He Carries Me

By Divine Light

How many of you have been hurt from the hand of a loved one? If you are one of us, there is hope and peace and even joy. Its hard to trust anyone who causes you pain. You dont know what to do or whom to turn to. We open our mouths, but nothing comes out. Our voices are not heard. Sit back, and read my story, and see what God has done. Because God has a plan for all of us. God will take his place in you when you least expect it. We dont have to see it coming; just wait for it. God is faithful; he has the last word on your life. This story is Gods and mine. Its my testimony. It is not always pretty and is not always easy to write or read, but to me, its as beautiful as the cross of Jesus. Divine light.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 9, 2015
• ISBN: 9781514432426

Divine Light

Divine is a very loving and caring individual who used his God-given gifts to give hope, comfort, encouragement, and love to every rider he encountered while driving for Uber. In this book, he shares some of those divine encounters with riders who needed some TLC. Divine started driving when he was a minister and later on became ordained as a pastor. However, he rarely mentioned to his riders that he was a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ because he wanted his riders to feel like they were opening up to a good friend instead of a minister or pastor. He wanted to positively impact the lives of his passengers in humility and meekness.

Book preview

The Beginning

I was six or seven years old when I met God, during the darkest and ugliest time of my life. I called him my invisible friend, the most important person in my life.

I'm a fraternal twin born on October 17, 1954. My mother had eight children in total. My parents came from Spain to the United States to find a better life for themselves. It was a busy household. Every morning, my mother would wake us up to go to school, but it was my father who would take us to school. They had everything under control.

After school, my father would also take us to the neighborhood candy store. I thought I was in a dream. Every type of candy you could imagine was right there at my fingertips. I was like a kid in a candy store! My father would let us choose one piece; I would always try to pick the biggest candy that would last me until dinner. I love the memories of the candy store. I also love the memories of playing all day in school. There were so many toys we were allowed to play with.

My parents had two more children so we had to move to a larger apartment.

First, we lived at the Forecastles Projects, where we started with three bedrooms, then we moved again to the Bombay Projects. There were four bedrooms, two kids per room. The apartment was very comfortable. I believe we were a happy family. However, not too long ago, I saw a picture of my sister and I. We were sitting on the grass in front of the Forecastles Projects. We were two little girls looking so cute. It was cold that day we had our coats and hats and anything else that would keep us warm. I couldn't believe how little we were. It was as if they were staring back at me. I froze. Looking at the picture made me angry, I couldn't help but think how young and innocent we were. But pictures lie.

I knew nothing of those little girls, only that we used to play house and called each other by the same name. It was a silly game we played. I don't remember much about it, I guess I was too young. However, I do remember Saturdays, when my mother would mop the floors and soak the floor with soap and allowed my siblings and I to get down on the floor and slide down to the other side of the hallway. We would all be wet, laughing together. This was a moment with my siblings and my mom that I could really say that I enjoyed.

School

I n 1961, I started at a new school at PS 255 from the second grade to the fifth grade. I remember one day, during those school years, I was at home with my father. That day, he made me his little girl. How do you like that? It was special. My father wanted to be with me more than anyone else. I was so happy with him. I don't recall what I did, but whatever I did made him take me to their bedroom. A place, my mother said no children allowed. I was surprise I barely could reach the window, and the furniture was huge. I was wondering, where are my siblings? Why were my siblings away from me most of the time when I would be with my dad? I didn't have that answer. I must be behaving extra good for my dad to want to be with me.

Year after year, I would be spending more time with my father. He would continue to advise me that our time together was, between us and I should not mention this to anyone. We had a good relationship, but why was it that my siblings weren't around as much? I always brushed the question off because I didn't understand the reason why. Was I behaving better than my siblings that I was not allowed to be with them while my dad and I spent time together? Didn't they deserve the same kind of love?

The new school was nice, and I met and made some new friends. It was fun being with other people besides my father, since I barely spent time with my siblings. In school, I had to read and write and also do some homework, which was new. I enjoyed being part of the outside world. I liked going to school. Unfortunately, things weren't always good. I had a serious problem with some girls who were not very nice to me. My mother always warned me about fighting in school or doing something she was not happy with. I didn't want to get into trouble, so I tried to avoid it. But instead, trouble came knocking at my door. I was getting beaten up by girls who actually enjoyed beating me up---not just one girl, but a few. They were bullies. I remember one time, they hurt me so bad I could barely walk home. The first time I told my parents, they blamed me, I knew I was going to be in trouble with my parents. I tried running, but the girls ran after me. There was nothing I could do. I was their target. At the end of the school year I believe they wanted to give me something to remember them by. They were going to give me the beating of my life. But something happened, someone came to my rescue. It was a girl that was bigger than me and tougher than me. She called them out and told them to leave me alone. I had never met, this girl. I wondered where she came from. I wondered if my invisible friend sent her.

Nightmare

N ot only was I having problems in school, but I was also having problems at home. At first, I thought everything was fine. But something was not right. My father wanted to love his little girl. Where was my sister? Why wasn't she with me? There were times I thought I was in a dream. I would go to my room to sleep, and in the middle of the night, I found myself in my parents' bedroom on my back in the dark, lying on the bed. There I met my invisible friend. I was never alone. I felt to look up and ask who are you and why am I here? Why couldn't I see him? Was it in my head, hoping someone would want to be here with me because something was wrong? I didn't understand why my dad did not want anyone with us. It was not fair to my siblings who also would have loved to spend time with him. He just wanted to continue doing what he was doing with me but I was not to happy with my father any longer. This was too painful. I didn't know why was I hurting. What was he doing to me?

I started wetting the bed. For the life of me, I couldn't get up. I couldn't get myself to the bathroom. Why was that? I started to get hit by my mother. It just started to happen. I tried so hard not to do this.

I would get a beat down. I tried to say something, but she did not want to hear me. I stopped drinking water or any liquids. But again, on another night, I couldn't get up. I stayed asleep. I never realized I was wetting the bed until it was too late. Morning came, and I was all wet from top to bottom.

Again, I would be severely punished. Little did anyone know that, that was caused by the relationship my father and I had. I didn't realize it until I was older. I don't remember being mad at my father for wanting to spend time with me. I thought he was being a good dad.

Innocently I wondered, Why me? What's the reason my father gets to treat me this way? I couldn't understand why I was chosen to be my dad's girl. I was unable to share these moments with anyone. Because of our special day, I became afraid of my dad. Why was that? I was his girl, but I was not enjoying these gatherings. What was he doing? Why was I in pain? Where was my mother when he was causing my body to hurt? Why couldn't I share with her what was happening?

I thought if I told someone what I was doing, I was going to get a beat down. I didn't understand the reason why I would be in trouble for something I had no control of. It got more aggressive having to be loved this way. There were times when I couldn't even walk. I did not want my father to spend time with me anymore. I couldn't stop him. I knew I wanted to be his little girl, but I thought I would be happy, but this wasn't making me happy. This was something I wanted to get out of without hurting my dad's feelings. He loved me because he always wanted to be with me. He never wanted to be with anyone else but me.

What kind of love was this where it had to hurt? He wanted to continue to love me. I was not liking this love thing. I was not feeling good about this. I was afraid, but I was not sure why. Did it have to hurt now? It never hurt me before.

Because of the love my father was giving me, I started to run away from home. I did not want to spend any more time with him, and I couldn't tell anyone about it. I did not want my mother to be mad at me. She might not like whatever it was we were doing. I had no clue what that was. But my father told me it was bad. Everyone seemed to be all right but me. No one knew that my dad was hurting me.

I remember going to my aunt's house. She knew nothing about what was going on. I was hiding down at the entrance of her basement. I tried to open the door, but it was locked. I stayed between both doors to the basement, and I found myself alone, as always, but I felt safe. No one was going to hurt me here. Nevertheless, someone saw me going into the basement, and I was taken back home. My mother didn't understand why I was running away from home. I had to keep this secret to myself.

The following day, everything went back to normal, as if nothing ever happened. My aunt