Lovesick Lady

By Rachel Strysik

Dating sucks, especially if you’re the new girl in a city full of Hollywood hopefuls or just a good old-fashioned romantic. When all of her friends were getting married and having kids, Rachel was downloading dating apps in hopes of finding her prince charming. Trying to play hard to get while not letting them actually get away, she struggled to find the balance of keeping her own wants, needs, and identity in the process. Take a deep dive into the throngs of her experiences from “one date wonders” to full-on relationships. From second dates that never should have happened to mistakes that were made over and over again, you’ll traverse the ups and downs of trying to navigate rocky terrain that seems never-ending.
But the burning question to be asked is, does Rachel still believe in love and the prospect of her own happy ending?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rachel Strysik
• Release date: Nov 1, 2021
• ISBN: 9781005898335

Rachel Strysik

Rachel was born in Orange County, did most of her growing up in small-town Illinois, and ended up back in the Golden State, settling in the City of Angels at eighteen. She received a degree in Musical Theatre and chased the dream of being an actor until she succumbed to her love affair with writing. She now primarily writes copy for a living but makes space for her own projects on the side.When she isn't in front of her laptop pounding away, she is most likely to be found hiking in her local mountains, spending too much time and money in a grocery store, or trying to chase down the perfect saison. Her favorite trails are those less traveled. The grocery stores she frequents most are Aldi and Trader Joe's. Tank 7 by Boulevard Brewing is her number one choice for a saison.

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Lovesick Lady

Copyright © 2021 Rachel Strysik

All rights reserved.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Note to Reader

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Prologue

Part 1: The Relationships

Ethan – The First Kiss

Carter – The Mind Game King

Ken – The Life Ruiner

Aaron – The One I Pushed Away

Jon – The Dating App Boy

Gerald – The Best Friend And Lover

Part 2: The Flings

David – The Rebounder

Colin – The Costar

Guillermo – The Bait and Switch

Jeremy – The Nomad

James – The Older Man

Part 3: The One Date Wonders

Joe – The Word Master

Kyle – The Man With No Tact

Cal – The Service Man

Alex – The Coworker That's Off Limits

Craig – The Sex Addict

Some More In-Depth Thoughts on Dating in Christian Culture

The Good Ones: The Importance of Having Trustworthy Male Friends

The Good Ones II: The Importance of Having Trustworthy Female Friends

Epilogue

About the Author

This book is dedicated to anyone who’s ever been heartbroken. Anyone who’s ever loved and lost and decided to keep going. May you always keep your hope and find your life partner.

Everything you are about to read is true*, but names and significant identifying features have been changed or redacted to help protect the privacy of persons involved.

The contents of this book are in no way intended to harm or defame any persons’ reputation. I also want to disclaim that my frequent writings stopped shortly after graduating college and so events post that era have been recalled from memories that are most likely imperfect.

*Many events have been pulled from my own personal writings as a young girl and I was, admittedly, a tad dramatic in those days and have done my best in trying to keep personal bias out of it. Certain events and emotions are relevant and necessary to the story and so were left in.

Disclaimer: This is in no way intended to be a self-help or advice book. I simply invite you to relive this journey with me, and my hope is that you are able to learn something from my past you may find helpful for your future.

There are several people I need to thank, without whom this book would have never come to be.

First and foremost, I must thank Matthew Koppin, who has encouraged and helped me on all fronts, from reading my very first draft to helping me create a book cover that wasn’t complete garbage and being great at giving constructive feedback. I would have given up long ago if it wasn’t for you and your gracious answers to all of my questions at all hours of the day.

I also need to thank Tommy Phillips for encouraging me to expand my first draft into a book and telling me that I had it in me to do so. As a self-published author, you were certainly an inspiration for me.

I’d like to extend my thanks to Bethany Perez for always being there to talk boy problems and for reading my first draft and encouraging me to continue.

A big thank you to Dan Fishbach, who gave me tangible feedback to make my story stronger. It wouldn’t be what it is without you; I appreciate it more than you know.

Lastly, I’d like to thank Christopher Grose for being my exception and my supporter. You’re the best man I could have asked for. I only wish you would have come into my life sooner. You always encourage me to keep going and tell me I can do anything. I love you to the moon and back.

I’m not sure when it started, but it must have been when I was quite young: the need for men’s attention. It’s always been something I’ve craved, but not necessarily something I’ve always received. Most of the time, as a young girl, I was the messenger instead of the object of affection. I’ve lost count of how many men have come to me on behalf of the girl that was, at the time, my best friend.

When I got older, it made me doubt men’s actual interest in me. It seemed strange that someone would actually want to get to know me and not my best friend, who was no doubt glowing around a group of other people hanging on her every word.

And yet, once it was clear they were after me, my whole outlook changed. I can’t explain what happens when you suddenly become the one desired, but it is a welcome change. It makes you feel alive. In control. Dominant.

Knowing you have this control can become like a drug. An addictive feeling you constantly need more of. Even if the person who is after you isn’t someone you’d normally be attracted to. It doesn’t matter, because suddenly, you are the one with the upper hand. Don’t let them fool you and make you think otherwise. You are a gem. A diamond in the rough. And that person is the mere mortal fortuitous enough to share the air with you in the present moment, because come tomorrow, you are onto the next thing. Just like that asshole was however many years ago. Embrace it. Relish it. Because now you are the coveted one.

I was eighteen when I lost my virginity. And let me be clear. In that moment, I truly thought he was the one I would marry. Looking back, I laugh, wondering how I convinced myself of that lie, but sometimes, as teenagers, we can make ourselves believe almost anything.

I remember the day after at school. I felt sore. So sore that walking hurt. Up and down stairs. All day. I was miserable. But I was a woman of faith. I couldn’t tell my friends. I had betrayed the promise I made to my future husband, supposing I didn’t end up marrying this man, as well as to my Savior.

Later that week was winter ball and I had invited a good friend of mine who had moved out of state for our senior year of high school. My boyfriend at the time was twenty-one and wasn’t allowed at the dance.

That whole experience was miserable. I had a yeast infection. I was in constant pain. I had so much ointment on myself I had to wear a pad. It was truly one of the most embarrassing nights of my life. No one knew of my condition, but inside I felt humiliation at my incessant need to visit the restroom. And I couldn’t even dance with the man I loved.

After the dance the infection didn’t subside. I was constantly in pain. How is this not gone? I wondered. After almost a week, my mother made me go to the doctor. She was convinced it wasn’t a yeast infection. She badgered me until I relented and told her I’d had sex. Of course she was mortified. As any mother should be. She told me it could be an STI. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing; surely not me, a church-going lady. I promise we’ll come back to this later.

The boy-crazy years for me started young, very young. I have journals from my elementary years talking about boys I was in love with. We really need to teach our young ladies that the word love is too special to throw around at the ripe age of nine. If I go back and count how many different boys I used it with, I’m sure it would clock in at over 30 before the end of my high school years. I think that’s the most concerning part of my childhood journals. There were other clues there that would point me in the direction of the way I would end up, but the tossing around of the word love with boys I didn’t even really know makes me cringe. I talked profusely about wanting to hug and kiss boys all day. I was quick to prioritize them in my life after even the slightest sign of attention. I had no concept of guarding my heart or moving slowly. And while all of this seems innocent and naïve, looking back at it now makes me wonder how innocent it really was. If we understand what words mean, and more importantly, what actions those words translate into, I think it’s clear we know what we’re saying. Reading entries about brand new boys in class and wanting to have that kind of intimacy with them screams lust to me now. Of course, a nine or ten-year-old has no concept of what lust is or the difference between love and lust, but our older selves do, and behavior tends to run in patterns. This would definitely become a pattern in my life and is probably what would ultimately lead me to my fate. It’s funny how hindsight is 20/20 and you really can’t even be mad about where you end up based on where you started.

Instead of boring you with every boy I’ve had a crush on since childhood, I’m only going to mention the important ones; the ones who had some sort of impact on me or helped me learn a good lesson. I’ll be breaking them up into different categories: relationships, flings, and one date wonders. Being in one category or the other doesn’t necessarily guarantee a longer or shorter story; it’s just my way of distinguishing between something more or less serious when it comes to dating. You’re also going to find that some guys in