The Fort Has Fallen

By Jack Drake

Have you ever felt that God has abandoned you? Have you felt that God’s blessings are showered on everyone but you? Have you ever felt that the promises of Jesus don’t stand up to the test? Are you ready to give up on your faith?

I have read lots of books that tell the stories of men's struggle to lay hold of their faith and make it real and relevant in today's world. These stories are often of men that are bigger than life, well-known actors, pastors, politicians, theologians, or corporate executives. Their stories are moving and inspirational, but I often felt a sense of disconnect when trying to relate to their level of financial, social, and spiritual standing.

If you have also had difficulty in wrapping your heart and soul around those stories, I hope that you give The Fort Has Fallen a read. You may find that your struggles and failures are similar to mine. Your victories may also parallel mine. Maybe your victories have never come, and there appears to be no indication they ever will. They can and they will—sometimes in a different way than you could have ever expected.
Please join me on a journey in which I struggled to resolve the reality of my faith as I went through a season in which my life was continually unraveling around me. It is not a journey of supernatural miracles or rising above drug addiction, deliverance from street gangs, or clinging to hope on the battlefields of Iraq. That is not what I was battling, and those are probably not your struggles either.

But the story does have a parachute that refuses to open, a first date that concludes with a 19-foot boat fighting eight- to ten-foot waves and several "battlefield" encounters thrown in the mix to move the story forward.
I am the guy that lives next door. I am the guy that you pass on the street who is wondering the same thing as you. Is my Christian faith relevant to my daily life? Well, read on and let’s find out.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jack Drake
• Release date: Sep 28, 2016
• ISBN: 9780692786109

Jack Drake

Jack was born and raised in South Bend, Indiana but the call of the sirens beckoned him to the Pacific Ocean off the coast of Santa Barbara, California. Jack worked as a scuba instructor and freelance photojournalist for nearly 10 years. He specialized in photographing and writing about the underwater world surrounding the California Channel Islands, but also traveled to the Red Sea and the Caribbean to document exotic marine life and explore shipwrecks. Jack’s work has appeared in such periodicals as Skin Diver, Oceans, Photo Methods, BioScience, TW England, Pan Asia, Ilfot and Grazi Neri as well as National Geographic books.For nearly twelve years, hardly a day went by when you wouldn’t find Jack in his wet suit and scuba equipment, and custom underwater camera gear in his hands. During his tenure as a scuba instructor, a gorgeous blonde girl named Dayna signed up for one of his classes, and captured his heart. They eventually got married and the family expanded to include daughter Danielle, and sons Connor and Torrey.After all those years, and nearly growing gills, Jack took a break from the ocean and took a temporary position as a car salesman in San Luis Obispo, California. Two years later he was one of the sales managers. But the sirens once again were calling . . . this time to the exquisite waters of Puget Sound in Washington state. The Drake family had soon relocated to Gig Harbor, Washington and spent nearly all their free time aboard their 28-foot cabin cruiser, Dances with Dolphins, exploring the San Juan Islands.Jack's most enjoyable and rewarding position was as Director of Rancho La Scherpa, a Christian Camp & Conference perched on top of othe mountains above Santa Barbra, California. The camp had a billion dollar view of the Pacific Ocean and the California Channel Islands. Jack introduced the sport of paintball to the camp and it quickly became the most popular activity.Currently Jack & Dayna are retired and enjoy the serenity of their home on the shores of Lake Eufaula in Oklahoma.

Book preview

The Fort Has Fallen

Spiritual Warfare is Real, and I was Losing the Battle.

Jack Drake

My life, my family and my marriage were in shambles

I called out to the Lord.

But there was only silence.

Copyright ©2016 by Jack Drake

Smashwords Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. Please do not participate in or encourage the piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

Contents

Introduction

Backyard Theology 101

The Underwater World in My Living Room

Leonard Has It—I Want It

The Aha! Moment at 280 Feet Per Second?

But God, you said that …

The Irresistible Smile is gone

The Fort Has Fallen

Picking Up the Pieces

Satan Waging War as a Dark Magician

Why was God Silent?

The Christian Next Door

How do I get back on track?

Never Saw It Coming

Writing on the Mirror

Father's Love Letter

New Perspectives

Don't Stand on the Rock—Be the Rock

Getting Eyes On What is Hidden

Just Say No

Can You Hear Me Now?

Who's Got Your Back?

Aimless Wandering

So Why Are You Waiting?

Been There Done That

Never Give Up the Fight

Acknowledgements

Introduction

I have had it; I am done with God. I did my part; God didn't do his, I proclaimed defiantly.

I have tried everything I could to be the man, the husband, the father that God wants me to be, I continued, but I have failed … or rather, God has failed me. I study the Bible, I believe God's promises, I labor in prayer. I knew my part as a follower of Jesus. I also knew God's part as the Lord of my life. He had let me down.

I was having lunch with Steve Miller, the Associate Pastor at Santa Ynez Valley Presbyterian Church in Solvang, California. Steve was also a dear friend besides being one of my pastors. But, I did not want to be here; it was the last place I wanted to be. Yesterday, I had called Steve to tell him I was resigning my position as a deacon, and I was also stepping down as the Director of Team Dangerous, our church's highly successful paintball outreach ministry.

And now I was explaining to Steve why I could not be part of the church any longer.

Steve, my life, my marriage, and my family are falling apart all around me. I am captain of a ship that has lost its rudder while trying to pass through a rocky passage on stormy seas. Violent waves are crashing on the deck of our ship and my family, and I are bouncing off one rock and heading toward another. We are taking on water faster that I can plug the leaks.

Despite the grave realities of our situation, I staked our future on God’s promise that he would intervene and save us from calamity, I continued. But God never showed up.

I was convinced that I had somehow made God mad, and he had turned his back on me. Maybe I could have coped with God’s anger if it was only me that was suffering the consequences. Why did my wife, Dayna, and the kids have to suffer as well? That is what angered me most.

As I explained my reasons for stepping away from the church, my bitterness at God was dripping from every word that I spoke. Steve had the discernment to let me dish out my tirade at the God that he loved and served, but the God that I now despised. I could see the sadness on his face as I unleashed a tsunami of angry words about God and how he had abandoned our family. The only destinations ahead were financial ruin and divorce.

How on earth did I ever get to a place in my life that I believed that God turned his back on me?

Well, that is the rest of the story. As you will see, things are not always as they appear.

Backyard Theology 101

I have read lots of books that tell the stories of men's struggle to lay hold of their faith and make it real and relevant in today's world. These stories are often of men that are bigger than life, well-known actors, pastors, politicians, theologians, or corporate executives. These men live and travel in a part of society that I will never know. Their stories are moving and inspirational, but I often felt a sense of disconnect when trying to relate to their level of financial, social, and spiritual standing.

If you have also had difficulty in wrapping your heart and soul around those stories, I hope that you give The Fort Has Fallen a read. You may find that your struggles and failures are similar to mine. Your victories may also parallel mine. Maybe your victories have never come, and there appears to be no indication they ever will. They can and they will—sometimes in a different way than you could have ever expected. Those victories, when they are divinely orchestrated, are the ones that have eternal value, not the quick fixes that make us feel better or more comfortable.

Have you ever felt that God has abandoned you?

Have you felt that God’s blessings seem to be showered on everyone but you?

Have you ever felt that God’s promises don’t stand up to the test?

Ready to give up on your faith?

Please join me on a journey in which I struggled to resolve these questions as I went through a season (three years) in which my life was continually unraveling around me. It is not a journey of supernatural miracles or rising above the drug addiction, deliverance from street gangs, or clinging to hope on the battlefields of Iraq. That is not what I was battling, and those are probably not your struggles either.

I am the guy that lives next door. I am the guy that you pass on the street who is wondering the same thing as you. Is my Christian faith relevant to my daily life? Well, read on and let’s find out.

This story may not have the drama of a man killed and brought back to life or someone that is miraculously healed of cancer or someone who was lost at sea for 45 days. But it does have a parachute that refuses to open and a first date with my girlfriend that concludes with a 19-foot boat fighting eight- to ten-foot waves off the coast of Santa Cruz Island. And there is a battlefield thrown in the mix to move the story forward.

Each segment of this story is like a piece of a puzzle that when joined, creates the story of my journey from claiming Jesus as my Savior, to a day many years later when I hated God so much that I demanded that God stay away from me and leave me alone. I viewed my Christian faith that I once had as merely a child's fairytale. As you will see, the story does not end there. As you read the story, don't worry about how all the pieces come together. They will before the journey is through.

It will be interesting to see if your struggles to make your faith relevant in your personal life, family life, and the world around you are similar to mine. Maybe you are in those trenches right now. Do you feel like you are caught in the middle of some unseen battle and that attacks are coming from all sides? Well, you probably are. The Bible is clear; spiritual warfare is a reality that we all must recognize. The good news is that you have the power to fight back and become the conqueror of all the forces aligned against you. But be prepared, you are probably going to get bloody.

Maybe the battle has not reached you yet—good. Read on and you will be prepared when you hear the battle cry of the enemy drawing nearer. If you are a brand new Christian, use my mistakes to develop greater spiritual awareness of the spiritual warfare that is raging all around you.

If the trenches of the battlefield are behind you, no time to waste. Get regrouped and refortified. The battle will be returning. Wherever you find yourself, learning about my mistakes may empower you to avoid days when your spirit is defeated and challenge you to Fight the Good Fight and receive the commendation from our Lord, Well done good and faithful servant. After all, does anything else make any difference? Other than longing to hear those words Well done, good and faithful servant. When we hear those words, we will know that we got everything else right.

I have never gone to seminary, so I will not be using a learned theological approach to addressing the battles I was fighting. This was a process of spiritual hand-to-hand combat—learning, discovering and experimenting on how to make my faith work in the real world, not as a result of sitting in a classroom discussing the concept of spiritual warfare but fighting it … day to day. Much like a band of soldiers who would rather be led by a sergeant who has experienced real combat than directed by a lieutenant from West Point who has studied the socioeconomic implications of aggression—an expert in theory, not battle.

This book does not read as a conventional book; it jumps forward in time and backward in time as fits the content that I am writing about. The biographical information in the early part of the book is necessary background information to understand how I viewed life and how certain perceptions about God and Jesus laid the foundation for significant spiritual growth but also set me up for a complete spiritual collapse. The second half of the book shares the spiritual truths about God that I discovered through an incredible interaction among events, passages from the Bible, and the Holy Spirit.

When I wrote articles for magazines, my writing was formal, and the presentation of my content followed a style book that was a required reference source for all journalists. As I wrote The Fort Has Fallen, my writing style was less structured, more casual. It is written like I talk rather than how I craft an essay. I hope you find that approach more engaging.

Some of the lessons that I learned apply to my particular situation, time, and place. Those principles have had an impact on my walk of faith, but they may not apply to your situation. In cases like that, I certainly don't expect readers to interpret my experiences as if they should be yours as well. People will have different perspectives, and that is good.

My