Mothers, Get off the Guilt Train

By Rev. Holly Thomas

If you are a mother who finds herself on the guilt train, whether put there by yourself or by others, it is time to get off that train.

What is it God expects from us as mothers? Have we accomplished His plan, or are we falling short? Learn how to get off the guilt train and get on with the real plan and purpose God has for motherhood.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jan 15, 2015
• ISBN: 9781490865973

Rev. Holly Thomas

Reverend Holly Thomas is an ordained minister, founder of Victory Ministries and Traveling Wedding Ministries, a speaker, pastoral counselor, and an RN. But her most important titles are wife and mother of eleven children and twenty-one grandchildren. Her experiences and counseling help women fighting a battle over guilt for things they have or haven’t done as mothers.

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Rev. Holly Thomas

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Copyright © 2015 Rev. Holly Thomas.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

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Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-6596-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-6597-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015900387

WestBow Press rev. date: 01/08/2015

Contents

Dedication

Introduction

Chapter 1: How Did I Get Here?

Chapter 2: Changing Cultural Expectations of Mothers

Chapter 3: A Mother As God Intends

Chapter 4: Knowing Your Enemy

Chapter 5: Battle Strategy

Chapter 6: Biblical Mothers Who Stood

Chapter 7: Scriptures to stand on

Chapter 8: Victory

Dedication

I   dedicate this book to my late mother who taught me what the unconditional love of Jesus Christ truly is and what true forgiveness m eans.

Introduction

I t seems everywhere I go, as a speaker, an RN, a counselor, with friends or family, in a Dr.’s waiting room or even in a line at the grocery store, I meet women who pour their hearts out to me. 90% of what they tell me is about the deep pain and heartache they experience from their children. Some of those children are still young, preteen, some are still living at home, and still others are grown with families of their own. But women everywhere are taking on the guilt to themselves for things they did or didn’t do as a mother. This guilt, unresolved, leads to lack of purpose, physical, emotional, and spiritual illness, and becoming crippled, unable to fulfill your purpose in God. When you believe you have failed with your greatest calling-Motherhood- you cannot believe you will ever accomplish anything else producti vely.

If you are a perfect mother, with perfect children; If you have never experienced a heart that has been totally crushed with words and actions of your family; If you are experiencing respect and honor for your sacrifices; If you have never felt totally unworthy, and unimportant; If this is you, then you don’t need this book.

But if you have felt the piercing of your heart by those you love most, so crushed and so destroyed that you have had a problem with mere existence, then you should read on as we discover together what God expects of us as mothers, and specifically as Christian mothers and how we can and must get over the guilty pattern we allow ourselves to be put into. Often we keep ourselves in that pattern.

Get off that guilt train. Let’s board a train of truth, responsibility, and true accomplishment in the one truth that is-Jesus Christ.

Chapter 1

How Did I Get Here?

S o where does it all begin? For me it started in childhood. Isn’t it funny how we internally know God’s plan and purpose for us even as a child. However, we grow and fight against that natural way and try to become something He never intended for us. Is it any wonder we so often fail in our own p lans?

As a young child, I had a passion for having a large family of my own. I also had a passion for nursing animals and humans, and consoling those with heartaches. All of those have proven to be my purposes in God but I bring this part of my life as a mother to the light.

I loved my baby dolls, never just one, but always a bunch. I would always try to be fair even to those inanimate dolls. In the middle of the night I would rearrange their order in bed so none would feel they had been left out. So as you can imagine, it was no surprise when I married young and began my large family.

The bond between mother and child is like nothing else in this entire world. From the minute you realize that life is inside of you, a bond is formed that never can be broken. Motherhood is the closest thing to God’s love that we will ever experience.

The marriage bond is another symbolization of God’s love for His church, but I am dwelling on the mother/child bond in this book. Until you have felt that mother/child bond you could never believe you could feel such a strong love for another being, even to the point of sacrificing life and limb if need be.

As infants and toddlers, children are totally dependent on their mother. This dependence teaches mothers quickly what sacrificial love means. All your thoughts, plans, and ideas focus around those little ones. It seems so difficult in the early years and it is very time consuming. After those children grow, however, you soon realize that those early years were the best and most rewarding. When children are young, you have the control button. You make the final decisions. You set the pace. Your NO can really mean no without argument.

It is true that you have given up all privacy. Never again will you be alone in the bathroom. Time for makeup and caring about your appearance is no longer a priority in your day. Those passionate intimate times with hubby often turn into Hurry up, the baby will soon awaken. A clean house? What is that?

If you are in that season of your life, I will tell you to enjoy it. Invest your time and emotions into those little ones. When I still had small ones, I had cross stitched a saying that hung on my wall. As I nursed my babies, I could read it daily. There was a picture of a mother rocking a baby in a rocking chair, and it read:

Quiet down cobwebs, Dust go to Sleep. I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

So true is that saying and so profound as I look back