Breaking the Chains of Familial Bondage

By Tony Duncan

This book is a true story about how lies can destroy a person's life as well as show just how self-righteous some family members can be when they only think of themselves. The following pages describe in some detail how a father very close to becoming a grandfather and at the best point ever in his 56 years of living could only watch while his life was destroyed.


During the first three weeks there was a lot of confusion and emotional shock involved causing extreme anger, then suddenly I could almost feel the extreme anger and shock just leave my body as I began to step back and realize what was honestly happening.


At various times when efforts were made to have discussions trying to resolve the issues that were tearing this family apart, these efforts would only find more desperation to continue the lies covering up the truth. Having been through a terrible divorce myself with young children involved I am aware of what a marriage can be like when one party spends so much energy to lie and cover up things they do not want the other half to know about.


Now I will be forced to again leave behind everything I love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: May 6, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499013504

Tony Duncan

Tony Duncan was born in 1935. After school, National Service and university, he worked on various farms in England and New Zealand. Then in 1961, he bought a farm on Dartmoor. Tony married in 1963. Together, they have two sons. After a spell as a teacher from 1976 to 1985, he and his wife ran a market garden beside the River Dart. They retired to Totnes in 2000.

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Copyright © 2014 by Tony Duncan.

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Rev. date: 04/29/2014

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This book is a true story about how lies can destroy a person’s life as well as show just how self-righteous some family members can be when they only think of themselves. The following pages describe in some detail how a father very close to becoming a grandfather and at the best point ever in his 56 years of living could only watch while his life was destroyed.

During the first three weeks there was a lot of confusion and emotional shock involved causing extreme anger, then suddenly I could almost feel the extreme anger and shock just leave my body as I began to step back and realize what was honestly happening.

At various times when efforts were made to have discussions trying to resolve the issues that were tearing this family apart, these efforts would only find more desperation to continue the lies covering up the truth. Having been through a terrible divorce myself with young children involved I am aware of what a marriage can be like when one party spends so much energy to lie and cover up things they do not want the other half to know about.

Now I will be forced to again leave behind everything I love.

Prior to reading the following pages describing in some detail how things progressed or regressed in the last 17 months I need to clarify my reactions & actions.

During the first 3 weeks I was very confused & not in a good place (I was losing everybody & everything that was important to me). I had never been quite so depressed & as I would try to find out how to resolve this confusion I am constantly rejected.

Most times I would be the one to initiate any meeting to resolve this mess, I would get little or no cooperation. This was upsetting & I would then say things that were wrong & I do regret this fault I have. I have seen Fred for counseling and have learned much. I am much more patient now.

I have admitted to making these mistakes and have apologized to the people that will let me speak to them & feel that I have accepted responsibility for my actions. Yes I do believe others also still need to accept that they also have made mistakes & need to understand the cost.

I have paid dearly, I have lost my entire life essentially & desperately need to move on & be allowed now to start over somehow. I am not sure yet exactly how this will happen as I now broke & my truck has no transmission or brakes left.

I need to state that everything I am writing is true & what I have seen or heard.

From the very beginning there have been too many people involved & I am partly to blame for that. I never should have shared anything with sister Doris for one thing. I have always known about her having a controlling personality, I just never expected her to lie so much & make up so many bad thoughts about me

I remember growing up & the times at the bowling alley that my family owned. Believing my entire life that police could always be trusted & respected, Sgt Abby has clearly changed those feelings. She lied directly to my face on more than one occasion & she also created many false statements on her reports.

My attorney Perry has earned no respect & has given valid reason to question how he can justify the amount he charges for providing no defense.

This is my first exposure with the legal/justice system & I am very disappointed. At no point during this process was I ever shown respect or even believed innocent until proven guilty. I was clearly presumed guilty by Sgt Abby from day 1.

Also, it must be stated that I in the past had a problem with cocaine. I am an addict & went through a rehab in house program in Texas for 3 wks. Then after being released completed the 6 mo. outpatient program they recommended. I did get back on & off cocaine for sometime after this & finally beat it being clean for 4½ to 5 years when my granddaughter was born.

I will also mention that drugs & alcohol were not involved on my behalf at all. I am disgusted that after everything it took to get clean and for my family to use that against me in this situation was uncalled for and disrespectful.

Through the years I must say that I have experienced a very wide range of things, some very fun and exciting things and some extremely difficult things which have clearly resulted in a wealth of life’s experiences. This being said, I will briefly describe a few areas that will forever provide me with a reason why I think and act as I do good and bad.

Some of the lows have ranged from witnessing my mom being chased around the house after my dad would come home drunk and being forced to watch things he would do once the chasing ended to watching my dad beat the hell out of one of my sisters and also hearing dad tell me over and over that I would never be smart enough to go to college but letting everyone know that my sister Doris was smarter than the rest of us. My place in life would be to one day run the family business only to have the family business sold out from under me after being promised that I would be given a chance to buy a part ownership. Of course once it sold I found my portion would only be unemployment.

When I was married it was just like being with my father once again and I was just put down and lied too even more, though once we had kids one would think it might bring two people closer together. That was not the case at all; in fact it seemed to put a larger gap between us though I had no idea why but would later find the truth. One day after being gone for a few hours and getting back home I was accused of having an affair and told to leave and informed that I was to stay away for a year, giving her time to decide if she wanted me or someone else. I was devastated and confused not understanding what was really going on. Come to find out it was not me that was having an affair but it was her, the truth kind of came out once she began showing that she was pregnant.

Being without my kids was the worse feeling ever, I missed them all the time and when I would take them home after a weekend of being with them I could only drive a block down the street to park