books that Sue Lilly had written.

By following a lot of body layouts with the Preseli bluestone, deeper healing was achieved.

I did not feel I had to do much really. I picked up the stone and it did the work.

Now, I spent more and more time with the stones, enjoying the feelings of peace they gave me and that’s why I never noticed my own deep healing taking place, it was so subtle.

Then one day I woke up and understood the massive transformation I was going through.

The broken person I was had gone, I had become positive and future orientated.

I meditated daily.

The following musings, channels or writings you are reading all came from the journal I kept at the time.

Some whilst I slept, others whilst I was sat on the toilet (contemplating), and other times where I would just ‘drift off’, like washing up, ironing or gardening.

I was never alone as I previously said, spirit wastes no opportunity.

When Sue had initially read my natal chart, she had mentioned my sensitivity, this being a curse to me before I found the blessing.

She had told me how I had picked up and absorbed other people’s negative energies as I was out and about, this had become so bad in my worst times that I had stopped going out at all.

I had yet to learn how to protect myself.

This was not an easy task, and I do still have to remind myself to ‘fold up my aura’ closer, and to wrap myself in white light.

As my outlook changed so did my life, my passion for astrology grew into another obsession.

My Pluto brings the obsession (and involves the dead) as it is conjunct Uranus, this is through the astrology and the intuition.

Together these two planets bring insight and healing from the dead.

These two atomic and nuclear planets have been there all my life, and one would have thought I would have been used to them by now.

It’s only by looking back I can see how I have not driven them correctly they have instead driven me unconsciously…like two runaway horses I have ended (Pluto) many relationships, suddenly, (Uranus) as well as left many jobs in the same fashion, they are in my tenth house after all.

In hindsight, I’m not sorry, as all my decisions were correct, only that my manner was too hasty and revolutionary - that’s Uranus - it’s all so clear what these two blighters brought to my table/my life.

Uranus is the great awakener. He enlightened me as to what was buried in the ancestral line.

The trigger to my untapped, latent gifts were brought forth by Preseli.

This is how I understand myself and my life path.

That’s how it all started,

so here we go….

A Foray into FEAR

One of the very first visions I received was achieved using a guided meditation CD.

It was for past life.

Never for one second did I think I would achieve any kind of vision, or in fact experience anything at all.

This is when my life took off massive fashion and my view of myself got completely turned on its head.

Upon sitting in my chair, I asked my guides (at this point I didn’t know who they were or if I even had any) to help me discover why there’s fear when I go out into public places; why I won’t and don’t go in any door, especially of old buildings where I can’t get out the same way. Like tower block car parks. Also, why crowds make me uneasy and fearful, also noisy places or any form of public transport that I can’t get off exactly when I want to.

It’s a pretty long list, isn’t it?

Well the vision I saw was not for the faint hearted.

As the guided meditation CD played, whereby you fly with your guide back in time…I found myself ahead of what she was saying.

Before she said land safely and look down at your feet I had indeed already discovered man’s feet, smallish, very tanned and dust covered.

As my eyes moved up I could see hairy blondish leg hairs.

Upon carrying on further up…

I can see one of them leather type man skirts that have leather bits dangling off a waistband, a tabard type thing in leather and a gladiator’s helmet.

Some use that would be.

I am in an arena.

There’s a baying crowd.

I look around.

Before the CD says to.

I see my daughter, Caitlin from this life.

Begging on bended knees to some Emperor to spare me.

Pleading, crying.

For mercy.

There’s a door, a way in, one of them port cullis types on a chain that gets dropped down.

I know I am not going out.

Yet, I know not of what was to come out of there, only that once out, it would kill me.

It would be a public spectacle. (Pluto/Uranus ((sudden death)) in my tenth, remember? Of course, it would)

I was bloody determined I would show no fear, they would not see me cry, run, or show any emotion.

That after all was the only bit of control I had.

I did not see the death scene.

I only know that it followed.

At that time, I did not see who the Emperor was.

This came later.

In follow up.

This is why I won’t go into crowds.

This is why I need to see the exit before entering new places.

This is why I have fear in this life.

It passed with me when I passed and was not released.

Bella: The lady of the night

Since my earlier introduction to the uses of Preseli bluestone, I had realised that via the synchronicity of meeting people at the right time and then subsequently meeting or finding someone else who could carry on my learning, validating and bringing understanding to my unconventional theories. This astounds me as this happens all the time now, most days and in the right order.

I had sat in my chair and received the following…

I asked the healing stone of the ancestors – Preseli – where had the fears come from?

Had they come down my mother’s line? As