A Snake Within My Circle

By Asedgwick Knight

In the midst of the cold, wicked, and windy streets of Chicago, Deontay Miller and his right hand man, Chris, start out as petty hustlers in Cabrini Green housing projects one of the most notorious projects in America. (Home of TVs own: Good Times, Cooly High, and Candy man just to name a few). But once Doughboy, Chris cousin, turns them on to the drug game they apprehensively make the transition from stealing and selling bikes, to copping weight and distributing it in hand to hand transactions. Two years after being introduced to The game Deontay is now checking just as much bread as some of the older heads. But unfortunately for Deontay in the depts of the slums getting a little money often tends to make you a target, and Deontay is no exception. After refusing to be extorted by letting Black, the neighborhood bully Hold something a mere altercation escalades to Black making an attempt to Deontays life later on that night. But luckily Deontay escapes the hail of gun fire unscaved The next day in broad daylight, Deontay murders Black in cold blood. This bold barbaric act captured the respect of his peers, causing Deontays name to ring throughout the streets.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Sep 27, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499041538

Book preview

Prologue

Ever since I could remember I always wanted to be a gangster. You know that nigga that niggas feared and bitches loved… The go to guy. Coming up without a father figure I turned to the streets trying to fill the dark empty hole I possessed due to my father absence. Now please don’t get it confused, because my mother has got to be the best mother on earth, but a woman can’t teach a boy how to become a man. It hurts to say but I can only remember seeing my father, if that’s what you want to call him, three times in my life… Once on my fourth birthday, my dad came by briefly to drop off a gray BMW power wheel and was gone before I got the chance to cut the cake. Once when my uncle bumped into him at the store and let him know that I was at my auntie, Ressa, house right around the corner on sixty third and King Drive and brought him over to see me, yet again briefly. The last time I ever seen my father was right after my ninth birthday in 1993 and it changed my life forever!!!!!

Chapter One

Mom is my daddy still coming to get me today. I inquired while sprinting into the kitchen.

Boy how many times do I have to tell you to stop running into the kitchen while I’m cooking? And you know it’s rude to interrupt grownups while they’re on the phone? She spat while dropping a piece of chicken into a black frying pan.

But you’ve been on the phone all day.

Boy, I know you aint talking back to me. She said while giving me the look.

Sorry mom.

Your Auntie said hi.

Tell Ressa I said hey.

Girl he said hey. Boy go back into the room with your sister and I will call y’all once I’m done cooking.

Can I go in your room and put on a movie? I asked while standing on my tippy toes hoping I would be able to watch Class Act for the hundredth time.

Boy go head, but take your sister with you.

Thanks mom. I replied and rushed off.

Girl, I been getting so tired of going through this shit with Ant ass, you would think I laid down and made a baby by my damn self. He pops up every blue moon, making promises, and I have to see the disappointed look in Dee’s eyes when he never keeps them. I work fifty to sixty hours some weeks to put a roof over my kid’s heads, clothes on their back and food in their stomachs. All I ask of their dads is to put some time in, be a father and they can’t even do that!

Girl stop being so hard on yourself, and plus the day ain’t over with. He might still show up. My auntie said trying to comfort my mother, not really believing her words herself.

Girl it’s damn near seven P.M and he said he would be here right after Dee got out of school. He full of shit! But truth be told, I would have been more surprised if he would have showed up than him not. This is what he does.

Girl don’t feel bad you know I know the feeling.

(Beep) Girl let me call you back, somebody on my other line. My mom said while attempting to click over on the other line.

Girl just hit me back tomorrow I’m about to get these kids situated for school tomorrow and call it a night.

Alright girl, I’ll hit you back tomorrow. My mother said wasting no time clicking over. Hello

Hello, what’s up y’all ready? My dad inquired.

Ant you know you get on my fucking nerves with this shit.

Hold on, damn what you snapping at me for?

I’m snapping because your ass always decide to try to be a daddy once you aint got shit better to do, which is never, and then expect for somebody to jump once you say so and you got me fucked up! You may be God to all them goofy ass niggas in the street, and to all of them nappy headed hoes. But you ain’t shit but a dead beat daddy!

Well I guess I deserve that, but the life I live is scandalous and believe it or not I do this shit for my kids… . This money don’t stop for nobody and I’m not trying to make no career out of doing what I do. Like I told you before, once I get this real money I’m going to give you the world and treat you like you deserve to be treated. I’m going to be a father not a daddy. A father to my son and your daughter."

First of all, do you think that you could really buy your way back into my life after the way you lied, cheated and abused me after I gave you my all? I wrote your ass everyday for two years straight when you were locked up. Your own mother turned her back on you, but I was there and when you got out and started getting a little money you catered to all those hoes who forgot about you in your time of need. Second, how are you going to be there for my daughter and you don’t even do for your own? And third, I might not run the streets but my ears stay to them and I hear stories and I know your rich… Exactly how much do it take you to be a father anyway?

Rich who told you some shit like that? I got a little money but I aint where I want to be. I may be rich to these niggas, but I’m not trying to be rich. I’m trying to be wealthy and trust me there’s a big difference.

Why should I care less about the difference I’m not either one. I work ten to twenty hours of overtime a week and still end up robbing Peter to pay Paul at the end of the day… . Damn, shit son of a bitch!

Girl what the hell is wrong with you?

I damn near burned my chicken talking to your ass… .. Where are you anyway?

I’m in the house.

You still in the house and you have the nerve to be asking whether we’re ready or not?

Girl calm down, I sent my driver to come and pick y’all up over thirty minutes ago.

Driver, you mean Morris old crack head ass? And what house are you at anyway?

Damn girl, why you got to hate on Morris for? And I’m at the crib in Schaumburg.

Well let me feed these kids and get them ready.

Alright… . Hey, you know I still love you right?

Boy whatever, bye! and before he got a chance to respond he heard the dial tone.

Dee, Nickole go wash y’all hands and get ready to eat so we can get ready to go!

Chapter Two

I remember it like it was yesterday… As me, my mother and my little sister waited in the lobby for Morris to pull into the drive way. I just knew we were about to be riding in something slick because my uncle stayed in something clean with rims on it and sounds in it. And whenever I would ask them for some money they would tell me to ask my dad because he had all the money, so I figured whatever car he sent Morris to come pick us up in had to be lavish. But once Morris pulled up it was a totally different story. Even though the Maroon Ford Taurus station wagon he was in was remarkably clean, it was totally the opposite of what I was expecting. I remember saying to myself if my dad is so gangster and he had so much money why would he send this lame ass car to come and pick us up. Before getting in the car my mom said for the third time, Boy, once we get there don’t forget to ask him for some money.

Once we pulled up to the house it appeared to be a mini mansion or something. The air even smelled like money, it had a two car garage with two cars in it, two more cars and a minivan in the lavish half circle drive way, but none of the cars were exclusive or met my expectations like the house did. I guess my dad heard us pulling up because before we could even step foot out of the station wagon he was standing in the front door eating a boiled egg, smiling like he really missed me when I was just a phone call away. Once we got in the house it smelled like burnt plastic or something, and there was a light skinned man putting some white stuff into sandwich bags. My dad showed my mom and sister to the living room and apologized to my mother.

I’m sorry, these niggas should have done with this shit… Can I get y’all something to drink or something?

Once my mother declined he took me into the basement for a little quality time. Once we got down there the first thing I asked him was, Dad, if you got so much money why don’t you drive cars with sounds and rims on them?

And after a slight giggle and a five second pause he replied, You know you’re not my little man anymore and I’m pretty sure you know what I do. Once you live the life I live being flashy will either get you locked up or killed and I don’t see either in my future anytime soon. If the duck didn’t quack, he wouldn’t have ended up on the dinner table, do you understand me so far?

Yeah

Good… You see the streets are always watching and the less they see the less they know, and the more successful you will be. Are you still with me?

Yeah dad. I said bashfully.

Only niggas who don’t have real money try to show it off. Once you’re getting real money you don’t have to show it off because your character and aura reeks of someone who’s successful. Fuck a luxury car, it’s the worst investment ever because as soon as it leaves the lot the value decreases. Fuck some rims and sounds its unnecessary heat. Niggas go to jail and die every day over drugs and drug money. You can’t do this shit forever, if I was to spend my money on stupid shit everyday instead of saving it I would be force to live this life forever and end up in jail for a long time or dead. I invest my money into properties and shit like that, trying to turn a negative into a positive. Letting this dirty money make me twice as much as legit money, are you still following me?

Dad is those real?

Is what real?

All those guns!

Back then I remember seeing a lot of big guns, but knowing what I know now I can remember seeing an A-K, S-K, twin Uzi’s, twin baby Uzi’s, twin teck-9’s, twin desert eagles, twin Mac ten with silencers and twin big ass revolvers that had to be 44 magnums.

What, do you like guns? my dad inquired

Yeah the look cool, like the gangsters be having. I replied

Well they aint cool, guns aint no toys and having one don’t make you a gangster. Any motherfucker with a gun can take a life and a scared man will kill you quicker than any so called gangster will. All the guns in the world couldn’t transform a bitch ass nigga into a gangster, gangster are born gangster and guess what?

What?

You’re my son, your daddy is a gangster and you will be too. As a matter of fact scratch that you are a gangster, but I don’t want you to be like me I want you to be better… . Come with me.

Once we exited the basement the two men waited for my old man in the hallway. The freckled face man said, Man Ant, I know you told us to be done with this shit before Morris made it back with your baby momma and the little ones, but that shits even better then the shit we got from you the last time.

The heavy set man concurred by saying, Yeah man them two bricks we got from you last time was good. We got three and a half bricks back after we cooked it up. Even though we did get a couple of complaints, we still ran through that shit. I aint trying to have the money slow up and have you on my ass. So this time we only pushed for three bricks an when we let Morris test it and he said that the shit was still killing everything from the wild wild hundreds to every crack spot throughout the low end. We had to melt that shit back down, re-cooked it and got back four bricks and Morris said that this shit still de-so, better than the last shit anyway. Hey, but don’t trip next time we get up with you we’re going to have your money and we going to buy two bricks from you.

My dad shook his head before replying, Look, once I fronted y’all that shit it became y’all shit. I wouldn’t give no fuck if y’all smoked it, just have my money. And as far as y’all being done cooking that shit on time, I’m not tripping on that I know y’all couldn’t cook this shit up at mom’s crib… Dee, you aint say what’s up to your Uncle Keith fat ass and your cousin Terrence?

What’s up… .. I didn’t know that was my uncle and cousin. I said in a high pitch voice embarrassed.

What’s up little man. They both said in unison.

Don’t be embarrassed son, I should be the one embarrassed. Your nine years old and haven’t seen your uncle since you was a baby. Well we’re going to have to change that. Alright Keith, Terrence y’all gone head and handle that business, I’m about to fuck with my shorty.

Once they exited the door, my father and I went into the kitchen.

Do you want something to drink? he asked

Yeah. I replied while taking a seat at the oak wood table that seated six.

What do you want some orange juice, or a Pepsi?

Umm, a Pepsi… . Dad is my uncle and cousin scared of you?

No why do you say that?

Because they said if they slowed up your money you would get in their aa… . butt.

He let out a slight giggle and said, You can curse, but don’t tell your momma I let you… . I see you pay close attention.

My father then went to the refrigerator and got a Pepsi and a bottle of water out and went over to the cabinet and got two glasses out and took a seat next to me.

Since you seem so interested with the life style I live I’m going to explain a couple of things to you before somebody on the street mislead you. Your uncle and cousin are not scared of me, they respect me and it’s not wise or cool to have the streets scared of you. Because even though you should always watch your surroundings, and I mean always watch your surroundings. It’s impossible to watch every inch of the street twenty-four hours of the day. A scared man will shoot you in the back and if the streets are scared… they will kill you. Never let nobody, and I mean nobody disrespect you. You give respect to get it, but if a nigga or a bitch don’t respect their self, why should you? Reputation is everything, so think twice about what you do before doing it, and about what you say before saying it. The minute you fuck up your reputation, it’s fucked up forever. Do you understand me or am I moving too fast for you?

I understand.

Erase everything you heard your uncle and cousin just say because their dumb as hell. Your uncle is the one who put me in the game. I was just a little bit older then you. Keith fronted me a half of an ounce, that’s fourteen grams, and I aint never looked back since. As of now, if it wasn’t for me, that nigga wouldn’t even have a half of ounce to his name. As soon as he makes some money he spends it, and you will never come up like that. He don’t care because he knows I will put him back on.

What you mean by put him back on dad? I inquired, finding the whole conversation intriguing.

I mean that every time that he spends all of his money he comes back to me with his handout wanting more drugs to sale without the money to pay for it. Do you understand now?

Yeah.

When you’re dealing with almost anything in life it’s going to be better to have quality vs. quantity.

What do you mean dad?

Damn, you be acting so much like a little man I almost forgot that your just nine… . It means that sometimes it’s better to have less of something that’s good then to have a lot of bullshit… . For example, you seem to like cars right?

Yeah

So, what would you rather have one car with sounds in it and rims on it like the ones you see on TV, or would you rather have two ugly beat up cars that don’t start up half the time and some days you end up having to ride the bus because your two cars are not quality cars, they’re pieces of shit?

Dad I would take the one car that’s good, but I would take the sounds and rims off because you said being flashy will get you killed.

Damn you sharp… I see you do listen… . Okay that was a bad example. I thought you were thirsty? my father said before getting up and grabbing another glass out of the cabinet and another Pepsi from the refrigerator, and continued by saying, Open up that pop and pour it into one of those glasses, fill it up all the way to the top.

Okay I replied after doing what instructed.

Now open that other Pepsi and fill them other two glasses up half way.

Okay

Now take that bottle of water, open it and make those two half empty glasses full by adding the water in them.

Okay

Now taste them, because you can either have the one cup filled with pop or you can have the two cups mixed with water… . Which one do you want?

After tasting the two, without any hesitation I quickly replied, The one with nothing but pop in it.

And why is that? You get more in the two cups!

Because it’s nasty!

And that’s why your uncle is where he was over fifteen years ago, because he rather give people two cups of bullshit then give them one cup they actually will enjoy. Come with me.

When we exited the kitchen we made our way down a rather long hallway with twenty foot ceiling. At the end of the hallway we entered the last door on the left that was next to a window that was twice the size of me. Once inside the room my dad told me to take a seat on the queen size bed that sat alone in the room accompanied by a thirty gallon blue garbage can, and told me he would be right back. Within two or three minutes my dad returned to the room followed by my mother and my little sister.

As soon as my mother and sister took a seat next to me, my mother wasted no time inquiring, So what have you and your dad been talking about.

Nothing mom

So all this time y’all aint said nothing to each other.

Yeah… he been asking me about school and stuff.

Did you forget about what I told you before we left the house?

No… Um dad, can I have some money?

Come here Dee. My father instructed.

Once I got off of the bed and approached my father, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a baby 3-80.

My mom jaws hit the floor before she could say, Ant, what the hell are you doing!

What do it look like I’m doing, my son is going to know how to protect his self!

No the hell he aint, you aint about to have my baby playing with no gun, are you crazy? What if it goes off and he kills all of us?

First of all, aint nobody about to play with no gun, I’m about to show him how to use one, and second aint no bullets in here, its blanks. Here Dee hold this, it aint going to hurt you. Point it at the garbage and pull the trigger so I can give you your money.

As he placed the gun in my hand, I analyzed it, I adored it and instantly the aura of authority consumed my body. I felt ruthless… I admired every inch of it, from the pearl white handle to the barrel. Once I had it directly in my face looking to see if I could see bullet. I jumped caught off guard, once my father hollered.

Boy what is you doing, get that damn gun out of your face! Never ever point a gun at anyone unless you have the intentions on killing them. Do you understand me?

Yeah. I replied still a little shaken up.

Now put both of your hands around the gun and get a nice firm grip on it. Never shoot a gun sideways, that shit look cool, but whatever you’re aiming at your guaranteed to miss. Now get an aim on the garbage can and shoot.

PLOCKKA, PLOCKKA, PLOCKKA was all I heard as my young innocent fingers gently pulled away on the trigger. Gun smoke