Then Came Grace: The Journal Account of How One Family Went from Darkness into Their Destiny

By Sister Sage

Catch the momentum of how a cracked foundation in the initial development of a life can become constructive and a lesson in how to not only survive, but come out with a testimony of Gods grace and deliverance. Every tear is turned into joy and beauty into ashes.

This book is a story whose time has come to openly communicate about abuse and its affects on all involved. Just as decades ago alcohol and drugs were unthinkable topics to discuss, today they are dealt with and healing is found. So it is with the subject of abuse within the family structure. It is now okay to discuss and communicate about its origins and prevention. The "who" is not important within the content of the book. Prevention and healing are essential in order to reach ones full potential and calling in life.

Healing is found in understanding, love, prayer, praise, deliverance. A spectacular ending. A must read.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 10, 2011
• ISBN: 9781452006826

Sister Sage

Sister Sage is the riveting voice to tens of thousands of parents caught in unforeseen circumstances which because of the sheer stress of it lead to divorce. The author takes us through her journey of the unthinkable and tells how to live and thrive despite all obstacles. She challenges the soul within each individual to rise up and create something excellent out of total ruin and despair. What should have been destructive evolves into lives free to be who God created within them. She holds a Masters degree in Applied Behavioral Science (a combination of psychology, sociology, anthropology, communications and organizational development) from a world renowned university. She however believes that the best and most important learning is found within life experiences.

Book preview

Part l

The Beginning Of the Journey

My earliest memories include when I was about four years old and hiding under a bed while persons who were dear to me fought in the kitchen across the hall. While I do not remember seeing any physical violence, I heard arguing, dishes and objects hitting the floor. The next vivid memory is that of riding in a car to an unknown place. By now I was about six and my sister seven years of age. It was she and I and mother who arrived somewhere at night. I vaguely recall another woman, whom probably was an aunt. I will call her Beatrice. I was half asleep and helped into a beautiful new house where the three of us would live for the next 12 years.

As long as I can recall, the women in my family have always seemed to do what was necessary in order to benefit their families and further themselves to the extent that they were able. It seems important to talk about early childhood and ideas because this is the foundation of our choices in later years. The foundation whether filled with positive or the negative will ultimately help determine our outcome. However there are always moments to stop and rearrange our thinking to alter our destiny.

About now a summer has passed and I get to visit with grandma who lives in the country. She raised my mother along with about 12 other children as a single parent after losing her husband, my granddad in an accident. Sis refused to go because of the mosquitoes.

That and the fact there was nothing to do but take long walks and go to the country store up the street from grandmas. The next thing I knew, the sign said Acamac County, Virginia.

Grandma probably guessed I was lonely and bored when I routinely walked by the calendar on the wall to see how many days I had been there and when I could return to city life. It was six weeks of becoming acquainted with how folks lived without indoor plumbing, TV and the telephone. This was the mid sixties and such things were still a luxury in parts of the south.

This was the summer I learned about an outhouse. You had to use a slop jar which was at the side of the bed. It was filled with water and ammonia. You used that as your bathroom. Next morning you take the jar by the handle and empty it out in the back yard. In the day however you would use the outhouse, which resembled the modern outdoor facilities in the parks. It was literally a hole in the ground. I remember snakeskins hanging where the snakes had shed their skins there. The long walks to the country store and to grandmas neighbor and friend up the road a piece gave us exercise. This was long before brisk walking was a popular form of exercise. Grandma lived to be close to 90. She died than I believe of a broken heart when one of her sons died tragically.

What I did learn that summer however, was to be at peace in whatever situation you find yourself. A the time little did I know I would need this lesson further down the road. For about 25 years later something would occur that would rock the foundation and the very existence of my seed and myself.

Away From Home: The First Miracle

I was 18 and going away to school. Sis and I had been taught at an early age about education. We had no choice. Mother said that black people could only get ahead with an education. I later learned that to be true as I studied the lives of people who had broken the mold of poverty with education. I now understand however the best combination is education and finding your own personal niche on which to build several streams of income and business.

There I was at a well-known university in Washington, DC. Fortunately I was able to get a scholarship and this made me study extra hard to maintain it. Unfortunately, I also had to work in order to have extra spending money and help with expenses. I met a strikingly attractive guy with personality galore. It was time for a GYN visit. Although I had come up in the church, I was far from having a real relationship with God. While I thought I knew Him, my behavior over the next four years showed me I did not. Don’t get me wrong; I barely drank a half a glass of wine at any time and drugs was out of the question. I was not the party girl. While I knew and got along with people. I usually hung with just a few friends.

My visit to the GYN revealed something unexpected. I entered the small room within the doctor’s office. Following the exam, which included the Pap smear, the doctor, handed me a pamphlet and told me to read it. He told me he would return in a few moments to answer any questions about it.

The pamphlet was all about cervical cancer! Over 30 years later, I still remember exactly how that room looked. To the left of the examining table was a small metal chair to which I found myself kneeling before the throne of grace and mercy. I remembered that my grandma had taught me to call on the name of Jesus whenever I was in need of something.

I remember telling him that I was only 18 and wanted to someday get married and have children. Heal my body Lord, I believe you will in the name of Jesus, Amen. Yes, it went something like that. I kept talking to him as if I knew he would do it and I could not get up until I had the assurance it was done. Now the doctor re-enters the little room and his Asian eyes seemed warm yet firm. I asked if he would re-examine me. He said yes but he was sure of the findings. Several confirmations indicated that the abnormal cells that were present just moments ago were now gone! That was the first of many miracles. Now allow me to show Gods unlimited love and mercy. One would think that after such a manifestation of love I would be so grateful and turn away from my original plan to fornicate. On the contrary, I had no idea at the time that I was doing anything so wrong. After all, although I knew in my heart that God wanted marriage before sex, it seemed unimportant. The audacity of me thinking that my plans were larger than His. After all it wasn’t as if I were sleeping around.

There was one boyfriend. We stayed devoted to each other for the next 3.5 years, but we were never to marry. Sometime in the junior year, I believed he was interested in one of my roommates. By that time four of us girls from the university had rented a house. Kim, I will call her, seemed ever so flirty with who I will call Jimmy.

It was over for me the day I discovered they had gone to an amusement park together and never told me. From that day I never talked to or mentioned anything else about us as a couple.

The Post Graduation Years

After school I landed a job at the place where I had interned as a sophomore in college. I always loved to write and was given health education materials to write for the high-risk populations and the general public for the city government. I lived in the big city and quickly adjusted to the hustle of working. I decided to apply for graduate school and fortunately the government job where I worked paid for over half of the tuition. The catch was I had to continue working there for 5 years.

I lived in the basement apartment of my mother’s house. During those years I met and had relationships with men who I believed were one way and turned out to be another. Like most of the women I knew I was dating with the idea of eventually becoming serious and having a permanent relationship. I was brought up to understand marriage was the way decent young ladies conducted their affairs.

It was not until later that I learned about Godly relationships and seeking the best for yourself, knowing exactly what to look for and what to avoid. This would not be learned however until many tears and pain occurred.

Never being around males for any period of time in my youth, I did not acquire discernment about what was good or bad within their character. Like most people, if he looked and sounded decent he must be.

If he came from a good home, this meant his family had aspired to become learned people. They had trained to be a professional. Later I learned, that is just what they were trained to be for their livelihood. It was not who they were as a person. They could be articulate and still be quite uncouth in their thinking and behavior towards women. Were they really capable of valuing women? Was I really capable of valuing myself enough to only settle for the best and know how to discern this? Not during those times. It was to become a process of trial and error. The path seemed dimly lit because most of the women that I knew may have been married but did not really seem happy. Most of the couples seemed to be merely tolerating each other.

So I had my share of breakups that brought me to tears. I was a