The Audacity of Veracity

By Nicky Dare

In her captivating narrative, The Audacity of Veracity – iDARE, author Nicky Dare chronicles her deeply personal reflections and life experiences. Aside from being a poignant tribute to her parents and upbringing in western traditions, the book is a celebration of life’s joys and struggles, certain to resonate with all readers, particularly women. iDARE – Integrity of Diversity, Adaptation, Resilience, and Empowerment is a powerful credo that can be adapted and applied to any aspect of daily life. Its philosophies were born of one woman’s challenges in transcending cultural divides, confronting tragic loss, relationship issues, sustaining an entrepreneurship, and juggling all of these demands at once.

In a literal and metaphoric sense, the book is a travelogue, which takes the reader to different places in the world; and it is also an internal contemplative journey on which the author dares to take her readers, in the hope of sharing profoundly wise insights. Happiness is a choice. Dare to dream, to savour the moment, and to live authentically-iDare way!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 24, 2014
• ISBN: 9781493157983

Nicky Dare

Ms. Dare is an outdoor enthusiast whose life journey has been part of fulfilling her personal development. In the last decade, Dare has been helping people to prepare and get trained for the worst and unexpected disasters, both in natural and man made. As an educator, Dare is passionate helping individuals, families, and groups train and prepare mentally, physically, and financially. “People don’t like to plan for the worst, but preparedness and knowledge is what separates the survivors from the victims. Disasters and emergencies can strike at any time and most without warning. Even though we may not be 100% prepared, cultivating knowledge and gaining survival mindset and skills can help drastically reduce disaster risks.” Nicky Dare, “Safety and Survival” (2018). Her hands-on experiences and generous character make for a combination unlike any other. Dare spent most of her lifetime enjoying the outdoors, experiencing the survival wilderness, as well as learning urban survival challenges in different parts of the world. She uses her real-world insights to help educate and train many people and organizations. Dare is widely considered as on the industries most qualified and most experienced professionals. Dare offers a variety of services, including this phenomenal resource, for those who want to develop the necessary skills to keep themselves and their loved ones safe. In respond to the pandemic outbreak, Dare created a global awareness “30-Day Challenge” #DAREToSaveLives, a cause with its goal to connect people, virtually, around the world to save lives during the unprecedented pandemic by taking part in staying home: staying safe and healthy. To learn more of this amazing cause, go to: https://idarecares.org Author “Safety and Survival: Personal Preparedness Assessment Guide” (2018) and “The Audacity of Veracity” (2014). More of her books are coming soon. For more, go to her website: www.NickyDare.com 60

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Copyright © 2014 by Nicky Dare.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2013923736

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-4931-5797-6

                Softcover        978-1-4931-5796-9

                eBook             978-1-4931-5798-3

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Disclaimer: The names of the individuals mentioned in this book have been fictionalized, so as to protect the identities of the parties to whom they refer. Absent express consent, actual names were not used.

The photos featured herein are the exclusive copyright of the author, Nicky Dare.

Rev. date: 06/13/2014

Xlibris LLC

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

548771

Contents

Foreword

Preface

Chapter 1: Phases of Light and Shadow

Chapter 2: Inner Revolution and Evolution

Chapter 3: Rebellion, Heartbreak, and Accountability

Chapter 4: Self-Discovery and Empowerment

Chapter 5: The Little Cat and the Big Bear

Chapter 6: Living In Goodness

Chapter 7: Proposals and Disposals

Chapter 8: The Fine Line

Chapter 9: A Love Merger

Chapter 10: Juggling Acts

Chapter 11: Carving the Fun Out of Dysfunctional

Chapter 12: Coming From the Heart

Chapter 13: Rising Above

Chapter 14: Head Games

Chapter 15: Difficult Choices and the Emergence of Consciousness

Chapter 16: Facing the Past, Creating the Future

Chapter 17: Background Noise

Chapter 18: Having the Right Attitude In Adversity

Chapter 19: No One Can Steal Your Joy

Chapter 20: Mens Sana In Corpore Sano

Walaupun kamu Nak mandi seluruh air lautan, kamu tetap Anak Indonesia.

Even though you immerse yourself in all the waters of the oceans, you will still be my Indonesian child.

Ida Munawar

Habis Gelap Terbitlah Terang

(The light shines through the darkness)

Raden Ayu Kartini

To my beloved parents, Ida and Munawar, who shaped my life and made me who I have become;

to my best friend and husband, my one and only CaveMan and two precious sons, whom I love unconditionally, with all of my heart and every breath I take;

to every person who has bestowed a kindness in my life.

I am humbled and grateful.

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Foreword

My Mom is a great person, someone I admire and look up to.  Her life has not been easy, but she always comes through every struggle with a smile and a kind word.  She is funny and easy-going, and she understands people and tries to help anyone she can in every way possible.

This book has been her dream for a long time.  She wanted to write her story to demonstrate what it was like for a girl from an eastern culture to transition to the west, and to shed light on the values that she grew up with and the obstacles that she had to face along the way.  Most of all, her goal has always been to use her life as an example to others with her yes-you-can approach to life.  The Principles sections at the end of each chapter summarize the philosophies that she developed as a result of her experiences.  With her words, she hopes to be an inspiration to others, particularly to those faced with the same kinds of challenges.

Every morning, my Mom wakes up at the crack of dawn and adopts an optimistic perspective, despite her present adversities and regardless of what she has to face on any given day.  The values that her parents instilled in her are passed on to her family, and in my own way, I try to live up to them.  I’m very glad that Mom finally has a chance to share her views with the world.  I believe that everyone can relate to her story in some way, and take away some valuable lessons.

I love you, Mom, and I am so proud to be your son.

Love, Briann Pumkin

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Preface

iDARE, the acronym for Integrity of Diversity, Adaptation, Resilience, and Empowerment, is the hallmark of my life, derived from learning to evolve through difficult circumstances.  Growth experiences necessarily result from challenges.  Without obstacles, we never would know the true meaning of success or feel the exaltation of triumph over adversity.  Through my personal life’s journey, I hope to demonstrate how, in transcending seemingly insurmountable hurdles, people can claim their true inner strength.  The cliché, to err is human" can be modified in innumerable ways.  Fear, loss, rejection, disappointment, heartache, family dysfunction, unmitigated joy, and unspeakable despair are all inexorable parts of the human condition.  In other words, life is a series of opposites;  and even though polar extremes can make us intensely confused, at times, they also present a glorious opportunity—the chance to unlock our often untapped potential and talents that we never even knew existed.  Each of us is a tiny microcosm of potential, yearning to find expression and the channels for our individual uniqueness.  Doing so is just a decision away—the affirmation iDARE.  I dare to be courageous, strong, tenacious, fearless, and unique.  Non-conformism is a core element of the iDARE concept, as it commands us to claim our right to be—however we define being happy, content, secure, and ready to grasp life in all of its wonderful and, often, terrifying aspects.

Within each individual lies the key to the unleashing of greatness.  The key is not a physical construct;  it is, rather, a plan, which we first must articulate for ourselves.  Sometimes, writing down a roadmap for life can help.  As I entered my college years, I wrote My Life Plans and Goals.  At the time, I had no idea that my journal was the origin of the iDARE philosophy.  The words formulated by my youthful heart, enhanced by time and life experience, still resonate in my present consciousness.

In order to be successful, I wrote, "I must be…

(1)   FIRST

(2)   DARING

(3)   ORIGINAL

(4)   PERSISTENT

Since I penned those affirmations, I learned that there is no blueprint for anything.  Although that concept may sound frightening, it is also liberating.  We are all blank slates—our own creations—ready to be molded and shaped into whatever and whomever we envision.

The ideological template for my life took shape through the love and nurturing of my parents, my anchors in every storm.  Despite periods of emotional dissociation and distance, owing to the vicissitudes of life, my mother, Ida and father, Munawar, provided the unshakable foundation on which I stand today.  Geographic distance never can keep me from my Mom, to whom I speak every day;  and the finite nature of existence never will curtail or diminish the eternal love that I feel for my Dad, who enters my dreams every night and comes to me, again and again, in the luminescence of the moon.

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On my parent’s foundation of love, strength, and discipline, I grew.  I also came to acknowledge that notwithstanding the framework that we build for ourselves, life can be unpredictable.  Looking back on my life and goals, I say out loud, What was I thinking? I didn’t count on the many unexpected pitfalls that I would, inevitably, encounter along the way: a huge transition from eastern into western culture, having to fend for myself without a consistent parental presence in my formative and early adult experience, developing and sustaining a career and owning a business at a very early age, a failed marriage while I was two months pregnant, the birth of my son without his father, the tragic, untimely death of my own beloved Dad, having to endure his loss and honor his legacy, my disconnect and subsequent indelible meeting of the minds with my cherished Mom, who is now the bedrock of my world, learning to be a Mom, myself, remarrying, learning how opposites really do attract, encountering health issues, and countless other experiences that I will share in these pages.

The act of imparting my experience is not only cathartic;  it is a life-affirming declaration to all who hold this book in hand that anything is possible through faith and the courage to dare.  Fear is a natural reaction to various obstacles that we encounter along life’s road.  At times, we feel trapped, without any alternatives.  Some people call these situations rock bottom, but there is always a chance to tap our inner resources, rebuild, and focus on a new goal.  Our strength to move forward derives from the Source, our God (however we, as individuals, with different perspectives, conceive Him to be).  As the all-powerful Creator, God is unchangeable, constant, and unconditionally loving.  Even when we are not aware, His love and power are at work in our lives.  To access that strength, we need only open our minds and hearts to embrace Him.  Doing so is a rejection of mediocrity and linear living, with interest in and enthusiasm for the rollercoaster ride called life, in which all of us participate.

Breaking free from the confines of limitation—no matter what the issue may be—health, career, family life, social interaction—is the cornerstone of living authentically.

The iDARE concept is based on the notion that by looking through a multi-dimensional mirror from the outside in, you experience a paradigm shift—a new reality, shaped by personal perspective, solidified by pillars of excellence or anchors that hold the structure (i.e., whatever the goal may be) intact.  My pillars are my parents, and the values and philosophies that they infused in me over time.  That metaphor forms the foundation of iDARE principles and ideologies, which are based on my own real-life experiences.  iDARE is intended to signify i -ndividual daring, and aims to inspire others to live their lives with truth and purpose.  In other words, everyone has a back story which molds and shapes us.  When we look at it objectively, with perspective, set by time-honored cultures, traditions, and beliefs (or pillars), we have access to the perfect foundation of our respective HIS-tory, HER- story, THEIR-story, YOUR-story, and MY story, which I dare to tell in these pages.  In so doing, I hope to demonstrate that, no matter what circumstances you may find yourself in today, you can transform the negatives into renewed positives, and find unimaginable strength.

Take it from me, iDARE is as quick and immediate as your pulse.  You can’t miss the chance.  It’s as close as your heartbeat and intention.  May my journey provide a measure of impetus.

Nicky Dare

Chapter 1

Phases of Light and Shadow

Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit.  We are all the same in this notion.  The potential for greatness lives within each of us.

Wilma Rudolph

I n a Singapore hospital’s intensive care unit, my Dad, Munawar, lay supine and motionless on his bed, able only to hold my hand and stare