Words from Grandma: How to Grow up to Be a Grown-Up and Not Just a Tall Kid

By Kathy Ortloff

If you dont have your own grandma near enough to snuggle up to and hear gentle words of advice, heres a book intended to be your special grandma. Grandma wants you to grow up to be a grown-up who is healthy, responsible, kind friend to others, and at peace with your life. She doesnt want you to turn forty wondering how you got to be just a tall kid.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Sep 30, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499078497

Book preview

Introduction

I have dedicated this book to my grandchildren, but I’m not really writing it for them. I’m writing this for all of you who don’t have a grandmother to give you advice. Maybe she lives too far away to see often enough for more than a few short visits a year. Maybe your family doesn’t get along and ties have been broken. Maybe your grandmother is no longer living. Everyone needs a grandmother, and I am volunteering to be yours: to give you advice and encouragement, to be your cheering section. I want you to be my special grandchild.

Why am I aiming this advice at sixth graders? Firstly, many cultures throughout history have considered age 12 to be the entrance to adulthood and have elaborate ceremonies to show you have passed from being a child to now being an adult member of the tribe.

Secondly, up to now you have not had much chance to make your own decisions and get around without a parent being with you. In short, you haven’t had many opportunities to really mess up yet. In a few short years you’ll be much more independent, mobile and unchaperoned.

Thirdly, if not already, you will soon be physically mature to where it will be possible to have babies. In many societies throughout history, as soon as children became physically mature, they were married off, especially girls. In America you won’t be married off at 12 or 13, but being physically able to bear children or to father children means you carry grown-up responsibilities.

Fourthly, about this age you start having questions and fears about your future and may not want to ask the grown-ups in your life. We all hate to ask a dumb question and are sure everyone else knows all the answers and has no fears about the future. Don’t believe it for a minute. My purpose in writing this is to give the advice you may be missing and to hopefully answer the questions you don’t want to ask. But I am just your substitute Grandma, so keep talking to the real grown-ups in your life.

Chapter 1

Families

Families are kind of like snowflakes: each one is different. Some are dazzlingly beautiful, while others are broken. I know some of you reading this come from homes where there is rarely enough food, you hear arguments over paying bills and many other subjects, there may be physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. Others of you come from homes where all your needs are met and there is an abundance of love. And 98% of you are on a sliding scale between those two extremes. My goal is to help you grow up to have your own home that most closely resembles the second kind.

If my goal is to help you become a grown-up, and not just a tall kid, how do I define grown-up? A grown-up is a person who thinks of others, is financially responsible, can put off wants to take care of needs and knows the difference, takes care of his/her health, can be depended on, tells the truth, can come through a crisis and go on. This almost sounds like the Boy Scout motto, doesn’t it?

Actually, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, 4H, sports, and other organizations for kids may not have it written down as one of their purposes, but every one of them hopes to help you become a responsible grown-up. Their purpose is not just to teach you to paste alphabet macaroni onto popsicle sticks, even though that may be one of their activities. In that craft you are learning patience and fine motor skills as well as relating to others your age and to your leaders. All that from a simple craft!

If you read the previous paragraphs and thought No way – I’m only 12. I can’t do all that! You are right. Just as you are not expected to be your full height now, you