Warrior Wife: Overcoming the Unique Struggles of a Military Marriage

By Hillary Sigrist

When you hold the hand of a warrior, youre joining him on a questone that traverses glory and pain. Its a journey traveled by few, and fewer make it through till completion. Extraordinary men have run our colors across the battlefields of history, but behind them have been the women who have held vigil as they go.

This passage in matrimony is unique in the way the military will change you, your husband, and your marriage. PTSD, deployments, or never-ending household moves are just some ways a new normal lifestyle will challenge even the strongest foundations. But what doesnt break you will make you stronger if you let it! This book will illustrate the courage, support, and faith it takes to overcome the challenges of military marriages, as well as the tools, understanding, and insight to enter into the rewarding experience of being a warrior wife.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Aug 18, 2015
• ISBN: 9781512706406

Hillary Sigrist

Hillary Sigrist is a wife, mother of three, and child of God. After marrying her high school sweetheart, she began the journey into the life of a true warrior wife. Married to a special operations sniper throughout the course of this decade’s Middle Eastern conflicts, she learned firsthand the struggles of the extended battlefield experienced by the whole military family. After her husband separated from active duty, they moved to raise their family beneath the western skies of the Sierra Mountains.

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Copyright © 2015 Hillary Sigrist.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission. NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® and NIV® are registered trademarks of Biblica, Inc. Use of either trademark for the offering of goods or services requires the prior written consent of Biblica US, Inc.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

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Soldier photograph courtesy of Colby Q Bradley

Author photo by Felicia Kaye Photography

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-0641-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-0642-0 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-0640-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015912578

WestBow Press rev. date: 8/18/2015

Contents

Dedicated to

Preface and Acknowledgments

Foreword by Dawn Struecker

Introduction

1 When It Doesn’t Seem Worth It

•   Why Are We Doing This?

•   The Importance of Your Support

2 Deployments (Not the Hollywood Kind)

•   When Life Throws You Sticks and Stones

•   Battling Depression and Fear

•   Tragic Events at Tragic Times

•   Distance Doesn’t Always Make the Heart Grow Fonder

•   Empty Love Tank

•   Missing the Big Moments

3 When Plan Is a Four-Letter Word

•   Promotions

•   Making Hard Decisions Alone

•   Dealing with Disappointment

•   Home Is Where the Military Sends Us

•   LES (Leave and Earnings Statement)

•   Enlisted and Commissioned

4 A Light in the Darkness

•   Mandatory Fun

•   Trusting and TDY (Temporary Duty)

•   Above Reproach

5 Military Brats

•   Acting Out and Other Behavior Problems

•   Being a Single Parent

•   Welcome Home, Daddy

•   Your Parents and His Parents

6 Wounded Warrior

7 A Strand of Three Cords Is Not Easily Broken

•   Setting Boundaries

•   When to Ask for Help

•   Letting People Minister to You

8 To Everything There Is a Season

•   Growing and Learning

•   Thriving, Not Surviving

•   Why You’ll Always Be a Military Wife

Conclusion: God’s Care Package

A Note to Readers

Praise for Warrior Wife

Hillary Sigrist is a patriot wife with a passion for God. As she describes in her book, many of us wives married our warriors not truly understanding this military life we chose. After twenty-one years alongside my husband, I can agree that there will be times when you will be stationed in Hawaii, and it will feel like a desert." Warrior Wife will help to encourage you to know you are not alone. You will find comfort and companionship from the words and stories shared within this book. With faith, hope, and fortitude you can embrace this journey … your call to be a warrior wife."

—Karla Mettling, wife of an active duty colonel for over twenty years

"Warrior Wife is an inspiring account of the highs and lows that many military spouses endure. It is nice to have a book that addresses the hardships of being a military spouse from a biblical perspective. The testimonies included in the book provide a personal touch and allow the reader to connect on a deeper level with the messages shared throughout Warrior Wife. The theme of living a thriving life and not just a life of survival is one to be heard by all! Military spouses should read this book and be encouraged to keep going strong on the path God has set them on."

—Morgan Balough, wife of an active duty captain for six years

"Hillary Sigrist’s words will resonate with any military wife, regardless of branch or rank. I was personally encouraged by reading Warrior Wife while my husband was deployed. It reminded me that it is okay to have boundaries, that God can be trusted in and through every situation, and that I am uniquely gifted to be a blessing to my husband in this crazy adventure we call military life."

—Wendy Price Van Cleve, wife of an active duty major for eight years

Dedicated to

My warrior—I’ve always been proud to call you mine!

Thank you for being there to hold my hand

throughout all life’s battles and blessings!

My dad—From my earliest poems and stories,

you’ve always believed I had a message to share

and the gift to write it. Thank you!

Preface and Acknowledgments

The beginning of this book started in my nighttime journals during my husband’s second deployment. It was never intended to reach an audience. As I came back to it repeatedly over the following years, I realized what I was writing was not just my experience but that of many women I spoke with. I found myself talking to other wives and hearing how little they knew of this so-called military life. I also found myself advising them of the insights I had gained and vice versa. We were able to genuinely support one another just based on our similar circumstances. The resounding comment was always, I wish I had known more going in, or I wish I had been more prepared.

I began to realize my journal entries would become a book when I started researching Bible study materials for a small group of Ranger wives I belonged to. The options of books for military wives were slim and even slimmer for a Christian audience. The two books I came across focused solely on deployments, and with a sea of wives who were in double-digit deployment numbers, that was no longer the only challenge. So the book began and began and began several times. As I am now finally putting the finishing touches on this personal account of a military wife’s life, I am truly humbled that the Lord has chosen me for this purpose. He has helped me mature throughout this experience and provided countless people along the way to help me achieve this finished product.

The first person to acknowledge would of course be the man responsible for making me a warrior wife in the first place. My husband—without you I never would have been pushed beyond my limits and stretched to become the person I am today. I had no idea what I was in for when I married my best friend with his brand new private rank stitched on that green uniform. As challenging as it’s been, I’m forever grateful for joining you on this adventure and all the rest to come.

Next would be my mother and father. You have supported me in every area of my life far more than parentally required. I have always felt I could bring anything to you both and get nothing but love and grace poured upon me in return. Thank you for being there in every moment of my life,