The Dreams We Left Behind

By Virginia Ada Egbujor

A failed family-arranged marriage in Europe made a young woman, to give up her dreams of living and working in England. She had also dreamt of having and rearing her children in the new country. She returned to her country of origin, when the arrangement failed. She left, despite acquiring a legal right to stay. The rejection by the man she had come to marry, in real terms, precipitated severe isolation for her in a foreign country.

She managed to complete a course of study, and it was time to return to what is logically her natural habitat; in other words her comfort zone.

On her way home; (in the aircraft taking her home) she did a long subjective and objective soul-searching. She questioned the effect of her upbringing, which may have resulted in her near-nave attitude, low assertive instincts, and the tendency to say yes, even when she felt otherwise. She blamed the Nuns who forced these on her during her formative-teenage years at the Mission Boarding school.

The home-coming was celebrated by the meeting of three former boarding school friends at the national event of serving their country. It is customary to give a year of service at the successful completion of young persons tertiary education. The friends had long reflections on what happened at the Boarding School, in their teenage years. It was quite a long analysis, and the friends, now adults, were able to see that in spite of everything they thought went wrong, a lot of good was also achieved. This in effect mitigated against the hardship they suffered as teenagers.

At the end of the novel, the protagonist could realise that she had no need to travel to Europe to achieve her dreams (all that I need is here, she thought, in the words of one of her favourite Yuletide songs, by Dina Carrol). This was actualised in the new life she found for herself.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Dec 29, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524667634

Virginia Ada Egbujor

Virginia Ada Egbujor, is a Literary Fiction writer (Novelist); and lives in the West Midlands of the United Kingdom. Her other novels are: "As the sky darkened....." "Footprints of the Amazons" "A lonely place to be; the tale of a migrant" "The wounded Warrior" "Reflections in the crowd"

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© 2017 Virginia Ada Egbujor. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 12/29/2016

ISBN: 978-1-5246-6762-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-6763-4 (e)

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Dedication

I dedicate the Novel to my children.

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M ary sat on the

sofa in her small living room of her one bed flat. The mail man has just dropped her mails through the door of her ground floor flat. She has been expecting an important letter from the solicitor. She went and picked her mails and amongst them was the expected mail. She picked it out of the others and opened it. It was her decree nisi. It was from the courts and literally states that: why not: the court does not see any reason to prevent her divorce from Jason Madu. The five-year marriage has irremediably broken down due to the behaviour of one of the parties.

Mary has fully consulted her solicitor prior to taking action on her fledgling marriage with Jason, and was fully advised of her rights. The marriage was conducted in two phases. The initial stage was carried out in Nigeria where both parties share as home in varying degrees as Mary informed her solicitor, Jane McFarlane. The primary phase is known as traditional marriage phase. This is carried out in most African communities. In this, many communal rites are carried out. This may include payment of the dowry or bride price. Some female activists object to this. Mary would not count herself among these. She was born and raised in Nigeria and is aware that in her part of the country, inhabited by the Igbo marriage without the traditional aspect is null and void as the lawyers would say. The relatives on both sides come together to feast and celebrate the marriage of the two young persons, male and female. For the parents of the bride it is the realisation of a cogent dream. It is the culmination of the success of raising ones daughter and bequeathing her in marriage to a responsible and honourable family.

Jason’s family participated. Though Mary Ejim, the bride was born and bred in traditional setting, her husband Jason is a second generation immigrant. He was born and raised in Great Britain. He had barely visited home, also in the heart of Igbo land on rare occasion. The marriage was initiated by third parties; namely Jason’s parents who are retired and presently live more at home than their other home in England.

Then after the ceremony involving eating and drinking, a token amount was paid in lieu of the actual bride price. The bride price could be substantial amount of money from the bridegroom and his family to that of the bride. It was just a token in this instance. The second phase of the marriage between Mary and Jason was completed in England in a marriage registry. Obviously, as Mary told her solicitor, that was contrary to the expectation of both families at home. They are both devout Catholics and marriage in a church; in precise terms, in a Catholic church is the only one they recognise as such.

Mary observed, as she recounted to her solicitor; a shift in Jason’s behaviour when she arrived in England. There was evidence of luke-warmness and apparent ‘dragging of the feet’ on his part in the issue of church marriage and other aspects of living.

As Mary read her letter from the court via her solicitor, more information was present. The full content was as follows In UK Divorce Law, decree nisi is granted when a court is satisfied that the petitioner is entitled to a divorce it went on to explain what Decree Nisi means in full, it went on: When the court grants a Decree Nisi, you have to wait six weeks and one day, before you can make your divorce final. The one day addition raised a strange chuckle in Mary, she would have known by now that these near outlandish remarks or statements often occur in legal literature. So why the one day added to the period of waiting? As she read on she found out that it is to give time to anyone who objects, to tell the court the reason for their objecting. In simpler terms, Decree Nisi tells you that your divorce is almost competed. After six weeks and one day, you can apply for the Decree Absolute. This means your divorce is completed and you are no longer married to your partner.

Mary heaved a sigh at that point and began to relay in her mind the interview she had with her solicitor; Jane McFarlane when it was made clear the possible grounds for her to achieve a divorce. The list was cogent, and it went thus you must be able to prove adultery, or prove that your partner has behaved in a way that makes you think that you can’t carry on living together under the circumstance. This can be designated as unreasonable behaviour". Others, Mary remembered, included having been separated for five years before your divorce is filed or your husband has deserted during the past two years prior to the filing of the action for divorce.

Mary picked the letter and read it over and over before going to prepare her breakfast. As she boiled the egg for her breakfast, she went on assessing the points again in her mind. She had selected the second reason in her divorce, though the first condition of Adultery could also be probable, she could not prove it with her limited resources. This could be in terms of having strong links and any documented evidence. She could not get hold of Jason’s mobile phone. She could swear that there are several female liaisons still calling his phone. There was no need to embark on a witch hunt or inflict stress on Jason. Jason has not directly done anything that could be termed harmful; at least on the physical realm. He had adopted a more subtle way to bring about unwanted behaviour. Perhaps that was part of his being born and raised in British social infrastructure. He would not raise his voice or argue. He chooses to ignore you. He appears to be carefree and nothing really amounts to anything to Jason. In a way he sometimes comes across like Mary doesn’t exist. On one occasion, after she had been talking away for a long time, addressing him personally with no response from him, Mary asked directly are you hearing what I’m saying Jason? Yes, I am he answered then why can’t you at least say something I’m a human being as well. Oh he said nonchalantly I don’t respond to everything that I hear. How many things have you responded to me recently?. Mary tried to reciprocate his sarcastic stance. Still glued to the windows of his mobile phone, he said in a most disinterested manner, he answered Don’t know, to be frank, I’ve not given any count. This and many other episodes in the bare existence of the couple, made Mary at best, believe that this union has no future and should not have taken place. Mary was sure Jason’s general lethargy was unhealthy and was indicating absence of interest which nurtures any union or association. How long can anyone live with another who sometimes ignores the existence of the other. She taught that the process of getting married was wrong in the first instance. It was all done through the actions of third persons. But what role did the direct people, herself and Jason play? She considered it enough, for instance, after the initial introduction; they contacted each other for nearly six months. Then Jason came home and they met face to face. During that period that lasted over five weeks Jason visited her family on several occasions. She can admit that there was no one to one interaction between the would be couple. Well, that is acceptable by the standard that Mary was brought up as a child at home and strictly enforced by the nuns at her boarding school as a teenage girl. According to laid down rules, no self-respecting girl would have close relationship with a man before he marries her. Mary therefore did not blame the oversight as to Jason’s behaviour on herself. She could confirm that he responded well and showed keenness on her after the introduction. He even gave the green light, meaning; the go ahead to his parents to officially declare his intention to marry her. This was accomplished according to tradition of sending appropriate wines and other gifts to her father. This was followed by the acceptance of the gifts and the confirmation by the head of her family, her father to the intending in laws to proceed to the next stage. This would only happen if the father has secured the consent of his daughter as well. Mary did consent when she was asked by her father. The question was put in simple terms: The day was a Saturday after Jason’s father’s visit with his elder brother on the previous day. Her father had called her by name in the presence of her mother and asked Mary, he said do you want, or will you be willing to be married by Jason, Angus Madu’s son. She remembered answering yes" to her father’s direct question. Then where did it all go wrong? She also remembered they went on speaking on the phone at the end of Jason’s visit. But it is true, Mary conceded, the length of time concerned was not enough to decipher what is a person’s personality. Professional psychologist may succeed in matters of that nature. Her degree in the social sciences could not afford her that proficiency of reading what is in a man’s mind long term.

Mary finished her breakfast and made a call to Janet McFarlane. It was to confirm the receipt of her Decree Nisi. Janet stated that there was no surprise that she was successful in her bid. She said You see Mary; this is a civilised free society. Mind you, I’m in no way insinuating otherwise in your country. No one can force you to stay in a loveless non-functioning marriage just for the sake of being married. I believe Janet continued, things will proceed from there. If I may ask Mary is there a chance of Jason objecting? If not, she continued, it will be a relaxed waiting game for six weeks and a day and you will be free. Mary, in apparent light-hearted manner said If I may ask, Janet, what is the need for the extra one day to the six weeks?. Janet answered in equally light-heartedness. Oh Mary never mind that, it all goes in accordance with the saying that the law is an ass. Mind you that does not indicate the ass as a foolish animal it rather depicts the Ass as what it is, a humble, inclusive and accommodating being. The law is ready to be fair to all, including all their well founded wishes and aspirations in humane methods. Therefore if Jason’s sensibilities are awakened and he sees the great loss it will be to lose you for ever, and if he could express a tangible reason to want the marriage to continue he would be given an audience. It will only constitute a delay for you, if you want to move on with your life as soon as possible. Both ladies laughed.

Mary quickly realised how long she had spent on the phone and how much it means to her bill. As if Janet was reading her mind said Mary I suppose you could drop in at the practice tomorrow or the next; to get more details and plans towards your application for your Decree Absolute all things being equal Mary confirmed she would go to the Practice the next day to receive further advice on how to apply for her Decree Absolute. She took leave of her solicitor on the phone. She has not been only a solicitor. She has offered tremendous support and has acted as an elder sister. Who said that all white people are uncaring and indifferent to others who are not the same colour to them? Mary knows that kind and nice people can be found in any race or colour. She was thankful to a friend at her cleaning job at the supermarket. Grace also was a student at her university where she had recently enrolled for a degree in business management; it is a Masters Degree category. Grace on her own part had also completed a process of divorce and was advised at Janet McFarlane Solicitors. She had to divorce a man who was two- timing her with a fellow man. It was a straightforward affair because adultery was established. Her former husband came out and accepted culpability of Adultery while in a relationship. When it was over there was no heartaches or any acrimony. There were no children involved and the numbers of victims were limited. The same applies in the case of Mary Ejim. At the end of Grace’s divorce her former husband, Gabriel, apologised for wasting her time in the period spent together. He explained that he was born like that, he went on to say that he did not spite Grace and wished her well and hoped she would find someone who deserved her good caring qualities. Grace on her part had no axe to grind against him and also wished him well.

Mary could see what seemed to be an upsurge in divorce trend.