Here Today, Ghosted Tomorrow: When Someone Disappears from Your Life

By Gregory L. Jantz Ph.D. and Keith Wall

Get the practical tools, psychology, and hope to deal with ghosting and the tumultuous emotions that follow in this easy-to-read handbook by Dr. Gregory Jantz! With Here Today, Ghosted Tomorrow, you will learn:

• What ghosting is and why it matters
• Why people “ghost” (and why it hurts so much)
• The 7 damaging effects of ghosting (betrayal, rejection, mental health issues, and more)
• How to regain hope and heal any pain and abandonment

Was it something I said? What did I do wrong? How can I fix this? If a friend or loved one has ever ghosted you, the pain can sting like deep wound. But you can overcome this grief, even without the closure you might think you need. Enjoy having:

• Real, relatable stories
• Definitions, statistics, and easy-to-understand summaries
• Tried and tested psychological and spiritual advice
• Encouraging scriptures to heal

Has someone in your life cut off all communication with you, abruptly and without explanation, leaving you feeling hurt, abandoned, and perplexed? Without a word, they just stopped responding to your phone calls or texts? Maybe you’ve been blocked on social media or no longer see them at church or the office? Ghosting hurts, and it casts a showdown of doubt and uncertainty upon your sense of self-worth. But there’s hope in resilience and healing.

Get Practical Advice on What To Do If You’ve Been Ghosted

Featuring helpful checklists and research in an easy-to-read format, Jantz's Here Today, Ghosted Tomorrow doesn't just give you basic, one-size-fits-all explanations. This handy resource gives you detailed, step-by-step tools and encouragement to grow stronger and more resilient in your current and future relationships. Gain practical tips like:

• 10 ways to deal with rejection
• What to do if a ghoster reappears in your life (what to say, and how to protect yourself)
• How to evaluate whether or not you should reconnect
• Know if there are ever healthy reasons to ghost someone
• And more!

Enjoy Having the Tools to Grow and Become More Resilient

You don’t have to just move from one toxic relationship to another! You can gain the skills and tools to find friendships that are healthy, nurturing, and positive. When you leave the negativity behind, you will also be equipped with simple tools to build safe and trusted relationships built on mutual support. Some of these tools include:

• 5 steps to recover from a toxic relationship
• 10 signs someone has a good heart
• 7 ways to invest in health relationships
• And more!

Are you ready to renew your hope and confidence as you look forward to enjoying healthy relationships in the future? Get started with Dr. Jantz’s Here Today, Ghosted Tomorrow.

Here Today, Ghosted Tomorrow is perfect for individual and group use. Great for counseling, discipleship, singles groups, small groups, church giveaways, and more!

About the Author Dr. Gregory Jantz
Dr. Jantz's center, "A Place of HOPE," is recognized as a top ten facility in the U.S. for the treatment of depression. Dr. Jantz is a best-selling author of 30 books. He is a go-to media source expert for a range of behavioral-based afflictions, as well as drug and alcohol addictions. Dr. Jantz has appeared on CNN, FOX, ABC, CBS, and has been interviewed for the New York Post, Associated Press, Family Circle, and Women’s Day. He is also a regular contributor to The Huffington Post and Psychology Today blogs.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers
• Release date: Oct 3, 2023
• ISBN: 9781496481214

Book preview

Introduction

Have You Been Ghosted?

Has someone in your life cut off all communication with you, abruptly and without explanation, leaving you feeling sad, abandoned, and perplexed?

When a person chooses to abandon your romantic relationship, friendship, or family connection without even bothering to tell you their intentions ... you’ve been ghosted.

Ghosting is a relatively recent term for an old problem made much more prevalent in the age of social media. For most people today, a good portion of communication is conducted online or via smartphones.

And while the digital technologies of the past thirty years have made life easier in many ways, they have also enabled surface-level interactions that are void of direct human contact. A sense of connection can result, but the downside is that relationships can be easily abandoned without explanation.

Ghosting isn’t limited just to social media, however—it can happen in families, friendships, work settings, churches or faith groups, and numerous other settings.

Amid the hurt and betrayal you feel after being ghosted, it’s important to gain perspective on what happened and take practical steps toward healing.

Are you ready to renew your hope and confidence as you look forward to enjoying healthy relationships in the future? By the end of this book, you’ll be well on your way. Let’s get started.

Concerned Woman Looking at her phone

Chapter 1

What Ghosting Is and

Why It Matters

Ghost Encounter

I expected my sister to treat me better than this.

Shanice felt terrible for missing her nephew Jackson’s high school graduation. As someone who had struggled with learning disabilities and barely graduated high school, she knew that earning a diploma was a big deal. Because she understood how hard her nephew had worked, and because she had always been close to her sister, Jasmine, Shanice desperately wanted to attend and cheer like crazy for Jackson.

As the graduation date approached, so did a big conflict. Years before, Shanice had taken a starting position at a local grocery store, then worked hard to become the assistant manager. Now, with the store manager out on maternity leave, Shanice was in charge—of staffing problems, customer complaints, stock shortages, and all the rest.

I tried to get someone to cover my shift, she explained, but no one was available who had the experience. Like many businesses these days, we’d been understaffed for quite some time.

Sad to miss the event in person, Shanice sent a gift ahead of time, then called and texted Jackson throughout the weekend. Although Jackson was disappointed, he understood his aunt’s dilemma and didn’t hold it against her. Shanice’s absence did not go down well with Jasmine, however.

I knew she’d be upset, Shanice said, but I didn’t expect that she’d basically cut me off—for a year! I called her several times and sent her cards, but she refused to even respond. Ever. Thanksgiving came and went. Christmas came and went. My birthday came and went. Nothing.

Shanice had done her part to repair the rift. But it takes two willing people to make a relationship work. My sister tends to hold grudges, but this was the marathon of grudges, she said. I got ghosted by my own sister over an issue that was beyond my control. That’s just sad. I expected my sister to treat me better than this.

■ ■ ■

Even if you’re unfamiliar with the term ghosting, it’s likely you have also been a victim of ghosting at some point in your life, raising many questions and stirring strong feelings within you. It’s not fair that you’re silently left to pick up the pieces, wondering what happened and why. Ghosting hurts, and it casts a shadow of doubt and uncertainty upon your sense of self-worth.

Many people hear the word ghosted and think it pertains only to dating relationships—especially online dating, where it’s quick and easy to dismiss someone. And while the instances of ghosting have skyrocketed largely due to the prevalence of online dating sites and apps, the discussion here is much broader than romantic relationships.

As you’ll see in the next chapter, ghosting can happen within friendships, families, workplaces, churches, and social groups. Sometimes friends ghost friends, family members ghost family members, coworkers ghost coworkers—on and on it goes.

Definitions and Statistics

Here are two definitions of ghosting that provide context for the discussion in this book:

From Merriam-Webster.com: the act or practice of abruptly cutting off all contact with someone (such as a former romantic partner) usually without explanation by no longer accepting or responding to phone calls, instant messages, etc.¹

From Psychology Today: Ghosting is abruptly ending communication with someone without explanation. The concept most often refers to romantic relationships but can also describe disappearances from friendships and the workplace.²

You can see from these brief definitions that ghosting covers a wide range of situations. I can confirm that it does, because over the past months I talked with many people about