My Forever Angel

By Candi Usher

How do you let go of the person you've only just begun to know and love?  The person who's breathed the same breath because of you.  Shared your blood.  Shared the same heartbeat as you.  Yet, that person would never be able to feel the sunshine.  Never smell the rain.  Never see the blue skies.  The sound of beeps and the voices of doctors and nurses are all he or she will hear.  Your voice creates little smiles that disappear quickly because of the energy it takes to create them.  You leave your heart in that bassinet every time you have to leave the hospital.  You know you have to let go...but there is a disconnection between your heart and mind.  You're shattered inside, yet no one can see it. How do you ease the pain of letting go?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Candi Usher
• Release date: Feb 9, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215655894

Candi Usher

I'm a mother, author, Veteran, future minister, and future psychologist.  Everything I've experienced is not just a life lesson for me, but a chance to help others and guide them through the same mistakes or keep them from making those mistakes.  My life is an open book that some may think is too open.  I don't.  I believe that it's the kind of vulnerability and accountability that can help people see that yes I'm a Christian, no my past isn't perfect, yet it doesn't define me.  It just shaped me into who I am and who I'm becoming. 

Book preview

To My Forever Angel

Desperate, I started praying so hard at that moment; I needed a miracle; this miracle was necessary! Nothing in this world was more important than my son gaining the ability to breathe on his own. I dug deep inside to find my faith, trusting that the breath he was fighting for would become stronger. I could not consider any other possibilities or outcomes besides the surety of his life.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

My Angel

Prologue

Chapter 1

The Navy brought me to the Naval Station Norfolk, in Norfolk, VA. I was dealing with the burden of leaving my son, yet again, in Georgia. I entered the Navy two years prior for him, as he deserved a better life and a better chance. I refused to let him walk down the same road as his bio.

Oh, I forgot to introduce myself; I am so sorry. My name is Dee Jacks, and my son’s name is Tony Tom. Yeah, I know both of our names sound corny, but it is what it is (laughing out loud). I was born in Hampton, Virginia, and raised in Valdosta, Georgia, a small town where everyone knew everyone. I had a ton of relatives and friends there, creating a sense of belonging and safety within.

Outside of family and friends, I met my now ex-husband in Valdosta. During our relationship, we had a son together, Tony. I went through a lot with my ex, as he did terrible things, and I made some bad choices too. With everyone insinuating that Tony would end up just like him, it was time for me to end the marriage and shield my son from the darkness of his father.  Reclaiming our lives, I decided to enlist in the Navy, and I wasn’t going to look back.

The Navy didn’t function around nor accommodate the needs of single parents, so it was difficult to find childcare, as my first duty station was a Marine base.  My family and best friends extended their help during that time, and I was so grateful for them.  Eventually, I left my first duty station in California, settling on the East Coast with easier access to my child.  Additionally, I was able to take a leave of absence for a couple of months, and it was so much fun. 

Sadly, the fun ended, and I reported to my ship. I was not looking forward to this life, but when I enlisted, I felt like I was out of options.