Justin Lehmiller, author of Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How it can help you improve your sex life. He is a social psychologist and a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University.
Why research Fantasy?
Should we normalize fantasy? So many people feel shame or like they are cheating.
Are there hormones correlated with sexual fantasy?
What are Americans Fantasizing about?
Shame about fantasy – and who feels more ashamed.
Our our fantasies actually truth and should we act on them?
The difference between fantasy and desire.
Just because you have a fantasy about a threesome – should you do it?
Humans are poor predictors of future emotional states – Justin Lehmiller
What do people mean when they talk about “getting the spark” back. And is there a role for fantasy.
Sex quality versus quantity.
In his book Dr. Lehmiller talks about self disclosure and building trust….but it can seem fraught with backfire potential.
Should you share your fantasy with you partner? How do you know if it is safe?
Novelty – seems so simple but people have the same sex week in and out. Research shows couples who engage in the most acts of novelty tend to be the most sexually satisfied and the most successful at keeping the passion alive.
The most common fantasy and the one that doesn’t work out well when done in real life – threesomes.

Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life https://amzn.to/3ZkDW5K
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