Love Wins: Unveiling Heart and Mind

By H. Palmer

H. Palmer was brokenhearted when she began to notice that her toddler son Dan had an abnormal development. She became even more heartbroken when she learned that he was autistic, followed by his asthma and challenging behavior in later years. On her own with him, she lived one day at time, in an inconsolable state, craving for better days to come. Her failed attempts to understand the cause and healing of her son did not stop her. She risked everything in search of a cure for him.
His abnormal behavior began to improve, and his love for cooking arose. A change of mind and attitude caused loving and believing, and a miracle was emerging. A rescue from that condition was happening. Or could it be that the main cause of the miracle was love?

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Sep 28, 2018
• ISBN: 9781546297130

H. Palmer

H. Palmer has a Post Graduate degree in Autism, she is currently a writer, singer and song writer. Initially not wanting to write this book “Love Wins”, she then decided to do so in obedience to a divine call. This book may help some readers to better understand some life difficulties and the main sources to overcome them.

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2018 H. Palmer. All rights reserved.

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Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the Holy Bible, King James Version (Authorized Version). First published in 1611. Quoted from the KJV Classic Reference Bible, Copyright © 1983 by The Zondervan Corporation.

Published by AuthorHouse   08/08/2019

ISBN: 978-1-5462-9714-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5462-9713-0 (e)

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DEDICATION

L   ove Wins will not be everyone’s cup of tea. Some people believe that their strength comes solely from their mental and physical capacities. Love, to them, is a stumbling block in their lives. It has a negative meaning; it is a form of weakness and vulnerability.

Yes, it is indeed true, spot on: love can make people weak and vulnerable. It touches all our being—mind, body, emotions, senses, and heart. However, contrary to what others may say, love has a positive value because it is in the middle of that weakness and vulnerability that our genuine strength and freedom is manifested. Those two qualities are embodied in love—a love that holds and connects us in a challenging and so-unfair world.

Thus, this book is dedicated to those who let love win, and above all to the real and only God, the God of truth and love.

Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person near you.

Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do, but how much love we put in that action.

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Madre Teresa of Calcutta

Nobel Peace Prize 1979

CONTENTS

Dedication

Preface

Part One

Chapter 1 Because of a Child

Chapter 2 Phase of Unknowing

Chapter 3 Shades of Abuse

Chapter 4 Drawing Near

Chapter 5 Early Stress Adjustments

Chapter 6 The Move

Part Two

Chapter 7 Amusing Beginnings

Chapter 8 New Experiences

Chapter 9 Adolescence

Chapter 10 Fading

Chapter 11 Cry Uncle

Chapter 12 A More Solid Pathway

Chapter 13 A New Perspective

Chapter 14 Renewing the Mind

Chapter 15 The Breakthrough Holiday

Chapter 16 From Darkness into Light

Chapter 17 Fruits that Speak

References

Websites

PREFACE

T  his book was written in response to a divine call. The Word of God states that some will believe and some will not, and each person will reap from it. Those who do not believe or have difficulty to believe probably think that I just left the looney bin, but I assure you that I still have all my marbles. So, what I will be saying throughout this book is real and it makes sense. It is based on real-life happenings.

On an early morning in the summer 2014, I was sitting in my prayer closet, and when I finished praying, I felt an authentic desire to look at the Bible that was on my bed table. As I randomly opened it, it fell onto a certain page, and a scripture appeared to become highlighted and suspended in the air. My eyes fell upon it, and I read: Write thee all the words that I have spoken unto thee in a book (Jeremiah 30:2).

When I read this scripture, I knew for a certainty that God was asking me to write. It was like a sword penetrating into my deepest being. I sensed such a feeling of submission that I still cannot describe it in its fullness, apart from the feeling of being like a little child obeying a command from my true real father, the father of us all.

Immediately, a thought came into my mind: Since the beginning of 2000, the Lord has been revealing to me divine secrets, and although I knew that I had to write them down, I have never done so. Now I have to obey. I got up straight away and went to a nearby shop to buy a notebook so I could transfer all my revelations onto paper. That was not hard, because everything he had told me was still very clear in my mind. However, as I was writing, I felt strongly in my heart and spirit that the Lord wanted me to write much more than simple revelation notes.

So, I said to the Lord, No, no! Do not make me write. I do not want it. It can be boring and demanding. However, as I continued talking to him, I said, But if it is your will, I will do it.

Over the next few months, I found myself restlessly thinking about that intriguing purpose for my life. I needed some peace of mind, and somehow a thought came to my attention: I have to talk to someone with higher divine experiences than me, someone who may confirm what I have been sensing.

One day in the middle of December 2014, I went to a church meeting. I had decided to share my situation with a dear 80-year-old wise woman who had prophetic gifts. Before the meeting began, she had a chat with me. She said, I saw you on that TV programme. I explained to her the source of the programme, and she listened very attentively. While I was talking to her, I thought, When I finish this conversation, I will tell her about the writing, and probably she will reveal to me more details of the will of God for me. Yet when the time came, before I said anything, she said, And God wants you to write too.

When she said that, I became perplexed and astonished, without words.

She continued, The Holy Spirit is telling me now that he will tell you what to write and when.

I was completely nuts. I did not know what to think. I knew for certain one thing: I would have to wait for the lead of the Holy Spirit.

After a couple of weeks, I and a friend of mine gave this dear lady a lift to her house. While in the car, I said to her, I am still thinking about what you have told me, the writing … do you remember?

She said, Yes, the Lord wants you to write for people to know.

That gave me a definitive confirmation that he wanted me to make my story public. At the beginning of September 2015, in a telephone conversation with a bishop and prophet, I mentioned quickly what was happening. While I was telling her, she interrupted me and said, The Holy Spirit is also telling me now for you to write.

Those confirmations were undeniably clear to me. This was an assignment that I had to do. After that, I was constantly mentally bombarded by words like write, love, and action.

On 26 December 2015, I had had an extremely challenging day. I was tired and angry, not just about that infernal day but also my life in general. I just wanted to wipe it clean and start life anew. As I did not have anyone to talk to, I began a conversation with God.

I don’t want this life. I want something new.

I felt in my spirit that God was telling me, Write.

That same night, I initiated my writing. I commenced by gathering information on the subject of love. For three days and nights, I was constantly saturated with glimpses of my life path with my son. God was giving me the idea of what to write.

Writing this book proved to be a deeply moving experience. I must say that I felt genuinely uncomfortable while writing about certain parts of my life, but people had to know and understand certain hidden life realities. Yes, sometimes we have to break the egg before we see it. Since the Lord receives honour in his ability to redeem broken lives, I will share some of my scientific, spiritual, and common-sense knowledge and experiences of my journey with my son. It was an initially difficult and complex journey that led me to know God.

As many of you may know, we learn the most about God in tough times. Overall, the experience was worth it. It was life-changing. We went from experiencing many sorrowful moments to having a much more truthful, peaceful, hopeful, and happy life. It was like being a caterpillar and turning into a butterfly. It was also like having found a fairy tree with green emeralds on it in the middle of a field full of beautiful and colourful lilies—a treasure to keep for the rest of our lives.

This book is for anyone who is interested in or would like to feel a touch on any of the following subjects:

• love

• loneliness

• obscurity

• lack of knowledge and wisdom

• clarity

• autism

• diseases

• health

• challenging behaviour

• stress

• arrogance

• humility

• despair

• disappointments

• abusive relationships

• forgiveness

• fight

• hope

• breakthroughs

• healing

• victories

• vitamin L

It’s also for anyone who believes that hope, faith, truth, action, and especially love will always win in the end.

I hope that as you read this book, a seed will be planted in your heart and mind. It does not matter what kind of challenges we go through. Often the recipe for life improvement is simple. The problem is, we many times complicate it. I hope this story will help some of you to think and/or to change at least one thing in your own world—a thing that will change the world around you time after time.

Many people say, I am not religious. I am not either. What I am is someone who likes having a relationship with God. By God’s grace, I’ve endeavoured to obey the Lord’s instructions. It was a clear confirmation of a prophetic word that I had received. I know that he will always confirm a true prophetic word. It truly is an honour to be part of God`s plan.

PART ONE

CHAPTER 1

Because of a Child

E arly in 2000, Dan, my treasured son, was diagnosed with autism. I was clueless as to what autism was. The emotional aspect was dreadful. I was confused and puzzled, and I struggled to understand my son`s diagnosis. He appeared to be a happy and healthy child, at least physically. My family and I had had a healthy development—how could it be? Could it be an abnormality from his father`s side? I was not sure, and unfortunately, no one was able to give me an answer.

I was constantly blasted by the most hopeless statements, such as Your son will never be normal like other children. It was practically impossible to understand and to accept this, as it would make many parents run with their seven feet. Ideally, parents want to hear just the opposite: Your child is a typical healthy child with the potential to achieve great things in life. If they don’t get that, at least they would like to hear Naturally or scientifically, it is impossible or almost impossible for your child to be healed; however, we never know. It may be possible.

You may ask why parents are not realistic if they have the facts in front of them? The real answer is that contrary to what many people think, we are the most realistic people in this planet, much more than anyone can see or imagine. We do not ignore what we see or what we live on a daily basis. It would be impossible; this truth touch deeply all our senses, our soul, and our whole being. However, because of love, many parents seek and decide to be committed to the well-being of their children. They are therefore uneasy about accepting any negative statement. Rather, they decide to concentrate on what they want to see: healing, happiness, and victories, even if these appear to be impossible.

As if this news was not enough, at the time, Spencer, my son’s father (for privacy reasons throughout this book I will call him Spencer) and I were living separated lives and under a divorce proceeding. At times, I would think that probably something was wrong with me—something invisible that I couldn`t explain that somehow cursed me and particularly my son. Dan had the right to express himself, to speak, to interact with others like any typical child, but he was not doing so. Instead, I was seeing him drifting away from me, isolating himself like a wild child in his own world.

THE BASICS OF THIS BOOK

As I was growing up to the beginning of my adulthood, I was inspired by missionary people such as Madre Teresa of Calcutta (1910–1997), who helped the poorest of the poor and changed so many lives around the world. I also genuinely desired to sacrifice my life to those less fortunate. At that time, I was struggling to know the purpose of my life. It would not surprise me if you were on the same page, because this is the kind of question that most of us ask, particularly when we are young.

I believed that being a missionary could possibly be my purpose—going around the world spreading love and helping others to satisfy their basic needs. That, to me, was the most noble thing to do, and just imagining people’s faces smiling at me in return would make me and them the happiest beings in this planet. However, after Dan was born, the scene radically changed. How could I help others if next to me I had a human life needing desperately my support? The purpose of my life was in front of my eyes, and that was loving others but particularly loving and helping him on a daily basis.

At least, that was my thought at the time. I had to care for him, to understand his mind and his world. I had no need to go far. As time went on, I realized that the reason I wanted to know my life purpose was because it would give meaning to my life, as when life has meaning, we can bear almost anything. Life becomes more simplified; we focus more on what we want, and life becomes incredibly energetic.

Later on, as I got to know God, I realized that looking after Dan and loving him and others was one of my main purposes but not the prime one (Leviticus 19:18, Matthew 22:39, Mark 12:28–34, Luke 10:25–28). I came to believe that my main purpose and everybody else’s on this planet was to love God above everything (Deuteronomy 6:5, Matthew 22:37, Mark 12:28–34, Luke 10:25–28). Only then we could understand more clearly the meaning of life.

I also found out that before we were born, God had already planned wonderful paths for our lives, because he loves us all the same. That took my breath away. However, while on this earth, some people will suffer more than others, and that breaks God’s heart because he does not take any pleasure from it (Ezekiel 18:23). He deeply wants for us to prosper in all things and be in health (3 John 2).

At that time, from the deepest parts of my soul, I truly wanted to love, yet I could not love without giving. I just couldn’t; it was impossible. Truthfully, not being much aware, I was already giving love to others around me. My love was flowing to others through my words, smiles, and actions. However, that was practically nothing compared to the sea of love I wanted to experiment with and give. Now I had someone near me, in my home, to give love to. Interestingly, and without any awareness, I was having the same thoughts as the great missionary Madre Teresa:

Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person near you.

Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do, but how much love we put in their action.

Without realizing it, I was immersed in the two main foundations of life: love and relationships. The question is, which one comes first: love or relationships?

I would say that love comes first. When we are born, love is already inside us as individual human beings. From the moment we relate to life around us, we can’t hold it anymore. Without our awareness, it runs from our beings, and we begin to share it with the rest of the world around us (human beings, animals, vegetation, objects, waters, earth). As the world is always in desperate need of love, from the moment love touches it, it instantly grabs that love and welcomes it astoundingly. As a result, we are likely to receive love’s feedback in the form of happiness, nourishment, peace, beauty, health, accomplishments, and much more. These are what we call healthy relationships, even for those who don’t want to admit it.

As you can see, love moves in relationships. However, if love begins to dry up or the existence of heart feelings like jealousy, fear, insecurity, and hatred begin to overwhelm love, then the relationship becomes faulty; in the short or long run, the relationship becomes disconnected and is on its way to extinction.

Now, you may ask, What is love?

We all know that there are many types of love, and from what we have been exploring, naturally and generally speaking, we understand that love is an infinite and active wonderful strong power which flows within relationships. But our focus will be on love towards humankind. Human beings have different kinds of love, such as love between a man and woman, between family members, between friends, and especially innocent love, the love we should feel all the time, the love we feel when we look particularly at babies or little children, which is probably God’s favourite type (Matthew 18:2, Mark 9:33-37, Luke 9:46-48).

You also may ask then, What is real human love? What is its best definition?

I personally think that real human love is a healthy attitude of our heart. Actually, it is simply to deprive ourselves almost completely from our own will to will the good of the other infinitely. This is because there is no danger in loving too much. When we really love, we remove from ourselves arrogance or pride, selfishness, covetousness, to much ambition and power, and so many other unhealthy desires that come from the heart. As a result, we become freer, more humble, and less selfish, to the point of seeing and understanding the world around us in a better way.

For instance, Madre Teresa was a genuine figure who knew what real love was. She was love in action. She lived it; she deprived herself of her comfortable life to will the good of the other with no stop. You may ask, Why was she unstoppable? The answer is, because she was in love with people and God. Love has power. When we are in love, we tend not to be afraid. We take risks, and we have hope. This type of love is also experienced by many people, particularly parents who love their children immeasurably, all the way to the edge.

For those who believe in God, real love is what God is. It is spiritual, infinite, and good, flowing in us and through us.

Over the centuries, many people have defined love in many different ways, but for many the Word of God holds the real answer. Inspired by the Holy Spirit or the spirit of God, Paul of Tarsus wrote the most accurate and perfect definition of love: Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, thinks no evil, rejoices in the truth it endures all things … love never fails (1 Corinthians 13: 4–8).

We all know that we are imperfect human beings, and because of that, sometimes it can be difficult to master love’s perfection; but to a certain extent, we should always try to accomplish it on a daily basis. For instance, we should not try to find the dust in people, but like little children we should look for gold in them. If we do that, then love will always flourish.

From Paul’s definition, we see that true love is selfless, unconditional, and compassionate. The three have some similarities; at the core, love is ultimately about giving of the self for the good of another. It does not matter what the problem is; the bond between individuals is unchangeable and inexplicable.

This kind of love is often used to describe love between family members, such as parent’s love for their offspring. Selfless love does not expect anything in return, and whatever we do, we do from the heart. Unconditional love is not conditioned by circumstances, such as, You give me what I want, and in return, I will give you my love. Instead, it says, No matter what your circumstances are, I will always love you.

Finally, compassionate love is an effective response to the suffering of another that motivates helping and a desire to alleviate that suffering (Gilbert et al. 2017; Sinclair et al. 2017). This class of love leads many parents worldwide to become selfless and vulnerable. They try everything in their ability to help their unhealthy children experience a breakthrough.

I have been with many parents from different backgrounds from around the world in parent’s meetings, workshops, conferences, and congresses. The love they feel for their children is the same. It is an astounding love.

Overall, love is a gift from God (Zephaniah 3:17)—the greatest gift he can give to humankind. As you can see, real love is not physical, because we cannot touch it; it is spiritual, because we can see it in motion with individuals around us. For instance, how can it be that you love someone, such as a baby or a child, even if you know her or him just for few weeks of her or his life? Our job is to use love to create healthy relationships with God and with one another, and that is what defines God’s love. If we choose not to use it, then we struggle to become fruitful.

At this point, you may ask, Is love out of men, from Mother Nature, or from heaven (God)? For those who are agnostic, atheistic, or even gnostic, this question is easy to answer because we can see it: love comes out of Mother Nature or men. I perfectly understand it because I previously experienced it. For a period of time in my life when I was growing up, studying and trying to understand the physical world and even what was behind it, I believed that love could come from these two sources.

Many people believe that Mother Nature sends love through energetic radiations to the world. In a way, that is true, because we sense it in the air we breathe. Besides, Mother Nature takes good care of a little seed, and when the sun and rain come, it grows. It can grow into something energetic, beautiful, and nourishing.

Others believe in the prehistory books of the theory of evolution, suggesting that complex creatures such as human beings developed from single-celled animals over 5 billion years (Rose Publishing 2004). Many irrational animals became rational humans; therefore, love probably was manifested through them.

To those who believe in the creator of the universe, especially those who have a relationship with God, love is out of heaven because the Word of God says so, and they know it: God is love (1 John 4:8, 1 John 4:16). Because of that, he made man in his own image, and he is reproducing himself through humanity (Genesis 5:3). In addition, the Word of God states that when people believe in it, the spirit of God testifies with our spirit (Romans 8:16), and then we have the certainty that love is coming from God.

Interestingly, we all know that at the time when ancient books were written about the human existence, we did not live to see and know it. The question is, Why for some people is it so easy to believe in textbooks from prehistory and not believe in the book of the Word of God or the Bible? Is it because fossils proof so? At this point, there is very little fossil evidence that animals evolved (Rose Publishing 2004). Remarkably, somehow textbooks tend to be forgotten, but the Bible remains the most popular book since it started being made, at least in the Western world and some other parts of the world. Why? Because it is a truth book. God keeps it.

So, it appears that science does not have all the answers, because there are some things that researchers will never understand: specifically, love and human existence, which are beyond their comprehension. This is because hearing, they will hear and shall not understand, and seeing they will see and not perceive, the hearts of this people have grown dull, their ears are hard of hearing and their eyes they have closed (Isaiah 6:9–10, Matthew 13:13–15). God has hidden these things from the wise and prudent and have revealed them to babes (Matthew 11:25). For the ones who believe in him, especially those who empty themselves of their ego, he will open his mouth and he will utter dark sayings of old (Psalm 78:2, Matthew 13:35).

Intriguingly, many researchers and scientists have expressed doubts about evolution, including Albert Szent-Györgi, Nobel laureate in medicine (1937), who once said, Improving life by random mutations had the probability of zero. In 1990, Richard Leaky, the world’s foremost paleoanthropologist, stated, There is more evidence to suggest an abrupt arrival of man rather than a gradual process of evolving. Even Charles Darwin, who suggested the theory of evolution, later in his life said, My speculations run beyond the bounds of true science