Stepping into Trust: A Poetic Journey of Recovery

By Brenda Rausch

Run. Run from fear. Run to overachievement. Her running began with the loss of her mother in adolescence. Then, if that wasn’t enough, she lost her father to a massive stroke. That pushed her to run further into perfectionism and an advancing career. On the surface, she was a successful professional who lived with a “go big or go home” attitude. But that was the surface. Underneath the bravado, a deep depression led to self-medication and addiction to alcohol.
This is a story about overcoming addiction with God’s help. It is a story about addiction and recovery and the faith to overcome. It is a brave story about addiction and recovery told through poetry and raw experiences. Stepping Into Trust guides readers to discover steps to recovery and the hope that leads to healing.
Author Brenda Rausch writes from the heart to connect with the emotional pain of dark moments and the joy of walking into deeper trust, belonging, and inner peace. It’s one of those unique books about addiction and recovery that deals with past emotional trauma and the incredible healing process of trusting God.
You’re not alone. Brenda Rausch understands. She understands the power of addiction and the challenges of recovery.
Through her inspiring journey to recovery, you’ll learn how to overcome addiction with God through art, poetry, and personal stories. Stepping into Trust: A Poetic Journey of Recovery lyrically details a recovering addict’s path to acceptance and healing as she learns to trust in God, herself, and the power of personal transformation. Start your journey to recovery today.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Oct 25, 2018
• ISBN: 9781973641889

Brenda Rausch

Brenda Rausch is passionate about sharing her experiences, strength, and hope with others on a recovery journey. She holds a master’s degree in addiction counseling, is a licensed alcohol and drug counselor, and has worked in the addiction treatment industry for twenty years. Brenda and her husband, Tom, have three children and reside in the St. Croix River Valley. Theresa Dearone is an anointed artist who loves Jesus. Her painting inspiration sometimes comes from a song, a feeling, or where she is with the Lord. Theresa is a native Californian who recently moved to the Midwest with her husband, Pete, where they are enjoying retirement

Book preview

Copyright © 2018 Brenda Rausch.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means,

graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by

any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author

except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author

and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of

the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of

people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®.

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission

of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The

NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in

the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

844-714-3454

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in

this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views

expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the

views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are

models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Interior Image Credit: Theresa Dearon

ISBN: 978-1-9736-4189-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-4190-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-4188-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018911898

WestBow Press rev. date:  01/26/2023

This book is dedicated to my fellow travelers on the journey.

Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Addiction and the Past

Early Recovery

Cravings and Triggers

Dealing with Emotions: Fear and Anger

Dealing with Emotions: Grief and Loss

Finding Identity

Staying the Course

Connection and Belonging

Trusting God

Gratitude and Courage

Notes

List of Poetry by page

Poetry Index by topic

Acknowledgments

W ords feel inadequate to express how grateful I am for all the people who supported and inspired me to share my story and poetry in a book. I have been blessed beyond measure.

• To my family, especially my incredible husband, Tom, who loved me throughout this journey.

• To Theresa for her generous contribution of beautiful artwork.

• To Marie, who helped me give birth to this book through her skilled, gentle guidance.

• To others who encouraged me to continue when I felt like abandoning the project, especially Lindsay, Jeanine, Heather, Annetta, Jack, and Ray.

• To all my friends who came alongside me with their prayers, words of hope, strength, and comfort.

• To God be all glory, honor, and praise!

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Introduction

T he poems in this book were birthed over several years, with the majority coming after I celebrated my one-year anniversary of freedom from alcohol. I use the term birthed because of the mental and emotional labor pains I felt when writing them. Initially I was calling them hairballs because it felt like a primal form of purging. Then I came to the realization that I needed to honor the process. Inspiration came from a higher source, from God, helping me heal through a form of expression with which I was not familiar.

If someone would have predicted that I was going to write poetry in this quantity and eventually put them out there for the world to see, I would not have believed them. I have come to believe that God can do far more than we ask or imagine in our lives. It’s amazing what we can do when we step out in faith. God sure does work in mysterious ways. Transformation and change is a primary activity in the process of recovery.

These poems were an integral part of my recovery journey. They helped me heal. My hope and prayer are that they will be helpful to you on your journey as well.

The Poetry

Around my one-year sober anniversary,

All these poems spill out of me.

The words come forth as I approach places of wonder and pain.

Pondering the next phrase with great regard,