Pastors Cry in the Dark: The Journey

By Dr. Nadine A. Forrest

Pastors Cry in the Dark is a much-needed book and should be a part of everyones library, whether they are in the ministry or a layperson. Dr. Forrest has pulled open the curtain to reveal a side of the ministry that the public never sees. She touches on one of the greatest challenges of leadershiphow to provide the security of those under you even when you are facing internal struggles due to the weight of leadership. This book not only provides hope for pastors by showing there is someone who understands the unmentioned struggles they face, but it is also a wonderful resource for the layperson by showing how many times your pastor is carrying a hidden burden he or she is unable to reveal. Armed with this knowledge, church members can be a blessing to their pastor by letting them know they have the support of their congregation during difficult times.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Apr 24, 2017
• ISBN: 9781543417234

Book preview

Copyright © 2017 by Dr. Nadine A. Forrest.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2017906133

ISBN:   Hardcover   978-1-5434-1721-0

   Softcover   978-1-5434-1722-7

   eBook   978-1-5434-1723-4

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Unless otherwise indicated, Bible quotations are taken from The King James Version of the Bible; Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Rev. date: 04/24/2017

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Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1 Pastors Cry In The Dark

Chapter 2 The Call To The Pastorate

Chapter 3 Moving Out On The Word!!

Chapter 4 Spiritual Depression

Chapter 5 The After Effect

Chapter 6 Don’t Be Afraid To Call For Back Up!!

Chapter 7 Throwing Out The Old; Bringing In The New

Chapter 8 David’s Cry!!

Chapter 9 Stunted Growth

Chapter 10 Testimonial - Crushed!!

Chapter 11 TestimonialHidden Weaknesses

Chapter 12 Bleeding While Feeding

Chapter 13 Suffering Lack!!

Chapter 14 Paul’s Cry

Chapter 15 Joseph’s Cry

Chapter 16 The Wounded Leader

Chapter 17 Pursue

Pastors Cry in the Dark is intended to bring into the light many of the hidden challenges that leaders face. In addition to the everyday struggles common to everyone, pastors must also live with the difficulty of being transparent at all times. Because of this, we face issues that we cannot bring to the forefront, thus many times forcing us to suffer in silence.

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INTRODUCTION

For many years I have had the privilege of observing and studying pastors and leaders. From my observations, I have learned much of what goes on both above and beneath the surface. Of course, at a cursory glance, everything on the surface seems to look good. Their lives seem to convey a larger than life image seemingly without a care in the world, thus making their position desirous to emulate, and their position of authority something to be envied. They seem happy on the outside, always filled with hope and encouragement for others while nothing ever seems to get them down. They are always quick to give advice and make themselves available to the ones they serve.

As I continued my observations, I began to notice how their families seemed to lack for nothing. The problem was, I was on the outside looking in; and everything I saw with the naked eye seemed attainable, yet I didn’t desire this position. My yearning was to serve. I didn’t mind being the assistant, the armor bearer, and the worship leader. I didn’t desire the responsibilities that came with being the senior pastor. Instead, I was content being the secondary leader. Then, one day the spirit of the Lord spoke to me concerning ministry and the pastorate. I will be the first to admit, it wasn’t the happiest day of my life.

I didn’t like to talk much and I definitely don’t like people in my space. Besides, I was too much of a lazy person to think about writing sermons, especially several a week. The Lord spoke to me through the prophet with a question. Ask her if she’s ready to walk in the pastorate.

Being the feisty person I am, I told the prophet to go back and tell the Lord, NO! Unfortunately, the prophet ignored me and left me to ponder this big step that I must say Yes to. For the gifts and calling of GOD are without repentance (Romans 11:29).

Saints of GOD, this is where my crying in the dark began. After finally yielding and accepting the pastorate, I began to understand the pain hidden behind the smiles, the struggles behind the pulpits, and the fights in the nights. I realized that leaders are the greatest actors, and please don’t take my statement out of context. It is not meant as a criticism. What I mean is that we are good at hiding our pain, and good at crying inside without any outward tears. We smile on the outside while dying on the inside.

We suffer in the silence. We are perceived to be people who are expected to relieve the pain of others while getting rid of their troubles, help with their struggles, and wipe their tears, while many times taking their burdens upon ourselves. We cannot do this if those we are ministering to are filled with worry and concern about our burdens. Thus, in order to convey a position of strength, confidence and reassurance, it becomes difficult to share our own pain for fear of not providing a sense of security for those under our care.

Accepting the call to the pastorate has been beneficial and rewarding, yet it is also emotionally, mentally and spiritually challenging. In this book, I want you to see that pastors are humans who suffer just like any other individual, and perhaps more than others. As a pastor, I’ve encountered many leaders who seemed to be perfectly fine on the outside while privately suffering from various insecurities, inferiority complexes, depression, and being plagued with suicidal thoughts.

These leaders are crying in the dark and suffering in the silence. This is even more problematic because depression has become an embarrassing and almost taboo word to mention in the church. Many times it is looked upon as an excuse for sin, and a person simply needs to get right with GOD. While that may be true in some instances, the reality is depression is a legitimate medical issue in some instances; but leaders are afraid to admit that they are suffering from it! How many more leaders will have to commit suicide before we pay attention?

What is tragic is if a pastor had diabetes or some other medical issue no one would think twice about his bringing the issue to the church for prayer and talking about it, but when a pastor or loved one is diagnosed with depression, we feel it is something to be ashamed of. We have got to remove the stigma attached with mental illness and be willing to address the issues at hand. We don’t have to be afraid of the dark. The Lord GOD dwells in darkness, so the dark isn’t always negative, it’s just private.

In this book I will share some of my various struggles and testimonies, along with the testimonies of others who have cried in the dark. You don’t have to be a pastor to read this book and be encouraged. If you are simply a child of GOD and find yourself struggling and crying in secret, this book will help you to not be afraid of exposing your emotions. Be encouraged and know that it’s okay to cry and expose yourself. GOD isn’t afraid of our human emotions. As a matter of fact, he created us with emotions so we can feel free to cry out loud! So, let’s go on this journey together.

CHAPTER 1

Pastors Cry in the Dark

A crying Pastor is not a sinning pastor. Crying is an emotion all human beings experience at some point in their lives. We cry because we are happy, sad or hurt, but regardless of the reason, we all share this emotion. Pastors/leaders are not exempt; we experience all the same emotions like fear, anger, rage, sadness, joy, disgust, anticipation, etc.

Dictionary.com defines crying as demanding attention or remedy. It is to utter inarticulate sounds, especially lamentation, grief or suffering, usually with tears in addition to demanding resolution or strongly indicating a particular disposition.

What does it mean to cry in the dark?

Crying in the dark is lamenting secretly. It is having hidden fears and failures, thoughts that overwhelm, and things that are normally criticized because of a title. Things not shared in the public eye. It is like King Hezekiah, who outwardly displayed confidence and security to the people of Israel when the city was besieged by the Syrians. The people were starving, wondering how they were going to survive. When one of the women came to him and told the king things were so bad mothers were eating their own children, he rent his clothes and the people were shocked to discover he was wearing sackcloth underneath. He had his own heartaches he was dealing with that he kept from his subjects.

Many young people desire the prestige of ministry, thinking it is an easy, cushy job where the pastor only works a couple of days a week, without really understanding the great responsibility that is placed on leadership. It is dangerous to desire a ministry by sight