365 Rules of the New World: If We Had a Chance to Do It All over Again, Would We Do It Right?

By Steven J. Bennett

This thought-provoking compilation delivers a message of awareness and transformation through the daily insights of an inspired non-conformist. As a partner to the 365 Rules website, it asks you to think critically about the world we live in.

Rule No. 130: Holding establishments accountable for drinking and drivingjust another example of the self indulgent, irresponsible masses trying to deflect blame and suck upon the teat of societys two-headed litigious whore mother greed and avarice!

Rule No. 355: Car alarmshow many times has your car alarm been set off accidentally? And how many times has your car been stolen? Exactly!

Rule No. 320: I hate copsI hate the cops translation I hate getting busted every time I break the law. If you hate police, chances are youre breaking the law too often.

Prepare yourself, because the gems of wisdom contained within its pages will awaken your desire to challenge the system.

In the new world, 365 Rules will be handed down through generations as a continual work in progress to help keep our world on a righteous path.

365 Rules of the New World is a hilarious glimpse into the mind of a man craving serious societal change. Seemingly off-the-wall and curmudgeonly, Bennett manages to perfectly balance humor and poignancy to deliver a powerful punch to the gut of the whacky world we live in.

Nicole Schill, author of 30yearoldknowitall.wordpress.com

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Jan 13, 2015
• ISBN: 9781504325868

Steven J. Bennett

Steven J. Bennett … best-selling author, hand model, master sommelier … just to name a few of the things Bennett would excel at if he had the time. For now, he’s satisfied with trying to create a better world for all mankind.

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Copyright © 2015 Steve Bennett.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Balboa Press

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-5043-2585-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-2587-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-2586-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014923004

Balboa Press rev. date: 01/05/2015

Contents

- Dedication -

- Foreword -

- Introduction -

Rule #365: Professional sports

Rule #364: Crime and punishment

Rule #363: All motorcycles will have mufflers

Rule #362: T.V. Movies

Rule #361: Gun control

Rule #360: Coffee shop drive throughs’

Rule #359: Legalizing marijuana

Rule #358: Barky dogs

Rule #357: Lotteries

Rule #356: Respecting our elders

Rule #355: Car alarms

Rule #354: Vacation

Rule #353: Space exploration

Rule #352: Health care

Rule #351: Roundabouts

Rule #350: Politicians

Rule #349: Snow blowers

Rule #348: Abortion

Rule #347: Aboriginal affairs

Rule #346: Flyers

Rule #345: Propaganda

Rule #344: Teachers

Rule #343: Droopy pants

Rule #342: Winter ice salt

Rule #341: Tipping

Rule #340: Rush hour traffic

Rule #339: Line ups

Rule #338: LGBT

Rule #337: Breastfeeding in public

Rule #336: Medicating children

Rule #335: Parking lot etiquette

Rule #334: Farting in public

Rule #333: Swearing

Rule #332: Sidewalk snow

Rule #331: Street parking

Rule #33o: Bikes on roads

Rule #329: Prostitution

Rule #328: Unofficial weather report

Rule #327: Homework

Rule #326: Drinking in public

Rule #325: Restaurant birthdays

Rule #324: Watching the best movie ever

Rule #323: Voting

Rule #322: Protesting big oil

Rule #321: Free music downloads

Rule #320: I hate cops

Rule #319: Excessive packaging

Rule #318: Hangovers

Rule #317: Telemarketers

Rule #316: Auto racing

Rule #315: Bilingualism

Rule #314: Gas station lines

Rule #313: Litigation

Rule #312: Elevator etiquette

Rule #311: Recycling

Rule #310: Revolving doors

Rule #309: Wedding rings

Rule #308: Outside smokers

Rule #307: Plastic surgery

Rule #306: Life sentence

Rule #305: It’s Friday

Rule #304: Turn signals

Rule #303: Global warming

Rule #302: Daylight saving time

Rule #301: Snow tires

Rule #300: World Population

Rule #299: Soccer

Rule #298: Air travel

Rule #297: Free parking

Rule #296: God hates fags!

Rule #295: Biodegradableness

Rule #294: Weights and measures

Rule #293: Drinking and driving

Rule #292: Divorce

Rule #291: Tailgating

Rule #290: Tanning beds

Rule #289: Honey garlic

Rule #288: Lunch etiquette

Rule #287: Bottled water

Rule #286: Taxes

Rule #285: Nutrition

Rule #284: Slow moving pedestrians

Rule #283: Bouncers

Rule #282: Religion

Rule #281: Sunshine list

Rule #280: Double dipping

Rule #279: Gay marriage

Rule #278: Rubber necking

Rule #277: Radio D.J.’s

Rule #276: Storefront parking

Rule #275: Bar phone etiquette

Rule #274: Butt chuckers

Rule #273: Cruise ships

Rule #272: The zoo

Rule #271: Can I be honest?

Rule #270: Child custody

Rule #269: Hockey fights

Rule #268: Over consumption

Rule #267: The idiot law

Rule #266: The global anthem

Rule #265: Immigration

Rule #264: Texting and driving

Rule #263: Just a thin slice

Rule #262: Dog poop

Rule #261: Bullied suicide

Rule #260: Kids on vacation

Rule #259: It’s never too late

Rule #258: The change purse

Rule #257: Happy meals

Rule #256: Pet abuse

Rule #255: Deadbeats

Rule #254: Teen pregnancy

Rule #253: Walkway etiquette

Rule #252: Baseball

Rule #251: Dog kids

Rule #250: Racial profiling

Rule #249: Driver training

Rule #248: Wrong people who think they’re right

Rule #247: The beer store monopoly

Rule #246: Peripheral vision

Rule #245: When hockey players speak

Rule #244: The weatherman

Rule #243: Whining and dining

Rule #242: Everybody hates Hitler

Rule #241: Summer vacation

Rule #240: Mothers day

Rule #239: You can’t have your cake and eat it too

Rule #238: Dr. Assisted suicide

Rule #237: Pinball drivers

Rule #236: Shopping cart etiquette

Rule #235: Football players suing the NFL for injuries

Rule #234: Garbage collection

Rule #233: Sun days

Rule #232: Campground security

Rule #231: Orange juice with pulp

Rule #230: Judges

Rule #229: Political controversy

Rule #228: Drinking and cycling

Rule #227: Victoria and First Peoples day

Rule #226: The gym

Rule #225: Left turn lollygaggers

Rule #224: School gardens

Rule #223: Line budders

Rule #222: Cancer research is a hoax

Rule #221: First impressions

Rule #220: Shampoo instructions

Rule #219: Business automated answering machines

Rule #218: Incarceration

Rule #217: Funeral processions

Rule #216: Used car tax

Rule #215: Loud commercials

Rule #214: Corporate welfare

Rule #213: Vegas casinos

Rule #212: Young cops

Rule #211: Reggae music

Rule #210: Trophy hunting

Rule #209: Driving slow in the fast lane

Rule #208: The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!

Rule #207: Everyone loves marineland?

Rule #206: Bar shots

Rule #205: Fathers day

Rule #204: Try this!

Rule #203: Post execution autopsies

Rule #202: Beauty pageants

Rule #201: Say hi for me

Rule #200: National Aboriginal day

Rule #199: Fundraising for minor sports

Rule #198: Movie critics

Rule #197: Property tax

Rule #196: Fine print

Rule #195: Wine snobs

Rule #194: Grade retention

Rule #193: Law enforcement cameras

Rule #192: Poverty

Rule #191: Evolution vs. Creationism

Rule #190: Pre-teen parenting

Rule #189: Serving nachos

Rule #188: Drunk arguments

Rule #187: Cyanide fishing

Rule #186: Proper snacking

Rule #185: Counseling

Rule #184: Serving alcohol in movie theaters

Rule #183: Public affection

Rule #182: Puppy tossing

Rule #181: Ground zero mosque

Rule #180: Performance enhancing drugs

Rule #179: Drive in theaters

Rule #178: Violent video games

Rule #177: New relationships

Rule #176: Running of the bulls

Rule #175: Hippycrites

Rule #174: Hand washing 101

Rule #173: Sandwich bags

Rule #172: Sweatshops

Rule #171: Seedless watermelons

Rule #170: Greeting cards

Rule #169: Investing

Rule #168: Teen parenting

Rule #167: Things people say (that drive the rest of us nuts)

Rule #166: Advertising

Rule #165: Clothes with logos

Rule #164: Doctors’ handwriting

Rule #163: News reporting

Rule #162: Radio contests

Rule #161: Posing for pictures

Rule #160: Contradiction

Rule #159: Cheese slices

Rule #158: Child beauty pageants

Rule #157: Being late

Rule #156: Are you sure?

Rule #155: Theft under

Rule #154: Regulating the internet

Rule #153: There’ll

Rule #152: Cops on patrol

Rule #151: Hot chicks

Rule #150: The royal family

Rule #149: Working

Rule #148: All you can eat buffet

Rule #147: Rewards cards

Rule #146: Cordless phones

Rule #145: Cell charges

Rule #144: Celebrity news

Rule #143: Fancy coffee shops

Rule #142: Toilet terrorists

Rule #141: Well days

Rule #140: Speedometers

Rule #139: Concert beer prices

Rule #138: Disposable chopsticks

Rule #137: Long story short

Rule #136: Car bumpers

Rule #135: Korean dicktator Kim Jong-Un

Rule #134: Gym grunters

Rule #133: Squealing tires on country roads

Rule #132: T.V. Poker

Rule #131: Movie theatre etiquette

Rule #130: Holding establishments accountable for drinking and driving

Rule #129: Extended warranties

Rule #128: Arming cops with tasers

Rule #127: Labour day / Labor day

Rule #126: Bispellingism

Rule #125: Olympic race walking

Rule #124: Baby strollers

Rule #123: Olympic Badminton

Rule #122: Heated driveways

Rule #121: Commercial space travel

Rule #120: Mosquitoes

Rule #119: Suicide bombers

Rule #118: Product disposal

Rule #117: Spit washing

Rule #116: Birthdays

Rule #115: Dine and dash

Rule #114: Bubble baths

Rule #113: Jealousy

Rule #112: Public hot tubs

Rule #111: Protesting Wal-Mart or any big box stores

Rule #110: Reverse parkers

Rule #109: You say TomAto, I say TomAHto

Rule #108: Vehicle washing

Rule #107: Tent storage bags that are too small

Rule #106: Keeping appointments

Rule #105: Cyclical consumption

Rule #104: Goldfish bowls

Rule #103: Airport bombs

Rule #102: Music programs for prisoners

Rule #101: Award ceremonies

Rule #100: Rules were made to be broken

Rule #99: Receptionists

Rule #98: Flat head screws

Rule #97: Changing the Canadian national anthem

Rule #96: Hazing

Rule #95: Composting

Rule #94: Short faucets

Rule #93: Fragrance etiquette

Rule #92: Dripping gas pumps

Rule #91: Schooling

Rule #90: Installing tracking chips in pets

Rule #89: The ninja bomb

Rule #88: Multivitamins

Rule #87: Bar lighting

Rule #86: Escalators

Rule #85: Organic farming

Rule #84: Crunchy peanut butter

Rule #83: Cable television

Rule #82: Mining Canada’s tar sands

Rule #81: Ridiculously unbelievable movies

Rule #80: Dooring

Rule #79: Football vs. Church

Rule #78: Kitchener Waterloo Oktoberfest

Rule #77: Searching for space aliens

Rule #76: ODD

Rule #75: Designated drivers

Rule #74: Wedding vows

Rule #73: Freezing bananas for banana bread

Rule #72: It’s a dog’s life

Rule #71: Made in China

Rule #70: Lights on bicycles

Rule #69: Olympic dressage

Rule #68: Halloween costumes

Rule #67: Halloween candy

Rule #66: Nuclear energy

Rule #65: Cod moratorium

Rule #64: Double cupping

Rule #63: Drafting pro sports teams

Rule #62: Inflation

Rule #61: Addiction

Rule #60: Toronto mayor ROB FORD

Rule #59: Wine Jockeys

Rule #58: Horrible bosses

Rule #57: War veterans

Rule #56: Remembrance day poppies

Rule #55: Organ donors

Rule #54: Useless studies

Rule #53: Art

Rule #52: Adoption

Rule #51: Child porn

Rule #50: Prison guards

Rule #49: Cup and mug design

Rule #48: Lethal injection drugs

Rule #47: Vertical housing

Rule #46: Super trawlers

Rule #45: Puppy mills

Rule #44: Bad relationships

Rule #43: Medication disposal

Rule #42: The fist bump

Rule #41: Canadian seal hunt

Rule #40: Making new friends as an adult

Rule #39: Car lock horns

Rule #38: Black Friday

Rule #37: Including tax in price tags

Rule #36: Hockey Players suing the NHL for concussions

Rule #35: Bicycle helmet laws

Rule #34: Pregnancy

Rule #33: Rednecks

Rule #32: Corporate vermin

Rule #31: Ass vermin

Rule #30: Harvesting ivory tusks

Rule #29: Movie trailers

Rule #28: Customers who get mad at the person behind the counter

Rule #27: The annoying laugher

Rule #26: Bowling balls

Rule #25: Mail delivery

Rule #24: Airline seat selection

Rule #23: Cleavage

Rule #22: Dealing with dementia

Rule #21: Coal mining

Rule #20: Affluenza

Rule #19: Factory farming

Rule #18: Getting stuck on the ski lift

Rule #17: Multi-use helmets

Rule #16: Chivalry is not dead (but it doesn’t belong at rock concerts)

Rule #15: Pharmaceutical incentives

Rule #14: Impulse buying

Rule #13: Christmas

Rule #12: Boxing day

Rule #11: Credit and borrowing

Rule #10: Wimpy Kids

Rule #9: Playing matchmaker

Rule #8: Sesame seeds

Rule #7: Flashlights

Rule #6: New Years resolutions

Rule #5: Child abuse

Rule #4: Comedy and humor

Rule #3: World governance

Rule #2: Keeping an open mind

Rule #1: Birth control

- Acknowledgments -

- Dedication -

For my fantastic children

For my kickass friends

And of course

For my smokin’ hot trophy girlfriend…

Without you, this project never would

have seen completion.

Thank you Julie!

- Foreword -

It could be argued that the onset of the Internet age created more crappy writers than break-ups, remedial English and alcohol combined. But even the Sahara desert has water – sometimes you just need to know where to look. Steven J Bennett’s 365 Rules of the New World is one of those rare exceptions. Witty and accessible, it is one man’s take on a big question we all should be actively engaged in everyday: How can the world be made more enjoyable for us all? Whether you share his take on what a better world would be or not, one thing is certain: 365 Rules of the new world is a refreshing glass of water in the middle of a hot, dry desert.

- BY JOHNNY SIMON

This thought provoking compilation delivers a message of awareness and transformation through the humorous daily insights of an inspired non-conformist. 365 Rules asks you to think critically about the world we live in. As a partner to the 365 Rules website, the rules set forth will allow you to see that all is not lost – there are like-minded people out in the world chomping at the bit for change.

An easy to read collection of thoughts that addresses common everyday issues like left turn lollygaggers, shampoo instructions and garbage collection, while also tackling delicate social issues such as abortion, doctor-assisted suicide and religion. Prepare yourself, as the gems of wisdom contained within its pages will awaken your desire to challenge the system. The power to effect real change is within all of us - but the clock is ticking. If we’re to create a better world before it’s too late, we must begin NOW!

- BY NICKI SCHILL

- Introduction -

Have you ever wondered what’s wrong with today’s society?

Have ever you wondered what can be done about it?

On January 5, 2013 I asked myself those very questions and the answers became instantly clear to me…

I don’t know

&

Write about it.

So on January 6, 2013 - as a mighty warrior picks up his battle sword, I too picked up my battle pen. And striking up a knightly pose, I declared my 365 day war against the greedy, the selfish and all things unrighteous.

And so was born - 365 rules.com

A quest to create 365 rules in 365 days.

Now… Let us begin our march to victory.

Follow me if I advance - Kill me if I retreat - Avenge me if I die!

And don’t forget to pick me up if I fall down drunk.

Rule #365: Professional sports

There was once a time when unions were necessary. That time has passed. We see it in business and especially in professional sport. Hockey players getting paid millions to do what they love. THEN they complain and cry that they need more. In the new world we would keep professional sports players in check by capping salary at 1 million a year. Most of them aren’t responsible enough to handle that much cash anyway. (Remember Ovechkin’s bar tab from a few years ago? *see 365rules.com). And if they think this is unfair, they are free to leave and get a real job. I’m sure they would love getting up at 5am every morning to work for someone who isn’t going to get up and cheer every time they do something good, like the rest of us. I wonder if they realize who they are demanding money from every time they complain?

In the new world, salaries for professional sports players will be capped at $1,000,000.00

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

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Rule #364: Crime and punishment

Ever heard of a guy named Charles Manson? or Timothy Mcveigh? Of course you have. Why? Because we turn these sick, attention seeking losers into folk heroes. We rarely hear about the people who do good things on a regular basis. But if you shoot up a school full of innocent children or blow up a building full of hard working people, your in the history books. And somewhere out there is some other sick, loser thinking wow, cool, I could do that. Look at James Holmes. He shot up a movie theater last summer and now we’re wasting millions on trials and keeping him locked up. And can anyone name a single victim? Of course not, we’re too busy focusing on the guy who was such a nice boy and always seemed friendly. All media coverage should revolve around the victims. These flags fly at half mast for all the victims of violent crime who’s lost lives have been overshadowed by the people who took their lives.

In the new world, anyone who is obviously guilty of a major high profile crime will have their head removed for testing and the body will be disposed of without mention of the name of the person. All media coverage will respectfully revolve around the victims.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

Rule #363: All motorcycles will have mufflers

Everyone loves the sound of a loud motorcycle. But not always. Having a loud bike might be cool for you and your friends, but how cool is it to your neighbors at 6am when your going to work. Or at midnight when your riding home through quiet neighborhoods and disturbing everyone who has to get up for work in the morning? I like the sound of heavy metal cranked on my stereo. But that doesn’t mean I want to hear it when it’s time to sleep or converse with people in my backyard. And I don’t have the right to impose it on people who don’t want to hear it. Same goes for bikes. Have you ever had your car windows open in summer, enjoying your music just to have a bike pull up beside you and drown out your music or your conversation? What gives them the right? And I’ve heard the bikers B.S. that the noise makes it safer. Whatever! If you want to get noticed to be safe, paint your bike high visibility orange and get a flashing light on your helmet!

In the new world, all cars and motorcycles will have noise deadening mufflers to keep the noise down.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

Rule #362: T.V. Movies

If you’re going to air a movie on T.V., play it in its original form. Don’t censor it. That’s fucking annoying! If a movie is not appropriate for a certain time or channel, don’t put it on. This will not be permitted in the new world.

In the new world, all movies aired on T.V. will be shown in their original form.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

Rule #361: Gun control

This is easy. If it’s sole purpose is to kill another human, it shouldn’t exist. I know the NRA would have you believe that the best defense against a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun, but a better solution is no one with a gun. I think there is some truth to the saying guns don’t kill people, people kill people. But until we can fix everyone and rid the world of bad people, we shouldn’t be supplying them with the means to kill with automatic assault rifles.

In the new world, there will be no guns.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

Rule #360: Coffee shop drive throughs’

If your going through the drive through, stick to coffee. The drive through is designed to speed things up, so people behind you are probably in a hurry (or lazy).

So, If your ordering an everything bagel, toasted with strawberry cream cheese and a large green tea with 1 milk and 2 sugar - bag in, and 2 coffees 1 large, milk no sugar and the other medium, with just cream and a 40 pack of timbits…. (gasp)…. GO INSIDE!

Not to mention what your doing to the environment making everyone idle for that long!

In the new world, the coffee shop drive through will be for beverages only.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

Rule #359: Legalizing marijuana

I’m actually torn about this one. I don’t think pot should be illegal because it’s pot. The detrimental affects of alcohol on society are far worse than smoking weed. I think it should be illegal for the same reasons smoking should be illegal. It’s dirty and pollutes the air and land. I can’t believe the amount of non-biodegradable butts that are left around every smoking area and tossed thoughtlessly out a car window by some ignorant son of a bitch. Not to mention the burden on the health system. On the other hand, at least weed has a purpose. Smoking doesn’t even get you high. And if you toss a roach, it is biodegradable.

Given the nature of all this new information, I just convinced myself:

In the new world, marijuana will be legal and cigarettes will be illegal. Let’s try that for a while.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

Rule #358: Barky dogs

People often state that they love or hate dogs. I think that’s too broad a statement to make. Dogs have so many personalities and characteristics. It would be like stating you love or hate all people. But unfortunately, some people aren’t cool. Same with dogs. Personally, I like stupid happy dogs that don’t make a lot of noise.

Dog owners love their dogs. That’s a given. It’s like a child to them. However, no one should have to listen to their neighbors dog. If you live in the city, it should be your responsibility to keep your dog from disturbing other people. Once again it just comes down to common courtesy.

In the new world, annoying, yappy dogs will not be permitted within city limits.

And definitely - NO pit bulls.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

Rule #357: Lotteries

It’s very common these days to see lottery jackpots in excess of $50,000,000.00. This is crazy. Nobody needs that much. Nobody should HAVE that much. And most people don’t know how to handle it responsibly. It just makes more sense to share the wealth. A $50 million jackpot should be split between 50 winners. What’s better for the economy, 1 person spending and wasting money recklessly or 50 people starting businesses and thinking about spending wisely?

In the new world, lotteries will max out at about 2 million.

Let’s make more people happy.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

Rule #356: Respecting our elders

There’s no denying it. We’re all going to be there. And if you believe in what comes around, goes around. You may want to start showing a little respect. Everyone knows how frustrating it is when your driving and someone in front of you is driving too slow or making some suspect moves. But the next time this happens to you, why not take a second to get a look at who your dealing with. If it’s some 80 year old man who is trying to negotiate the road and focused like he’s trying to defuse a bomb, maybe lay off the horn and cut him a little slack. It could be his first time in town and everything is as foreign to him as you trying to drive on Jupiter. Like I said, we’re all going to be there some day and as I get closer, I find it easier to empathize.

On the other hand, if it’s a young girl sitting at a green light that she didn’t see change because she’s sending a tweet…. Let her have it!

In the new world, we will all have respect and patience for each other. Young and old. It will be second nature. And car horns will be for Newfie weddings only.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

Rule #355: Car alarms

How many times has your car alarm been set off accidentally?

And how many times has your car been stolen?

Exactly!

These things need an off button.

I hate it when I’m trying to get in my car quietly at 5:00am to go to work, and between fumbling with my keys and handling my lunch with gloves on, I accidentally activate the alarm to notify everyone in the hood that I’m off to work.

And when you hear a car alarm go off in the middle of the night, do you get up thinking Oh my god, someone’s trying to steal a car!? No. You roll over, pull a pillow over your head and think I wish that jerk would go out and shut that thing off so I can get back to that dream where I’m a back up dancer for Justin Bieber, and in the middle of Boyfriend you pull out a guitar, kick J.B. off the stage and lay into the most awesome version of Eruption ever heard. It’s so good, even JB gets up and gives you props. And the next day Jack Black calls you up and wants you to join his band and…..! Oh yeah, car alarms….

In the new world, all new cars will be equipped with an easy on / off switch for car alarms.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

Rule #354: Vacation

We work too much. Plain and simple. Unless you do something you really enjoy, why would anyone want to spend more time working than having fun? I know, for the money. But I think it’s time we challenge that!

In the new world, everyone can decide for themselves, but as a baseline, I submit that a standard work week would be Monday to Thursday with 3 day weekends and a standard work day would be 6 hours. 24 hours a week is plenty. Just think of what that would do to the unemployment rate. We’d have a lot more people working, just a lot less. And think of all the things you could find out that you really are good at!

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

Rule #353: Space exploration

I used to love this topic. I loved watching space launches as a kid and into my adulthood. But as I look at what it’s achieved, I can’t help but think what a better world we would have if all those resources and money had been put into something more worthwhile. And think of the environmental effects. All the fuel that gets burned each time we launch. And all the space junk floating around up there. Now, not only have we polluted our planet, we’ve polluted the outer atmosphere as well.

Currently, there are approximately 20,000 pieces of junk (bigger than 1cm) orbiting the earth. With another 300,000 less than 1cm. We’re going to have to install recycle centres and garbage collection space stations and send space criminals with high visibility space suits to clean it all up. If we had directed all that money and effort into real problems here on earth, we’d be living in a clean environment using non polluting transport and clean energy. Of course, we know that space exploration is essential to war efforts. And Google earth is pretty cool. But couldn’t we live without satellite TV. in exchange for a better world?

In the new world, until we solve our problems here on earth, which is possible if we start now by following this easy to follow 365 Rules for the new world, we will have to study space from afar using high powered telescopes.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

Rule #352: Health care

I think we can all agree that here in Canada we have one of the best health care systems in the world. If there is one flaw that I see it’s that it’s actually TOO good. Between government run health care and group insurance plans, health care is practically free. However, when I say that it’s too good, I mean that too many people abuse it. An example of this is neurotic parents who rush their children to the doctor every time they sneeze or cough. We spend a lot of time at the doctor or emergency room without just cause. This puts a financial burden on the system as well as occupying resources for people who actually need it.

In the new world, there will be a nominal fee ($10 - $30) payable by the patient for each visit to a medical professional. This would make people give a second thought before rushing a child to the doctor for a stubbed toe.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

Rule #351: Roundabouts

I like roundabouts. I think they work to keep traffic moving. Stats show that there are less fatal accidents at roundabouts than traditional intersections. There are, however more fender benders. The one thing I don’t understand is why there is more than 1 lane in a roundabout. I don’t think anyone is in a roundabout long enough to make a lane change. It seems to create a dangerous situation. Either I don’t understand how these things work, or there should be only one lane.

In the new world, there will be only one lane in roundabouts. Or someone will have to show people like me why there are more than one.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

Rule #350: Politicians

Don’t you love watching the news when they show debates by our mature, elected leaders?

If my child ever yelled over someone else when they were making a point at school, I’d expect a call from the teacher.

It’s embarrassing watching our elected officials who we pay to represent us, acting like spoiled brats. Being passionate is one thing, but the way we see our politicians conducting themselves is ridiculous.

The next time one of these people act out during a discussion in the house of commons, we should call their mommy and give them an unpaid time out for a month.

In the new world, immature behavior by our elected representatives will not be tolerated.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

Rule #349: Snow blowers

If you live in a climate similar to Southern Ontario, you DO NOT need a snow blower! Why?…

I’m glad you asked…

1. Exercise:

Assuming you don’t have any health issues and you take it easy, shoveling snow can be good exercise.

2. Kids:

If you have kids, they need to get out there. What better way to get them off the couch and away from the video games. And often it will lead to something fun like a snowball fight or building a snowman or snow fort. My kids have even started shoveling other driveways for money with their friends. If your kids are older than 4, get them out there. And if they try to charge you, just let them know your taking it off what they owe you for food, board, clothes etc……

3. Mr. Plow:

Need the driveway done but can’t? Call a plow. Can’t afford it? Let’s break it down. I think you can get a dude with a pick up and a shovel to do your driveway for about $25.00. And let’s also say you can get a new snow blower for about $1,000.00. 1,000 / 25 = 40. So for the price of a snow blower you could get 40 plows. If you only get your driveway plowed 5 times a year and get the kids to do it the rest, you could get 8 years of plowing for the price of that nice shiny snow blower that is stored in your garage doing nothing 359 days a year.

4. Maintenance:

Snowblower = Maintenance.

No snow blower = No Maintenance. ’Nuff said.

5. Environment:

According to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), the average snow blower creates about one pound of carbon monoxide emissions per hour. To put this figure into perspective, it takes a car driving approximately 70 miles to make the same amount of emissions. Overall, small machines, including snow blowers, create 25% of mobile sources hydrocarbon emissions. During mild winters I’ve heard people say that they take their snow blower out and clear 1" of snow just to get some use out of it! If your that bored, come over to my place. I’ve got lots to do.

6. Your neighbor:

Everyone’s got a neighbor with a snow blower that is good

for at least one blow a season.

7. Storage:

Look in your garage. See that area in your garage dedicated to that big dumb machine all summer? Taking up all that room where you could