Sex After Seventy: It Gets Better: The Detailed Sex Guide for Mature Thinking Adults and for Seniors

By James A. Grant

Sex has been used to sell nearly everything in our modern culture, but almost no attention has been given to the personal importance of it in all of our lives, and most of us really know very little about it. Sex can and should be a major part of life for all adults and for all seniors thorough their golden years.
In early chapters, the author challenges you to use the mirror of critical examination of yourself and your partner to identify areas of relationship and sexual technique weaknesses.
In chapters VII and VIII, he is shockingly candid with very detailed specifics of sexual facts and techniques including little known topics such as first encounter sexual imprinting, micro body movements, female ejaculation, A-spot, G-spot, U-spot and other erogenous zones, the magic sexual frequency of .8 Hertz, hip scooping, why erectile dysfunction doesnt matter, anatomical variations, sexual fantasies, types of orgasms, effective sexual positions, sexual aids, and specific directions about how to make yourself sexual royalty.
In SEX AFTER SEVENTY the author discusses specifics about the importance of understanding ourselves to get past false information that we have been subjected to our entire lives from well-meaning and not so well-meaning influences. He urges us to think for ourselves.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Sep 12, 2018
• ISBN: 9781532045844

James A. Grant

James A. Grant is a successful businessman, real estate investor, collectibles investor and dealer, private pilot, author, martial arts instructor, and perpetual student. He started his first business at age 14 and has started and managed several successful and diverse businesses throughout his career. He and his wife founded and ran a vertically integrated gemstone and jewel business with contacts on five continents for 26 years. They started that business with the seed money of $17,000 they saved and grew it into a multimillion dollar business.

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Copyright © 2018 James A. Grant.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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ISBN: 978-1-5320-4580-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-4581-3 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-4584-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018904564

iUniverse rev. date: 09/07/2018

CONTENTS

AN OVERVIEW AND INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER I          NATURE’S GRAND DESIGN

CHAPTER II        SEX AND HEALTH

CHAPTER III      SEX AND NORMALCY

CHAPTER IV      THE PATH TO UNDERSTANDING OURSELVES

CHAPTER V        THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION—SOME HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE

CHAPTER VI      THE REGRET OF INACTION

CHAPTER VII    SOME NEW FACTS, QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

CHAPTER VIII    DETAILED SPECIFIC TECHNIQUES

CHAPTER IX       PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS

CHAPTER X        SEX FOR ONE

CHAPTER XI      KEY IMPORTANT POINTS TO REMEMBER

SELECTED BIBLIOGRAPHY

WAR

NING:

IF YOU HAVE AN IMMATURE ATTITUDE TOWARD SEX, DON’T READ THIS BOOK. YOU WON’T UNDERSTAND IT.

AN OVERVIEW AND INTRODUCTION

SEX IS THE MOST POWERFUL BIOLOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL FORCE IN OUR LIVES AND MOST OF US KNOW VERY LITTLE ABOUT IT.

NOTE: Please pay particular attention to earthquake machine in Chapter IV. It’s not what you would expect.

One of my favorite statements is that people with small minds like to gossip and talk about other people. People with medium sized minds like to talk more about events, and that people with larger minds like to talk more about ideas. The idea in this book is this: SEX IS THE MOST POWERFUL BIOLOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL FORCE IN OUR LIVES AND MOST OF US ACTUALLY KNOW VERY LITTLE ABOUT IT. In one way or another it influences nearly ALL of our decisions. It can influence where we choose to go to school, where we choose to live, where we work, who we will share our life with, what our financial future will be and virtually any other important life decision. Sex is for procreation, for pure pleasure, and for the most sacred bonding between partners. On the other hand, we have been trained by the pervasive use of sex in our society to trivialize its true importance, and despite all of the innuendo and superficial exposure, we really know very little about the facts of our sexuality and how to use it in a healthy way. Sex shapes our personalities and dictates our future in every way. There is a sexual component to all human relationships and even the most casual interactions. Despite that, serious sexual discussions rarely occur that actually transfer vital and specific enough information to allow us a healthy outlook and understanding of our true selves and how we relate to others.

One might think that as much as I make of sex in this book, that I think sex is the most important thing in the world. Not at all, but what I do think is that we have not understood the incredibly strong position that sex plays in our moods, our reasoning, our decisions and our relationships, thereby directing our lives in ways that we aren’t consciously aware of. We could list the usual things such as world peace, world hunger, absence of diseases, and numerous other things that are more important than sex, but the solutions to all of those are really more academic than something any of us as individuals can really do substantially about fixing. We can do something about the quality of our personal sex lives. Making more harmonious personal relationships one by one on a grander scale then translate into a more harmonious world.

My initial interest in writing this book was to address the elephant in the room that nobody would talk about. I had long observed an extreme unsettledness in menopausal couples, but then realized that in a long life of observation and some unsettledness of my own, that younger couples really needed someone of longer experience and good intent to guide them in specific techniques and hard earned life lessons. In other words I thought it was time for someone to candidly talk to them about those extremely delicate things that make us all instinctively blush so that they don’t waste many years either unfulfilled or only mildly aware of their own sexual potential. The younger crowd might not be fully ready for all of the concepts in this book such as menopause or infirmity, but they do need to know what to expect so that when it hits them they won’t be overwhelmed. They will also definitely benefit from the techniques passed on to them that only years of experience and some study can give them. This book is written by a Christian for Christians and everyone else. However, you will notice as you read on that I don’t take the dogma that is commonly taught from pulpits as unquestionable truth by a few people who would like you to believe that their own interpretations or their particular brand of religion is the infallible truth. Call me a renegade if you wish, but I prefer to do my own thinking rather than have my thinking dictated to me. I encourage you to do the same.

WHAT SHOULD YOU BELIEVE AND WHY?

Throughout this book, I use bits and pieces of programs, seminars, videos, individual statistics, magazine articles, and life experiences, etc., some of which are anecdotal, along with highly documented scientific studies by qualified experts because I don’t intend this to be a scholarly work, but a general help source. I believe that we benefit from overall knowledge which is the combination of anecdotal knowledge, and personal experiential knowledge, as well as from scientific studies. I have seen instances where all types of sources are correct and instances where all types of sources are incorrect. Use your own judgement as to what you decide to believe and what you don’t. What I write in this book is an informed and studied opinion of an observant person who has lived a long time, and if it has the ring of truth to it, use it to make your sex life more skilled and increase your sexual contentment. On the other hand, if you don’t see validity in my studied points of view and conclusions, be content with the common degree of sex skill that you have now and don’t do anything to improve it. Although I cite sources and studies which have gratefully become a part my knowledge, I am not interested in documenting this book as a scientific work because it is not. For those who believe that everything is provable and documentable, I wish to say Please sell me two pounds of love for the market rate. There is no quantifiable way to measure love and no measurable way to price an unmeasurable concept that we all know exists, but can’t prove. Anything regarding emotions is difficult or impossible to actually quantify or prove, but we know it when we see it.

THE YUCK SYNDROME AND THE SOLUTION

There is a classic joke about walking in on your parents doing it and it always elicits a shocked EEEWWWWW kneejerk disgust response to think of two overweight, wrinkled, and seemingly uninteresting people actually going at IT. That is what we are supposed to think, isn’t it? That is only what you see on the surface. It is likely that you may be uninformed about the vast body of recent knowledge, skills, and tools that some of those older people have added to the knowledge they had already gained through many years of experience. Today, more and more skilled people know how to arouse and completely satisfy the same mate for decades after the exuberance of youth has disappeared. That’s no small task because sex with the same person, even if you dearly love them, gets boring. That goes for the young as well as older people. I know that is something that is hard to admit, but it’s true. If you are a thirty something, you might not have experienced that yet, but you will. If you are post-menopausal, you know exactly what I mean. You actually have to know something about the very DIFFERENT KINDS OF ORGASMS and how to skillfully coax them to a level just barely below climax and bounce along the edge for long periods before choosing exactly when to bring down the curtain of one or even several deeply satisfying orgasms. That takes skill and finesse and even some equipment. If you haven’t experienced all of the different types of orgasms you still have room to learn more. That alone can stretch the boredom cycle out to a longer interval so that sex becomes less predictable. The skill is learning how to attain orgasms at will and without effort. You can learn to experience all different types of high level orgasms and also learn to control them much easier than you did when all you had was youthful enthusiasm and overabundance of raging hormones, but very little real skill. After reading this book and applying what you read, you will be able to do just that. You will definitely learn some things you don’t already know and your sex skills will improve no matter what your age is.

GOOD SEX IS A LEARNED SKILL

Despite what we all would like to believe, GOOD SEX IS A LEARNED SKILL. Good sex doesn’t come naturally to most people without some specific study and practice. WE ARE NOT BORN WITH THE SKILL TO HAVE REALLY GOOD SEX. When you are that ultra horny teenager overflowing with hormones, it isn’t necessary to have so much skill to have an orgasm, but that won’t always be the case. Sex becomes a somewhat more deliberate action as one ages. Skill is needed to offset the loss of an overabundance of the exploding hormones of youth and to become consistent at satisfying your mate effortlessly. The real skill is in knowing exactly how to time every motion and exactly what touch to use to have complete control over the entire sexual experience. All steps are important and include creating the mood, becoming lost in the moment and oblivious to all surroundings, building the sexual tension, and then literally coasting to the climax of only one orgasm if that is all you desire, or to multiple orgasms of varying kinds if that is what you desire. The second secret is to learn to do it effortlessly so that the experience is fun and fulfilling and isn’t an ordeal. In order to accomplish that, you will probably have to learn much more about your own body and more about your mate’s body than you presently know.

BODY LANGUAGE AND MICRO BODY LANGUAGE

You can become so aware of your own and your mate’s body language AND micro body language that your sexual awareness and responsiveness is greatly magnified. You are probably at least somewhat familiar with body language, but in sex, it is the micro body language that you must also learn to identify and use to be effective. Micro body language is discussed in more detail later in the book. What a difference it is to have sex with a partner that projects and receives all of the subtle signals we all use to communicate sexually! It is much easier to learn from someone who has been there and done that rather than learning the slow and difficult way by wasting years of good sexual energy and consuming good relationships. Have you ever seen that information offered anywhere? I haven’t, and that’s another reason I am writing this book. It is for younger adults as well as postmenopausal adults. This book will help you tune your sexual transmitter and receiver to function more effectively. As an important side benefit, the knowledge will reach outside the sexual realm to make you a more effective communicator in general relationships.

SUBSTITUTION AND DIVERTING ATTENTION DOESN’T WORK TO SOLVE THE REAL PROBLEM

Humans are affected by sexual tension from before puberty onward. That tension manifests itself even more pronounced as menopause approaches. Lack of focus and concentration is one common symptom for younger people, and almost all postmenopausal women are perpetually frustrated and don’t have a clue why they are always in such a condition. Many suffer from chronic insomnia that can ultimately affect their health. For many years I have observed them in their nervous quest for a satisfaction and fulfillment and that included my own mother. I have seen people substitute anything from religious fanaticism, gardening, a cat or dog, bridge clubs, social butterflying, over-involvement with the minutia of grandchildren’s lives, civic activities, and dozens more things that divert their attention from the real problem of an unfulfilled or ignored sex life. These activities are just fine in their proper amount and priority, but when they are used as a substitute for a fulfilling sex life, trouble is brewing. This typically starts when their husbands lose the overrated ability to have instant and hard erections causing their husbands lose their male confidence and lose interest in satisfying the sexual needs of their mates. It could also start with their husbands developing a wandering eye caused by the wife’s complacency or disinterest.

The husband and the wife must become aware of the vital role of the production and regular release of hormones and pheromones that is biologically necessary to all persons’ sexual wellbeing and biological balance as long as we still breathe. When the husband puts too much time into playing golf, hunting and fishing, over indulgence with grandchildren, or fanatically chasing a hobby, you can bet that his mate will start doing the same and their sex lives will seriously diminish rather than build the expert level of sexual fulfillment that will ensure a healthy biology in advanced age. The results of ignoring this vital component of life ranges from a boring and unfulfilling stalemate relationship to divorce in many extreme cases.

YOUTH DOESN’T KNOW IT ALL

The next paragraphs are mostly for young people, but you old farts are welcome to read them because I guarantee some of it will strike a chord.

Most of us think we know quite a bit at age 35. I thought that I did. At age 50 I realized how little I really knew when I was 35. At age 70, I realize that I had just only awakened at the advanced age of 50 and have learned at least as much AFTER age 50 than I did before age 50. That goes for everything–including sex. In other words, because of more years of archived experiences and cross referencing the years of experiences with an analytical and curious mind, I believe that my life knowledge has doubled in just 20 more years. I fully expect that trend to continue at an ever increasing rate throughout life, but it doesn’t just happen without some sort of directed effort. I am nothing special, and anyone can do the same with a little curiosity and a sense of purpose.

SEX IS SO NATURAL THAT YOU REALLY DON’T NEED ANY INSTRUCTION, ISN’T IT?

Getting pregnant is natural. Good sex isn’t.

Just think about it logically for a moment. Who actually TAUGHT you how to have sex? Was it your father, your mother, a friend, a curious cousin, or did you actually think that your instinct was all you needed to use with trial and error to stumble and blunder your way to expert level? We all talked about it and thought about it incessantly, but none of us knew much more than where to put what, but not how to really be effective. We all knew that having an orgasm was as easy as falling down and we just trusted instinct to make wonderful things happen. Because it was so easy, we thought that we just do the same thing over and over again. Since small successes continued to be so easy, we just assumed that we were super stud, or super diva. The clitoris was sticking out like a face on Mount Rushmore and so our sex life centered upon our wonderful discovery and we stopped looking for the really hidden more sophisticated sexual treasures. What most of us didn’t realize was that were settling for topping our sexual abilities at a low level because it was easy to let our ego lull us into thinking we were better than we really were. We actually stunted ourselves because we had found something that worked and just stopped looking to see if there was still more to learn. We likely never really put ourselves in the roll of a student and we didn’t actively go after the information that would make us more highly skilled. We just grabbed bits and pieces as we could with no real conscious course of learning. It might have been our fault if there was really a place we could easily access useful information in one place, but there wasn’t. The information was sketchy to non-existent, scattered all over, and much of what I will be addressing in this book wasn’t widely known. As wonderful as Miss Clitoris was, we missed out on all of the best parts because we stopped actively trying to learn more about her friends. How could we have known that the rest and the best secrets were still hiding under the surface and out of sight, protected from the hordes of casual and ignorant who would defile them without the proper respect and finesse!

IF YOU SKIP READ THIS BOOK YOU WILL MISS A LOT

I have woven some of the specific physical and mental techniques all throughout the book purposefully repeated and scattered so that their discovery will be mixed with other relationship information. I have purposely repeated several key bits of information throughout the book, each time adding a little more information with it. I believe the repetition will help in the learning process and presenting a given point repeatedly, but slightly differently also aids in retention. I want you to have to type in internet searches when you run into words you are not familiar with so you can ground your new knowledge with your own efforts. If you don’t read the book in its entirety, you will miss many key words and important bits of information. My hope is that it will encourage those people who just want to take shortcuts to examine the whole picture and understand that it is the entire relationship that sets the stage for success. This entire book can be read in under 4 hours which is just a typical evening of television. It isn’t a large commitment of time, but the rewards are great if you will commit just that amount of time to understanding yourself and your mate. Then, the goal is to work out the details of physical and psychological parts of sexuality together which is tailored for your own individual sex lives based on where you see your own personal areas of misinformation, disinformation or lack of information. We have all been inadvertently influenced by misinformation and purposefully influenced by disinformation, and restricted through lack of information.

HORMONES AND PHEROMONES ARE POWERFUL

Ladies, I hate to pop your party balloon, but it isn’t any big achievement to be able to get a hormone dominated 18 year old lad stimulated to an erection. His organ will rise like baked bread many times a day (and night) whether you personally are around or not. Just about any female within the radius of a football field makes it happen just by being there. Your oozing pheromones that you had absolutely zero control over misting around you continually, put that 18 year old lad under your spell. The lad didn’t even know what hit him. That has to be a huge power trip for young ladies, but that power diminishes with time as your shining physical beauty and your pheromone and hormone production levels come down out of the stratosphere. When that inevitably happens, you will need some other skills to augment your feminine wiles. There might be a time when you are competing with ladies 20 or more years younger than you are who are still profusely oozing all those powerful natural chemical potions around your husband while your own magic potions are on the wane. Is that really a good time for you to be lax in maximizing your attractiveness? No, it is not! As the boredom sets in and you pay less and less attention to making yourself desirable to your mate, it is precisely NOW that making yourself the most interesting sexual being you can in every way is the most important thing you can do. Those hormones are nuclear bombs and you’ll need to know more about what is happening in your body and your mate’s body. Now is the time to be all you can be. Add to that, the other woman, just about ANY other woman, saying just the right thing to stroke the faltering ego of your mate can turn even the most well intentioned heads. Another woman batting her eyelashes with just the right smile is like a live worm dangling an inch in front of a hungry trout. You can no longer just lay there passively and be a mildly interested bed partner wearing your jeweled crown while you passively and unpassionately spread your motionless legs if you want a lifetime of love and full devotion from your mate. This wandering eye syndrome happens at any age, and it can happen with both men and women, so the dispassionate attitude goes both ways.

SEX IS A PHILOSOPHY

This next few paragraphs might seem irrelevant at first, but actually they are dead on target.

I was a karate instructor