They Gave Me Truth

By Catherine Harford

"Teachers are my lessons done
I cannot do another one"
Leonard Cohen

Are your lessons ever really done? Sometimes the burden of life can be so great . . . But maybe that's for a reason.

In this honest and raw account of Catherine Harford's own Hero's Journey, she explores the depths of reasoning as to why life sometimes sucks you in and pulls you under. Depression and anxiety are the medical terms for it - life ache, soul soreness and the very real need to evolve are the realities of this experience.

A process of personal growth, spiritual awakening and a new vision of humanity's plights awaits. Twin soul connections, higher realms and a new understanding of all that is mysterious and divine in the world takes form. A love story and a journey towards self-love and healing, this tale proves that truth really is stranger than fiction.

Harford shares her story, bares her soul and the insights she discovered along the way are assembled here with a steely determination to enlighten others.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tellwell Talent
• Release date: Mar 30, 2021
• ISBN: 9781922542267

Catherine Harford

Catherine Harford is a first time author, poet and artist living in Wollongong, Australia with her husband and two children. She has travelled and lived throughout Australia extensively, seeking always to uncover the heartbeat of her beautiful yet troubled country.Forever looking for healing to help with the multiple traumas she has experienced in her life, her work finds her striving to help provide insight for others on their own mental wellness journeys in a time where mental illness is prevalent.Her work speaks to the New Age, the Golden Age, the time of enlightenment and of personal evolution, and connection with the divine. Her psychic gifts that she honed through the her very raw Hero's Journey and the life lessons she learned are the premise of her first penned literary composition, They Gave Me Truth.

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Written by

CATHERINE HARFORD

A Journey of

Twin Soul Connection,

Spiritual Evolution and the Exploration of the Divine

This is an IndieMosh book

brought to you by MoshPit Publishing

an imprint of Mosher’s Business Support Pty Ltd

PO Box 4363

Penrith NSW 2750

https://www.indiemosh.com.au/

Copyright 2021 © Catherine Harford

All rights reserved

Licence Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favourite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted by any person or entity, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, scanning or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the author and publisher.

Disclaimer

This work depicts actual events in the life of the author as truthfully as recollection permits and/or can be verified by research. All persons within are actual individuals; there are no composite characters. The names of some individuals have been changed to respect their privacy. The author and publisher accept no liability for any loss, damage or disruption incurred by the reader or any other person arising from any action taken or not taken based on the content of this book. The author recommends seeking third party advice and considering all options prior to making any decision or taking action in regard to the content of this book.

The Things That Haunt You (In the Shadowlands)

Catherine Harford, 2020

For my twin soul,

for my beautiful mother

and for all of my spritely,

divine family and friends

Who reside in magic

Introduction

Here is a self help book with a twist: it is a love story, and it is also a spiritual journey of enlightenment, awareness and healing.

This is not an autobiography; it’s an account of the events of my life that manifested as a spiritual odyssey, which also seeks to enlighten life on its grand scale in the midst of this journey. It’s a reflection of the microcosm and the macrocosm of the chaos of this New Age, the new millennia and all of its mystery, if you will.

Chances are that you will know someone in your life who has suffered from mental illness; perhaps you yourself have. If so, then you will know how confronting, how terrifying and how laborious dealing with mental illness can be.

But what if there were more to the story than a brain that’s not functioning well, a soul that’s sore and a heart that feels sick?

What if the journey undertaken in this transition into a troubled inner landscape is a hero’s journey, designed to change you, to help you evolve in ways you’ve never dreamed, and help you become the best you you’ve ever been?

This is how my story played out. Searching for love, a healing and the life of my dreams, I endured such a storm of the soul. It was a time of my life as no other, filled with pain, but also brimming over with magic.

Which direction do you take in life when the upbringing you had failed to give you strong guidance? How do you choose to feel and deal with life if you weren’t given the right tools to deal?

If you’ve ever felt lost, restless and unsure of yourself, then you will relate to what it is I went through. If your pattern of behaviour keeps leading you into trouble, and you find yourself making the same mistakes over and over, then this book is for you.

The lessons I learned throughout this experience were so profound that I was compelled to share them. Anyone experiencing the depths of despair that I felt should know the phenomenal heights of connection to your higher self and higher power that can also be reached. And anyone seeking answers as they look to evolve and become the best versions of themselves that they can be, deserves truth.

It has been 10 long years since I wrote this book in 2010, and I have questioned myself and the universe as to why it has taken so long to publish. One thing or another has stood in my way – but after all of this time, I have begun to see clearly that the very audience I was seeking to address hadn’t fully evolved yet.

The spiritual journey I undertook was desperately lonely. It was a baptism of fire. There was no one to discuss twin souls or twin flames with. There was no one to talk to about being a witch or understanding magic (that was all just Harry Potter make-believe!). And there was certainly no one to discuss the deeper connections behind the facade of mental illness – mental illness was barely acknowledged, and the vague idea that it might be a vehicle for a deeper connection to the divine was (as I was told repeatedly) nothing shy of madness.

The world has evolved so rapidly in the last 10 years; in the last 20 years even, since the year 2000 when this all first happened to me. There is so far to go and still so much to learn, but the reality of now has come to mean the evidence of public discussion around twin souls and twin flames, around evolution, around spiritual connection, star seeds, energy, higher purpose, and more.

The beginnings of my spiritual journey may have been so incredibly lonely, but now there are awakenings happening everywhere, it is such an overwhelming joy! The thought of connecting with others who have similar experiences to me, and who are fuelling the evolution of mankind through their own spiritual practices has validated everything I wrote in this book so long ago.

From the brink of madness and mayhem, I now stand tall in the playground of life stripped bare of illusions, where others are coming to play also; not the game of capitalism, but the play of truly rich, spiritually fulfilling purpose: to raise the vibration of Earth, to seek healing, to evolve into a higher state of being where joy and connectedness radiates into further dimensions, and we abandon war and destruction once and for all. To join together and manifest the life that we want to see: a life of fairness, of harmony and togetherness, as we cast aside the illusion of separateness, and begin to feel our way forward with the connectedness of One Love; the Golden Age.

On this journey, I found my goddesses, gods and guides. I found the hidden story of my life, and the hidden purpose that would come to give my life so much meaning, and most importantly, to save me from the fate that I so very nearly befell: suicide.

Instead, they gave me healing. They gave me answers. They gave me all of the love, hope, magic and joy that can make life the most phenomenal, wondrous and beautiful adventure that I could hope to experience in this amazing lifetime.

They gave me truth.

Now I’m going to share that truth with you.

They Gave Me Truth

The Trees Are Talking (Deep in the Forest)

Catherine Harford, 2020

A Book of Unwritten Law

She’s on a busy street, surrounded by buildings and people bustling by. A horse comes galloping towards her, a beautiful chestnut mare with mane flying.

It slows on approach and canters forward. She glimpses its hooves, which are made of gold. The horse comes in close, but still she pays it no heed, her eyes locked on its feet. It nuzzles her, and she snaps to attention. Looking up at the horse it is no longer real but made of bronze. She scans the horse from head to hoof only to find the glistening golden hue gone, replaced by this dark, onerous colour.

Suddenly she is no longer a woman but a child. An urge consumes her to climb aboard. She scampers up onto the horse, clinging to its neck as though it were alive. She notices the streets are all gone, the statue now standing in a field of endless green grass and blue sky. She leans over, whispering all of her secrets and her hearts desires into the horse’s ear. She stands on its back as though to leave only to find there are now twelve bronze horses spread out in the field.

As she stands on the horse’s back, she is given a hand up into the treetops of a jungle forest. She sits amidst a massive canopy, while monkeys play about her. She gazes, awed by the view atop the trees. Absorbed in the landscape, she barely notices as a monkey leans over and whispers ancient secrets in her ear. When he is done, she awakens from this dream; startlingly awake, the dream sequence vividly clear.

She doesn’t know what she has just learned of, but she knows something has changed.

No one wants to learn too much too soon.

Part I

The Descent

Who Am I?

Good fortune, sexual healing and adventure. That’s my credo in life: adventure before dementia. It wasn’t always this though. I had to discover that this was who I really was.

The type of person I was growing up as a child and a young adult is a far cry from the person I am today. Not just for having become older; I can see had my life turned out the way I’d anticipated it would when I was younger, I’d be half the person I am now.

I grew up in a small city. Well, country town really, on the outskirts of a small city; a very small city. But it was a small city that had cinemas, cool shops, community festivals, sports and nightlife, so we didn’t really miss out on much. In fact, we were pretty lucky.

My parents were freshly divorced when I was seven, and my mum was a friendly, outgoing chick with great looks and four young kids. She was pretty cool, a rock n’ roll 80’s mum who bought albums and cranked ‘em loud. Big-name Aussie bands that toured outside of the capital cities often came to town and she would go and see them. So even though we were well away from a lot of the action of the big smoke, we still had our fingers on the pulse of what defined Australia culturally in the 80’s.

We had the benefit of living out in the sticks, quiet, friendly and safe, offering the chance to run loose and feel free. Looking back and seeing the upbringing some kids have in apartments and on noisy suburban streets I can’t believe how good I had it.

Sunraysia: that was the name of our district. Mildura, Red Cliffs and Nursery Ridge (the official name of our pocket) was a jumping rural region set along the mighty Murray River, bordering New South Wales and Victoria.

It’s funny to imagine, but to consider one’s self well travelled you need only to have driven fifteen minutes in one direction to reach New South Wales from our Victorian setting, and roughly forty minutes in another to cross over into South Australia. Back in the 80’s when the river flowed with wild abandon and water was aplenty, sunny, agricultural Sunraysia was a truly significant part of Australia’s food bowl.

What a special time it was to grow up in such a place. Swimming in the river, the bush all around and just cosmopolitan enough, it was as colourful a lifestyle as you could hope for while reaping the benefits of all the wonderful qualities that make small-town living so special. In all my travels around Australia, I’m still hard pressed to find a place where the people are as happy, just as everyone appeared to be back then.

As I was growing up, I always imagined finishing high school, perhaps going off to university but coming back to settle down in that area. I figured on finding a husband, having kids and living a golden existence filled with sunshine and colour. After all, that was how my childhood had appeared to me; as a plume of good feelings, lively culture and as much romance as one little heart could muster.

I memorised weather patterns as a child, watching with a keen eye so I could predict what the day would bring. I embraced every season, knowing soon the grapes[1] would be ripe and aplenty. Once school started back it was more than alright, because we could run off undetected into the next-door neighbours grape block to have a fruity feast.

Autumn was Easter and that meant the annual community festival Luna Fest, and being part of the big parade that went through town. With markets, singers and performers in the town square, it was a highly anticipated and exciting communal party. Winter offered the delectable snuggling in front of the fireplace on weekends with a good book. And Spring! Wow wee, our backyard was awash with all of the blossoms from the biggest variety of fruit trees that one family could be blessed with. Soon we’d have our fill of plums, nectarines, peaches, apples, oranges and apricots, even quinces. The almond tree was the best, a giant monster of a thing, amazing for climbing in. When it shed its throng of blossoms you’d swear it was snowing. Then suddenly Summer again: Christmas, end of school, holidays, swimming and camping. The end of each year just felt amazing, as the promise of what guaranteed to be a fun-filled year ahead was a given.

This was all of the great stuff.

Like anything in life, the down side was relative. It involved my parents. Unfortunately theirs had never been anything remotely like a good marriage; rather, it was one that was filled with physical and emotional abuse. The marriage finally broke down, as was inevitable, and within two weeks of our dad leaving, my sisters, brother and I were being introduced to our new stepfamily.

This wasn’t all bad for me. I knew even then that Dad was bad news for Mum. This way I got to do something different every second weekend by going and staying with him. Hanging out with my stepfamily was a whole new adventure.

The damage for my mother though was long term, when years were slipping by and it was becoming more and more evident to everyone that the harm Dad had inflicted on her had become permanent. How though? That was what none of us could understand.

Science is now discovering that bullying isn’t temporary. It’s not something that just goes away once you’re not in contact with your abuser anymore. It’s to do with the levels of cortisol[2] in your brain. Cortisol is a hormone that’s released during periods of severe stress. But when these periods are prolonged the chronic overproduction has a degenerative effect on the brain. They are now likening mental abuse to sexual abuse, acknowledging that it can harbour what is ultimately a form of persistent brain damage.

I didn’t understand this aspect of what was happening with Mum at the time. Instead I had more immediate problems. Right when I was hitting my stride in my early teens, for this shy, young kid who was finding her feet at high school, a life-changing course which threatened my inner-peace was imminent.

Out of nowhere, Mum had a powerful sense to move back to her home town of Stawell, the town where all of her family lived. I was devastated. It had taken me so long to build up the confidence I’d lost when I’d had to move after my parents’ divorce. At least we’d remained in the same town. Now I was moving somewhere relatively foreign to me. Within six months we’d moved well away from all that I knew, and my world seemed to come crashing down.

We’d only been in Stawell for a matter of weeks when my uncle, my mother’s younger brother, was murdered. Very suddenly, the need she’d had to move was made crystal clear. It was all the entire family could do to hold it together and try to pull through.

The whole experience was a huge blow to my confidence. The severely shy and introverted Cancerian in me struggled to just fit in at a new high school. Luckily for me, my cousins were there and I fast became friends with them and their friends. In retrospect, I adapted to this exciting new scene quite well. It still took me a few years to unleash my flamboyant side in order to spread the love to more of my peers, but by the end of my high school days, I couldn’t have asked for much more. I did feel blessed.

Mum had taken her brother’s death very poorly though. The mixture of that grief and her hyper-real trauma from her marriage was a bad combination. She was sad for a long, long time. It became something of a daily ritual for her to share her grievances with me. I became an audience to some pretty graphic and horrific details of her life. I heard her out each time she felt she needed to get these awful things off her chest. I counselled her as best I could. But eventually I regressed into myself from hearing these daily outpourings.

It was damaging for me. I was becoming desensitised to the stories. I began to hate having to listen to them with a passion. These recollections weren’t my experiences, but they began to affect me in a very difficult way.

I felt I was being forced to relive things that were extremely toxic and negative. Strangely, I began to feel violent each time I had to endure listening to what Mum had to say.

There had always been something about me, a sort of wisdom beyond my years that had attracted those that needed a confidant. For different friends and family, I became not only an ear but an advisor. I could offer people spiritual guidance, without my really understanding how or why. I truly loved to be able to help anyone, so I relished the role. Unfortunately I knew absolutely nothing of energy and what it is to be drained. So it wasn’t too long before my sense of duty became misguided as I allowed my positive energy to be sapped out of me. Unfortunately, my own mother was draining me dry on a daily basis.

To make matters worse, at that stage of my life, it seemed that every time a romance was on the cards for me, I lost the plot. I was terrible. I became obsessed with the few boyfriends I had to the point where I couldn’t focus on schoolwork. I would cry all the time. Time and again I was completely ravaged by my insecurities. I’d gone more than a bit crazy with my first boyfriend. After we split up, my mother was terrified by how quickly I became a normal, sensible teenager again. For some reason there was no balance.

The next boyfriend was the same. It was a stark revelation to me that somewhere deep inside I had issues, way beyond all the regular teenage stuff.

In spite of all of this though, by the end of high school I’d found that I’d settled right in, made a whole bunch of friends and felt I was hitting my stride personally and socially – again, finally. But all too soon it was time to leave home.

I moved to Melbourne to further my studies. However, I very quickly learned how much having a sense of security had enabled the core of my self-confidence