A Way Through: Healing from Loss a Workbook

By Kathryn F. Weymouth PhD

Have you ever had something happen that affected you so profoundly that you wondered if you would ever get over it and feel normal again? This is grief, a consequence of loss. Whether it be from a death or any other life-altering event such as loss of a relationship, job, home, health, safety, belief, or any of the other losses we experience as part of living, we need ways to heal and integrate the experiences into our life.

The workbook, A Way Through: Healing From Loss, guides you through
how to tell your story
provides a check list to identify all the ways the loss has affected you
helps you see where you are in your healing process
helps you identify what remains to be healed
provides over 80 resources and self-help techniques for Healing From Loss

Used in the classroom, in workshops, in grief groups, in individual counseling, or on ones own, the workbook provides a structure that can be used as is or adapted to fit the needs of any program, instructor, or therapist.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Sep 23, 2016
• ISBN: 9781504359306

Kathryn F. Weymouth PhD

As an experienced counselor, researcher, and author, Dr. Weymouth looks at aspects of end-of-life care, dying, and death from an integrative point of view. Since being certified in Healing Touch through the Healing Touch Programin 1997 she has seen the benefits that energy healing and allied practices can bring to people suffering from pain, anxiety, restlessness, and fear. She brings awareness of these practices, how and when they are used, and the outcomes through her counseling and healing practice, writing, speaking, and teaching. Holding a PhD in psychology, certified in Healing Touch, and credentialed as an Advanced Practice Hypnotherpist she brings a combination of skills and perspectives that can best be described as holistic and integrative. [e-mail] kweymouth.com Other books by the author: What Obituaries Don't Tell You: Conversations About Life and Death A Way Through: Healing From Loss. A Workbook.

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Copyright © 2016 Kathryn F. Weymouth, Ph.D.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

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ISBN: 978-1-5043-5910-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-5930-6 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 10/27/2016

Contents

Introduction

A Word To Readers, Instructors, Facilitators, And Students

Personal Internal Resources: Anchoring Exercises

Exercise 1: Grounding Strength And Confidence

Exercise 2: Grounding Peace And Calmness

Ending The Exercise: Grounding Into The Here And Now

Section I Loss Through Death

Choosing A Story: Relating Through The Experiences Of Others

Deaths Are Not Equal

My Personal Losses

Making Lists Of Those Who Have Died

Deaths In My Family

Deaths Among My Friends

Deaths In The Community

Name And How I Knew Them

Deaths Of People In The Public Eye

Victims Of Mass Murders

Going Deeper

Working With The Specifics

Symptoms And Impact Chart

Interpersonal Dynamics

Questions About The Person Who Died

Beliefs And Relationships

Interactions With Individuals, Services, And Institutions

Loss, Grief, Integration, And Recovery

Integrating The Loss

Complicated Grief

Overview And Final Assessment

One Last Thing

Section II Other Losses

Working With A Loss

Symptoms And Impact Chart

Integrating The Loss

One Last Thing

Section III Resources And Self-Help Techniques

Acknowledgements

INTRODUCTION

T HIS WORKBOOK WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN to accompany What Obituaries Don’t Tell You: Conversations About Life and Death (Weymouth, 2013), but as many people pointed out to me, there are other losses that may be even more difficult to get over than a death. The workbook has therefore been expanded to include other kinds of losses that you have experienced and want to work with and process. It is divided into three main sections:

The workbook can be used with other books, programs, classes, groups, individual counseling, or as a stand-alone guide for individuals who want to process their own experiences of loss, grief, integration, and recovery. However, this is deep and challenging work that is most likely impossible to do alone. The important milestones in our lives are made more significant by inviting people to participate and be witnesses to the events. You may not want people to see your grief, you may have to search for the right people and the right group, but persevere. As much as I value teaching people self-help techniques, I am quite sure that trying to do all the grief and recovery work by yourself will not give you the healing that you want.

The work in the workbook will evoke many different memories and emotions. Since I know this to be true, why would I – or you - want to put a stick into this pot and stir it up? There are several reasons.

First, from each focus group that I did for What Obituaries Don’t Tell You: Conversations About Life and Death, the number one reason that they gave was that a workbook was needed to go along with the book so that people who read the book have an opportunity and a guide for writing about and telling their own stories of loss and death. They pointed out that we seldom have an opportunity to talk in depth and at length about death in general, and even less so about specific deaths. The people whom I interviewed for the book were quite emphatic about the need to bring the topic of death, and all that surrounds it, into the public discussion.

Second, thinking and talking about death can actually enhance life and relationships, as counterintuitive as that may seem.

Third, preparing for your own death gives you a much greater degree of control over your final days should you end up as a patient in the medical system, where heroic but useless, painful, degrading, and expensive procedures will be done unless you have discussed what you do and do not want with your family, and you have signed documents that clearly lay out your wishes.

Fourth, having everything in place is a great gift to your family and loved ones and gives you peace of mind. Not only does it ease the burden on loved ones of making decisions when they are least emotionally capable of doing so, the grieving process is softened when they can look back and know that they did what you wanted them to do. As the funeral director who was interviewed for What