This Is My Story, This Is My Song

By Sheila Turrentine

I felt a shift in my grieving as it went from earthly bound to heavenly bound; I could smile at just the thought of the day when I would see her face to face. I no longer cried because I wanted her back in my world, but I looked forward to the day that I would join her in her, new world. My heart-cry was gone and replaced with the peace of knowing that this earthly life is just a vapor of our existence.

This is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all day long! This line was continuously going through my thoughts as I began this book about the unexpected loss of Emilie, my 18-year-old daughter, in a tragic accident.

I lay open my heart and share the good, bad, and ugly of the whole emotional process. I cannot even fathom where or who I would be right now if I had no faith in God and his heart-healing power. Most of all, I want people to know that with Jesus they are not alone in their grief.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jan 15, 2016
• ISBN: 9781504970082

Sheila Turrentine

This is My Story, This is My Song is Sheila's debut autobiography of a select time in life. It took a little over two years to submit to the publisher even though she wrote the majority of it in January 2014. There was much of it that she still had yet to experience. She states, "I write like I talk, and I am not always grammatically or politically correct. No one intends to have to write about grief and loss, but life happens, and sometimes you need to share your testimony in order to encourage and comfort others." Sheila currently lives near Carmi, Illinois, a small Southern Illinois rural community nestled near the Little Wabash River. She has been married for twenty-seven years to Joe Turrentine of Norris City, Illinois. They have three children, Emilie Jo (forever eighteen), Peyton Wade, and daughter Samantha Reigh, ("daughter of my heart"). Sheila and her family attend Crossroads Bible Church in Norris City, Illinois. Through her writing Sheila wants her faith in Jesus to show foremost and to give thanks to God for His guidance and for the words to share her family's experiences.

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© 2016 Sheila Turrentine. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 01/15/2016

ISBN: 978-1-5049-7007-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5049-7008-2 (e)

AMP

Scripture quotations marked AMP are from The Amplified Bible, Old Testament copyright © 1965, 1987 by the Zondervan Corporation. The Amplified Bible, New Testament copyright © 1954, 1958, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

KJV

Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the Holy Bible, King James Version (Authorized Version). First published in 1611. Quoted from the KJV Classic Reference Bible, Copyright © 1983 by The Zondervan Corporation.

NIV

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. [Biblica]

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CONTENTS

Preface

Chapter 1: 27 Hours

Chapter 2: Holy Spirit Handover

Chapter 3: Night Vision

Chapter 4: God Goggles

Chapter 5: Bubble Wrap & Bagpipes

Chapter 6: Hometown Healing

Chapter 7: Prepare the Way

Chapter 8: Words I Reject

Chapter 9: When the Dirt Begins to Settle

Chapter 10: Building a Shrine

Chapter 11: Survivors’ Guilt

Chapter 12: Searching for Answers

Chapter 13: Is Everyone Staring?

Chapter 14: Mind over Emotion

Chapter 15: Strength

Chapter 16: Fasting & Acceptance

Chapter 17: Cotton Candy

Chapter 18: The Holidays

Chapter 19: Dream a Little Dream

Chapter 20: Song from the Throne Room

Chapter 21: Class of 2014

Chapter 22: Heavenly Birthday

Epilogue

Scriptures Of Comfort

High School Student Letters (unedited)

Prayer Vigil Letters (unedited)

Memorial Scholarship Donations

About The Author

To the local moms who have lost their children, whether it be by accident, murder, suicide or illness—

You are not alone!

PREFACE

This is my story, this is my song…praising my Savior all the day long! This line is continuously going through my thoughts as I begin this book about the unexpected loss of Emilie, my 18-year-old daughter.

Our church was getting ready to start a 21-day corporate fast at the beginning of 2014, and it just so happened to begin on January 2nd which means it had been exactly four months since she had been gone.

Weeks before the fast the Holy Spirit started dealing with me and revealing things to my spirit, and I started recalling events or emotions from the last four months. It was like a movie in my head when I lay down at night. I have been commissioned by God to write my story—the good, bad, and ugly of the whole emotional process. I am to lay open my heart and share everything with those who need to know that they are not alone in their grief or in their thoughts. (Commission: to authorize, to send on a mission)

I just read an article last week posted on Facebook by a friend about a mother’s grief, so I clicked on the link and read her story. Faith nor God was mentioned one time throughout the entire article. The story was depressing to me. How could anyone face this type of sorrow, grief, and mourning without Jesus holding them up while going through the worst days, weeks, and months of their life?

A portion of this article talked about how she was truly hurt by those who called themselves her friends who (she felt) only abandoned her in the time of her grief when she actually needed them the most. It made me wonder who she surrounded herself with, because my experience has been the total opposite. I felt love and support from those around me, reacquainted with old friends on a deeper level, and even made new, deeper God-based friendships. Lastly, she stated that there are hardly any books on the loss of a child, which is why she wrote the article in the first place. It seemed like further confirmation of what God had already placed in my heart to do.

One thing I do know is that my experience is mine and MINE alone, and no one will have the same. It’s like fingerprints. We may have common aspects, but we are created as individuals. Grief is a very personal and singular progression. My husband, Joe and son, Peyton are totally different than I am. They are quiet and keep their grief to themselves most of the time. I am hoping they are emotionally okay, because I can’t tell what is going on in their heads. Whereas I am totally comfortable talking about what happened and how I feel. However, starting from the beginning and writing it down is going to be tough, because I have to relive it all and try to put into writing those emotions that I have already worked through. Most likely I will face new ones in the process.

Like a single drop of rain

On still waters fall

Her life did ripples make

And touch the lives of us all

-Unknown

27 HOURS

Well, here goes everything…

Four months ago from today on September 2, 2013, I unexpectedly lost my daughter, Emilie Jo Turrentine. She had just begun her senior year of high school and also just turned 18 only four days prior. As a birthday gift she wanted to rent a pontoon boat and go swimming at Rend Lake with some friends. She had been planning this for a couple of months, and at first, I was not too thrilled with the idea and tried to discourage it. I even attempted bribery of another gift such as tattoo eyeliner. She was adamant that this was what she wanted to do; so we paid half the rental fee and bought a couple floaties and the food and drinks. I finally had to come to terms with the trip and had to let go of the parental reins to let her become the responsible adult I desired for her to be. She saved her money and handled all the planning for her big, birthday outing for the upcoming Labor Day weekend.

After a couple weeks of inviting close friends and changing the guest list several times (kids canceling, working or having other last-minute plans), when all was said and done, only a small group of 5 ended up going. Little did they know that their lives would forever be changed that day. Josh and Steve were the oldest and also college roommates, one (Josh) of which Em was (finger motions) ‘talking’ to. I know my daughter; she was planning to make him fall for her. The other two were close friends, Clayton and Emily, whom she regularly hung-out with at Bradshaw Park, one of the local teen hangouts where everyone parks and socializes.

That evening everyone spent the night with the boys in the living room and girls in Emilie’s room. It was basically a big ol’ slumber party with boxes of pizza, rough housing, very little sleep, and just an all-around good ol’ time. Of course, the girls had to prank the boys by throwing water on them sometime in the middle of the night while they slept. Everyone was up